Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, September 5 _____________________________________________________ Today, September 5 in 1991 Soviet lawmakers created an interim government to usher in the confederation after dissolving the U.S.S.R. The new name the Union of Sovereign States was taken. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you lcan help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Meth, fentanyl stashed with McDonald's grub _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! _______________________________________________ Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined. --- Samuel Goldwyn (1882 - 1974) _______________________________________________ "Lizzie," asked Jill thoughtfully one day, "what would you do if you caught another woman in bed with your husband?" "With Phil?" Lizzie thought it over. "Let's see....... I'd break her cane, shoot her guide dog, and call a cab to take her back to the institution she escaped from." ________________________________________________` Whiskered Treeswift _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Eric Little, 34, Largo, Floriduh Meth, fentanyl stashed with McDonald's grub A search of a Chicken McNuggets container yielded baggies of methamphetamine and fentanyl that were nestled alongside the McDonald's fried delights, according to Florida police who arrested an alleged poultry/narcotics enthusiast on felony charges. During a 3:15 AM encounter yesterday at an extended stay hotel in Largo, a Tampa suburb, cops searched a backpack in the possession of Eric Little, a 34-year-old whose rap sheet includes convictions for assault, narcotics possession, and violating probation. Investigators found a used syringe inside the backpack, along with a container of Chicken McNuggets. An examination of the container revealed that it held McNuggets & approx. 7.5 grams of methamphetamine and a bag of fentanyl weighing 1.3 grams, according to court affidavits. Little, seen above, was arrested on a pair of felony narcotics possession charges and a misdemeanor possession of drug paraphernalia count. He was freed last night from the county jail after posting $4150 bond. Little, whose employer is listed in police records as an assisted living facility, is scheduled for a September 5 court appearance. While the meth and fentanyl were seized as evidence, Little's Chicken McNuggets appear to have been discarded. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Bev Re: Pictures not good for printing Dear Webby, took your advice and got the Canon SD 880 Elph camera and I love it. The problem that I have is, I want to print them on 4X6 photo paper and it will only give me a vertical slice of the picture. My printer is Canon 310. I need a program that will let me flip the picture and compress it down to that size. Please tell me what I need to do in idiot language since I'm such a novice at this. Computer is Windows W7. Thank you, Bev Dear Bev Personally, I am a fan of PSP (Paint Shop Pro) since about 1992. However, any graphics program will do for simple turning and re-sizing, even the free Microsoft Paint program. It has improved dramatically over the decades and will do that quite nicely. If you can afford it, get PSP. Otherwise just look for any free graphics program for now, and put PSP on the Santa Claus list. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. After a heart-transplant operation, the patient was receiving instructions from his doctor. He was placed on a strict diet, denied alcohol and advised to get at least four hours' sleep a night. Finally, the patient asked: "What about my sex life, Doc? Will it be all right for me to have intercourse?" "Just with your wife," responded the doctor. We don't want you to get too excited for a while." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
"A new study says that it actually takes men longer to shop on the internet then it does for them to shop in an actual store. Well of course! There's no naked women at the stores." ---Jay Leno ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com font color="#009990"> Buying Christmas Items Now is a great time to buy Christmas decorations, wrapping paper and cards at clearance prices. Only buy items you know you will use and put them in a clearly marked box. Candy and chocolate are also on sale. If you use it for baking, you can freeze it to use year round. thriftyfun.Com ____________________________________________________ | | Complete Listing of World Wonders |
___________________________________________________ Poor Ole was having trouble getting his neighbor to keep his chickens fenced in. The neighbor kept telling him the chickens had the right to go where they wanted. But the birds were ruining Ole's prize-winning flowerbeds. Two weeks later, a friend visited Ole and noticed his flowerbeds were doing great. The flowers were even beginning to bloom! The friend asked, "How did you make your neighbor keep his hens in his own yard?" Ole replied, "Easy! One night I hid a dozen eggs under a bush by my flower bed, and the next day I let my neighbor see me gather them. He put up a fence and I haven't been bothered since." ___________________________________________________ A woman goes into a meat market and asks the butcher why his porkchops are 99 cents a pound when the guy across the street is selling his for 89 cents? The butcher says: "Well then, why don't you go over there and buy his?" The lady says: "He doesn't have any." The butcher says: "Well thats nothing, when I don't have any, I sell mine for 79 cents." ___________________________________________________ A guy goes to a girl's house for the first time and she shows him into the living room. She excuses herself to go to the kitchen to make them a few drinks. As he's standing there alone, he notices a cute little vase on the mantel. He picks it up and as he's looking at it, she walks back in. He says, "What's this?" She says, "Oh, my father's ashes are in there." He turns beat red in horror and goes, "Geez, oh..I..." She says, "Yeah, he's too lazy to go to the kitchen to get an ashtray." __________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, September 5 in 1698 Russia's Peter the Great imposed a tax on beards. 1774 The first session of the U.S. Continental Congress convened in Philadelphia. The delegates drafted a declaration of rights and grievances, organized the Continental Association, and elected Peyton Randolph as the first president of the Continental Congress. 1793 In France, the "Reign of Terror" began. The National Convention enacted measures to repress the French Revolutionary activities. 1836 Sam Houston was elected as the first president of the Republic of Texas. 1877 Sioux chief Crazy Horse was killed by the bayonet of a U.S. soldier. The chief allegedly resisted confinement to a jail cell. 1881 The American Red Cross provided relief for disaster for the first time. The disaster was the Great Fire of 1881 in Michigan. 1882 The first U.S. Labor Day parade was held in New York City. 1885 Jake Gumper bought the first gasoline pump to be manufactured in the U.S. 1900 France proclaimed a protectorate over Chad. 1905 The Treaty of Portsmouth was signed by Russia and Japan to end the Russo-Japanese War. The settlement was mediated by U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt in New Hampshire. 1914 The Battle of the Marne began. The Germans, British and French fought for six days killing half a million people. 1917 Federal raids were carried out in 24 cities on International Workers of the World (IWW) headquarters. The raids were prompted by suspected anti-war activities within the labor organization. 1930 Charles Creighton and James Hagris completed the drive from New York City to Los Angeles and back to New York City all in reverse gear. The trip took 42 days in their 1929 Ford Model A. 1939 The U.S. proclaimed its neutrality in World War II. 1945 Iva Toguri D'Aquino was arrested. D'Aquino was suspected of being the wartime radio propagandist "Tokyo Rose". She served six years and was later pardoned by U.S. President Ford. 1953 The first privately operated atomic reactor opened in Raleigh, NC. 1957 Jack Kerouac's "On the Road" was first published. 1958 The first color videotaped program was aired. It was "The Betty Freezor Show" on WBTV-TV in Charlotte, NC. 1958 Boris Pasternak's "Doctor Zhivago" was published for the first time in the U.S. 1960 Cassius Clay of Louisville, KY, won the gold medal in light heavyweight boxing at the Olympic Games in Rome, Italy. Clay later changed his name to Muhammad Ali. 1961 The U.S. government made airline hijacking a federal offense. 1977 The U.S. launched Voyager . 1980 The St. Gothard Tunnel opened in Switzerland. It is the world's longest highway tunnel at 10.14 miles long. 1982 Eddie Hill set a propeller-driven boat water speed record when he reached 229 mph. 1983 U.S. President Reagan denounced the Soviet Union for shooting down a Korean Air Lines. Reagan demanded that the Soviet Union pay reparations for the act that killed 269 people. 1983 "Sports Illustrated" became the first national weekly magazine to use four-color process illustrations on every page. 1984 The space shuttle Discovery landed after its maiden voyage. 1984 Mortimer Zuckerman purchased the newsmagazine, "U.S. News & World Report" for $163 million. 1985 Rioting in South Africa spilled into white neighborhoods for the first time. 1986 NASA launched DOD-1. 1990 Iraqi President Saddam Hussein urged for a Holy War against the West and former allies. 1991 Soviet lawmakers created an interim government to usher in the confederation after dissolving the U.S.S.R. The new name the Union of Sovereign States was taken. 1992 A General Motors Corporation strike ended with a new agreement being approved. Nearly 43,000 workers were on strike. 1995 France set off an underground nuclear blast in the South Pacific. 2003 In London, magician David Blaine entered a clear plastic box and then suspended by a crane over the banks of the Thames River. He remained there until October 19 surviving only on water. 2019 Do smiled. |
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