Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, December 24 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! Thank you, Susan !!! ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Bonehead Award 10K fentanyl pills, guns inside Phoenix man's apartment ____________________________________________________ Today, December 22, in 1818 Franz Gruber of Oberndorf, Austria, composed the music for "Silent Night" to words written by Josef Mohr. ____________________________________________________ Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. --- Rick Cook ____________________________________________________ After the christening of his baby brother in church, little three-year-old Johnny sat in the back seat, unusually quite. Very softly he started to cry until his father noticed him sobbing. "What's wrong, little Johnny?" asked his father. Between sniffles little Johnny replied, "That priest said he wanted us bwought up in a good and regwitches home, but, but, but I don' wanna go to a witches home, I wanna stay with YOU and MOM!" ____________________________________________________ Del Roth Black-capped Chickadee in a snowstorm. December 23 2021 Lac Ste Anne County ____________________________________________________ TATER PEOPLE Some people are very bossy and like to tell others what to do, but don't want to soil their own hands. They are called "Dick Taters." Some people never seem motivated to participate, but are just content to watch while others do the work. They are called "Speck Taters." Some people never do anything to help, but are gifted at finding fault with the way others do the work. They are called "Commie Taters." Some people are always looking to cause problems by asking others to agree with them. It is too hot or too cold, too sour or too sweet. They are called "Aggie Taters." There are those who say they will help, but somehow just never get around to actually doing the promised help. They are called, "Hezzie Taters." Some people can put up a front and pretend to be someone they are not. They are called "Emma Taters." Then there are those who love and do what they say they will. They are always prepared to stop whatever they are doing and lend a helping hand. They bring real sunshine into the lives of others. They are called "SWEET TATERS." ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Brayan Orozco, 21. Phoenix, Arizona, USA 10K fentanyl pills, guns inside Phoenix man's apartment A man was arrested after police said they found 10,000 fentanyl pills and several guns inside his Phoenix apartment. According to court documents, police executed a search warrant at the home of 21-year-old Brayan Navarro Orozco on Dec. 20 and found the fentanyl and guns, along with nearly $50,000 in cash. Additionally, one of the weapons seized had a switch that made it fully automatic. After his arrest, Orozco admitted to police that he sold drugs for the past five years, saying he buys 30 to 40,000 fentanyl pills and sells them out of his car. Orozco is accused of multiple drug and weapons charges. Neighborhood Enforcement Team served search warrant at apt of 21yo Brayan Orozco. Police say they found 10K fentanyl pills, more than $46K in cash & several firearms. Per court docs, one weapon had a switch to make it fully automatic. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ From: Maurie Re: Glasses Dear Webby Once upon a time you used to mention a source for cheap eye glasses, but I have not seen any mention of them for many years. Are you disenchanted with them? Or are they no longer in business? Maurie Dear Maurie That was Clearly Contacts. https://www.clearly.ca/ They are still in business and still sell you glasses for $38 - $50, that others charge $400 for.I got cataract operations about ten years ago, and don't need expensive glasses since then. Talk to your optometrist about a cataract operation. Some don't like the idea, because their income falls away. Look online for optical surgons who do the operation, and book an appointment for a check-up. The actual operation is fast and easy and probably covered by your medical insurance. The nuisance part of it is that you need a driver to bring you home afterward. The same as with any optical exam, your eyes get dilated and it is not safe to drive for the rest of the day. Afterwards you might need reading glasses (Three for $15). They will last you many years, until you sit on them and break them. I highly recommend the cataract operation. Fast, easy, painless, and cheap. Have FUN! DearWebby An engineering student, a physics student, and a mathematics student were each given $150 dollars and were told to use that money to find out exactly how tall a particular hotel was. All three ran off, extremely keen on how to do this. The physics student went out, gathered a few friends, purchased some stopwatches, a number of ball bearings, and a calculator. He had the friends time the drop of ball bearings from the roof, and he then figured out the height from the time it took for the bearings to accelerate from rest until they impacted with the sidewalk. The math student purchased a protractor, plumb line, tripod and measuring tape. She waited until the sun was going down, then used her equipment to measure the length of the shadow, and find the angle the building's roof made from the ground. Then she used trigonometry to figure out the height of the building. Of course, with all that was involved in getting this experiment done, they were up plenty late studying for exams in other courses. These two students bumped into the engineering student the next day, who looked quite refreshed. When asked what he did to find the height of the building he replied, "Well, I walked up to the bell hop, gave him 10 bucks, asked him how tall the hotel was, and went inside for happy hour!" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ First Hunter (panting): "I just met a great big bear in the woods!" Second Hunter: "Good! Did you give him both barrels?" First Hunter: "Both barrels? I gave him the whole gun!!" ______________________________________________ A little girl was wearing one of those Medical Alert bracelets. Someone asked her what the bracelet was for. She replied, "I'm allergic to nuts and eggs." The person asked, "Are you allergic to cats too?" The little girl said, "I don't know..... I haven't learned how to cook those yet." ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
After the plane reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from Calgary to Denver. The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax - OH MY GOD, NO, AHHH!!!" Silence followed and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier, but while I was talking, the flight attendant brought me a cup of very hot coffee and spilled it in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!" A passenger in Coach said, "That's nothing! ............He should see the BACK of MINE!" ___________________________________________________ | Today, December 24, in 1814 The War of 1812 between the U.S. and Britain was ended with the signing of the Treaty of Ghent in Belgium. 1818 Franz Gruber of Oberndorf, Austria composed the music for "Silent Night" to words written by Josef Mohr. 1828 William Burke who, with his partner William Hare, dug up the dead and murdered to sell the corpses for dissection, went on trial in Edinburgh. 1851 A fire devastated the Library of Congress in Washington, DC, destroying about 35,000 volumes. 1865 Several veterans of the Confederate Army formed a private social club in Pulaski, TN, called the Ku Klux Klan. 1906 Reginald A. Fessenden became the first person to broadcast a music program over radio, from Brant Rock, MA. 1914 In World War I, the first air raid on Britain was made when a German airplane dropped a bomb on the grounds of a rectory in Dover. 1928 The first broadcast of "The Voice of Firestone" was heard. 1943 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt appointed Gen. Dwight D. Eisenhower supreme commander of Allied forces as part of Operation Overlord. 1944 A German submarine torpedoed the Belgian transport ship S.S. Leopoldville with 2,235 soldiers aboard. About 800 American soldiers died. The soldiers were crossing the English Channel to be reinforcements at the battle that became known as the Battle of the Bulge. 1948 For the first time ever, a midnight Mass was broadcast on television. It was held at St. Patricks Cathedral in New York City. 1948 The first completely solar-heated house became occupied in Dover, MA. 1951 NBC-TV presented, "Amahl and the Night Visitors," the first opera written for television. 1951 Libya achieved independence as the United Kingdom of Libya, under King Idris. 1965 A meteorite landed on Leicestershire. It weighed about 100lbs. 1966 Luna 13 landed on the moon. 1968 Three astronauts, James A. Lovell, William Anders and Frank Borman, reached the moon. They orbited the moon 10 times before coming back to Earth. Seven months later man first landed on the moon. 1979 Soviet troops invaded Afghanistan in support of the country's Marxist government. 1981 In Eastern Kazakh/Semipalatinsk, the Soviet Union performed a nuclear test. 1985 Fidel Castro, the Cuban president, announced that he was a non-smoker. 1989 Ousted Panamanian ruler Manuel Noriega took refuge at the Vatican's diplomatic mission in Panama City. 1990 Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman were married. 1992 U.S. President George H.W. Bush pardoned former Defense Secretary Caspar Weinberger and five others in the Iran- Contra scandal. 1998 At Disneyland in Anaheim, CA, a tourist was hit by a piece of flying metal while waiting to board a ride. The man's wife and a Disneyland employee were also injured. Luan Phi Dawson died December 26th from his injuries. 1999 An Indian Airlines plane was seized during a flight from Katmandu, Nepal, to New Delhi. In Afghanistan, the 150 hostages were freed on December 31 after India released three Kashmir militants from prison. 2000 The "Texas 7," seven convicts that had escaped a Texas prison, robbed a sports store in Irving, TX. The suspects killed Officer Aubrey Hawkins, stole $70,000, 25 weapons and clothing. The men had escaped on December 13. 2021 Do smiled. |
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