Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, February 21 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!  ___________________________________________________ Today, February 21 in 1804 The first self-propelled locomotive on rails was demonstrated in Wales. ______________________________________________________ A lie told often enough becomes the truth. --- Lenin (1870 - 1924) --- Nancy Pelosi (1940 - ) ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |  |
Today's Bonehead Award: Woman, 36, Busted For Calling 911 To Complain Parents Shut Off Her Cellphone Service __________________________________________ A real smooth talker who prided himself on being the ladies man finally met his match one night. The smooth talker had just learned that his father only had days to live and that he would inherit over ten million dollars. Overjoyed at the promised wealth, he celebrated at the local bar, where he just happened to see a drop dead gorgeous busty, long legged blonde. Of course, he couldn't wait to work his charms on her and indeed she was so interested in him, they went back to his house together. The next day she became his stepmother. __________________________________________ Thanks to Jean for sending me this picture:  __________________________________________ Many years ago, my father was visiting America from Europe, for the very first time. He said he wanted to go with me to the supermarket, so I invited him along. As he went up & down the aisles with me, at the local Giant Food Store, he constantly asked me questions about products he saw. "Vas dis?? Powdered orange juice??" asked my dad . said, "Yeah, Dad. You just add a little water, and you have fresh orange juice." A few minutes later, in a different aisle, dad blurted out, "Und vas dis?? Powdered milk?" . I said, "Yeah, Dad. You just add a little water, and you have fresh milk!" A few minutes later, in a different aisle, my dad yelled out, "Und give a look here!! Baby Powder!! Vat a country, vat a country!" ___________________________________________________  An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Woman, 36, Busted For Calling 911 To Complain Parents Shut Off Her Cellphone Service Seloni Khetarpal, 36, Canton, Ohio A 36-year-old Ohio woman who called 911 to complain that her parents had shut off her cellphone service is facing a felony charge, records show. Seloni Khetarpal was arrested Thursday for disrupting public services after twice dialing the police emergency line and asking for cops to be dispatched to her familys spacious Canton residence, which abuts the 18th hole at the Glenmoor Country Club. According to a criminal complaint, Khetarpal called 911 demanding that cops come to her home since her parents had disconnected her cell service. An operator advised Khetarpal, seen above, to only call for police assistance for legitimate purposes. Despite the warning, a "belligerent" Khetarpal called 911 two hours later to again report her cell phone woes (which she thought should be of concern to law enforcement). Khetarpal was subsequently arrested and booked into the Stark County jail, from which she was released on $2500 bond. Khetarpal, who is a licensed real estate salesperson, is scheduled for a February 27 preliminary hearing in Massillon Municipal Court. The court filing does not reveal why Khetarpals parents- -dad is a gastroenterologist, mom is a pediatric dentist- -cut off their daughter's phone. Since she was able to call 911, it sounds like they took her charger away. You can still call 911 when the phone battery seems empty. It hides enough of a charge to call 911. She will probably get 3 months in jail and probation. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Evana Re: Difference between W7 and W10 Dear Webby What is the real difference between W7 and W10? My W7 works just fine, and I don't see any reason for shelling out big bucks to get a W10 machine. Evana Dear Evana I feel the same way. W10 needs a lot more RAM to run as fast as a W7 machine. If you put W10 onto a W7 machine, it will be awfully slow, and browsers will bung up a lot. NOT a good solution.5 Thought for the Day: The Bible teaches to love your neighbor, and Kama-Sutra explains how. Microsoft-DELL-ACER-HP want you to go buy a brand new W10 machine and refill Bill's bank account. He might run for president in 2024 and needs a few extra Billions for that. As far as the functions of the different machines are concerned, there is no difference. They both do exactly the same, but the W7 machine will do it faster, unless you have overloaded it with Microsoft updates and bug fixes. According to Microsoft, W10 is safer. However, if you have MalwareBytes or McAfee installed, and continue to use reasonable common sense, your W7 machine is quite Have FUN! DearWebby
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____________________________________________________  | Animals are not stupid! |
_____________________________________________ The detective was leafing through the suspect's crime history folder. "Hmmm, quite a record." he said. "Shoplifting, hit-and- run, disorderly conduct, armed robbery, sexual assault, sexual assault, rape, manslaughter..." "Yeah, I know." said the prisoner. "It took me quite a while to figure out what I was good at." _____________________________________________ When the family car develops a slight knock, a father asks his son if he had bought high-octane or regular gas the last time he took the car out, but the boy can't remember. "You probably got the cheaper gas," his father says. "That could account for the engine running so rough." "No, the gas wasn't cheaper," the boy says. "Well, how much did it cost?" "It cost the same as always," says his son. "I put in the usual 10 dollars worth." ____________________________________________ A little Yugo car smashed into the rear of a Jaguar as he made a left turn. The driver of the little car was furious. "Why didn't you put out your hand?" he demanded. "What's the point?" shrugged the driver of a Jaguar. "If you couldn't see my Jaguar, how could you see my hand?" ____________________________________________  No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ Today February 21 in 1804 The first self-propelled locomotive on rails was demonstrated in Wales. 1842 John J. Greenough patented the sewing machine. 1848 The Communist Manifesto was published by Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels. 1858 The first electric burglar alarm was installed in Boston, MA. 1878 The first telephone directories issued in the U.S. were distributed to residents in New Haven, CT. It was a single page of only fifty names. 1916 During World War I, the Battle of Verdun began in France. The battle ended on December 18, 1916 with a French victory over Germany. 1932 William N. Goodwin patented the camera exposure meter. 1947 Edwin Land demonstrated the Polaroid Land Camera to the Optical Society of America in New York City. It was the first camera to take, develop and print a picture on photo paper all in about 60 seconds. The photos were black and white. The camera went on sale the following year. 1965 Malcolm X was assassinated in New York City at the age of 39 by assassins identified as Black Muslims. 1973 Israeli fighter planes shot down a Libyan Airlines jet over the Sinai Desert. More than 100 people were killed. 1975 Former U.S. Attorney General John N. Mitchell and former White House aides H.R. Haldeman and John D. Ehrlichman were sentenced to 2 1/2 to 8 years in prison for their roles in the Watergate cover-up. 1988 In Baton Rouge, LA, TV evangelist Jimmy Swaggart confessed to his congregation that he was guilty of an unspecified sin. He announced that he was leaving the pulpit temporarily. Swaggart had been linked to an admitted prostitute. 1989 U.S. President George H.W. Bush called Ayatollah Khomeini's death warrant against "Satanic Verses" author Salman Rushdie "deeply offensive to the norms of civilized behavior." 1995 Chicago stockbroker Steve Fossett became the first person to fly solo across the Pacific Ocean in a balloon. He landed in Leader, Saskatchewan, Canada. 2003 David Hasselhoff and his wife Pamela were injured in a motorcycle accident. The accident was caused by a strong gust of wind. Hasselhoff fractured his lower back and broke several ribs. His wife fractured her left ankle and right wrist. 2019 At Cape Canaveral, FL, SpaceIL launched their Beresheet proble. It was the first privately funded mission to the Moon. The probe crash-landed on the Moon on April 11. 2020 Do smiled. |
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