Good Morning, Do! Thank you, Karen! Thank you, Svend! Thank you, Richard!! Thank you, Richard!! Thank YOU, James!!! Thank you, Clyde !!!! Today is Tuesday, May 18 ____________________________________________________ History: Today, May 15 in 1987, The Bobro 400 set sail from New York Harbor with 3,200 tons of garbage. The barge travelled 6,000 miles in search of a place to dump its load. It returned to New York Harbor after 8 weeks with the same load. ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award: South Carolina deputies kill man in traffic stop shootout _____________________________________________________ Q You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public. --- Scott Adams (1957 - ) Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. --- Socratex ___________________________________________________ Sometimes we just need to remember what the Rules of Life REALLY are. 1. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas. (oops, I read this too late) 2. You need only two tools. WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape. 3. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship "I apologize" and "You are right." 4. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. 5. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm. 6. The only really good advice that your mother ever gave you was, "Go! You might meet somebody!" 7. If he/she says that you are too good for him/her--believe them. 8. Learn to pick your battles; ask yourself, 'Will this matter one year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?' 9. Never pass up an opportunity to pee. 10. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance! 11. Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just might mean that the other person was right about you. 12. Work is good, but it's not that important. 13. And finally... Be really nice to your friends. You never know when you are going to need them to bail you out or empty your bedpan. ______________________________________________________ During a friendly argument, Ron asked his wife why she married him in the first place. "I was just stupid," Laura teased. When he said he was happy to hear that, she was surprised and requested an explanation. "Well, people get divorced all the time because they fall out of love," he said. "But I've never heard of anybody falling out of stupid." ______________________________________________________  Kyle Paulton Mystery bird, Calgary May 13, 2023 __________________________________________________ "Girl who is wallflower at party, may be a dandelion in bed." I eat wall flowers! (and dandelions!) __________________________________________________ Everyone in the hotel was talking about the wedding where the groom was 95 years old and the bride was only 23. The groom looked pretty feeble, and some of the guests thought that the wedding night could kill the old man, because his bride was a healthy and vivacious young woman. But the next morning, everyone was surprised to see the bride come down the main stairway slowly, step by step, and painfully bow-legged. She finally managed to hobble to the front desk. The clerk looked very concerned, and he asked the bride, "What happened to you? You look like you just got done wrestling an alligator." "Oh my God," said the bride. "He told me that he had been saving up for 75 years... ...I thought he meant his money!! And now I found out he blew all his money on the wedding!" ___________________________________________________ From: Richi Re: Default Browser Dear Webby I go into settings and see this: Microsquish Edge is Default Browser (see here ) I click on Change my default, click on Chrome and close.... no where does it say save changes. Where else can I check my default browser setting is Chrome? Thanks Richie Dear Richi Just bring up Chrome. CHROME will ask you, if you want to make Chrome the default browser. Hit YES and OK, and Chrome will be the default. Microslop may be sloppy, but Chrome gets around that nicely. So does FireFox. Have FUN! Dear Webby ___________________________________________________ >From Beth TO CONFIRM HER SUSPICIONS, my sister needed to purchase a pregnancy test. Since I was going to the pharmacy, she asked me to pick one up. I didn't stop to think how I appeared to the clerk when I waddled up nine months pregnant to pay for the kit. "Honey," she said, "I can save you $15 right now. You're definitely going to have a baby." ______________________________________________________ My daughter-in-law Alma and grandson Eddy were digging for fishing bait in my garden. Uncovering a many-legged creature, Eddy proudly dangled it before his mother. "No, honey, he won't do for bait," his mother said. "He's not an earthworm." "He's not?" Eddy asked, his eyes wide. "What planet is he from?" _____________________________________________________ After the church service, a little boy told the pastor, "When I grow up, I'm going to give you some money." "Well, thank you," the pastor replied, "but why?" "Because my daddy says you're the poorest preachers we've ever had." ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by James Rakeem Pierce, 28, Charleston, South Carolina. USA South Carolina deputies kill man in traffic stop shootout Deputies shot and killed a man who opened fire on them during a traffic stop in South Carolina, authorities said. Charleston County Deputy Evan Cubbage was hit three times by gunfire and was treated at a hospital and released, Sheriff Kristin Graziano said at a news conference. Cubbage pulled over a vehicle about 3:45 p.m. Sunday on U.S. Highway 17 near Ravenel, the sheriff said. After briefly talking to the driver and passenger, Cubbage called for backup, and when the second deputy arrived, the passenger started shooting at them, Graziano said. Both deputies fired back and James Rakeem Pierce, 28, was killed, authorities said. He won't do that no mo. Graziano didn't know what prompted the traffic stop. "We were very, very, very lucky today that these two deputies survived this incident," the sheriff said. Cubbage spent about six hours in the hospital before he was released, authorities said. The woman driving the car was detained. The State Law Enforcement Division, which is investigating, has not said whether she will face charges. The traffic stop took place on a rural part of U.S. 17 about 15 miles west of Charleston. ______________________________________________ A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shallt not take the covers off the neighbor's wife." ________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work,Please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it!Please, help me stay online! _____________________________________________  OOOPS! __________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! _________________________________________________  Linda __________________________________________________ A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?" "I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied. "Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered. The daughter bowed her head and said, "Oh Lord, why on earth did I invite all these silly mooches to dinner?" ____________________________________________________ Today, May 16 in 1770, Marie Antoinette, at age 14, married the future King Louis XVI of France, who was 15. 1866, The U.S. Congress authorized the first 5-cent piece to be minted. 1868, U.S. President Andrew Johnson was acquitted during the Senate impeachment, by one vote. 1879, The Treaty of Gandamak between Russia and England set up the Afghan state. 1881, In Germany, the first electric tram for the public started service. 1888, The first demonstration of recording on a flat disc was demonstrated by Emile Berliner. 1888, The capitol of Texas was dedicated in Austin. 1920, Joan of Arc was canonized in Rome. 1939, The Philadelphia Athletics and the Cleveland Indians met at Shibe Park in Philadelphia for the first baseball game to be played under the lights in the American League. 1946, "Annie Get Your Gun" opened on Broadway. 1946, Jack Mullin showed the world the first magnetic tape recorder. 1948, The body of CBS News correspondent George Polk was found in Solonika Bay in Greece. It had been a week after he'd disappeared. 1960, A Big Four summit in Paris collapsed due to the American U-2 spy plane incident. 1960, Theodore Maiman, at Hughes Research Laboratory in California, demonstrated the first working laser. 1963, After 22 Earth orbits Gordon Cooper returned to Earth, ending Project Mercury. 1965, Spaghetti-O's were sold for the first time. 1969, Venus 5, a Russian spacecraft, landed on the planet Venus. 1975, Japanese climber Junko Tabei became the first woman to reach the summit of Mount Everest. 1977, Five people were killed when a New York Airways helicopter, idling on top of the Pan Am Building in Manhattan, toppled over, sending a huge rotor blade flying. 1987, The Bobro 400 set sail from New York Harbor with 3,200 tons of garbage. The barge travelled 6,000 miles in search of a place to dump its load. It returned to New York Harbor after 8 weeks with the same load. 1988, A report released by Surgeon General C. Everett Koop declared that nicotine was addictive in similar was as heroin and cocaine. 1988, The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that police do not have to have a search warrant to search discarded garbage. 1991, Queen Elizabeth II became the first British monarch to address the U.S. Congress. 1992, The Endeavour space shuttle landed safely after its maiden voyage. 1996, Admiral Jeremy "Mike" Boorda, the nation's top Navy officer, died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound after some of his military awards were called into question. 1997, In Zaire, President Mobutu Sese Seko gave control of the country to rebel forces ending 32 years of autocratic rule. 2000, U.S. First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton was nominated to run for U.S. Senator in New York. She was the first U.S. first lady to run for public office. 2005, Sony Corp. unveiled three styles of its new PlayStation 3 video game machine. 2023, Do smiled.
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