Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, October 26 Holy Frap! The Mexican Government just got defeated ____________________________________________________ Today, October 26 in  1967 The Shah of Iran crowned himself and his Queen after 26 years on the Peacock Throne. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
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 Today's Bonehead Award: California teacher arrested for sex with student  _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  _______________________________________________ The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work. --- Richard Bach If you haven't found something strange during the day, it hasn't been much of a day. --- John A. Wheeler Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example. --- Francois de La Rochefoucauld Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everybody agrees that it is old enough to know better. --- Socratex _______________________________________________ A couple moved to the country when they retired. One mild winter, they had a bit of a problem with rodents in the garage. So they bought one of those little sub-sonic mouse repellants, the kind you plug in and they emit some kind of sound that drives off mice. The husband was showing it to their neighbor and explaining that it was an animal repellant. He told her that it worked on every thing from mice to elephants. "Really!?" she said, "Mice to elephants, eh." sounding a bit skeptical. "Yes," he replied, seriously. "We've had it here for a couple of weeks now and we haven't had a single elephant in the garage the whole time!" ________________________________________________`   ____________________________________________________ 
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 ___________________________________________________     An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Elvia Gonzalez, McFarland, California  California teacher arrested for sex with student  A California high school teacher has been detained for allegedly having sex with a student who she sent sexually explicit text to the teen about how she could not 'breathe' without him. Elvia Gonzalez was arrested on October 12 and charged with unlawful sexual intercourse and contacting a minor with the intent to commit a sexual offense. Court documents obtained by KGET state that two students from McFarland High School had their cell phones confiscated by the school on October 11 after appearing under the influence. As school officials conducted their investigation into the two students, a staff member noticed that one of the teens had a text message from 'Elvia.' In the text, 'Elvia' was reportedly asking the teen if he wanted to get breakfast with her. Upon inquiry, the student identified 'Elvia' as Gonzalez and allowed the principal to look through his text messages. The teacher was immediately placed on administrative leave and police were contacted, ABC 15 reports. When questioned by police, the student told authorities that he and the educator began talking at the end of August after she offered to tutor him. The two exchanged phone numbers and quickly developed a relationship, with Gonzalez said to have sent the students pictures of herself in a bra. In text, Gonzalez allegedly told the student 'I can't breathe without you' and 'I'm only yours,' according to court documents. 
 DearWebby's Tech Support Pits  From: Sarah Re: Could not open these pics  Dear Webby, From: Sarah Re: Could not open these pics sarah......@juno.com  Dear Sarah Whenever Juno messes up your email, just browse to http://webby.com/humor and see what everybody else got in their email. Have FUN! DearWebby 
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 >From Bob Everyone knows I'm a stickler for good spelling. So, when an associate e-mailed technical documents asking me to "decifer" them, I had to set him straight. I wrote, "Decipher is spelled with a ph, not an f. In case you've forgotten, spell checker comes free with your soft- ware." A minute later, I got this reply, "Mine must be dephective." 
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 The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot 's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted, 'My Mommy looked back once while she was driving,' he announced triumphantly, 'and she turned into a telephone pole!' ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com font color="#009990"> Use Foil On Ironing Board Put foil under your ironing board cover to help insulate it. The foil will help heat the underside of the item you are pressing.  ____________________________________________________  
  
 
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 ___________________________________________________ You are not happy because you are well. You are well because you are happy. You are not depressed because trouble has come to you, but trouble has come to you because you are depressed. You can change your thoughts and feelings, and then the outer things will come to correspond, and indeed there is no other way of working. --- Emmet Fox ___________________________________________________ George had minor surgery after a bad accident and gets on the bus one afternoon. He looked quite bedraggled and more like he had been in a bar fight than being hit by a cab, and is still a bit groggy from the anesthetic staggers up the aisle, and sits down next to an elderly woman. She looks George up and down and screeches at him: "I've got news for you. You're going straight to hell!" George jumped up out of his seat and shouted: "Hold it, driver. I'm on the wrong bus! I don't wanna go where SHE goes!" ___________________________________________________ It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: "Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may begin ploughing." Twenty minutes later there was another announcement: "The twelve hundred students who went to move 26 cars may now return to class." __________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
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 Today, October 26 in 1825 The Erie Canal opened in upstate New York. The 363-mile canal connected Lake Erie and the Hudson River at a cost of $7,602,000. 1858 H.E. Smith patented the rotary-motion washing machine. 1881 The "Gunfight at the OK Corral" took place in Tombstone, AZ. The fight was between Wyatt Earp, his two brothers and Doc Holiday and the Ike Clanton Gang. 1905 Norway gained independence from Sweden. 1942 The U.S. ship Hornet was sunk in the Battle of Santa Cruz during World War II. 1944 During World War II, the Battle of Leyte Gulf ended. The battle was won by American forces and brought the end of the Pacific phase of World War II into sight. 1949 U.S. President Harry Truman raised the minimum wage from 40 to 75 cents an hour. 1951 Winston Churchill became the prime minister of Great Britain. 1957 The Soviet Union announced that defense minister Marchal Georgi Zhukov had been relieved of his duties. 1958 Pan American Airways flew its first Boeing 707 jetliner from New York City to Paris. 1962 The Soviet Union made an offer to end the Cuban Missile Crisis by taking their missile bases out of Cuba if the U.S. agreed to not invade Cuba and would remove Jupiter missiles in Turkey. 1967 The Shah of Iran crowned himself and his Queen after 26 years on the Peacock Throne. 1975 Anwar Sadat became the first Egyptian president to officially visit to the United States. 1977 The experimental space shuttle Enterprise successfully landed at Edwards Air Force Base in California. 1979 South Korean President Park Chung-hee was shot to death by Kim Jae-kyu, the head of the Korean Central Intelligence Agency. 1980 Israeli President Yitzhak Navon became the first Israeli head of state to visit Egypt. 1984 "Baby Fae" was given the heart of baboon after being born with a severe heart defect. She lived for 21 days with the animal heart. 1985 Approximately 110,000 people marched past the U.S. and Soviet embassies in London to pressure the two countries to end their arms race. 1988 Roussel Uclaf, a French pharmaceutical company, announced it was halting the worldwide distribution of RU-486. The pill is used to induce abortions. The French government made the company reverse itself two days later. 1988 Two whales were freed by Soviet and American icebreakers. The whales had been trapped for nearly 3 weeks in an Arctic ice pack. 1990 The U.S. State Department issued a warning that terrorists could be planning an attack on a passenger ship or aircraft. 1990 Wayne Gretzky became the first NHL player to reach 2,000 points. 1991 Former Washington Mayor Marion Barry arrived at a federal correctional institution in Petersburg, VA, to begin serving a six-month sentence for cocaine possession. 1992 General Motors Corp. Chairman Robert Stempel resigned after the company recorded its highest losses in history. 1992 In Canada, voters rejected the Charlottetown accord, which was designed to unify the country. 1993 Deborah Gore Dean was convicted of 12 felony counts of defrauding the U.S. government and lying to the U.S. Congress. Dean was a central figure in the Reagan-era HUD scandal. 1994 Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin of Israel and Prime Minister Abdel Salam Majali of Jordan signed a peace treaty. 1996 Federal prosecutors cleared Richard Jewell as a suspect in the Olympic park bombing. 1998 A French lab found a nerve agent on an Iraqi missile warhead. 2001 It was announced that Fort Worth's Lockheed Martin won a defense contract for $200 billion over 40 years. The contract, for the "joint strike fighter," was the largest defense contract in history. 2002 Russian authorities pumped a gas into a theater where separatist rebels held over 800 hostages. The gas killed 116 hostages and all 50 hostage-takers were killed by the gas or gunshot wounds. 2019 Do smiled.