Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, December 20 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Bonehead Award Detectives discover child porn on suspects computer during PSC data breach investigation ____________________________________________________ Today, December 20, in 2001 The U.S. Congress passed a $20 billion package to finance the war against terrorism taking place in Afghanistan. ____________________________________________________ The chief obstacle to the progress of the human race is the human race. --- Don Marquis (1878 - 1937) ____________________________________________________ If a motorist cuts you off, just turn the other cheek. Nothing gets the message across like a good mooning. ____________________________________________________   River Otter, Calgary ____________________________________________________ One day, while giving my neighbor and her 5 year old daughter a ride to some event downtown, I beeped the horn by mistake. She turned and looked at me as if she was demanding an explanation. I told her, "I did that by accident." She replied, "I know that....'cause you didn't scream 'You &^%$# @#$%&!!!!' after beeping, like mom does when she beeps!" ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Brandon James Diaz, Lakeland, Florida, USA  Detectives discover child porn on suspects computer during PSC data breach investigation  As detectives were investigating a data breach at Polk State College, they discovered the man they arrested was in possession of child pornography showing children as young as infants, they said. Polk County detectives arrested 38-year-old Brandon James Diaz on Thursday. According to Sheriff Grady Judd, he was a registered nurse, employed by Lakeland Regional Health. Through his job, he also worked as a clinical coordinator at PSC. Before becoming a nurse, he was a paramedic and firefighter. The hospital gives random drug screenings, and when Diaz tested positive this year, he was fired. As a result, PSC also removed him from his position at the school, the sheriff said. It's unclear which drug may have been in his system at the time. "This made him exceptionally angry. He was not a happy guy," Sheriff Judd said during a Friday press conference. "Understanding he failed the drug test in 2021what does he do? He decides that two of the instructors over the [PSC] Center for Public Safety were responsible for him losing his job. What does old Einstein here do? He decides to hack computers." "Those instructorshad nothing to do with him testing positive for drugs," he said later on. The sheriff explained that when they reset their passwords, what comes up on the instructors' screen was the phrase, "Ha Ha Ha, loser." PSC notified the sheriff's office and used a technology company in California to track down the IP address which led them to Diaz. "What I have to say to Brandon is, 'Ho Ho Ho, Merry Christmas," Sheriff Judd said. "You got a jail cell for Christmas from us." Officials said no personal information was revealed during the breach, but he had access to scheduling and grades. "While were doing our due diligence, voil, we find child porn. Did you hear what I said? We found child porn," Sheriff Judd explained. "You cant make this up. Hes using his computer, to hack computers while hes got child porn on him. Well, we just happen to be trained detectives, so we obtain another warrant." After, detectives said that led them to file 75 counts of child pornography possession against Diaz. They said the children in the imagery were as "young as infants." "Brandon Diaz is like unbelievably in deep trouble," the sheriff said. "It started with hacking into a computerblaming someone else for his outrageous conduct. If you had just left everybody alone, at least for the time being, youd be home for Christmas with your three children. But hey, you won't be by yourself. Brandon, for Christmas, you'll have 3,000 of your new best friends in the Polk County jail system." "Share with them how you have five brain cells," he continued, "and four of them went to the North Pole to see Santa Claus."  ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________  From: Renate Re: Convert spreadsheets Dear Webby How do I convert old Excel spreadsheets to Libre Calc spreadsheets? Renate  Dear Renate You don't. Just open the Excel files with Libre Calc, do your work, and then save it as either xls or odt. Makes no difference. Have FUN! DearWebby 
 The future father-in-law asked, "Young man, can you support a family?" The surprised groom-to-be replied, "Well, no. I was just planning to support your daughter. The rest of you will have to fend for yourselves." 
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 _____________________________________________  Deciding to eat healthier breakfasts, my brother-in- law declared that oatmeal would now be his cereal of choice. But after eating his first bowl, he told my sister, "I hope I develop a taste for the stuff. It sure goes down rough!" "Well," she asked, "how long did you cook it?" "You're supposed to cook it?" he said. ______________________________________________ During a phone conversation, my nephew mentioned that he was taking a psychology course at university. "Oh, great," I said, "Now you'll be analyzing everyone in the family." "No, no," he replied. "I don't take abnormal psychology until next semester." ______________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 Those of you who have kids know that they do weird things at the wrong time under the wrong circumstances. Take, for instance, a Florida man's 15-month old son who just happened to, by coincidence and accident, dial 911, and who then went off and did what toddlers do best. He began crying. Dispatchers, fearing the worst, sent the police who kicked in the door, and discovered the boy's father, who was wanted on an outstanding warrant. ___________________________________________________  
 Today, December 20, in 1606 The "Susan Constant," "Godspeed" and "Discovery" set sail from London. Their landing at Jamestown, VA, was the start of the first permanent English settlement in America. 1699 Peter the Great ordered that the Russian New Year be changed from September 1 to January 1. 1790 The first successful cotton mill in the United States began operating at Pawtucket, RI. 1803 The United States Senate ratified a treaty that included the Louisiana Territories from France for $15 million. The transfer was completed with formal ceremonies in New Orleans. 1820 The state of Missouri enacted legislation to tax bachelors between the ages of 21-50 for being unmarried. The tax was $1 a year. 1860 South Carolina became the first state to secede from the American Union. 1864 Confederate forces evacuated Savannah, GA as Union Gen. William T. Sherman continued his "March to the Sea." 1879 Thomas A. Edison privately demonstrated his incandescent light at Menlo Park, NJ. 1880 New York's Broadway became known as the "Great White Way" when it was lighted by electricity. 1892 Alexander T. Brown and George Stillman patented the pneumatic tire. 1928 Mail delivery by dog sled began in Lewiston, ME. 1933 The film "Flying Down to Rio" was first shown in New York. 1938 Vladimir Kosma Zworykin patented the iconoscope television system. 1946 In Indochina (Vietnam), full-scale guerrilla warfare between Vietnam partisans and French troops began. 1954 Buick Motor Company signed Jackie Gleason to one of the largest contracts ever entered into with an entertainer. Gleason agreed to produce 78 half-hour shows over a two-year period for $6,142,500. 1962 A world indoor pole-vault record was set by Don Meyers when he cleared 16 feet, 1-1/4 inches. 1963 The Berlin Wall was opened for the first time to West Berliners. It was only for the holiday season. It closed again on January 6, 1964. 1973 The Spanish premier Carrero Blanco was assassinated in Madrid. 1987 More than 3,000 people were killed when the Dona Paz, a Philippine passenger ship, collided with the tanker Vector off Mindoro island, setting off a double explosion. 1989 General Noriega, Panama's former dictator, was overthrown by a United States invasion force invited by the new civilian government. The project was known as Operation Just Cause. 1990 The world's first website and server go live at CERN. The first website was http://info.cern.ch/hypertext/WWW/TheProject.html. 1991 Ante Markovic resigned as federal Prime Minister of Yugoslavia. 1994 Marcelino Corniel, a homeless man, was shot and mortally wounded by White House security officers. He had brandished a knife near the executive mansion. 1995 An American Airlines Boeing 757 en route to Cali, Colombia, crashed into a mountain, killing all but four of the 163 people aboard. 1996 Doctors reported that a Cypriot woman who had taken fertility drugs was carrying about 11 embryos. 1998 In Houston, TX, a 27-year-old woman gave birth to the only known living set of octuplets. 1999 The Vermont Supreme Court ruled that homosexual couples were entitled to the same benefits and protections as wedded couples of the opposite sex. 1999 Sovereignty over the colony of Macao was transferred from Portugal to China. 2001 The U.S. Congress passed a $20 billion package to finance the war against terrorism taking place in Afghanistan. 2001 Argentina's President Fernando De la Rua resigned after two years in power. 2001 The first British peacekeepers arrived in Afghanistan to help the nation heal after decades of war. 2021 Do smiled. 

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