Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, Oct 3  __________________________________________________ Q The average person thinks he isn't. --- Father Larry Lorenzoni This is the devilish thing about foreign affairs: they are foreign and will not always conform to our whim. --- James Reston (1909 - ) A painting in a museum hears more ridiculous opinions than anything else in the world. --- Edmond de Goncourt (1822 - 1896) (That was long before televised parliament) ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award Five men to face court charged with murder of Liverpool woman Ashley Dale __________________________________________________ If You Can Spare A Coin, Please Hit Paypal With It! ___________________________________________________ History On This Day, Oct 3, in 1990, The Berlin Wall was dismantled eleven months after the borders between East and West Germany were dissolved. The unification of Germany ended 45 years of division. ____________________________________________________ A Wealthy playboy met a beautiful young girl in an exclusive lounge. He took her up to his lavish apartment where he soon discovered she was not a tramp, but was well groomed and apparently very intelligent. Hoping to impress her, he began showing her his collection of expensive paintings, first editions of famous authors and offered he a glass of wine. He asked her if she preferred Port or Sherry and she said, "Oh, Sherry by all means. To me it is the nectar of the gods, Just looking at it in a crystal-clear decanter fills me with a glorious sense of anticipation. When the stopper is removed and the gorgeous liquid is poured into my glass, I inhale the enchanting aroma and I'm lifted on the wings of ecstasy. It seems as though I'm about to drink a magic potion and my whole being begins to glow. The sounds of a thousand violins being softly played fills my ears and I am transported into another world." "Port, on the other hand, makes me fart." __________________________________________________________ A guy was visiting his friend in the hospital who was "all torn up." "What happened?" he asked. "Well, we were hunting the Mumba snake. It has yellow and black stripes. It likes to sun itself lying across a pathway in the jungle. You catch it by grabbing the tip of its tail with one hand and quickly running your other hand up the length of its body so you can grab it behind the neck." "Go on". the friend said. "Well, I stealthily sneaked up to the tail laying across the jungle path, grabbed it by the end and rapidly moved my other hand upward ... just as the procedure goes." "So why are you so beaten up?" the friend asked. "Did you ever *goose* a tiger?" __________________________________________________   __________________________________________________ If You Can Spare A Coin, Please Hit Paypal With It! ___________________________________________________ While working for the U.S. Census, I approached one home where I was greeted by two children. I introduced myself, explained that I was a census taker and asked to see an adult. The older child ran to the door and shouted for the woman of the house. She hollered back, "Who is it?" The youngster yelled, "It's the senseless undertaker." ___________________________________________________ Some newly married friends were visiting us when the topic of children came up. The bride said she wanted three children, while the young husband said two would be enough for him. They discussed this discrepancy for a few minutes until the husband thought he`d put an end to things by saying boldly, "After our second child, I'll just have a vasectomy." Without a moments hesitation, the bride retorted, "Well, I hope you'll love the third one as if it was your own." __________________________________________________   Tanzania lion cubs ____________________________________________________ She looked like such a sweet little old lady, driving the cute Toyota with a bumper sticker that said: "Grow your own dope." How sweet, I thought, must be a medical marijuana patient. Then I noticed the rest of her message... "Plant a man." _____________________________________________________  Dearwebby's Tech Support Pits From: Moe Re: Combo Keys shortcuts Dear Webby, How about a recap of the hidden keys, the combo keys? Moe  Dear Moe Dear Moe Most important combo is CTRL F4 If a site is a nuisance or attacks you, hit CTRL F4 and that tab closes. Some scammers block that combo, in that case hit ALT F4. That shuts down the browser. Go get ssome coffee. By the time you are back, you can usually restart the browser and restore the tabs. Close the tab that had led you into trouble. That brings me to the next combo: CTRL W Once you have identified the tab that led you into trouble, DON'T CLICK IT! Just highlight it and hit CTRL W and it has gone to hell. Also very important is CTRL SHIFT T If your spouse wants you to come to bed NOW and shuts down your browser, and you open it again later, it should ask you if you want to restore your previously open 57 tabs. Well, sometimes it opens multiple browser windows and you close too many of them without clicking RESTORE. Don't worry. They have not gone to hell. Just hit CTRL SHIFT T, twice if necessary, and sit back. It will restore all your tabs. You can also use CTRL SHIFT T to re-open a just closed tab. To get to the URL line, CTRL L To see the history and find that forgotten URL: CTRL H To Refresh a page: Ctrl R In Facebook, the J and the K keys scroll you down or up a page. If the spouse or boss is approaching, hitting the space bar "accidentally" instantly scrolls you down a page. Once the coast is clear, hit SHIFT and Spacebar to jump back up. Bookmark a page: CTRL D I haave no idea why they chose D for that, but that goes back to the good old days of Netscape. Another mystery key is CTRL K. It jumps to the search box If you want to go to the first tab: CTRL 1 Second tab: CTRL 2, and so on. Zoom in without mousing: CTRL +. Zoom OUT: CTRL - add .com to a URL: CTRL ENTER That goes back to the days when .com was the only choice. OK, that is enough for now. Have Fun! Dearwebby ________________________________________________ 1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings." 3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." 4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. 5. And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle. 6. You should not confuse your career with your life. 7. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously. 8. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy. 9. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. 10. Never lick a steak knife. 11. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie. 12. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip. 13. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time. 14. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment. 15. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven. 16. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers. 17. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them. 18. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.) 19. Your friends love you anyway. ___________________________________________________ If You Can Spare A Coin, Please Hit Paypal With It! ___________________________________________________ >From a passenger ship one can see a bearded man on a small island who is shouting and desperately waving his hands. "Who is it?" a passenger asks the captain. "I've no idea. Every year when we pass, he goes nuts." ____________________________________________ A Bonehead Award Has Been Reported By Rock  Ashley Dale Ian Fitzgibbon, 28, St Helens, England  Five men to face court charged with murder of Liverpool woman Ashley Dale  Five men will face Liverpool Crown Court on Monday charged with the shooting murder of 28-year-old Liverpool woman Ashley Dale. Miss Dale was found with a gunshot wound in the back garden of her Old Swan home in Liverpool on August 21 last year. Ian Fitzgibbon, 28, from St Helens, is one of the men charged over her death and has been extradited from Spain after being arrested by the Spanish National Police. Fitzgibbon has also been charged with conspiracy to murder and possession of a prohibited weapon with intent to endanger life. The St Helens man also faces another charge that alleges he was conspiring to obtain a prohibited weapon; a Skorpion submachine gun and the associated ammunition for that weapon. He will face court alongside Niall Barry, 26, of Tuebrook, Sean Zeisz, 28, of Huyton, Joseph Peers, 28, of Roby and James Witham, 41, of Huyton. Kallum Radford, 25, of no fixed address, has been charged with assisting an offender in the wake of Ms Dales death. Miss Dale was found in the back garden of her home on Leinster Road in Old Swan in 2021 and was one of three fatal shootings within one week in Liverpool last year. Police were called to an address in Leinster Road at about 12.40am on August 21 after reports of concern for a woman at the property, who was later identified as Miss Dale. The 28-year-old, an environmental health officer for Knowsley Council, was taken to hospital but died a short time later after succumbing to her injuries. She is not believed to have been the intended target of the killing. The total number of people arrested in connection with Miss Dales death is 15. On her birthday in December last year, her family issued a statement that said: On what would have been Ashleys 29th birthday, her loss is beyond words, the family have been torn apart and life can never be normal again. _____________________________________________________ For those of us getting along in years, here is a little secret for building your arm and shoulder muscles. You might want to adopt this regimen! Three days a week works well. Begin by standing outside behind the house, and with a 5-lb. potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out to your sides and hold them there as long as you can. After a few weeks, move up to 10-lb. potato sacks and then 50-lb. potato sacks, and finally get to where you can lift a 100 lb. potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. Next, start putting a few potatoes in the sacks, but be careful not to overdo it at this level. __________________________________________________ Creation of man During Creation, God created the mule, and told him, "You will be mule, working constantly from dusk to dawn, carrying heavy loads on your back. You will eat grass and lack intelligence. You will live for 50 years." The mule answered, "To live like this for 50 years is too much. Please, give me no more than 20." And it was so. Then God created the dog, and told him, "You will hold vigilance over the dwellings of Man, to whom you will be his greatest companion. You will eat his table scraps and live for 25 years." The dog responded, "Lord, to live 25 years as a dog like that is too much. Please, no more than 10 years." And it was so. God then created the monkey, and told him, "You are monkey. You shall swing from tree to tree, acting like an idiot. You will be funny, and you shall live for 20 years." The monkey responded, "Lord, to live 20 years as the clown of the world is too much. Please, Lord, give me no than 10 years." And it was so. Finally, God created Man and told him, "You are Man, the only rational being that walks the earth. You will use your intelligence to have mastery over the creatures of the world. You will dominate the earth and live for 20 years." The man responded, "Lord, to be Man for only 20 years is too little. Please, Lord, give me the 30 years the mule refused, the 15 years the dog refused, and the 10 years the monkey rejected." And it was so. And so God made Man to live 20 years as a man, then marry and live 30 years like a mule working and carrying heavy loads on his back. Then, he is to have children and live 15 years as a dog, guarding his house and eating the leftovers after they empty the pantry; then, in his old age, to live 10 years as a monkey, acting like an idiot to amuse his grandchildren. And it is so. _________________________________________________ History On Oct 3, In 1863, U.S. President Lincoln declared that the last Thursday of November would be recognized as Thanksgiving Day. 1888, "The Yeomen of the Guard" was performed for the first time. It was the first of 423 shows. 1893, The motor-driven vacuum cleaner was patented by J.S. Thurman. 1901, The Victor Talking Machine Company was incorporated. After a merger with Radio Corporation of America the company became RCA-Victor. 1906, W.T. Grant opened a 25-cent department store. 1922, Rebecca L. Felton became the first female to hold office of U.S. Senator. She was appointed by Governor Thomas W. Hardwick of Georgia to fill a vacancy. 1929, The Kingdom of Serbs, Croats and Slovenes officially changed its name to the Kingdom of Yugoslavia. 1932, Iraq was admitted into the League of Nations leading Britain to terminate their mandate over the nation. Britain had ruled Iraq since taking it from Turkey during World War I. 1935, Italian forces invaded Abyssinia (now Ethiopia). 1941, Adolf Hitler stated in a speech that Russia was "broken" and they "would never rise again." 1942, The Office of Economic Stabilization was established by U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt. He also authorized controls on rents, wages, salaries and farm prices. 1944, During World War II, U.S. troops broke through the Siegfried Line. 1951, CBS-TV aired the first coast-to-coast telecast of a prizefight. Dave Sands defeated Carl Olson at Soldier Field in Chicago. 1952, Britain became the third nuclear power in the world when they successfully detonated their first atomic bomb. The U.S. and Russia were the only other nuclear powers. 1955, "Captain Kangaroo" premiered on CBS-TV. 1962, The Sigma VII blasted off from Cape Canaveral for a nine-hour flight. 1962, The play, "Stop the World, I Want to Get Off!" opened on Broadway. 1981, Irish Nationalists in Maze Prison in Belfast, Northern Ireland called off their hunger strike. The strike had lasted 7 months and ten people had died. 1986, "Tough Guys" was released. It was the first comedy to feature Burt Lancaster and Kirk Douglas. It was, however, their seventh movie together. 1988, The space shuttle Discovery landed safely after its four-day mission. It was the first American shuttle mission since the Challenger disaster. 1989, East Germany suspended unrestricted travel to Czechoslovakia in an effort to slow the flow of refugees to the West. 1989, Art Shell became the first African-American head coach in the modern NFL when he took over the Los Angeles Raiders. 1990, The Berlin Wall was dismantled eleven months after the borders between East and West Germany were dissolved. The unification of Germany ended 45 years of division. 1990, Iraqi President Saddam Hussein made a visit to Kuwait since his country had seized control of the oil-rich nation. 1994, The headquarters of the Haitian pro-army militia was raided by U.S. soldiers. 2001, ESPN began its 10th season of National Hockey League (NHL) coverage. 2003, Ray Horn, of the duo "Siegfried & Roy," was attacked by tiger during a performance. Roy survived the attack after being dragged offstage. The tiger, a 7-year-old male named Montecore, was debuting in his first show. 2006, North Korea announced that it would conduct a nuclear test as a key step in the manufacture of atomic bombs that it viewed as a deterrent against a U.S. attack. A date for the test was not announced. 2023, Do! Smiled. Have Fun Dearwebby 

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