Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, January 16 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ International Bonehead Award Capitol Invader was a Drug Trafficker out on bail  ___________________________________________________ Today, January 16 in 1992 Officials of the government of El Salvador and rebel leaders signed a pact in Mexico City ending 12 years of civil war. At least 75,000 people were killed during the fighting. _____________________________________________________ The best way to become acquainted with a subject is to write a book about it. --- Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881) It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910), _____________________________________________________ Father O'Malley answers the phone: "Hello, is this Father O'Malley?" "It is" "This is the IRS. Can you help us?" "I can" "Do you know a Ted Houlihan?" "I do" "Is he a member of your congregation?" "He is" "Did he donate $10,000 to the church?" "He will". _____________________________________________________ Thanks to Roland for this one: An elderly man went to his doctor and said, "Doc, I think I'm getting senile. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up." "That's not senility," replied the doctor. "Senility is when you forget to zip down." _____________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________ A honeymooning couple had purchased a talking parrot and taken it to their room, where much to the groom's annoyance, the bird kept up a running commentary on their love-making. Finally the groom threw a large towel over the cage and threatened to give the parrot to the zoo if he didn't shut up. The next morning, packing to return home, the couple couldn't close a large suitcase because of a souvenir bath towel. The groom said, "Darling, you get on top and I'll try." That didn't work. Figuring they needed more weight on the lid, she said, "Sweetheart, you get on top and I'll try." Still no success. Then he said, "Look. Let's both get on top and try." At that point the parrot pulled away the towel with his beak and said, "Zoo or no zoo, this, I gotta see!" __________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  William Wright Watson, 23, Auburn, Alabama, USA  Capitol Invader was a Drug Trafficker out on bail  An Alabama man arrested today for participating in the Capitol insurrection was recently arrested for narcotics trafficking and traveled to Washington, D.C. in violation of his bond conditions in the drug case, court records show. Investigators this afternoon collared William Wright Watson at his apartment in Auburn. Federal criminal charges against the 23-year-old have not yet been unsealed. Watson is seen in numerous news photos taken inside the Capitol during the January 6 invasion. In some images, he is standing next to Jacob Chansley, the so-called QAnon Shaman who has been indicted on six federal charges. Other photos show distinctive tattoos on the back of both of Watsons hands. Upon identifying Watson as one of the persons of interest whose photos have been circulated by law enforcement officials probing the Capitol invasion, investigators determined that Watson has been free on bond on felony drug charges. In July, Auburn police and a county tactical team executed a search warrant on Watsons residence, where they seized 2.2 pounds of marijuana and four grams of LSD. Detectives also located assorted drug paraphernalia, firearms, and United States currency, according to a District Court affidavit. Watson was charged with felony counts of trafficking in marijuana and LSD, and two corresponding counts of possession of a controlled substance. He was freed from the county jail after posting a $103,000 bond, which included a condition barring him from leaving the state without judicial permission. As a result of Watsons unapproved trip north, state prosecutors yesterday filed a motion to revoke his bond, citing images from inside the Capitol showing the accused trafficker dressed in a yellow sweatshirt standing next to a man with a horned hat. A judge subsequently revoked Watsons bond and issued a bench warrant for his arrest, which was executed this afternoon. Even though Biden's staff had promised him a pardon, Alabama is not planning on refunding the bail on the dope charges.  
 DearWebby's Tech Support Pits  From:Vi Re: Dial 90  Hi Dear Webby, I got this forward from a cousin and looked to see if it was on the Hoax list. I didn't see it but thought you might know about it. > I received a telephone call last evening from an individual >identifying himself as an AT&T Service technician who was > conducting a test on telephone lines. He stated that to complete the test I should touch > nine(9), zero(0), > the pound sign (#), and then hang up. .... Vi===  Dear Vi That trick with forwarding the phone works in some areas, but not exactly the same way all across the country. However, REAL phone techs NEVER ask you to do silly stuff like that. They have much easier ways to check your line, without bothering you.. Depending on your mood at the time, there are various ways to respond if somebody asks you to punch ANY numbers on the phone. You could for example tell him that he must have the wrong number because you don't have a phone. While he mulls that over, you quickly browse to the telemarketer song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7w_H6uOX-78 (bookmark that or drag an icon from the browser onto the desktop!) and while you crank up the speakers, hold the phone close to them. You can of course sing along at full volume too. It's quite cheery, especially if you sing a bit off key '-) By the way, all phone companies recommend that if something like that happens, that you immediately afterward dial zero for the operator and tell them all about it. They can trace the last call, and they will send some really big female phone techs over there to tune the crook in to phone company policy. Apparently they get right miffed if some two-bit crook is trying to give them a bad name. Have FUN! DearWebby 
 A young man walked into the insurance office to purchase coverage for his new motorcycle. Only one question confused him. "Do you have a lien holder on the vehicle?" It has a kickstand," he replied. "Is that the same thing?" 
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 A woman went to a computer dating service and said she didn't care about looks, income or background. All she wanted was a man of upright character. Then a man came in and told them the only thing he was seeking in a woman was intelligence. The service matched them together instantly. They both had identical scores on the BS meter. ____________________________________________ A visitor to a college campus paused to admire the new Hemingway Hall. "It's a pleasure to see a building named for Ernest Hemingway." "Actually," said the guide, "it's named for Joshua Hemingway. No relation." "Oh? Was Joshua Hemingway a writer also?" "Yes, indeed. He wrote a check." ____________________________________________ Thanks to Dianne for this story: Husband: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger? Wife: I clean the toilet. Husband: How does that help? Wife: I use your toothbrush. ____________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 ___________________________________________________  
 Today Jan 16 in 1547 Ivan the Terrible was crowned Czar of Russia. 1572 The Duke of Norfolk was tried for treason for complicity in the Ridolfi plot to restore Catholicism in England. He was executed on June 2. 1809 The British defeated the French at the Battle of Corunna, in the Peninsular War. 1866 Everett Barney patented the metal screw, clamp skate. 1896 The first five-player college basketball game was played at Iowa City, IA. 1900 The U.S. Senate consented to the Anglo-German treaty of 1899, by which the U.K. renounced rights to the Samoan islands. 1919 The 18th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, which prohibited the sale or transportation of alcoholic beverages, was ratified. It was later repealed by the 21st Amendment. 1920 Prohibition went into effect in the U.S. 1925 Leon Trotsky was dismissed as Chairman of the Revolutionary Council of the USSR. 1944 General Dwight D. Eisenhower took command of the Allied invasion force in London. 1970 Colonel Muammar el-Quaddafi became virtual president of Libya. 1970 Buckminster Fuller, the designer of the geodesic dome, was awarded the Gold Medal of the American Institute of Architects. 1979 The Shah of Iran and his family fled Iran for Egypt. 1982 Britain and the Vatican resumed full diplomatic relations after a break of over 400 years. 1985 "Playboy" magazine announced its 30-year tradition of stapling centerfold models in the bellybutton and elsewhere would come to an immediate end. 1988 Jimmy "The Greek" Snyder was fired as a CBS sports commentator one day after telling a TV station in Washington, DC, that, during the era of slavery, blacks had been bred to produce stronger offspring. 1998 Researchers announce that an altered gene helped to defend against HIV. 1991 The White House announced the start of Operation Desert Storm. The operation was designed to drive Iraqi forces out of Kuwait. 1992 Officials of the government of El Salvador and rebel leaders signed a pact in Mexico City ending 12 years of civil war. At least 75,000 people were killed during the fighting. 1998 The first woman to enroll at Virginia Military Institute withdrew from the school. 1998 NASA officially announced that John Glenn would fly aboard the space shuttle Discovery in October. 1998 It was announced that Texas would receive $15.3 billion in a tobacco industry settlement. The payouts were planned to take place over 25 years. 1998 Three federal judges secretly granted Kenneth Starr authority to probe whether U.S. President Clinton or Vernon Jordan urged Monica Lewinsky to lie about her relationship with Clinton. 2000 Ricardo Lagos was elected Chile's first socialist president since Salvador Allende. 2002 U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft announced that John Walker Lindh would be brought to the United States to face trial. He was charged in U.S. District Court in Alexandria, VA, with conspiracy to kill U.S. citizens, providing support to terrorist organizations, and engaging in prohibited transactions with the Taliban of Afghanistan. 2002 The U.N. Security Council unanimously adopted sanctions against Osama bin Laden, his terror network and the remnants of the Taliban. The sanctions required that all nations impose arms embargoes and freeze their finances. 2009 The iTunes Music Store reached 500 million applications downloaded. 2021 Do smiled. 
 

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