Dear Webby's Humor Letter
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Dear Webby's Humor Letter, daily since 1994
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 Good Morning, Do, Today is Monday, April 4 Have FUN! DearWebby 
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Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida Man arrested after he was bitten by his own pit bull while fleeing from officers. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, April 4, in 1581 Francis Drake completed the circumnavigation of the world. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity. --- Robert Heinlein _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for while and then said, "You must have been REALLY wicked to turn ALL of grandma's hairs white!" ______________________________________________________ A couple decided to take their teenage daughter to a shopping mall in a nearby town one weekend. As they were getting ready to go, the girl came downstairs dressed in short shorts and a spaghetti string top. An anticipated fight broke out between her and the husband over her inappropriate attire. In order to keep the peace, the mother stepped in and reminded her husband that when they were young she had dressed the same way, it was the style. He said, "Yeah! Well if you remember right I had something to say about that, too!" "Yes dear," she said, "you did . . . you asked me for my phone number!" ______________________________________________________ >From FB ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Avery Davis, 26, Riviera Beach, Florida Florida Man arrested after he was bitten by his own pit bull while fleeing from officers. As Avery Davis ran from Riviera Beach police officers Monday morning, he released his pit bull and directed the animal to attack the officers, according to authorities. However, the dog apparently had other ideas. Davis pit bull bit him in the buttocks and tried to bite his head before Davis ran and hid in a nearby apartment complex, according to a police arrest report made public Tuesday. The 26-year-old Riviera Beach man eventually was caught in the 1500 block of West 29th Street. He was arrested on two counts of aggravated assault on a law-enforcement officer and one count resisting an officer with violence. He remained in custody Tuesday at the Palm Beach County Jail. The scene reportedly unfolded shortly before 8 a.m. Monday. According to the report, police officers were in the area investigating a reported burglary in the 2300 block of Avenue S. Officers observed Davis, who matched the description of the suspect. He reportedly was carrying hair care products. Officers ordered Davis to lay on the ground. He did so while hugging the dog. Davis reportedly told officers, Yall gonna have to kill us before getting up and running away. An officer fired a stun at Davis, temporarily knocking him back to the ground. Davis reportedly got up and ran again. As officers pursued, Davis released the dog from its leash and yelled, Kill em boy, kill em, while pointing at the officers, the report said. Officers later found Davis hiding under an SUV in an apartment complex on Avenue R. He ran again but was caught on West 29th Street. Davis was treated at St. Marys Medical Center in West Palm Beach and then released into police custody. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: David Re: W7 look and feel for W8 Dear Webby I was given a computer with Windows 8 on it. I thought I remembered a program you recommended to give 8 the look of 7. Do I remember that correctly? If so, where do I find it? At this point do you recommend upgrading to 10? Thanks David L Dear David To get the Classic look and feel get Classic Shell Wait with W10 until about W10.1 or 10.2 Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ One day a co-worker told my friend, Stan, that she was going home early because she didn't feel well. Since Stan was just getting over something himself, he wished her well and said he hoped it wasn't something he had given her. A fellow worker piped up, "I sure hope not. She has morning sickness." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Tip: Getting Rid of Smell on Vintage Coats Take a bunch of newspapaers wad them up and fill the arms of the coat, get one of those dry cleaning garment bags, and put the coat with the newspaper inside of it, adding more newspaper, close it and seal it with tape to make it air tight. Wait about 3-4 days open it up and remove some of the newspaper, the newspaper should smell like the coats. Newspaper absorbs ordors and I have had wonderful luck with it getting out the vintage smell in clothes. You may have to take out the newspaper and refill the coat a couple times but, works wonders. By shelly [4 Posts, 4 Comments] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ When a teenage girl smiles at a boy, he tries to decide what makes him so sexy. When a young lady smiles at a man in his fifties, he turns around to see who's the handsome dude behind him. But when a female of any age smiles at a man of 80, he looks down to see if he's unzipped. ___________________________________________________
Beauty in the Back Yard from TED Talks
____________________________________________________ The doorbell rang and the little girl ran to open the door. In the doorway stood a man with a clipboard. He explained he was from the Census Bureau and wanted to know how many were in the family. Coming over, drying her hands on her apron, the mother said, "Let's see. There's me and my husband, and my children Tracy, Katherine, Amanda, Alfred, Benjamin--" The census taker interrupted, saying, "I'm not interested in the names. The numbers will be enough." The little girl pitched in. "We don't use numbers yet. So far we haven't run out of names, an my brothers always make up new ones for me anyway!" ____________________________________________________ "How did the wedding go?" asked the preacher's wife. "Just fine until I asked the bride if she would obey and she said, 'Do you think I'm nuts?' and the groom said, 'I do,' and then things really began to happen fast." ____________________________________________________
Incredible USA Counties Map Made from Over 3,000 Carved Wooden Blocks
 Today on April 4 1541 Ignatius of Loyola became the first superior-general of the Jesuits. 1581 Francis Drake completed the circumnavigation of the world. 1687 King James II ordered that his declaration of indulgence be read in church. 1850 The city of Los Angeles was incorporated. 1902 British Financier Cecil Rhodes left $10 million in his will that would provide scholarships for Americans to Oxford University in England. 1905 In Kangra, India, an earthquake killed 370,000 people. 1914 The first known serialized moving picture opened in New York City, NY. It was "The Perils of Pauline". 1917 The U.S. Senate voted 90-6 to enter World War I on the Allied side. 1918 The Battle of Somme, an offensive by the British against the German Army ended. 1932 After five years of research, professor C.G. King, of the University of Pittsburgh, isolated vitamin C. 1945 Hungary was liberated from Nazi occupation. 1945 During World War II, U.S. forces liberated the Nazi death camp Ohrdruf in Germany. 1949 Twelve nations signed a treaty to create The North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO). 1967 The U.S. lost its 500th plane over Vietnam. 1967 Johnny Carson quit "The Tonight Show." He returned three weeks later after getting a raise of $30,000 a week. 1968 Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated at the age of 39. 1969 Dr. Denton Cooley implanted the first temporary artificial heart. 1971 Veterans stadium in Philadelphia, PA, was dedicated this day. 1975 More than 130 people, most of them children, were killed when a U.S. Air Force transport plane evacuating Vietnamese orphans crashed just after takeoff from Saigon. 1979 Zulfikar Ali Bhutto, the president of Pakistan, was executed. He had been convicted of conspiring to murder a political opponent. 1981 Henry Cisneros became the first Mexican-American elected mayor of a major U.S. city, which was San Antonio, TX. 1983 At Cape Canaveral, the space shuttle Challenger took off on its first flight. It was the sixth flight for the shuttle program. 1984 U.S. President Reagan proposed an international ban on chemical weapons. 1986 Wayne Gretzky set an NHL record with his 213th point of the season. 1987 The U.S. charged the Soviet Union with wiretapping a U.S. Embassy. 1988 Arizona Governor Evan Mecham was voted out of office by the Arizona Senate. Mecham was found guilty of diverting state funds to his auto business and of trying to impede an investigation into a death threat to a grand jury witness. 1991 Pennsylvanian Senator John Heinz and six others were killed when a helicopter collided with Heinz's plane over a schoolyard in Merion, PA. 1994 Netscape Communications (Mosaic Communications) was founded. 1995 U.S. Senator Alfonse D'Amato ridiculed judge Lance Ito using a mock Japanese accent on a nationally syndicated radio program. D'Amato apologized two days later for the act. 2016 Do smiled.

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