Dear Webby's Humor Letter
widely read, forwarded, copied and imitated daily since 1994
Dear Webby's Humor Letter, daily since 1994
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Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, February 19

1411
Ophelia DingbatterIf you like my work,
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___________________________________________________ History: on this day, February 19, in 2008, Fidel Castro resigned the Cuban presidency. His brother Raul was later named as his successor. ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award: L.A. hater charged on Shootings of 2 Outside LA Synagogues __________________________________________________ Q A motion to adjourn is always in order. --- Robert Heinlein (1907 - 1988) Perpetual devotion to what a man calls his business, is only to be sustained by perpetual neglect of many other things. --- Robert Louis Stevenson (1850 - 1894) ________________________________________________ Thirty-five is a very attractive age. London society is full of women of the very highest birth who have, of their own free choice, remained thirty-five for years. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) __________________________________________________ A gentleman goes to an estate sale and notices that one of the items for sale is a large parrot. He's always wanted a talking bird, so when it comes up for bid he offers $50. The bidding proceeds hot and heavy with someone always bidding ten dollars more than he until the parrot is finally sold to him for $1,500. When he goes to get the bird, he asks the auctioneer, "Can the bird talk?" The auctioneer replied, "Who do you think was bidding against you?" __________________________________________________ _________________________________________________ This following event, reported by our subscriber Sheila has not made it to the official bonehead awards yet, but is definitely a candidate. Thanks to Sheila for telling us first! A trailer park in Semmes, Alabama was broken into. The thieves stole a computer and jewelry from one trailer, TV and stereo from another, and even got away with radios and CD players out of cars. When the cops asked the manager of the park if he was broken into too, he said: "Yeah my office, and they pried my lock open with their drivers license, and left half of it in my door." ________________________________________________ A hillbilly came into town and started walking down the street. His coonskin cap attracted a lot of attention and young folk gathered about him, gaping and giggling. He paid no attention until some smart alec said, "Tell me, do they have many fools back in the hills?" The visitor shrugged, "Well, we come across one every once in a while. But they don't run around in herds, like they do here in town." ____________________________________________________ SnowFairies, Japan ___________________________________________________ Samuel's mother once gave him two sweaters for Chanukah. The next time he visited, he made sure to wear one. As hee entered her home, instead of the expected smile, she said, "What's the matter? The other one you didn't like?" ___________________________________________________ If you have amnesia and experience deja-vue at the same time, does that mean you have forgotten this stuff before? __________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jamie Tran, 28, Los Angeles, California, USA L.A. hater charged on Shootings of 2 Outside LA Synagogues A 28-year-old former Riverside resident suspected of shooting two Jewish men after they left West Los Angeles synagogues less than 24 hours apart was charged Friday with two federal hate crime counts that could put him behind bars for life. Jaime Tran, who was arrested Thursday by Cathedral City police, was charged with committing hate crime acts in connection with the shootings, according to a criminal complaint unsealed Friday. The complaint alleges that Tran targeted the two victims because they were Jewish or he believed them to be Jewish. Because the complaint contains allegations that Tran attempted to murder the two victims, the maximum possible penalty for each of the two hate crimes is life without parole in federal prison. Over the past two days, our community experienced two horrific acts we believe were motivated by antisemitic ideology that caused him to target the Jewish community, said U.S. Attorney Martin Estrada. It is important, especially in one of the most diverse areas in the world, that we celebrate our differences and stand together to oppose acts of hate. Tran appeared in Los Angeles federal court Friday afternoon and was ordered to remain jailed without bail. Magistrate Judge Margo A. Rocconi scheduled his arraignment for March 9. The defendant was motived by antisemitism, Estrada said at a news conference in downtown Los Angeles. Hate crimes have no place in our community. In a Mirandized, recorded interview, Tran acknowledged having intentionally shot the two victims, according to an affidavit filed in support of the criminal complaint and arrest warrant. Tran allegedly told agents that he searched for a kosher market on the social media application Yelp. After locating a kosher market, Tran drove to the market and selected his victims because of their head gear, he said, according to the affidavit. ____________________________________________________ Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married. One broom was, of course, the bride broom and the other the groom broom. The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely. After the wedding at the wedding dinner, the bride broom leaned over and said to the groom broom "I think I am going to have a little whisk broom!!!" "IMPOSSIBLE!!" said the groom broom. " We haven't even swept together!" _____________________________________________________ Mary was having a tough day and had stretched herself out on the couch to do a bit of what she thought to be well- deserved complaining and self-pitying. She moaned to her mom and brother, "Nobody loves me. The whole world hates me!" Her brother, busily occupied playing a game, hardly looked up at her and passed on this encouraging word: "That's not true, Mary. Not everybody hates you. Lots of people don't even know you yet." _________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits from: Russ Re: Save Pictures Dear Webby Thanks for the all the great humor and especially the technical information over the years. Youre still the best. Do you know of some trick or piece of software that would help me save my precious photos but reduce them down in size, halving them would be a good start, smaller even better. These blasted phones are creating larger and larger photos. I have my camera on the smallest setting which is 6MP. This creates photos in the 2-3MB range when a 400K photo would do nicely in most circumstances. Im running out of backup space on my laptop and do not want to jump through any more hoops. I know theres software that will do what I want one at a time but Id like to do it a directory/folder at a time! Help if you can. Thanks for listening. At least Im getting it off my chest. Russ Dear Russ It CAN be done with just Windows alone, but: 1) it is a silly rigamarole 2) sooner or later you will wish you had not done that. The procedure is at https://www.technipages.com/resize-multiple-images-at- once What I would recommend instead is that you get one or more camera chips. For example WISH has 128 GIGAbyte camera chips for $5.78 That is probably a lot bigger than your hard disk. Then just get a zip lock baggie, attach it to the monitor or the wall, and put the chip in there. Of course, any convenient safe storage place will do fine. You can even be a big spender, and get two chips, and put one into your bank deposit box. To load it, stick the chip into a chip slot on the computer or into a $9 chip reader, then use SEARCH EVERYTHING, search for pictures, CTRL A to select all, and drag them to the chip. No need to trash them down to smaller size, or do anything, that you WILL regret. That is a guarantee, if you trash them down, Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Today, February 19 in 1807, Former U.S. Vice President Aaron Burr was arrested in Alabama. He was later tried and acquitted on charges of treason. 1846, The formal transfer of government between Texas and the United States took place. Texas had officially become a state on December 29, 1845. 1856, The tintype camera was patented by Professor Hamilton L. Smith. 1864, The Knights of Pythias was founded in Washington, DC. A dozen members formed what became Lodge No. 1. 1878, Thomas Alva Edison patented a music player (the phonograph). 1881, Kansas became the first state to prohibit all alcoholic beverages. 1942, U.S. President Roosevelt signed an executive order giving the military the authority to relocate and intern Japanese-Americans. 1942, The New York Yankees announced that they would admit 5,000 uniformed servicemen free to each of their home ball games during the coming season. 1942, Approximately 150 Japanese warplanes attacked the Australian city of Darwin. 1945, During World War II, about 30,000 U.S. Marines landed on Iwo Jima. 1949, Bollingen Foundation and Yale University awarded the first Bollingen Prize in poetry ($5,000) to Ezra Pound. 1953, The State of Georgia approved the first literature censorship board in the U.S. Newspapers were excluded from the new legislation. 1959, Cyprus was granted its independence with the signing of an agreement with Britain, Turkey and Greece. 1963, The Soviet Union informed U.S. President Kennedy it would withdraw "several thousand" of its troops in Cuba. 1981, The U.S. State Department call El Savador a "textbook case" of a Communist plot. 1981, Ford Motor Company announced its loss of $1.5 billion. 1985, Mickey Mouse was welcomed to China as part of the 30th anniversary of Disneyland. The touring mouse played 30 cities in 30 days. 1985, William Schroeder became the first artificial-heart patient to leave the confines of the hospital. 1985, Cherry Coke was introduced by the Coca-Cola Company. 1986, The U.S. Senate approved a treaty outlawing genocide. The pact had been submitted 37 years earlier for ratification. 1986, The Soviet Union launched the Mir space station. 1987, A controversial, anti-smoking publice service announcement aired for the first time on television. Yul Brynner filmed the ad shortly before dying of lung cancer. Brynner made it clear in the ad that he would have died from cigarette smoking before ad aired. 1997, Deng Xiaoping of China died at the age of 92. He was the last of China's major revolutionaries. 2002, NASA's Mars Odyssey spacecraft began using its thermal emission imaging system to map Mars. 2004, Former Enron Corp. chief executive Jeffrey Skilling was charged with fraud, insider trading and other crimes in connection with the energy trader's collapse. Skilling was later convicted and sentenced to more than 24 years in prison. 2005, The USS Jimmy Carter was commissioned at Groton, CT. It was the last of the Seawolf class of attack submarines. 2008, Fidel Castro resigned the Cuban presidency. His brother Raul was later named as his successor. 2022 Do smiled. https://www.cloudwards.net/how-to-uninstall-microsoft- edge/
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