Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, November 19 ___________________________________________________ International Bonehead Award 19-year-old charged with first-degree murder in robbery of man in Baltimore ____________________________________ Today, November 17 in 2007 The Amazon Kindle was first released. _____________________________________________________ Progress isn't made by early risers. It's made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something. --- Robert Heinlein (1907 - 1988) _____________________________________________________ One of my daughter's wedding presents was a toaster oven. Soon after the honeymoon, she and her husband tried it out. Almost immediately, smoke billowed out of the toaster. "Get the owner's manual!" my daughter's husband shouted. "I can't find it anywhere!" "Oops!" came a voice from the kitchen a moment later. "Well, the toast is fine, but the manual is burned to a crisp." _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ One day a young man was visiting the fair. Over to one side was a small tent, with a sign that said "For 50 dollars I'll teach you to be a mind reader! - Apply within." So the young man thought that he'd give it a go, and went inside. Behind a small table inside was an old man, who looked up when the young man entered and says, "Ah, you must be here for the mind reading lessons." "Er, yes," the young man said. "Well, follow me, and I'll give you your first lesson." Then the old man goes out the back of the tent and comes back with a hose. "Here, hold this hose," he said. "Why?" said the young man. "It's part of the lesson," replies the old man, "Now, look in the end and tell me what you see." So the young man looks into the end of the hose, and only sees darkness. "I don't see anything," he tells the old man. Just then the old man turns on a tap, and the hose shoots water into the young man's face. "I just knew you'd do something like that." the young man shouts at the old man. "There. You are now a mind reader!" the old man replies, "That'll be 50 dollars." _________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Stephawn Tate, 19, Baltimore, PA, USA 19-year-old charged with first-degree murder in robbery of man in Baltimore A 19-year-old was arrested in a robbery-turned-killing that took place Friday, according to Baltimore Police said Tuesday. Stephawn Tate, was charged with first-degree murder of an unidentified 27-year-old man. Tate had been arrested in the 100 block of North Poppleton St. the same day the killing took place, according to police. During the incident, police found an unresponsive man suffering from gunshot wounds in West Baltimore. A Western District patrol officer was in the 2400 block of Pennsylvania Ave. when she heard gunfire, according to police. While the officer canvassed the area, she found a man suffering from multiple gunshot wounds to his body in the 1600 block of W. North Ave. in the Penn North neighborhood. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Lilly RE: Keyboard cleaning Dear Webby, My daughter got my keyboard really yucky. What is the best way to clean it, short of pulling the keys off and tossing them into the washing machine? Lilly Dear Lilly Modern keyboards are not hurt by water. Whack it upside down onto some paper on the sidewalk, then vacuum it thoroughly, and whack it again. After that, just take it with you into the shower, sponge it until it looks clean, rinse it, and let it drip dry upside down on the drying rack at your sink. That is all there is to it. Have FUN! DearWebby | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ The old man had died. A wonderful funeral was in progress and the country preacher talked at length of the good traits of the deceased, what an honest man he was, and what a loving husband and kind father he was. Finally, the widow leaned over and whispered to one of her children, "Go up there and take a look in the coffin and see if that's your pa." ____________________________________________ A young camper at summer camp asked the chaplain if "hard on" was hyphenated. The chaplain replies, "What in heaven's name are you writing home about!" The young boy says, "I'm telling Mum and Dad about the project we worked so 'hard on'." ____________________________________________ A passenger jet is taxiing down the runway when it stops abruptly, turns around and returns to the gate. After an hour-long wait, the plane finally pulls out again, rolls down the runway and takes off. A concerned passenger asks the flight attendant, "What was the problem?" "The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," the attendant explains, "and it took us a while to find a deaf pilot." ---------- Sounds like Air Canada ____________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today November 19 in 1794 Britain's King George III signed the Jay Treaty. It resolved the issues left over from the Revolutionary War. 1850 The first life insurance policy for a woman was issued. Carolyn Ingraham, 36 years old, bought the policy in Madison, NJ. 1863 U.S. President Lincoln delivered his Gettysburg Address as he dedicated a national cemetery at the site of the Civil War battlefield in Pennsylvania. 1893 The first newspaper color supplement was published in the Sunday New York World. 1895 The "paper pencil" was patented by Frederick E. Blaisdell. 1919 The U.S. Senate rejected the Treaty of Versailles with a vote of 55 in favor to 39 against. A two-thirds majority was needed for ratification. 1928 "Time" magazine presented its cover in color for the first time. The subject was Japanese Emperor Hirohito. 1942 During World War II, Russian forces launched their winter offensive against the Germans along the Don front. 1954 Two automatic toll collectors were placed in service on the Garden State Parkway in New Jersey. 1959 Ford Motor Co. announced it was ending the production of the unpopular Edsel. 1969 Apollo 12 astronauts Charles Conrad and Alan Bean made man's second landing on the moon. 1970 Hafiz al-Assad seized power in Syria. 1977 Egyptian President Anwar Sadat became the first Arab leader to set foot in Israel on an official visit. 1981 U.S. Steel agreed to pay $6.3 million for Marathon Oil. 1985 U.S. President Reagan and Soviet leader Mikhail S. Gorbachev met for the first time as they began their summit in Geneva. 1990 NATO and the Warsaw Pact signed a treaty of nonaggression. 1993 The U.S. Senate approved a sweeping $22.3 billion anti-crime measure. They made crime illegal. 1994 The U.N. Security Council authorized NATO to bomb rebel Serb forces striking from neighboring Croatia. 1997 In Carlisle, IA, septuplets were born to Bobbi McCaughey. It was only the second known case where all seven were born alive. 1998 The impeachment inquiry of U.S. President Clinton began. 1998 Vincent van Gogh's "Portrait of the Artist Without Beard" sold at auction for more than $71 million. 1999 In Istanbul, Turkey, the Organization for Security and Cooperation in Europe (OSCE) concluded a two-day summit after adopting a new arms accord. During the conference, Russia was criticized for its military campaign against Chechnya's separatist movement. 2001 U.S. President George W. Bush signed the most comprehensive air security bill in U.S. history. 2002 The oil tanker Prestige broke into two pieces and sank off northwest Spain. The tanker lost about 2 million gallons of fuel oil when it ruptured November 13th and was towed about 150 miles out to sea. 2002 The U.S. government completed its takeover of security at 424 airports nationwide. 2003 Eight competing designs for a memorial to the victims of the September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks at the World Trade Center were unveiled. One design would be built at the site of the World Trade Center. 2007 The Amazon Kindle was first released. 2020 Do smiled. |
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