Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, June 27 _____________________________________________________ Today, June 27 in 1954 The world's first atomic power station opened at Obninsk, near Moscow. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Fla. woman's husband arrested for domestic violence, she's arrested next day for stealing his guns. ! ! ! ! _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! _______________________________________________ The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced. --- Frank Zappa (1940 - 1993) Of those who say nothing, few are silent. --- Thomas Neill Thou shall't not weigh more than Thy refrigerator, and Thy butt shall not be wider than Thy barbecue! --- Socratex _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ >From Ann As the coals from our barbecue burned down, our hosts passed out marshmallows and long roasting forks. Just then, two fire trucks roared by, sirens blaring, lights flashing. They stopped at a house right down the block. All twelve of us raced out of the back yard, down the street, where we found the owners of the blazing house standing by helplessly. They glared at us with looks of disgust. Suddenly, we realized why...we were all still holding our roasting forks with marshmallows on them... ______________________________________________________` hey, Ma'am!!! _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Courtney Irby, 32, Joseph Irby, Lakeland, Floriduh Fla. woman's husband arrested for domestic violence, she's arrested next day for stealing his guns. The 32-year-old Florida woman was arrested after she turned in her husband's various firearms to police. Irby was charged with armed burglary of a dwelling and grand theft of a firearm after she brought the various firearms to the Lakeland Police Department. The guns belonged to Irby's estranged husband, Joseph, who had been arrested the previous day for domestic violence. Police say Mrs. Irby admitted to breaking into her estranged husband's apartment and collecting his guns. I did not even know where the guns were located. I had to search around the apartment for them, so I could bring them to you, she reportedly told police. The officer speaking to Mrs. Irby responded, So, are you telling me you committed an armed burglary? Mrs. Irby replied by saying yes, but adding that she was concerned for her safety and she believed that her husband would never turn the firearms in. Mr. Irby was informed of his wife's actions by phone while he was at the Polk County Jail due to the domestic violence incident. He informed police that he wanted to press charges against his wife. The arrest affidavit reveals that Courtney and Joseph Irby finished a divorce hearing on June 14 and that's when they got into a bit of a tussle. Mr. Irby allegedly rear-ended his wife's car in an attempt to run her off of the road. His wife was on the phone with police while her husband rear-ended her. Though Mrs. Irby very clearly committed a crime by breaking into her husband's apartment and stealing his guns, some have stepped forward to say she should not be prosecuted with a crime since her actions were motivated by fear. Ms. Irby should NOT be prosecuted for protecting herself and her family. @LakelandPD never should have arrested her, and we as a state must do better in preventing DV and keeping guns out of the hands of domestic abusers, Rep. Anna Eskamani (D-FL) wrote on Twitter about the situation. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Erin Re:Disable Caps Lock Dear Webby Is there a way to disable the Caps Lock key, that does not require me to remember some weird key combination or program name? I got Oldtimer's and can't remember silly stuff like that, especially when I don't even remember the last time I needed to turn the Caps Lock on. Thanks Erin Dear Erin Yes, theoretically, there is probably some silly way to disable it, however, whenever I get a new keyboard, I take a screwdriver or tea spoon, and pry the silly Caps Lock key cap off. Then I trim the underside of it flush, so that the little center part doesn't stick out farther than the rim of the key cap, and fill the underside flush with epoxy. When that has hardened, I glue it onto a fax machine or onto the coin operated copier at Walmart. If an occasion ever arises, when I would need the Caps Lock key, I can esily activate it with a pen. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, "If it weren't for my money, the house wouldn't be here!" His wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money, I wouldn't be here." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
A husband said to his wife, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Sliding Furniture This is a tip for sliding furniture across floors that you don't wish to damage. Save cardboard milk cartons and cut the top of off four of them. Then slip a milk carton bottom under each leg of the furniture. thriftyfun.Com ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned, but then smiled, "Wow! It really works!" ___________________________________________________ This just in from Louisiana: Associated Press, New Orleans, LA Latest news reports advise that a cell of 4 terrorists have been operating in New Orleans, Louisiana Police advised earlier today that 3 of the 4 had been detained. The Police Commissioner stated that the terrorists Bin Sleepin, Bin Drinkin and Bin Fightin have been arrested on immigration issues. The Police advise further that they can find no one fitting the description of the fourth cell member, Bin Workin, in the area. Police are confident that anyone who looks like Workin will be very easy to spot in the community. ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
Two women were in a restaurant and ordered fish. The waiter brought dish with two fish, one larger than the other. One of the women said to the other, "Please help yourself." The other one said "Okay", and helped herself to the larger fish. After a tense silence, the first one said, "really, now, if you had offered me the first choice, I would have taken the smaller fish!" The other one replied, "What are you complaining about? You do have have the smaller one, don't you...?" ___________________________________________________ | Today, June 27 in 0363 The death of Roman Emperor Julian brought an end to the Pagan Revival. 1693 "The Ladies' Mercury" was published by John Dunton in London. It was the first women's magazine and contained a "question and answer" column that became known as a "problem page." 1743 King George II of England defeated the French at Dettingen, Bavaria, in the War of the Austrian Succession. 1787 Edward Gibbon completed "The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire." It was published the following May. 1801 British forces defeated the French and took control of Cairo, Egypt. 1847 New York and Boston were linked by telegraph wires. 1871 The yen became the new form of currency in Japan. 1885 Chichester Bell and Charles S. Tainter applied for a patent for the gramophone. It was granted on May 4, 1886. 1893 The New York stock market crashed. By the end of the year 600 banks and 74 railroads had gone out of business. 1905 The battleship Potemkin succumbed to a mutiny on the Black Sea. 1918 Two German pilots were saved by parachutes for the first time. 1923 Yugoslav Premier Nikola Pachitch was wounded by Serb attackers in Belgrade. 1927 The U.S. Marines adopted the English bulldog as their mascot. 1929 Scientists at Bell Laboratories in New York revealed a system for transmitting television pictures. 1931 Igor Sikorsky filed U.S. Patent 1,994,488, which was a significant improvement in helicopter technology. 1940 Robert Pershing Wadlow was measured by Dr. Cyril MacBryde and Dr. C. M. Charles. They recorded his height at 8' 11.1." He was only 22 at the time of his death on July 15, 1940. 1942 The FBI announced the capture of eight Nazi saboteurs who had been put ashore from a submarine on New York's Long Island. 1944 During World War II, American forces completed their capture of the French port of Cherbourg from the German army. 1949 "Captain Video and His Video Rangers" premiered on the Dumont Television Network. 1950 Two days after North Korea invaded South Korea, U.S. President Truman ordered the Air Force and Navy into the Korean conflict. The United Nations Security Council had asked for member nations to help South Korea repel an invasion from the North. 1954 The world's first atomic power station opened at Obninsk, near Moscow. 1955 The state of Illinois enacted the first automobile seat belt legislation. 1967 The world's first cash dispenser was installed at Barclays Bank in Enfield, England. The device was invented by John Sheppard-Barron. The machine operated on a voucher system and the maximum withdrawal was $28. 1967 Two hundred people were arrested during a race riot in Buffalo, NY. 1969 Patrons at the Stonewall Inn, a gay bar in New York City's Greenwich Village, clashed with police. This incident is considered to be the birth of the homosexual rights movement. 1972 Bobby Hull signed a 10-year hockey contract for $2,500,000. He became a player and coach of the Winnipeg Jets of the World Hockey Association. 1973 Former White House counsel John W. Dean told the Senate Watergate Committee about an "enemies list" that was kept by the Nixon White House. 1973 Nixon vetoed a Senate ban on bombing Cambodia. 1980 U.S. President Carter signed legislation reviving draft registration. 1985 Route 66 was officially removed from the United States Highway System. 1985 The U.S. House of Representatives voted to limit the use of combat troops in Nicaragua. 1986 The World Court ruled that the U.S. had broken international law by aiding Nicaraguan rebels. 1995 Qatar's Crown Prince Sheik Hamad bin Khalifa al-Thani ousted his father in a bloodless palace coup. 1998 An English woman was impregnated with her dead husband's sperm after two-year legal battle over her right to the sperm. 1998 In a live joint news conference in China U.S. President Clinton and President Jiang Zemin offered an uncensored airing of differences on human rights, freedom, trade and Tibet. 2002 In the U.S., the Securities and Exchange Commission required companies with annual sales of more than $1.2 billion to submit sworn statements backing up the accuracy of their financial reports. 2005 In Alaska's Denali National Park, a roughly 70-million year old dinosaur track was discovered. The track was form a three- toed Cretaceous period dinosaur. 2019 Do smiled. |
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