Dear Webby's Humor Letter
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 Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, December 10 ____________________________________________________ Today, December 10 in  1958 The first domestic passenger jet flight took place in the U.S. when 111 passengers flew from New York to Miami on a National Airlines Boeing 707.  ______________________________________________________ 
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Today's Bonehead Award: Florida Man Poured Cup Of Semen On Panera Customer _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! _______________________________________________ My theory is that if you look confident you can pull off anything - even if you have no clue what you're doing. --- Jessica Alba There is only one thing a philosopher can be relied upon to do, and that is to contradict other philosophers. --- William James _______________________________________________ It is sometimes easy to forget how easily email technology can be misused, sometimes unintentionally, with serious consequences. Consider the case of the man who left the snow-filled streets of Chicago, for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife, whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint. At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on her computer screen: Dearest Wife, Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Your Loving Husband P.S. Sure is hot down here. ________________________________________________` Resurrected Ex came back as an ass? ____________________________________________________
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___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Patrick Bruce, 28, Talahasse, Floriduh Florida Man Poured Cup Of Semen On Panera Customer The victim screamed when she realized the liquid substance in the cup wasn't soda. A Florida man is facing charges after police said he dumped a foam cup containing semen over a woman at Panera. Tallahassee Police arrested 28-year-old Patrick Bruce on Tuesday and charged him with two counts of battery, indecent exposure and commission of a lewd and lascivious act. Police said on Sept. 12, Bruce allegedly entered the restaurant and stared at two women who were dining and doing homework. He then moved to a table close to the women while continuing to stare at them, the Tallahassee Democrat reports. The women told police they saw Bruce leave the restaurant and return with a foam fountain drink cup. Bruce then allegedly went into the Panera bathroom. When he came out, he allegedly poured the contents of the cup on one of the women, saying Here you go, according to WPEC-TV. The woman screamed when she realized the liquid substance in the cup wasn't soda, police said. The victims told police Bruce apologized before driving away. Panera employees told police that Bruce dropped his cellphone at the restaurant. When they looked through it, they say they found a video of the suspect masturbating into a cup matching the one he held during the alleged incident, according to WTXL. The phone was turned over as evidence. Investigators said Bruce has a history of indecent acts in public.
DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Francisca RE: Camera cable or Chip Reader ? Dear Webby What is better, a camera that downloads directly to the computer, or a camera where you have to remove a chip and copy from that into the computer. one of my friends has one type, another friend has the other type, and of course each claims their version is better. What is YOUR recommendation ? Francisca Dear Francisca The better cameras offer both methods, but if you have a choice, you throw away the camera-to-computer cable. If you are limited to downloading directly to the computer via a very special cable and program, you are totally out of luck if your camera's memory is full while you are on a canoe trip and don't have the computer along. If you have removable chips, you pop out the full chip and push in the next one. Those memory chips are very sturdy, and they just fit into the parking meter change pockets that you get on some belts. A memory chip reader is $12 - $15 and reads 8MB to 4GB memory chips. Personally, I use mostly 2 GB chips, and I also use them instead of floppies. When you slide that memory chip into the reader or the computer, you instantly have an extra harddrive. You can then copy the pictures from the chip or even edit them right on the chip. Also, keep in mind that slow transfer via cable drains the 6 Volt camera battery. It tries to charge up the 5 Volt USB port! Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
At a clearance sale, the wife of a federal district court judge found a green tie that was a perfect match for one of her husband's sports jackets. Soon after, while the couple was vacationing at a resort complex to get his mind off a rather complicated cocaine conspiracy case, he noticed a small, round disc sewn into the design of the tie. The judge showed it to a local FBI agent, who was equally suspicious that it might be a 'bug' planted by the conspiracy defendants. The agent sent the device to FBI headquarters In Washington, DC for analysis. Two weeks later, the judge phoned the Washington office to learn the results of their tests. "We're not sure where the disc came from," the FBI told him, "but we discovered that when you press it, it plays 'Jingle Bells.'"
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A truck driver who had been delivering radioactive waste for the local reactor begins to feel sick after a few years on the job. He decided to seek compensation for his ailment. Upon his arrival at the workers' compensation department, he is interviewed by an assessor. Assessor: I see you work with radio-active materials and wish to claim compensation. Trucker: Yeah, I feel really sick. Assessor: Alright then, Does your employer take measures to protect you from radiation poisoning? Trucker: Yeah, he gives me a lead suit to wear on the job. Assessor: And what about the cabin in which you drive? Trucker: Oh yeah. That's lead lined, all lead lined. Assessor: What about the waste itself? Where is that kept? Trucker: Oh, the stuff is held in a lead container, all lead. Assessor: Let me see if I get this straight. You wear a lead suit, sit in a lead-lined cabin and the radio-active waste is kept in a lead container. Trucker: Yeah, that's right. All lead. Assessor: Then I can't see how you could claim against him for radiation poisoning. Trucker: I'm not. I claiming for lead poisoning. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Fix Leaky Toilets A leaky toilet can waste 50 gallons or more per day. To test to see your toilet is leaking, put drops of food coloring into the toilet tank. Wait 15 minutes. If color has made it's way to the bowl, you have a leak. Try replacing the flush valve in the tank to correct the problem. Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun ____________________________________________________
Oldest still street legal car is 125 years old
___________________________________________________ A wise, old Indian chief was famous for predicting what the weather would do. A group of people went up to the chief and asked him, "What will the weather be like tomorrow?" The chief replied, "Much rain. Very wet." The next day, it did rain and it was very wet. Some more people went up to the chief and asked, "What will the weather be like tomorrow?" "Much snow. Very cold." Sure enough, it snowed and it was very cold. People were so impressed with this, they asked him another time. Chief," they asked, "what will the weather do tomorrow?" The chief replied, "I dunno. I was watching wrestling instead of the weather channel." ___________________________________________________ Unable to attend the funeral after his Uncle Charlie died, a man who lived far away called his brother and told him, "Do something nice for Uncle Charlie and send me the bill." Later, he got a bill for $200.00, which he paid. The next month, he got another bill for $200.00, which he also paid, figuring it was some incidental expense. But, when the bills for $200.00 kept arriving every month, he finally called his brother again to find out what was going on. "Well," said the other brother, "You said to do something nice for Uncle Charlie...... So I rented him a tuxedo!" ___________________________________________________ Donna was driving home and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner knew her, and remembered that she still had not paid a bill from half a year ago, so he decided to have some fun. He told her just to go home and blow into the tailpipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out. So Donna went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. She blew harder, and still nothing happened. Her roommate, Rachel, came home and said, "What are you doing?" Donna told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tailpipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. Rachel rolled her eyes and said, "Duh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first!" __________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
___________________________________________________
 Today, December 10 in 1520 Martin Luther publicly burned the papal edict. The papacy demanded that he recant or face excommunication. Luther refused and was formally expelled from the church in January 1521. 1845 British civil engineer Robert Thompson patented the first pneumatic tires. 1869 Women were granted the right to vote in the Wyoming Territory. 1898 A treaty was signed in Paris that officially ended the Spanish-American War. Also, Cuba became independent of Spain. 1901 The first Nobel prizes were awarded. 1906 U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt became the first American to be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, for helping mediate an end to the Russo-Japanese War. 1941 Japan invaded the Philippines. 1941 The Royal Naval battleships Prince of Wales and Repulse were sunk by Japanese aircraft in the Battle of Malaya. 1953 Hugh Hefner published the first "Playboy" magazine with an investment of $7,600. 1958 The first domestic passenger jet flight took place in the U.S. when 111 passengers flew from New York to Miami on a National Airlines Boeing 707. 1964 In Oslo, Norway, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. received the Nobel Peace Prize. He was the youngest person to receive the award. 1982 The Law of the Sea Convention was signed by 118 countries in Montego Bay, Jamaica. 23 nations and the U.S. were excluded. 1984 South African Bishop Desmond Tutu received the Nobel Peace Prize. 1990 The U.S. Food & Drug Administration approved Norplant, a long-acting contraceptive implant. 1992 Oregon Senator Bob Packwood apologized for what he called "unwelcome and offensive" actions toward women. However, he refused to resign. 1993 The crew of the space shuttle Endeavor deployed the repaired Hubble Space Telescope into Earth's orbit. 1994 Advertising executive Thomas Mosser of North Caldwell, NJ, was killed by a mail bomb that was blamed on the Unabomber. 1994 Yasser Arafat, Shimon Peres and Yitzhak Rabin received the Nobel Peace Prize. They pledged to pursue their mission of healing the Middle East. 1995 The first U.S. Marines arrived in the Bosnian capital of Sarajevo to join NATO soldiers sent to enforce peace in the former Yugoslavia. 1996 South Africa's President Mandela signed into law a new democratic constitution, completing the country's transition from white-minority rule to a non-racial democracy. 1998 Six astronauts opened the doors to the new international space station 250 miles above the Earth's surface. 1998 The Palestinian leadership scrapped constitutional clauses that rejected Israel's existence. 1999 After three years under suspicion of being a spy for China, computer scientist Wen Ho Lee was arrested. He was charged with removing secrets from the Los Alamos weapons lab. Lee later pled guilty to one count of downloading restricted data to tape and was freed. The other 58 counts were dropped. 2003 The U.S. barred firms based in certain countries, opponents of the Iraq war, from bidding on Iraqi reconstruction projects. The ban did not prevent companies from winning subcontracts. 2007 Cristina Fernandez was sworn in as Argentina's first elected female president. 2019 Do smiled. 

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