Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, December 9 Thank you, Wendy!! ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________  Today's Bonehead Award: Pregnant woman, unborn child killed in DUI crash in Chandler ____________________________________________________ Today, December 9, in 1992 Britain's Prince Charles and Princess Diana announced their separation. ____________________________________________________ You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can't possibly live long enough to make them all yourself. --- Sam Levenson (1911 - 1980) ____________________________________________________ Howard County Police officers still write their reports by hand, and the data is entered later into their database. One theft report stated that a farmer had lost 2,025 pigs. Thinking that to be an error, the data entry tech called the farmer directly. "Is it true, Mr. Smith that you lost 2,025 pigs?" she asked. "Yeth," lisped the farmer. Being a Howard County girl herself, the tech entered: "Subject lost 2 sows and 25 pigs." ____________________________________________________   ____________________________________________________ During an award ceremony the wife of Spain's ambassador to Washington asked former Sen. George Mitchell if he could make his speech a bit longer, since the ambassador had still not arrived from the airport. Mitchell replied: "I spent years in the U.S. Senate, Madam. I can speak on any subject for any length of time -- usually on a subject about which I have no particular knowledge." ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Roland Enos, 33, Chandler, Arizona, USA  Pregnant woman, unborn child killed in DUI crash in Chandler  A pregnant woman and her unborn child were killed in a crash involving a suspected drunk driver on Dec. 5 in Chandler. Police say Roland Enos, 33, was driving drunk when he rear- ended their car near Arizona Avenue and Ocotillo Road. Court paperwork shows he had a blood alcohol content of .282 which is more than three times the legal limit. The victim, Beatrice Gonzalez, was pronounced dead at the scene. Enos is facing two counts of manslaughter.  ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________  From: Jenny Re: Clean up Gmail Dear Webby My Gmail is complaining that I don't have enough space left. How do I safely clean up my act? Jenny  Dear Jenny Log in to your Gmail inbox. Click on Spam Click the "Select ALL" square at the left top Delete Forever Now click on TRASH Click the "Select ALL" square at the left top Delete Forever Find any message from a sender whose emails you want to remove and right-click on it. Select the Find emails from [sender name] option. Select all found messages. Click the Delete button. Kill all other nuisance mails the same way. Now click on TRASH Click the "Select ALL" square at the left top Delete Forever Depending on how long it has been, since you last cleaned up, you should have gained yourself 5 to 10 GB of space. Have FUN! DearWebby 
 "Eight long years of college." moaned the budding Yuppette. "And just who has it gotten me?" 
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 _____________________________________________  Jim's beautiful wife was having trouble mastering the fine points of balancing the checking account. "The bank returned the check you wrote to the department store," he said. "Good," she replied. "Now I can use it to buy something else." ______________________________________________ Old Classic: President Bush was very curious about how the Jewish people knew everything before he did. So he called the CIA and FBI and asked them to figure it out. A week later they came back and said, "Mr. President, the Jews have something called Shabbat, and they meet each other at the synagogue, and there is a code. They sit, they pray, and there is a word that is the key to this secret: 'Nu?'. When one says to another, 'Nu?', the other tells him everything . . . every bit of news." This Bush wanted to see for himself. The secret service dressed him like a Hassid, and taught him to read from the right to the left of the Siddur (prayer book ). Bush arrived at a synagogue on Shabbat, and sat beside another religious man. He waited for a moment, and said, "Nu?" The man answered, "Shh, Bush is coming!" ______________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 Father: "Son, I'm very worried about you being at the bottom of your class." Son: "Don't fret Dad. They teach the same stuff to both ends." ___________________________________________________  
 Today, December 9, in 1625 The Treaty of the Hague was signed by England and the Netherlands. The agreement was to subsidize Christian IV of Denmark in his campaign in Germany. 1793 "The American Minerva" was published for the first time. It was the first daily newspaper in New York City and was founded by Noah Webster. 1854 Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem, "The Charge of the Light Brigade," was published in England. 1879 Thomas Edison organized the Edison Ore Milling Company. 1884 Levant M. Richardson received a patent for the ball- bearing roller skate. 1892 In London, "Widowers' Houses," George Bernard Shaw's first play, opened at the Royalty Theater. 1907 Christmas Seals went on sale for the first time, in the Wilmington, DE, post office. 1926 The United States Golf Association legalized the use of steel-shafted golf clubs. 1914 The Edison Phonograph Works was destroyed by fire. 1917 Turkish troops surrendered Jerusalem to British troops led by Viscount Allenby. 1940 During World War II, British troops opened their first major offensive in North Africa. 1940 The Longines Watch Company signed for the first FM radio advertising contract with experimental station W2XOR in New York City. 1941 China declared war on Japan, Germany and Italy. 1942 The Aram Khachaturian ballet "Gayane" was first performed by the Kirov Ballet. 1955 Sugar Ray Robinson knocked out Carl Olson and regained his world middleweight boxing title. 1958 In Indianapolis, IN, Robert H.W. Welch Jr. and 11 other men met to form the anti-Communist John Birch Society. 1960 Sperry Rand Corporation unveiled a new computer known as "Univac 1107." 1960 The first episode of "Coronation Street" was screened on ITV. 1962 "Lawrence of Arabia" by David Lean had its world premiere in London. 1965 Nikolai V. Podgorny replaced Anastas I. Mikoyan as president of the Presidium of the Supreme Soviet. 1975 U.S. President Gerald R. Ford signed a $2.3 billion seasonal loan authorization to prevent New York City from having to default. 1978 The first game of the Women's Pro Basketball League (WBL) was played between the Chicago Hustle and the Milwaukee Does. 1983 NATO foreign ministers called on the Soviet Union to join in a "comprehensive political dialogue" to ease tensions in the world. 1985 In Argentina, five former military junta members received sentences in prison for their roles in the "dirty war" in which nearly 9,000 people had "disappeared." 1987 West Bank Palestinians launched an intifada (uprising) against Israeli occupation. 1987 In the Gaza Strip, an Israeli patrol attacked the Jabliya refugee camp. 1990 Lech Walesa won Poland's first direct presidential election in the country's history. 1990 Slobodan Milosovic was elected president in Serbia's first free elections in 50 years. 1990 The first American hostages to be released by Iran began arriving in the U.S. 1991 European Community leaders agreed to begin using a single currency in 1999. 1992 Britain's Prince Charles and Princess Diana announced their separation. 1992 Clair George, former CIA spy chief, was convicted of lying to the U.S. Congress about the Iran-Contra affair. U.S. President George H.W. Bush later pardoned George. 1992 U.S. troops arrived in Mogadishu, Somalia, to oversee delivery of international food aid, in operation 'Restore Hope'. 1993 The U.S. Air Force destroyed the first of 500 Minuteman II missile silos that were marked for elimination under an arms control treaty. 1993 Astronauts aboard the space shuttle Endeavor completed repairs to the Hubble Space Telescope. 1993 At Princeton University in New Jersey, scientists produced a controlled fusion reaction equivalent to 3 million watts. 1994 Representatives of the Irish Republican Army and the British government opened peace talks in Northern Ireland. 1996 UN Secretary General Boutros-Ghali approved a deal allowing Iraq to resume its exports of oil and easing the UN trade embargo imposed on Iraq in 1990. 1999 The U.S. announced that it was expelling a Russian diplomat that had been caught gathering information with an eavesdropping device at the U.S. State Department. 2002 United Airlines filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy after losing $4 billion in the previous two years. It was the sixth largest bankruptcy filing. 2003 In Australia, thieves broke into a home and stole two 300-year-old etchings by Rembrandt. The 4-by-4-inch etchings, a self-portait and a depiction of the artist's mother, were valued around $518,000. 2013 AMR Corporation and US Airways Group completed a merger and was listed on the NASDAQ as American Airlines Group, Inc. 2021 Do smiled. 

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