Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, September 22 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________  Man arrested for killing girl, 10, in car-to-car shooting in Southern California  ___________________________________________________ Today, Sept 22 in 1955 Commercial television began in Great Britain. The rules said that only six minutes of ads were allowed each hour and there was no Sunday morning TV permitted. ____________________________________________________ The future will be better tomorrow. --- Dan Quayle (1947 - ) One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory. --- Rita Mae Brown -------------- Hmmmm, I had forgotten about that! ____________________________________________________ My next-door neighbor and I frequently borrow things from each other. Not long ago, when I requested his ladder, he told me he had lent it to his son. Recalling a saying my grandmother used to repeat, I recited, "You should never lend anything to your kids, because you will never get it back." With that, he responded, "Well, it's not even my ladder. It's my dad's." ____________________________________________________   ____________________________________________________ It looks like somebody tried out the cat bathing trick from yesterday with a teddybear, and sparked a police alert in Leipzig, Germany. Unlike cats, teddybears don't dry themselves off, so this German gent tied a safety rope around the teddybear's neck, and sat him on the window sill of his 10th floor apartment to dry. A gust of wind knocked the window closed and the teddybear off the window sill. A next door neighbor called the police and told them somebody was jumping or falling from that window. Police rescued the suicidal tedyybear. ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Jesus Everado Haros Rodriguez, ARVIN, California, USA  Man arrested for killing girl, 10, in car-to-car shooting in Southern California  An 18-year-old man has been arrested on suspicion of killing a 10-year-old girl in a car-to-car shooting that left her father and brother wounded earlier this summer in Southern California, authorities said. Liliana Jimenez died at the scene of the shooting July 17 in the small city of Arvin, southeast of Bakersfield. Her 29-year-old father and 12-year-old brother suffered gunshot wounds and were hospitalized. Witnesses tried to chase the suspects vehicle, but it sped away. Police and US Marshals arrested Jesus Everado Haros Rodriguez Thursday night in the Kern County community of Lamont, KBAK-TV reported. It wasnt immediately known if he has an attorney. Investigators didnt say what the motive for the shooting was. The suspect is also suspected of multiple assaults, according to Arvin police.  ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________  From: Jona Re: Chipped Dear Webby, It seems funny to me, you refuse the controversial vax, because you have had Covid and didn't think it was any worse than a flu, and like chickenpox, will never get it again, but yet you are chipped for diabetes and carry a live monitor chip on your arm. I am not saying that you shouldn't, it just seems funny to me. How is that chip working out? Jona  Dear Jona Yes, like Sarah Palin said, it is like chickenpox, not like pregnancy. You only get it once, then you got lifetime immunity. You don't get that with the vaccination. Vax does not protect vaccinated people. My chip is working very well. I swipe the monitor near my arm, and it shows me the current glucose reading and a graph with the current trend. That allows me to judge accurately how much insulin I need, which happens to be a lot less than I used to inject before. Naturally, injecting less, and the correct amount, is a lot healthier. For people, who carry an Intelligence prosthesis (Cell Phone), they have a chip that talks to your phone and nags you when you should eat or when you should inject. Now THAT seems funny to me, the chip on your arm talking to your phone, butting into your cybering and nagging you to eat something. Have FUN! DearWebby 
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 An avid golfer was late coming home from his weekly game. As he dragged himself wearily through the door, his worried wife met him. "Honey," she said, "How was your game? Why are you so late?" "Well," he replied, "this had to be the worst, hardest game of my life. Jack died out there on the golf course. Just had a heart attack and then died." "Oh, no!" she cried. "How awful for you! He was your best friend! No wonder you are late....." "Yes, the ordeal really wore me out.," he said, "the whole rest of the game it was hit the ball, drag Jack, hit the ball, drag Jack......" ____________________________________________ A woman decides to have a facelift for her birthday. She spends $5,000.00 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home she stops at a newsstand to buy a paper. Before leaving, she asks the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?". Humoring her, he replies: "About 32" "I'm actually 47," the woman says happily. A little while later she goes into McDonald's and upon getting her order, asks the counter girl the same question. She replies, "I'd guess about 29" The woman replies, "Nope, I am 47." Now she is feeling really good about herself. While waiting for the bus home, she asks an old man the same question. He replies, "I'm 78 and my eyesight is starting to go. Although, when I was young, there was a sure way to tell, but it requires you to let me put my hands up your shirt and feel your boobs. Then I will tell you exactly how old you are." They waited in silence on the empty street and finally curiosity got the best of the woman and she says, "OK, go ahead." The old man slips both hands up her shirt, under her bra, and begins to feel around. After a couple of minutes she says, "Okay, Okay, how old am I?" He removes his hands and says, "You are 47." Stunned the woman says, "That is amazing. How did you know it so exactly?". The old man replies, "I was behind you in line at McDonald's where you told everybody." ______________________________________________ The gigantic computer took up a whole wall, dwarfing the programmer and the mathematician standing before it. After much flashing and humming a sliver of paper emerged from the vitals of the machine. The mathematician, after studying it gravely, turned to the programmer and said with awe, "Do you realize that it would take four hundred ordinary mathematicians a hundred years of calculations..... ....to make a mistake this big?" ______________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 ___________________________________________________  
 Today, Sept 22, in 1792 The French Republic was proclaimed. 1862 U.S. President Lincoln issued the preliminary Emancipation Proclamation. It stated that all slaves held within rebel states would be free as of January 1, 1863. 1903 Italo Marchiony was granted a patent for the ice cream cone. 1914 Three British cruisers were sunk by one German submarine in the North Sea. 1,400 British sailors were killed. This event alerted the British to the effectiveness of the submarine. 1949 The Soviet Union exploded its first atomic bomb successfully. 1955 Commercial television began in Great Britain. The rules said that only six minutes of ads were allowed each hour and there was no Sunday morning TV permitted. 1961 U.S. President John F. Kennedy signed a congressional act that established the Peace Corps. 1964 "The Man From U.N.C.L.E." debuted on NBC-TV. 1966 The U.S. lunar probe Surveyor 2 crashed into the moon. 1980 A border conflict between Iran and Iraq developed into a full-scale war. 1986 U.S. President Ronald Reagan addressed the U.N. General Assembly and voiced a new hope for arms control. He also criticized the Soviet Union for arresting U.S. journalist Nicholas Daniloff. 1988 Canada's government apologized for the internment of Japanese-Canadian's during World War II. They also promised compensation. 1990 Saudi Arabia expelled most of the Yememin and Jordanian envoys in Riyadh. The Saudi accusations were unspecific. 1991 An article in the London newspaper "The Mail" revealed that John Cairncross admitted to being the "fifth man" in the Soviet Union's British spy ring. 1992 The U.N. General Assembly expelled Yugoslavia for its role in the war between Bosnia and Herzegovina. 1994 The U.S. upgraded its military control in Haiti. 1998 The U.S. and Russia signed two agreements. One was to privatize Russia's nuclear program and the other was to stop plutonium stockpiles and nuclear scientists from leaving the country. 1998 U.S. President Clinton addressed the United Nations and told world leaders to "end all nuclear tests for all time". He then sent the long-delayed global test-ban treaty to the U.S. Senate. 2021 Do smiled. 
 
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