Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, June 7 Have FUN! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Hammer-Wielding Robber Gets Canned (2 cans of baked beans) Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, June 7 in 2000 U.S. Federal Judge Thomas Penfield Jackson ordered the breakup of Microsoft Corporation. Microsoft said "NO!"  More of today in history at HIstory ______________________________________________________ 
 If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
 
  
 ______________________________________________________ Some of the worst mistakes of my life have been haircuts. --- Jim Morrison (1943 - 1971) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ On a whim a man decided to get his wife a dozen roses and surprise her after work. The minute he opened the door, his wife took one look at the flowers in his hand and started screaming, "This is the worst day that I have EVER had! The kids have been terrible. They got in a food fight, the washing machine broke and flooded the basement, I burned dinner, the dog chewed up my best pair of shoes...AND NOW YOU'VE GOT THE NERVE TO COME HOME DRUNK!" _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________   PeregrineFalcon flies at 389 kmh _____________________________________________________ 
 If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  Thanks for your votes!
 _____________________________________________________ Jarhead Math The Korean War, in which the Marine Corps fought and won some of its most brutal battles, was not without its gallows humor. During one such conflict a ROK (Republic of Korea) Commander, whose unit was fighting along with the Marines, called legendary Marine General Chesty Puller, to report a major Chinese attack in his sector. "How many Chinese are attacking you?" asked Puller. "Many, many, many many, many Chinese!" replied the excited Korean Officer. General Puller asked for another count and got the same answer, "Many, many, many, many Chinese!" "Dammit!" swore Puller, "Put my Marine Liaison Officer on the radio." In a minute, an American voice came over the air: "Yes Sir?" "Lieutenant," growled Chesty, "Exactly how many Chinese you got up there?" "General, we got a whole shitload of Chinese up here!" "Thank God!" exclaimed Puller, "At least there's someone up there who knows how to count!" ____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Justin Tyler Stanford, 25 Youngstown, Florida  Hammer-Wielding Robber Gets Canned  A hammer-wielding suspect got nailed, twice, by a veteran Bay County Sheriff's deputy armed with canned goods. Surveillance video of a tense confrontation between Bay County Sheriff's officials and the suspect shows Major Jimmy Stanford throwing two cans at the suspect's head. The suspect, shocked and perhaps dazed, is then surrounded and arrested by Stanford, Chief Joel Heape and Sheriff Tommy Ford. The incident began shortly after 11 a.m. Thursday when 25-year-old Justin Tyler Stanford, of Fountain, crashed his car near the Rainbow Foods store in Youngstown. He then walked into the store with a hammer and threatened to shoot and kill patrons and customers. tanford, no relation to Major Jimmy Stanford, was charged with assault with a deadly weapon on a law enforcement officer and assault. Justin Stanford was taken to the hospital for injuries he sustained while in car crash prior to the hammer incident. He totaled his car near the store. While in the emergency room, the suspect attempted to get a gun from a deputy that was guarding him, deputies wrote in a news release. For that, he was charged with resisting arrest with violence. 
 Tech Support Pits From: Trish RE: .MOV to MP4  Dear Webby, After reading todays letter, I thought of a problem I have. I have videos taken on my camera and they are .MOV How do I change that to .MP4, don t seem to be able to do it on the computer as in save as . Thanks if you can help, Trish in Oz  Dear Trish Try Wondershare I have had it on my machine for decades, though I have never actually used it. I don't remember ever getting any naggers about paying or renewing. Try it. If you don't like it, I'll find you more. Have FUN DearWebby  
 Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. 
 "So tell me, Mrs. Smith," asked the interviewer, "have you any other skills you think may be worth mentioning?" "Actually, yes," said the applicant modestly. "Last year I had two short stories published in national magazines, and I finished my novel." "Very impressive," he commented, "but I was thinking of skills you could apply during office hours." Mrs Smith explained brightly, "Oh, that was during office hours. 
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
 
  
 A boy, frustrated with all the rules he had to follow, asked his father, "Dad, when will I be old enough to do as I please?" The father answered immediately, "I don't know, son. Nobody has lived that long yet." ____________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Ring Around the Collar  My husband gets ring around the collar because he has oily skin. I use liquid dishwashing detergent and smear it on the stains and wash as usual. The oil comes right out. Cheap shampoo also works well. By Misty  Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com  ____________________________________________________   
Amazing insects of the North American Deserts.
 ___________________________________________________ A Missouri farmer passed away and left 17 mules to his three sons. The instructions left in the will said that the oldest boy was to get one-half, the second oldest one-third, and the youngest one-ninth. The three sons, recognizing the difficulty of dividing 17 mules into these fractions, began to argue. Their uncle heard about the argument, hitched up his mule and drove out to settle the matter. He added his mule to the 17, making 18. The oldest therefore got one-half, or nine, the second oldest got one-third, or six, and the youngest son got one-ninth, or two. Adding up 9, 6 and 2 equals 17. The uncle, having settled the argument, hitched up his mule and drove home. ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 "How was your blind date?" a college student asked her 21 year old roommate. "Terrible!" the roommate answered. "He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce." "Wow! That's a very expensive classic car. What's so bad about that?" "He is the original owner." ____________________________________________________  
 Today, June 7 in 1494 Spain and Portugal divided the new lands they had discovered between themselves. 1498 Christopher Columbus left on his third voyage of exploration. 1546 Peace of Ardes ended the war between France and England. 1654 Louis XIV was crowned king of France. 1712 The Pennsylvania Assembly banned the importation of slaves. 1775 The United Colonies changed their name to the United States. 1776 Richard Henry Lee of Virginia proposed to the Continental Congress a resolution calling for a Declaration of Independence. 1863 Mexico City was captured by French troops. 1892 J.F. Palmer patented the cord bicycle tire. 1900 Boxer rebels cut the rail links between Peking and Tientsin in China. 1903 Professor Pierre Curie revealed the discovery of Polonium. 1909 Mary Pickford made her motion picture debut in "The Violin Maker of Cremona." 1929 The sovereign state of Vatican City came into existence as copies of the Lateran Treaty were exchanged in Rome. 1932 Over 7,000 war veterans marched on Washington, DC, demanding their bonuses. 1935 Pierre Laval received emergency powers to save the franc. 1939 King George VI and his wife, Queen Elizabeth, arrived in the U.S. It was the first visit to the U.S. by a reigning British monarch. 1942 The Battle of Midway ended. The sea and air battle lasted 4 days. Japan lost four carriers, a cruiser, and 292 aircraft, and suffered 2,500 casualties. The U.S. lost the Yorktown, the destroyer USS Hammann, 145 aircraft, and suffered 307 casualties. 1942 Japan landed troops on the islands of Attu and Kiska in the Aleutians. The U.S. invaded and recaptured the Alutians one year later. 1944 Off of the coast of Normandy, France, the Susan B. Anthony sank. All 2,689 people aboard survived. 1948 The Communists completed their takeover of Czechoslovakia. 1955 "The $64,000 Question" premiered. 1965 In the U.S., the Gemini 4 mission was completed. The mission featured the first spacewalk by an American. 1968 In Operation Swift Saber, U.S. Marines swept an area 10 miles northwest of Danang in South Vietnam. 1968 Legoland Billund opend in Billund, Denmark. It was the original Legoland park. 1981 Israeli F-16 fighter-bombers destroyed Iraq's only nuclear reactor. 1983 The U.S. ordered Nicaragua to close all six of its consulates and informed 21 Nicaraguan consular officials that they could no longer remain in the U.S. 1994 The United States District Court for the Eastern District of Virginia declared the RMS Titanic, Inc. (RMST) salvor-in-possession of the wreck and the wreck site of the RMS Titanic. 2000 U.S. Federal Judge Thomas Penfield Jackson ordered the breakup of Microsoft Corporation. Microsoft said "NO!" 2018 Do smiled. 
 

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!

ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them
in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog