Good Morning, Do, Today is Wednesday, July 26 Have Fun! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Florida woman arrested after she tried twice to run over ex-boyfriend  Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 26 in 1907 The Chester was launched. It was the first steam turbine propelled ship. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ 
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 ______________________________________________________ Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies. --- Woody Allen (1935 - ) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ Having passed the enlistment physical, Jon was asked by the doctor, "Why do you want to join the Navy, son?" "My father said it'd be a good idea, sir." "Oh? And what does your father do?" "He's in the Army, sir." _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ >From Cookie: Golf is the perfect thing to do on Sunday because you always end up praying a lot. ______________________________________________________   _____________________________________________________ 
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 ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Sheena Gordon, 32, Fort Lauderdale, Floriduh  Florida woman arrested after she tried twice to run over ex-boyfriend  A Fort Lauderdale woman was arrested Monday, a day after she tried to run over her ex-boyfriend with her vehicle, authorities said. Police said the incident was reported shortly after 1 p.m. Sunday at 2309 NW 20th St. Police said Sheena Gordon, 32, got into a verbal argument with her ex, because she was upset that he had moved in with someone else. Authorities said Gordon tried to strike the 35-year-old man with her car, but the victim was able to avoid being struck. Gordon then reversed her car and attempted to strike the man again with the vehicle, police said. Gordon was arrested Monday after being stopped in her car in the 2700 block of Northwest 13th Street. Records showed that Gordon had active warrants issued from the Fort Lauderdale Police Department for unrelated charges of aggravated battery, burglary and criminal mischief, police said. Gordon faces an additional aggravated assault charge for Sunday's incident.  _________________________________  Tech Support Pits From: Joyce Re: Computer freezes Dear Webby, When I click on a link in any email my computer freezes. Sometimes I can use Ctrl, Shift, Esc and close out my mail and go on. Other times I have to reboot. I'm running W7, use CCleaner, SpyBot and McAfee (all up to date). Thanks for any help. Look forward every day to your Humor Letter. Joyce  Dear Joyce That sounds like you are using Outlook or Outlook Express. Clean out your IN, OUT, SENT and ANSWERED mailboxes, so that there are no more than 10 mails in each, and dump the trash. Everything will work fine after that. Have FUN! DearWebby    Thanks to Dianne for this story: After watching the movie Cinderella, five-year-old Sarah started using her pinwheel as a magic wand, pretending she was a fairy godmother. "Make three wishes," she told her mother, "and I'll grant them." Her mom first asked for world peace. Sarah swung her wand and proclaimed the request fulfilled. Next, her mother requested for a cure for all ill children. Again, with a sweep of the pinwheel, Sarah obliged. The mother, with a glance down at her rather ample curves, made her third wish, "I wish to have a trim figure again." The miniature fairy godmother started waving her wand madly. Finally, totally exhausted she stopped and sighed: "I'll need more power for this!" 
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 Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Removing Gasoline and Diesel Fuel Odors From Clothing  Best Answer 1 cup of Simple Green along with detergent and wash in hot or warm water. I found this recipe for getting gasoline and motor grease out of clothes, and it works! You won't see it at your grocery store. If you don't see it at your industrial or commercial suppliers, check for a supplier at http://simplegreen.com/ or for small quantities at Amazon. I have used it since the mid 80's. Oil and fuel soaked coveralls and gloves come out fresh and clean without any smell. It also works great on greasy and grimy electric motors and even on floors. Have FUN! DearWebby  ____________________________________________________  
  
 
The Ocean Is Way Deeper Than You Think!
 ____________________________________________________  An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart. "Wal-Mart?" the preacher exclaimed. "Why Wal-Mart?" "That way I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week." ___________________________________________________  
 
 What beautiful streets in Germany 
 ___________________________________________________ At the end of his freshman year, Steve couldn't get home for his dad's birthday. So he sent hiom a set of inexpensive cuff links and a note reading: "Dear Dad, This is not much, but it's all you could afford." 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 ____________________________________________________ A Scotsman is visiting a zoo in Edinburgh for the first time. At one cage, he's entranced by what he sees. "An whut animal would that be?" he asks the keeper. "That's a moose from Canada," the zookeeper replies. "A moose?!?" exclaims the Scotsman. "Hoot, mon. They must have rats like elephants over there." 
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 Today, on July 26, in 1775 A postal system was established by the 2nd Continental Congress of the United States. The first Postmaster General was Benjamin Franklin. 1881 Thomas Edison and Patrick Kenny execute a patent application for a facsimile telegraph (U.S. Pat. 479,184). 1893 Commercial production of the Addressograph started in Chicago, IL. 1907 The Chester was launched. It was the first turbine- propelled ship. 1945 Winston Churchill resigned as Britain's prime minister. 1948 U.S. President Truman signed executive orders that prohibited discrimination in the U.S. armed forces and federal employment. 1952 King Farouk I of Egypt abdicated in the wake of a coup led by Gamal Abdel Nasser. 1953 Fidel Castro began his revolt against Fulgencio Batista with an unsuccessful attack on an army barracks in eastern Cuba. Castro eventually ousted Batista six years later. 1956 Egyptian President Gamal Abdel Nasser nationalized the Suez Canal. 1971 Apollo 15 was launched from Cape Kennedy, FL. 1998 AT&T and British Telecommunications PLC announced they were forming a joint venture to combine international operations and develop a new Internet system. 1999 1,500 pieces of Marilyn Monroe's personal items went on display at Christie's in New York, NY. The items went on sale later in 1999. 2017 Do smiled.

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