Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, August 9 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________  Clinton Twp, Michigan, man killed girlfriend, lived with mutilated remains for 7 months  ___________________________________________________ Today, August 9 in 1831 The first steam locomotive began its first trip between Schenectady and Albany, NY. ____________________________________________________ In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable. --- Dwight D. Eisenhower (1890 - 1969) ____________________________________________________ Two writers of modern poetry who had been bitter rivals for years met on a busy street corner. "You know, since we last met, my audience has increased!" the first said. "Congratulations!" the second one said. "How did you do it? By marriage or by adoption? " ------------ Sounds like my subscriber list. I may have to marry a bunch of people to increase the list of subscribers. ____________________________________________________   ____________________________________________________ The new Vicar was up early one Sunday morning, walking round his new parish, after leaving his wife in bed with the Sunday papers, her cup of tea, and a pack of cigarettes. One of the old villagers came up to him and said. "Good morning Vicar, how be you and the wife?" The Vicar said, "Good morning my man, I am fine, the wife is fine also as I left her in bed smoking." The villager said, "Arr, Vicar, that's the way to love 'em!" ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Gerard Lewinski, 37, Clinton, Michigan, USA  Clinton Twp, Michigan, man killed girlfriend, lived with mutilated remains for 7 months  A Clinton Township man has been charged with murdering his girlfriend, mutilating her remains, and then living with her body for at least seven months. The Macomb County Prosecutor's Office announced on Wednesday that Matthew Lewinski of Clinton Township was arrested and charged with multiple crimes including murder and mutilation of a body after he allegedly strangled his girlfriend and kept her corpse in the condo they had shared. According to the prosecutor's office, Lewinski killed his live-in girlfriend, Jerri Winters in December and kept her remains in the basement until his sister discovered her body in late July. The Macomb County Prosecutor's Office said Lewinski and Winters got into an argument in the living room of the Crosswinds Condos in Clinton Township in December of 2020. The prosecutor said Lewinski admitted to strangling her and then dragging her body into the basement of the condo. While her remains were kept in the basement, the prosecutor said Lewinski removed large portions of skin from her back. The prosecutor did not explain why this action was taken. Throughout the winter and spring of 2021, Lewinski lived with the remains in the basement, the prosecutor said. But on July 28, Lewinski's sister discovered Winters' body. She called 911 and Lewinski was arrested. Lewinski was arraigned and on Friday charged with first-degree murder, mutilation of a body, and concealing the death of a person. He's been held without bond. 
 DearWebby's tech support pits From: Denise Re: What is the difference between Ipads and laptops? DearWebby What is the difference between Ipads and laptops? Aside from the weight. I have seen you lug a laptop through Death Valley, so the weight can't be that bad. Deise  Dear Denise You are right. The weight is negligible with today's laptops. The major differences are that an Ipad does not have a keyboard. You will be known as the One-Finger-Typo-Artist, from poking the screen, slowly. Annoyingly slow. Also, an Ipad does not have a user replaceable battery. On a laptop you can slap in a spare battery about as easily as you slap a fresh 25 shot magazine onto your gun. Another major difference is that on a laptop you can do multi- tasking. On an Ipad multitasking is blocked. Memory is limited on iPads, and you can't add more or diferent memory. On a laptop you can add a 2 TeraByte hard drive, and you can stick $6 32 GigaByte memory chips from your camera into the side, for transferring pictures or to use for back- up. Also, installing new programs is totally unlimited on a laptop, but on Ipads is limited to what Apple has in store. Ipads are a little bit cheaper than laptops, and when small size and light weight are of prime importance, then an Ipad is of course better. Keep in mind that many of todays cell phones can do a lot of what an Ipad can do, and most of them have USB ports to plug regular keyboards in. Have FUN! DearWebby 
 Wife: "I'm happy to see that the neighbors finally returned our lawn mower before they moved. They certainly had it long enough." Husband: "*Our* lawn mower? I just bought it at the garage sale they're having." 
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 One day little Johnny was in his back yard digging a hole. His neighbor, seeing him there, decided to investigate. "Whatcha doin?" he asked. "My budgie bird died and I'm burying him," Johnny replied. "That's an awful big hole for a little bird, ain't it?" asked the neighbor. "That's because he's inside your stupid cat!" ____________________________________________ Linda was with her mother while her older sister was being examined by a dentist. Linda kept herself busy playing with toys in the waiting room until she noticed that her mom was resting, her eyes closed. With about six other patients waiting, Linda marched up to her mother, looked her straight in the face and shook her shoulder. "Mommy," she yelled, "wake up! This is not church!" ____________________________________________ Bill decided to try his hand at a new job and secured one as a used car salesman. He had no experience in this field but he figured he could use the old sales pitch that the car was *like brand-new" and "had only been driven by a little old lady on Sundays." He tried that approach on every prospective buyer but none seemed to believe him and no sales were made that day. The following day he decided to change his sales pitch and sure enough he sold three cars. The manager of the used car dealership called him over and asked what he had done to bring about all these sales. Bill grinned, Well, they didn't believe my little old lady story, so I told them that the car had previously been owned by a nymphomaniac who only used the backseat!" --------- Believe it or not, but when I came to this continent 51 years ago, I was so naive that I fell for that "little old lady who only drove it on Sundays" story. Yeah, right. And on Friday and Saturday, at the race track. It turned out to be an awesome vehicle though, after I put new rings and valves into the engine. ______________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 ___________________________________________________  
 Today, August 9, in 1790 The Columbia returned to Boston Harbor after a three-year voyage. It was the first ship to carry the American flag around the world. 1831 The first steam locomotive began its first trip between Schenectady and Albany, NY. 1848 Martin Van Buren was nominated for president by the Free- Soil Party in Buffalo, NY. 1854 "Walden" was published by Henry David Thoreau. 1859 The escalator was patented by Nathan Ames. 1892 Thomas Edison received a patent for a two-way telegraph. 1893 "Gut Holz" was published. It was America's first bowling magazine. 1910 A.J. Fisher received a patent for the electric washing machine. 1930 Betty Boop had her beginning in "Dizzy Dishes" created by Max Fleischer. 1936 Jesse Owens won his fourth gold medal at the Berlin Olympics. He was the first American to win four medals in one Olympics. 1942 Mohandas K. Gandhi was arrested Britain. He was not released until 1944. 1944 The Forest Service and Wartime Advertising Council created "Smokey the Bear." 1945 The U.S. dropped an atomic bomb on Nagasaki. The bombing came three days after the bombing of Hiroshima. About 74,000 people were killed. Japan surrendered August 14. 1945 The first network television broadcast occurred in Washington, DC. The program announced the bombing of Nagasaki, Japan. 1965 Singapore proclaimed its independence from the Malaysian Federation. 1973 The U.S. Senate committee investigating the Watergate affair filed suit against President Richard Nixon. 1974 U.S. President Richard Nixon formally resigned. Gerald R. Ford took his place, and became the 38th president of the U.S. 1975 The New Orleans Superdome was officially opened when the Saints played the Houston Oilers in exhibition football. The new Superdome cost $163 million to build. 1985 Arthur J. Walker, a retired Navy officer, was found guilty of seven counts of spying for the Soviet Union. 1988 Wayne Gretzky (Edmonton Oilers) was traded. The trade was at Gretzky's request. He was sent to the Los Angeles Kings. 1996 Boris Yeltsin was sworn in as president of Russia for the second time. 1999 Russian President Boris Yeltsin fired Prime Minister Sergei Stepashin and his entire cabinet for the fourth time in 17 months. 2001 U.S. President George W. Bush announced he would support federal funding for limited medical research on embryonic stem cells. 2021 Do smiled. 
 
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