Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, June 21 ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award Boca Raton Woman Hid Drug Needle In Her Pussy ___________________________________________________ History on this day, June 21, in 2004, SpaceShipOne, designed by Burt Rutan and piloted by Mike Melvill, reached 328,491 feet above Earth in a 90 minute flight. The height is about 400 feet above the distance scientists consider to be the boundary of space. ___________________________________________________ Meetings are indispensable when you don't want to do anything. --- John Kenneth Galbraith (1908 - 2006) In Mexico we have a word for sushi: Bait. --- Jose Simon An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today. --- Laurence J. Peter (1919 - 1988) Today's scientists have substituted mathematics for experiments, and they wander off through equation after equation, and eventually build a structure which has no relation to reality. --- Nikola Tesla (1857 - 1943) ___________________________________________________ More than anything, Bob wanted to be a cowpoke. Taking pity on him, a rancher decided to hire the lad and give him a chance. "This," he said, showing him a rope, "is a lariat. We use it to catch cows." "I see," said Bob, trying to seem knowledgeable as he examined the lariat. "And what do you use for bait?" "City slickers with shiny shoes." ___________________________________________________ A motorist driving by a Texas ranch hit and killed a calf that was crossing the road. The driver went to the owner of the calf and explained what had happened. He then asked what the animal was worth. "Oh, about $200 today," said the rancher. "But in six years it would have been worth $900. So $900 is what I'm out." The motorist sat down and wrote out a check and handed it to the farmer. "Here," he said, "is the check for $900. It is postdated six years from now." ___________________________________________________ >Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Ariel Dyer, Boca Raton, Florida, USA Boca Raton Woman Hid Drug Needle In Her Pussy Needle Discovered, Between Legs, After Heroin Arrest. BY: STAFF REPORT | BocaNewsNow.com BOCA RATON, FL A Boca Raton woman allegedly used her private area as a storage compartment for a needle to be used for heroin. Palm Springs police say Boca Raton resident Ariel Dyer was acting suspiciously when they were called to the area of 3100 Springdale Blvd. in Palm Springs on June 15th. Once on scene in an apartment complex, they found Ariel Dyer allegedly slumped over the wheel of her Mazda. Once awake, police apparently asked her where she was and she provided incorrect answers. She refused a request from police to search her vehicle. Dyer, according to a police report, continued to act suspiciously, then apparently made a cup with her hands and covered her private part allegedly inserting something into the area. Police wrote this in the report: I asked Dyer if she had drugs on her person, which she stated she had a capped needle tucked inside her female genitalia, which she requested a female officer to assist with removing. (The female officer) began to move Dyers legs further apart and when her legs moved further away from her center body, a small baggy fell from Dyers front side and landed in front of her on the ground. The small baggy appeared to contain a white powdery substance, which through my training and experience appeared to be Heroin. Dyer was transported to the Palm Beach County where another discovery was made: Once in the holding cell, Dyer removed the capped needle from inside her vagina. The needle was collected and entered into evidence. Dyer, according to a police report, continued to act suspiciously, then apparently made a cup with her hands and covered her private part allegedly inserting something into the area. Police wrote this in the report: I asked Dyer if she had drugs on her person, which she stated she had a capped needle tucked inside her female genitalia, which she requested a female officer to assist with removing. (The female officer) began to move Dyers legs further apart and when her legs moved further away from her center body, a small baggy fell from Dyers front side and landed in front of her on the ground. The small baggy appeared to contain a white powdery substance, which through my training and experience appeared to be Heroin. Dyer was transported to the Palm Beach County where another discovery was made: Once in the holding cell, Dyer removed the capped needle from inside her vagina. The needle was collected and entered into evidence. ___________________________________________________ Office Rules 1) If it rings, put it on hold. 2) If it clanks, call the repairman. 3) If it whistles, ignore it. 4) If it's a friend, take a break. 5) If it's the boss, look busy. 6) If it talks, take notes. 7) If it's handwritten, type it. 8) If it's typed, copy it. 9) If it's copied, file it. 10) If it's Friday, forget it! ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, please hit paypal with it! ___________________________________________________ Standing on the shore, a Jewish lady watches her grandson playing in the water. She is thunderstruck when she sees a huge wave crash over him. When it recedes, the boy is no longer there - vanished! Screaming, she holds her hands to the sky and cries, "Lord, how could you? Have I not been a wonderful mother and grandmother? Have I not scrimped and saved so I could tithe to the Temple and contribute to B'nai Brith? Have I not always put others before myself? Have I not always turned my other cheek and loved my neighbors, have I not . . ." A deep, loud voice from the sky interrupts, "Enough already, give me a break!" Immediately another huge wave appears and crashes on the beach. And when it recedes, the boy is standing there, smiling, splashing around as if nothing ever happened. The deep loud voice continues, "I have returned your grandson. Are you satisfied?" And Grandmother says, "He had a hat." ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ >From Len Last summer, I took my wife camping for the first time. At every opportunity, I passed along outdoor-survival lore. One day we got lost hiking in the deep woods. I tried the usual tactics to determine direction - moss on the trees (there was no moss), direction of the sun (it was an overcast day). Just as I was beginning to panic, I spotted a small cabin off in the distance. I pulled out my binoculars, studied the cabin, turned and led us right back to our campsite. "That was terrific," she said. "How did you do it?" "Simple," I replied. "In this part of the country all TV satellite dishes point south." ____________________________________________________ Two older women, Judi and Monika, who were rivals in a social circle met at a party. "My dear," said Monika, "Are those real pearls?" "They are," replied Judi. "Of course the only way I could tell would be for me to bite them," smiled Lady Monika. Judi responded "Yes, but for that you would need to borrow some real teeth." ___________________________________________________ DeaWebby's Tech Support Pits From: John Re: Desktop icon Dear Webbby; Many years past you told us to make icon from url. Will it work on Windows 10.? John Dear John Yes.. Just drag the little padlock in the URL address line onto a convenient space on the desktop. Still works fine. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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________________________________________________ Q. How can you tell the difference between men's real gifts and their guilt gifts? A. Guilt gifts are nicer. __________________________________________ Sandra was out driving her car and while stopped at a red light, the car just died. It was a busy intersection, and the traffic behind her starting growing. The guy in the car directly behind her started honking his horn continuously as Sandra continued to try getting the car to start up again. Finally Sandra gets out of her car and approaches the guy in the car behind her. "I can't seem to get my car started," Sandra said, smiling. "Would you be a sweetheart and go and see if you can get it started for me. I'll stay here in your car and lean on your horn like a demented moron for you." _______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
| Today, June 21, in 1404, Owain Glyndwr established a Welsh Parliament at Machynlleth and was crowned Prince of Wales. 1788, The U.S. Constitution went into effect when New Hampshire became the ninth state to ratify it. 1834, Cyrus McCormick patented the first practical mechanical reaper for farming. His invention allowed farmers to more than double their crop size. 1859, Andrew Lanergan received the first rocket patent. 1893, The Ferris Wheel was introduced at the World's Columbian Exposition in Chicago, IL. 1913, Georgia Broadwick became the first woman to jump from an airplane. 1937, In Paris, Leon Blum's Popular Front Cabinet resigned. 1938, In Washington, U.S. President Roosevelt signed the $3.75 billion Emergency Relief Appropriation Act. 1940, Richard M. Nixon and Thelma Catherine Pat Ryan were married. 1941, German troops entered Russia on a front from the Arctic to Black Sea. 1945, Pan Am announced an 88-hour round-the-world flight at a cost of $700. 1954, The American Cancer Society reported significantly higher death rates among cigarette smokers than among non- smokers. 1958, In Arkansas, a federal judge let Little Rock delay school integration. 1958, Linus Pauling and Detlev Bronke, both Americans, were elected to the Soviet Academy of Science. 1963, France announced that they were withdrawing from the North Atlantic NATO fleet. 1973, The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that states may ban materials found to be obscene according to local standards. 1974, The U.S. Supreme Court decided that pregnant teachers could no longer be forced to take long leaves of absence. 1985, Scientists announced that skeletal remains exhumed in Brazil were those of Nazi war criminal Josef Mengele. 1989, The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that burning the American flag as a form of political protest was protected by the First Amendment. 2001, Former Haitian Army colonel Carl Dorelien taken into custody in Port St. Lucie. Dorelien had been in exile since 1994 when he was sentenced to life in prison for his role in a 1994 massacre. 2003, The fifth Harry Potter book, "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix," was published by J.K. Rowling. Amazon.com shipped out more than one million copies on this day making the day the largest distribution day of a single item in e-commerce history. The book set sales records around the world with an estimated 5 million copies were sold on the first day. 2004, SpaceShipOne, designed by Burt Rutan and piloted by Mike Melvill, reached 328,491 feet above Earth in a 90 minute flight. The height is about 400 feet above the distance scientists consider to be the boundary of space. 2022 Do! smiled. |
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