Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, March 31 ______________________________________________________ Today, March 31 in 1966 The Soviet Union launched Luna 10, which became the first spacecraft to enter a lunar orbit. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
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 Today's Bonehead Award: Child rapist found back in Kansas nine days after he was deported  ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ Cockroaches and socialites are the only things that can stay up all night and eat anything. --- Herb Caen I have such poor vision I can date anybody. --- Garry Shandling (1949 - ) _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ A guy walked into his friend's office, he found him sitting at his desk, looking very depressed. "Hey, what's up with you?", he asks. "Oh, its my wife," replied the man sadly. "She's hired a new secretary for me." "Well, nothing wrong in that. Is she blonde or brunette or a redhead ?" "Neither. Her father is bald." ______________________________________________________   Tufted Coquette Hummingbird _____________________________________________________ 
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 ___________________________________________________    An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Simon Rochel-Cervantes, 46, in a jail in Kansas  Child rapist found back in Kansas nine days after he was deported  A man convicted in the rape of a child under the age 14 and deported in February is back in a Kansas jail. According to the Kansas Department of Corrections, Simon Rochel- Cervantes, 46, a citizen of Mexico, spent 7-years in the Ellsworth Correctional Facility for the rape and aggravated intimidation of a witness. He was released and deported on February 19. On March 5, he was found in Sedgwick County, according to a media release from the United State Attorney. Rochel-Cervantes is charged with unlawfully re-entering the United States after being deported. If convicted, he faces up to two years in federal prison and a fine up to $250,000. Immigration and Customs Enforcement HSI investigated.  
 From: Mike Re: Cellphone cooking  Dear DearWebby Here is one for you. Is this fake or real? http://www.koreus.com/video/telephone-portable-mais-popcorn.html Mike Alice  Dear Mike The behavior of drivers with cell phones aside their heads would definitely prove that cell phones do something to their heads. However, to actually pop popcorn, you would probably have to slightly modify the phones by replacing the omnidirectional antenna with a directional one, and by shorting across the output limiter. I doubt very much that you can pop popcorn with unmodified cell phones. I don't use cell phones, so you will just have to try yourself. Have FUN! DearWebby  
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 My violin teacher was teaching a large group class. She showed them her violin and said, "This violin was made in the early 1800s." Someone in the audience raised their hand and asked, "So, you got it used?" 
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 Thanks to Tina for this story: My son was in the process of bineg potty trained. One summer day, he came in from outside, all wet. I asked, "Did you have an accident?". Yes, he replied. Well, what did you do, water the trees, the bushes,...? "Oh, no," he replied. "I went in the garage." Shocked, I responded, "Well, you shouldn't do that. It will start to stink, draw flies; now I'll have to go out and hose down the garage." My son replied happily, " But Mom, it's OK ! I didn't go in our garage, I went in Jill's garage!!" ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Yard Sales - Setting Up Your Merchandise Set up as many tables as you can and lay items out, grouping like items together. You can make your own tables by using saw horses as legs and old doors or large pieces of plywood as the table top. The best way to display clothing is to hang them. You can create a lot of hanging space by securing a rope between two trees. Thriftyfun.com   ____________________________________________________   
  
I've never seen a jellycake before. They're beautiful! I wonder how they taste? 
 ___________________________________________________ A Stanford research group advertised for participants in a study of obsessive-compulsive disorder. They were looking for therapy clients who had been diagnosed with this disorder. The response was gratifying; they got 3,000 responses about three days after the ad came out. All from the same person. ___________________________________________________ Mary Sue passed away in the middle of the night, so her husband, Bubba, called 911. The operator answering the call said they would be sending someone over right away. "Where do you live?" asked the operator. Bubba answered, "At the end of Eucalyptus Lane." Then the operator asked, "Could you spell that for me?" There was a long pause, until Bubba finally said, "How about if I drag her over to Oak Street and you can pick her up there?" ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 Definition of Outdoor Barbecuing It's the only type of cooking a "real" man will do. When a man volunteers to do such cooking, the following chain of events is put into motion. (1) The woman goes to the store. (2) The woman fixes the salad, vegetables, and dessert. (3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils, and takes it to the man, who is lounging beside the grill, drinking a beer. (4) The man places the meat on the grill. (5) The woman goes inside to set the table and check the vegetables. (6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. (7) The man takes the meat off the grill and hands it to the woman. (8) The woman prepares the plates and brings them to the table. (9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes. (10) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women. ___________________________________________________  
 Today March 31 in 1492 King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella of Spain issued the Alhambra edict expelling Jews who were unwilling to convert to Christianity. 1776 Abigail Adams wrote to her husband John that women were "determined to foment a rebellion" if the new Declaration of Independence failed to guarantee their rights. 1779 Russia and Turkey signed a treaty concerning military action in Crimea. 1831 Quebec and Montreal were incorporated as cities. 1854 The U.S. government signed the Treaty of Kanagawa with Japan. The act opened the ports of Shimoda and Hakotade to American trade. 1862 Skirmishing between Rebels and Union forces took place at Island 10 on the Mississippi River. 1870 In Perth Amboy, NJ, Thomas Munday Peterson became the first black to vote in the U.S. 1880 Wabash, IN, became the first town to be completely illuminated with electric light. 1889 In Paris, the Eiffel Tower officially opened. 1900 The W.E. Roach Company was the first automobile company to put an advertisement in a national magazine. The magazine was the "Saturday Evening Post". 1900 In France, the National Assembly passed a law reducing the workday for women and children to 11 hours. 1901 In Russia, the Czar lashed out at Socialist-Revolutionaries with the arrests of 72 people and the seizing of two printing presses. 1904 In India, hundreds of Tibetans were slaughtered by the British. 1905 Kaiser Wilhelm arrived in Tangier proclaiming to support for an independent state of Morocco. 1906 The Conference on Moroccan Reforms in Algerciras ended after two months with France and Germany in agreement. 1908 250,000 coal miners in Indianapolis, IN, went on strike to await a wage adjustment. 1909 Serbia accepted Austrian control over Bosnia-Herzegovina. 1917 The U.S. purchased and took possession of the Virgin Islands from Denmark for $25 million. 1918 For the first time in the U.S., Daylight Saving Time went into effect. 1921 Great Britain declared a state of emergency because of the thousands of coal miners on strike. 1923 In New York City, the first U.S. dance marathon was held. Alma Cummings set a new world record of 27 hours. 1932 The Ford Motor Co. debuted its V-8 engine. 1933 The U.S. Congress authorized the Civilian Conservation Corps to relieve rampant unemployment. 1939 Britain and France agreed to support Poland if Germany threatened invasion. 1941 Germany began a counter offensive in North Africa. 1945 "The Glass Menagerie" by Tennessee Williams opened on Broadway. 1946 Monarchists won the elections in Greece. 1948 The Soviets in Germany began controlling the Western trains headed toward Berlin. 1949 Winston Churchill declared that the A-bomb was the only thing that kept the U.S.S.R. from taking over Europe. 1949 Newfoundland entered the Canadian confederation as its 10th province. 1960 The South African government declared a state of emergency after demonstrations led to the death of more than 50 Africans. 1966 An estimated 200,000 anti-war demonstrators march in New York City. (New York) 1966 The Soviet Union launched Luna 10, which became the first spacecraft to enter a lunar orbit. 1967 U.S. President Lyndon Johnson signed the Consular Treaty, the first bi-lateral pact with the Soviet Union since the Bolshevik Revolution. 1970 The U.S. forces in Vietnam down a MIG-21, it was the first since September 1968. 1980 U.S. President Carter deregulated the banking industry. 1981 In Bangkok, Thailand, four of five Indonesian terrorists were killed after hijacking an airplane on March 28. 1986 167 people died when a Mexicana Airlines Boeing 727 crashed in Los Angeles. 1989 Canada and France signed a fishing rights pact. 1991 Iraqi forces recaptured the northern city of Kirkuk from Kurdish guerillas. 1994 "Nature" magazine announced that a complete skull of Australppithecus afarensis had been found in Ethiopia. The finding is of humankind's earliest ancestor. 1998 U.N. Security Council imposed arms embargo on Yugoslavia. 1998 For the first time in U.S. history the federal government's detailed financial statement was released. This occurred under the Clinton administration. 1999 Three U.S. soldiers were captured by Yugoslav soldiers three miles from the Yugoslav border in Macedonia. 1999 Fabio was hit in the face by a bird during a promotional ride of a new roller coaster at the Busch Gardens theme park in Williamsburg, VA. Fabio received a one-inch cut across his nose. 2000 In Uganda, officials set the number of deaths linked to a doomsday religious cult, the Movement for the Restoration of the Ten Commandments, at more than 900. In Kanungu, a March 17 fire at the cult's church killed more than 530 and authorities subsequently found mass graves at various sites linked to the cult. 2004 Google Inc. announced that it would be introducing a free e-mail service called Gmail. 2019 Do smiled. 
 

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