Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, Sept 14  ___________________________________________________ Q It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it. --- Steven Wright (1955 - ) This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two. --- George Burns (1896 - 1996) ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award 14-Year-Old Stabbed Teacher In Deerfield Beach ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ History on this day, Sept 14, in 1812. Moscow was set on fire by Russians after Napoleon Bonaparte's troops invaded. One way to stop the looting! ____________________________________________________ "Girl who is wallflower at party, may be a dandelion in bed." I eat wall flowers! (and dandelions!) __________________________________________________   Catholic Elk in Banff, by Michael Joseph Geisler __________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ >From all the Mormon history we have seen during the Olympics we all know that this joke could not happen oday. In 1875 a Danish couple converted to became Mormons and moved to Cache Valley Utah. They set up a farm in Rural Providence, Utah, and were self sufficient for a couple of years. By the third year, the husband decided to take a second wife, as Mormons of the time did. His wife was not too keen on the idea, so he convinced a Swedish neighbor to help in a plan to convince her. "Let us go to the barn, and pray for guidance on this major decision", said the husband. Whatever God tells us, that's what we'll do". They went to the barn, got on their knees, and old farmer Madsen started with the usual openings to Mormon prayers. After a few minutes of this, he posed the question: "heavenly father, should I take another wife?" Farmer Olson was in the rafters, as previously arranged, and in the most booming, deep voice he could muster, said "Brother Madsen, I command thee to take another wife". After a moment, farmer Madsen looked over to his wife, and saw that she was sobbing uncontrollably. He put his arm around her, and said, "There there, a second wife will be an addition to the family, but she will never be a replacement for you. I'll still love you just as much." Mrs. Madsen said "I have no problem with you taking a second wife, I've been resigned to that for a year now. But in my worst nightmare, I NEVER imagined that God was a Swede!" ___________________________________________________ A Texas rancher who depreciated 15 to 20 animals, something only allowed if the animals are used in breeding who, when asked by the IRS agent at an audit, "I presume you breed these animals?" replied that he didn't, giving his CPA a heart attack. But then, after a pregnant pause, continued, "I've got a bull for that." __________________________________________________   Bluebird near Wetaskiwin, Alberta ___________________________________________________ The other day I was in the local auto part store. A lady comes in and asks for a seven ten cap. We all looked at each other and said, "What's a seven ten cap?" She said "You know, it's right on the engine. Mine got lost some how and I need a new one." "What kind of a car is it on," they asked? Now I'm thinking maybe an old Datsun Seven Ten, but no, she said its a Buick. "OK lady, how big is it?" She makes a circle with her hands about 3 1/2 inches in diameter. "What does it do?," we asked. She said, "I don't know, but its always been there." One of us gave her a note pad and asked her if she could draw a picture of it. So she makes a circle about 3 1/2 inches in diameter and in the center she writes 710. The guys behind the counter are looking at it upside down as she writes it, and they just fall down behind the counter laughing so hard in hysterics. One guy said " I think you want an oil cap." She said, "Seven Ten cap, oil cap, I don't care what you call it, I just need one, and I don't see what is so funny about it." ___________________________________________________ How does a Jewish wife cheat on her husband? She has a headache with the kosher butcher. _____________________________________________________  DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Richi Re: Default Browser Dear Webby I go into settings and see this: Microsquish Edge is Default Browser (see here ) I click on Change my default, click on Chrome and close.... no where does it say save changes. Where else can I check my default browser setting is Chrome? Thanks Richie  Dear Richi Just bring up Chrome. CHROME will ask you, if you want to make Chrome the default browser. Hit YES and OK, and Chrome will be the default. Microslop may be sloppy, but Chrome gets around that nicely. So does FireFox. Have FUN! DearWebby ________________________________________________ "I had the strangest dream last night," Morris was telling his psychiatrist. "I saw my mother, but when she turned around to look at me, I noticed that she had your face. As you can imagine, I found this very disturbing. In fact I woke up immediately, and couldn't get back to sleep. I just lay there in bed waiting for morning to come, and then I got up, drank a Coke, and came right over here for my appointment. I thought you could help me explain the meaning of this strange dream." The psychiatrist was silent for a full minute before responding: "A Coke? That a breakfast is?" ___________________________________________________ While working on a lesson in world religions, a kindergarten teacher asked her students to bring something related to their family's faith to class. At the appropriate time she asked the students to come forward and share with the rest of the students. The first child said, "I am Muslim and this is my prayer rug." The second child said, "I am Jewish and this is my Star of David." The third child said, "I am Catholic and this is my rosary." Little Johnny was the final child and he said, "I am Southern Baptist and this is my casserole dish." ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ >From Jonathan Right outside her front door, my mother-in-law had a thermometer that never seemed to tell the correct temperature. One chilly day, we all noticed that the thermometer, which was in direct sunlight, read a balmy 72 degrees. "Mom," my wife suggested without thinking, "you should stick that thing where the sun don't shine." _______________________________________________ A Bonehead award has been reported by Rock  No Name, so as not to discourage similar crimes 14 yr old felon 14, Deerfield Beach, Florida, USA  14-Year-Old Stabbed Teacher In Deerfield Beach  A 14-year-old is in custody after a violent attack on a teacher at Bright Horizons School in Deerfield Beach this morning. A 14 year old boy who attends at Bright Horizons Center in Deerfield Beach has been arrested and is now facing charges, for attempted felony murder. He was taken to the Juvenile Assessment Center for processing. Just to clarify it was school staff members who initially detained the boy, not a school resource officer from the Broward Sheriffs Office. There isnt an assigned officer at that campus. Additionally, the school has since returned to normal status. Broward Sheriffs Office reported earlier that On Tuesday September 12th after 9 a.m. there was a report of a stabbing at Bright Horizons Center in Deerfield Beach received by Broward Regional Communications. Deputies from the Broward Sheriffs Office and Broward Sheriff Fire Rescue promptly responded to the scene. The initial investigation indicates that a male student of age injured a teacher using an object. The school resource officer and other staff members detained the young male suspect on campus while deputies immediately began providing assistance to the victim. The victim was then transported by BSFR to a hospital for treatment of life threatening injuries. Currently security measures are in place at the center with no active threat present. An investigation, into this incident will be conducted by BSOs Threat Management Unit. __________________________________________________ History Today Sept 14, in 1807. Former U.S. Vice President Aaron Burr was acquitted of a misdemeanor charge. Two weeks earlier Burr had been found innocent of treason. 1812. Moscow was set on fire by Russians after Napoleon Bonaparte's troops invaded. One way to stop the looting! 1814. Francis Scott Key wrote the "Star-Spangled Banner," a poem originally known as "Defense of Fort McHenry," after witnessing the British bombardment of Fort McHenry, MD, during the War of 1812. The song became the official U.S. national anthem on March 3, 1931. 1847. U.S. forces took control of Mexico City under the leadership of General Winfield Scott. 1866. George K. Anderson patented the typewriter ribbon. 1899. In New York City, Henry Bliss became the first automobile fatality. 1901. U.S. President William McKinley died of gunshot wounds inflicted by an assassin. Vice President Theodore Roosevelt, at age 42, succeeded him. 1915. Carl G. Muench received a patent for Insulit, the first sound-absorbing material to be used in buildings. 1938. The VS-300 made its first flight. The craft was based on the helicopter technology patented by Igor Sikorsky. 1940. The Selective Service Act was passed by the U.S. Congress providing the first peacetime draft in the United States. 1948. In New York, a groundbreaking ceremony took place at the site of the United Nations' world headquarters. 1959. Luna II, a Soviet space probe, became the first man-made object on the moon when it crashed on the surface. 1960. The Organization of the Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC) was founded. The core members were Iran, Iraq, Kuwait, Saudi Arabia, and Venezuela. 1963. Mary Ann Fischer gave birth to America's first surviving quintuplets. 1972. "The Waltons" premiered on CBS-TV. 1975. Pope Paul VI declared Mother Elizabeth Ann Bayley Seton the first U.S.-born saint. 1978. "Mork & Mindy" premiered on ABC-TV. 1983. The U.S. House of Representatives voted 416-0 in a resolution condemning the Soviet Union for the shooting down of a Korean jet on September 1. 1984. Joe Kittinger became the first person to fly a balloon solo across the Atlantic Ocean. 1987. Tony Magnuson cleared 9.5 feet above the top of the U- ramp and set a new skateboard high jump record. 1989. Joseph T. Wesbecker shot and killed eight people and wounded twelve others at a printing plant in Louisville, KY. Wesbecker, 47 years old, was on disability for mental illness. He took his own life after the incident. 1994. It was announced that the season was over for the National Baseball League on the 34th day of the players strike. The final days of the regular season were canceled. 1998. Israel announced that they had successfully tested its Arrow-2 missile defense system. The system successfully destroyed a simulated target. 1999. Disney World closed down for the first time in its 28- year history. The closure was due to Hurricane Floyd heading for Florida. 1999. It was announced that "US" magazine would change from monthly to weekly and change its name to "USWeekly." 2001. Nintendo released the GameCube home video game console in Japan. 2001. The FBI released the names of the 19 suspected hijackers that had taken part in the September 11 terror attacks on the U.S. 2009. Greyhound UK began operations as an hourly service between London and Portsmouth or Southampton. 2015. In Livingston, LA, and Hanford, WA, the Laser Interferometer Gravitational-wave Observatory (LIGO) detectors detected gravitational waves for the first time. The news was reported on February 11, 2016. 2023, Do smiled. 

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