Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, September 5 Have FUN! Dearwebby Today's Bonehead Award:  Orlando man arrested for shooting up home after woman left negative restaurant review  ______________________________________________________ Today, September 5 in 1914 The Battle of the Marne began. The Germans, British and French fought for six days killing half a million people. More of today in history at HIstory ______________________________________________________ 
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 You can't have a light without a dark to stick it in. --- Arlo Guthrie (1947 - ) There is no expedient to which a man will not go to avoid the labor of thinking. --- Thomas A. Edison A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her. --- Oscar Wilde ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Ross for bringing back this classic: A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play. So he goes to a Priest and asks for his opinion on this question. After consulting the Bible, the Priest says, My son, after an exhaustive search, I am positive that sex is work and is therefore not permitted on Sundays." The man thinks: What does a priest know about sex? So he goes to a Minister, who after all is a married man and experienced in this matter. He queries the Minister and receives the same reply. Sex is work and therefore not for the Sabbath! Not pleased with the reply, he seeks out the ultimate authority: a man of thousands of years tradition and knowledge. In other words, he goes to a Rabbi. The Rabbi ponders the question, then states, My son, sex is definitely play." The man replies, "Rabbi, how can you be so sure when so many others tell me sex is work?" The Rabbi softly speaks, "If sex were work, my wife would have the maid do it." _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ The ninety-five year old woman at the nursing home received a visit from one of her fellow church members. "How are you feeling?" the visitor asked. "Oh," said the lady, "I'm just worried sick!" "What are you worried about, dear?" her friend asked. "You look like you're in good health. They are taking care of you, aren't they?" "Yes, they are taking very good care of me." "Are you in any pain?" she asked. "No, I have never had a pain in my life." "Well, what are you worried about?" her friend asked again. The lady leaned back in her rocking chair and slowly explained her major worry. "Every close friend I ever had has already died and gone on to heaven. I'm afraid they're all wondering where I went." ______________________________________________________   Canopy Walk, Ghana This isnt your average stroll through the rainforest. Suspended 40 feet in the air, visitors literally get the opportunity to walk through the trees! From birds to monkeys, its not just the bridge that is scary! Also you cant just turn back and run if you get scared, the bridge is over a 1,000 feet in length! _____________________________________________________ 
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 _____________________________________________________ Back in those days, it was required that in order for a student to receive credit for a particular course, a card (listing of his/her courses) had to be signed by the instructor/lecturer. It was, at the time, policy that students attend their courses. But depending on the size of the class, it was often quite possible to receive credit, even after not attending the class regularly. Not so, with this physics professor...if he didn't recognize you, you would have to repeat the course (& attend!). On one occasion, a student handed his card to be signed. The professor looked at the name, then at the student, and said, "I've never seen you in my class," and handed back the card. Now being a science student, he naturally thought quickly, and proceeded to the end of the line. When he was at the front again, he handed his card to the prof. The prof looked at the name, then at the student, and said, "You look familiar. OK," and signed the card. ___________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Norman Auvil 42, Orlando, Florida  Orlando man arrested for shooting up home after woman left negative restaurant review  A Florida man was arrested Thursday evening, 10 days after he allegedly shot up a home after one of its residents complained about an experience at a restaurant, the Orange County Sheriff's Office said. On Aug. 20, deputies were called to a home after Norman Auvil, 42, of Orlando -- riding in an SUV driven by Michael Johnson, the restaurant owner's son -- shot the home three times before Johnson drove away, according to an arrest report. The report said one of the bullets pierced a window, narrowly missing the head of Kenneth Walley, who was watching television in the living room. "I actually could feel the air from the bullet as it passed by me," Walley said. "It missed me by about 4 inches." On Aug. 19, Walley's wife, Diana Walley, had been denied service at the Daybreak Diner, so their daughter, Monica Walley, called the diner and spoke with several workers about her mother's visit, the report said. Monica Walley said that she left a negative review on Facebook after her disabled mother was denied service on her birthday. She said the restaurant workers were "unnecessarily rude." "It's my right to be able to tell others what my experience is and what happened and stand up for my mother," Monica Walley said. "I think that anybody in my shoes would have done the same thing." According to the report, Monica Walley was unsatisfied with the diner's response, so she launched a social media campaign against the diner, alleging that they mistreated her mother because of a disability. "The social media campaign resulted in negative online reviews, negative social media posts and harassing and angry phone calls to the restaurant," the report said. "The restaurant's owner, Lizabeth Johnson, later stated she felt that day that her business was ruined as a result of the negative social media campaign." Apparently she did not realize that theb reviews were based on fact. Investigators said that Michael Johnson and his girlfriend, Stephanie Knight, worked at the diner that they intended to inherit someday. The report said Knight and Michael Johnson had been driving a 2013 white Ford Flex registered to Knight's father. The SUV matched the description of the one recorded by a surveillance camera approaching the shooting scene, the report said. Investigators said Michael Johnson and Jesse Martin told them that on Aug. 20, they were drinking beer with Auvil at the home where they all live. Deputies said the men were angry about the damage to the diner's reputation and the negative social media campaign, so Martin used an internet search engine to determine Monica Walley's identity from her Facebook post and to find her address. "(Michael) Johnson drove the white Ford Flex while Martin navigated from the back passenger seat and Auvil rode in the front passenger seat," the report said. "(Michael) Johnson and Martin contend they drove to the Walley residence with the intent to harm someone (via physical fight) or to cause property damage (slashing tires or similar vandalism)." Deputies said Auvil fired the shots when Michael Johnson stopped outside the home. Investigators said the men tried to dispose of the evidence after Michael Johnson drove away. Auvil was arrested Thursday at South Bumby Avenue and Nancy Street, near the Lake Como home where the three men live, deputies said. Detectives said Auvil expressed loyalty to Michael Johnson and Knight and said he had drunk six to eight beers with his friends while discussing the issue and before going for a ride with Michael Johnson and Martin. Investigators said that although Auvil wouldn't discuss his involvement in the incident, he told them that he understands that it "looked bad" for him. Auvil, who was honorably discharged from the U.S. Army, said he drinks beer "most days," investigators said. Auvil was arrested on charges of shooting into an occupied dwelling, shooting from a vehicle within 1,000 feet of a person and abuse of a disabled adult. "I didn't think anybody was crazy enough to do something like this over something so small," Monica Walley said. 
 I am still testing password managers.  From: Erin Re: Google Earth onto second drive  Dear Webby, I trid to install Google-Earth onto my second hard drive, but it insists on going to my C: drive, where I don't have enough space. Is there a way around that bug? Erin  Dear Erin Unfortunately, there isn't. The blithering moron who wrote the Google-Pack installer seems to be ignorant of the fact that 52% of computer uers have more than one hard drive. It seems that Google-Earth has been designated as a program for small children, and the install program has been simplified accordingly. They claim that they need to install your user name and prefereces in the registry and can't do that if the program is anywhere except on the C: drive. They do that fine with Gmail, but seem to refuse doing it with Google Earth. That is a pity, because I do like Google Earth. Grown-ups and advanced users have to get a second computer with enough space on the C: drive to install Google-Earth there. Yeah, I know it's rather dumb, but you can't argue with Google. Have FUN DearWebby  
 Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. 
 A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though they were a very large mammal, their throat was very small. The little girl stated Jonah was swallowed by a whale. The teacher reiterated a whale could not swallow a human; it was impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah." The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him." 
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 Thanks to Bob for this report: I attended Palm Beach Atlantic College in Florida. It's only about a mile from the ocean, so students frequently go to the beach, even between classes. One day I was meeting with our dean, when he stopped me in the middle of our conversation and asked if I was an "A" student. Puzzled, I replied, "Mostly, why do you ask?" "You don't have a tan," he explained. "Around here, the darker the tan, the lower the grade." ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Selling Clothing at Garage Sales To get the most money for your clothing items, makes sure to wash and fold them so they look their best. Lay folded clothing out on a table so people don't have dig through your bags or a big pile. Display dresses and jackets by using hangers.  Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com  ____________________________________________________   
The Forgotten Firsts: 10 Vintage Versions of Modern Technology 
 ___________________________________________________ >From Stormy BRIDE GOES SPLASH What a beautiful wedding! Everything had been perfect. The wedding had taken place on a white sandy beach with a lake as the backdrop. It was time to take photo's The groom was a shy man who had arrived from overseas a few months ago. He had courted his bride until she finally said yes to his pleas of marriage. His family was a bit reserved as he didn't know the girl that well. However, today all was well. The bride decided she wanted to have her and her new husbands photo taken on the dock, leading out into the lake. They were posed, the groom leaned in for a kiss, over tumbled the bride, splat, into the lake. My Irishwolfhound jumped right in after her. The groom was screaming in his own language. My dog was having a horrid time trying to find the bride in the ballooning poufs of her white gown. He got to her head, grabbed on to her veil to swim to shore. Dead silence. My dog had taken her veil all right, along with a long blonde wig she wore. Her new husband along with all his relatives got a good look at what he had married. Short, stubby grey hair. It was bedlam, it was hilarious. My dog brought his prize to me, he was praised well. Someone else had jumped in and brought the sobbing bride to shore. It didn't end well. There wasn't going to be a honeymoon. The foolish groom had fallen in love, not so much with the lady, but her pretty blonde hair. Someone tied the wig and the veil to my dog's head. The poor groom was led away crying. All for blonde curls. Stormy ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 Jill: I just don't understand the attraction golf holds for men. Mary: TELL me about it! I went golfing with my ex one time, and he told me I asked too many questions! Jill: Well, I'm sure you were just trying to understand the game. What questions did you ask? Mary: I thought I asked legitimate questions..like, "Why did you hit the ball into that lake?" ____________________________________________________  
 Today, September 5 in 1698 Russia's Peter the Great imposed a tax on beards. 1774 The first session of the U.S. Continental Congress convened in Philadelphia. The delegates drafted a declaration of rights and grievances, organized the Continental Association, and elected Peyton Randolph as the first president of the Continental Congress. 1793 In France, the "Reign of Terror" began. The National Convention enacted measures to repress the French Revolutionary activities. 1836 Sam Houston was elected as the first president of the Republic of Texas. 1877 Sioux chief Crazy Horse was killed by the bayonet of a U.S. soldier. The chief allegedly resisted confinement to a jail cell. 1881 The American Red Cross provided relief for disaster for the first time. The disaster was the Great Fire of 1881 in Michigan. 1885 Jake Gumper bought the first gasoline pump to be manufactured in the U.S. 1900 France proclaimed a protectorate over Chad. 1905 The Treaty of Portsmouth was signed by Russia and Japan to end the Russo-Japanese War. The settlement was mediated by U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt in New Hampshire. 1914 The Battle of the Marne began. The Germans, British and French fought for six days killing half a million people. 1917 Federal raids were carried out in 24 cities on International Workers of the World (IWW) headquarters. The raids were prompted by suspected anti-war activities within the labor organization. 1930 Charles Creighton and James Hagris completed the drive from New York City to Los Angeles and back to New York City all in reverse gear. The trip took 42 days in their 1929 Ford Model A. 1939 The U.S. proclaimed its neutrality in World War II. 1945 Iva Toguri D'Aquino was arrested. D'Aquino was suspected of being the wartime radio propagandist "Tokyo Rose". She served six years and was later pardoned by U.S. President Ford. 1953 The first privately operated atomic reactor opened in Raleigh, NC. 1958 The first color videotaped program was aired. It was "The Betty Freezor Show" on WBTV-TV in Charlotte, NC. 1958 Boris Pasternak's "Doctor Zhivago" was published for the first time in the U.S. 1960 Cassius Clay of Louisville, KY, won the gold medal in light heavyweight boxing at the Olympic Games in Rome, Italy. Clay later changed his name to Muhammad Ali. 1977 The U.S. launched Voyager . 1980 The St. Gotthard Tunnel opened in Switzerland. It is the world's longest highway tunnel at 10.14 miles long. 1982 Eddie Hill set a propeller-driven boat water speed record when he reached 229 mph. 1983 U.S. President Reagan denounced the Soviet Union for shooting down a Korean Air Lines jet. Reagan demanded that the Soviet Union pay reparations for the act that killed 269 people. 1983 "Sports Illustrated" became the first national weekly magazine to use four-color process illustrations on every page. 1984 The space shuttle Discovery landed after its maiden voyage. 1984 Mortimer Zuckerman purchased the newsmagazine, "U.S. News & World Report" for $163 million. 1985 Rioting in South Africa spilled into white neighborhoods for the first time. 1986 NASA launched DOD-1. 1990 Iraqi President Saddam Hussein urged for a Holy War against the West and former allies. 1991 Soviet lawmakers created an interim government to usher in the confederation after dissolving the U.S.S.R. The new name the Union of Sovereign States was taken. 1992 A General Motors Corporation strike ended with a new agreement being approved. Nearly 43,000 workers were on strike, forcing GM to shift more production overseas. 1995 France set off an underground nuclear blast in the South Pacific. 2003 In London, magician David Blaine entered a clear plastic box and then suspended by a crane over the banks of the Thames River. He remained there until October 19 surviving only on water. 2018 Do smiled. 
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