Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, February 25 | 1411If you like my work, Please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it! Please, help me stay online! | ___________________________________________________ History: on this day, February 25, in 1913, The 16th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was ratified. It authorized a graduated (Marxist) income tax, intended to raw everybody down to the lowest common denominator. ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award: Man shot, killed his friend in north Phoenix during argument over MMA and boxing __________________________________________________ Q Normal is not something to aspire to, it's something to get away from. --- Jodie Foster (1962 - ) Every man is wise when attacked by a mad dog; fewer when pursued by a mad woman; only the wisest survive when attacked by a mad notion. --- Robertson Davies There are only two ways of telling the complete truth-- anonymously and posthumously. --- Thomas Sowell (1930 - ) ________________________________________________ Jill was selling tickets at the movie house when I got a phone call. This woman said, "How much is a ticket?" Jill said, "Four dollars." She said, "How much for children?" Jill said, "Same price, four dollars per seat." She said, "The airlines charge half fare for children." Jill said, "OK, put the kids on a plane to somewhere, and you come to the movie. You'll enjoy it a lot more that way." __________________________________________________ Having lost weight over the past few years, a lady was discarding things from her wardrobe that no longer fit. Her seven-year-old niece was watching as she held up a huge pair of slacks. "Wow," the lady said, "I must have worn these when I was 185." Her niece looked puzzled, then asked, "How old are you now?" __________________________________________________ Nico Trif _________________________________________________ For months he had been her devoted admirer. Now, at long last, he had collected up sufficient courage to ask her the most momentous of all questions. "There are quite a lot of advantages to being a bachelor," he began, "but there comes a time when one longs for the companionship of another being...a being who will regard one as perfect, as an idol; who will be kind and faithful when times are hard; who will share one's joys and sorrows..." To his delight he saw a sympathetic gleam in her eyes as she nodded in agreement. She replied,"Yes, I agree, I think it would be a great idea, and I'll gladly help you find a nice puppydog for a pet." ________________________________________________ Two gentlemen were discussing the prospects of "looming" retirement. While one guy had lots of hobbies, the other fellow had no hobbies, and was rather concerned about being set loose with nothing to do. The first guy suggested his friend go visit his kids. The man said, "Well, I only have two kids, but I could buy a motor home and go visit my brothers and sisters, that would take about a year." The first guy looked a bit puzzled, so his friend said, "I'm one of eighteen kids in my family." The first fellow's eyes got rather large, contemplating eighteen children, so the man volunteered to explain. "You see, my mother was hard of hearing. My Mom & Dad would go to bed at night, and my Dad would ask, 'Do you want to go to sleep, or what?' and my Mom would say, "What?" ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ An anthropologist was assigned to Borneo, where he found a guide with a canoe to take him up the river to the remote site he where he would make his collections. At noon on the second day of travel up the river they began to hear drums. "What are those drums?" asked the anthropologist, knowing he was in cannibal country. The guide turned to him and said "No worry. Drums OK, but very bad when they stop." They both went ghostly pale when the drums suddenly stopped. The guide crouched in the belly of the canoe and covered his ears. "Do as I do! Very important!" hissed the guide with great urgency. "Why? What does this mean?" asked the panicked anthropologist. In a terrified whisper the native replied: "Drums stop! Next come violin solo!" ___________________________________________________ The old perfesser was shopping the other day and wound up face to face with this drop dead gorgeous young lady. Talk about *built*. He couldn't help but just stare at her, so much so that his mouth dropped open and he was almost drooling. The lady caught him staring and suspected he wasn't just admiring her shopping bag. "So, old man," she said, "are you often troubled by indecent thoughts?" The old perfesser smiled and replied, "No, ma'am. Actually, to be honest, I rather enjoy them." __________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Cameron Drake, 24, Phoenix, Arizona, USA Man shot, killed his friend in north Phoenix during argument over MMA and boxing Police say a suspect has been arrested after a man was found shot to death inside a car in a north Phoenix neighborhood. According to Phoenix Police, officers responded to a shooting near 60th Street and Acoma Drive at 9 p.m. on Feb. 21 and found 24-year-old Dylan Forbes, who was in a vehicle suffering from a fatal gunshot wound. The suspect in the shooting, identified as 24-year-old Cameron Drake, left the scene and called police to report that "he shot Forbes in self-defense." Drake was found by officers and detained. Investigators say Forbes was in the car with Drake and another person when Forbes was shot during a dispute. According to court documents, the third person in the car ran from the scene and called police, saying that Drake shot Forbes during an argument about sports, MMA and boxing. During an interview with police, Drake allegedly claimed that he told Forbes to get out of his car, but he refused. Drake then claimed Forbes pointed a gun at him. "Cameron feared for his life and when the victim turned his head away, Cameron shot the victim one time in the head," court documents read. Police say evidence at the scene contradicted what Drake had told them about the shooting. Drake was arrested and booked into jail on a $250,000 bond. He is accused of second-degree murder. ____________________________________________________ Two gentlemen were discussing the prospects of "looming" retirement. While one guy had lots of hobbies, the other fellow had no hobbies, and was rather concerned about being set loose with nothing to do. The first guy suggested his friend go visit his kids. The man said, "Well, I only have two kids, but I could buy a motor home and go visit my brothers and sisters, that would take about a year." The first guy looked a bit puzzled, so his friend said, "I'm one of eighteen kids in my family." The first fellow's eyes got rather large, contemplating eighteen children, so the man volunteered to explain. "You see, my mother was hard of hearing. My Mom & Dad would go to bed at night, and my Dad would ask, 'Do you want to go to sleep, or what?' and my Mom would say, "What?" -------------- I used to know her sister: "What-What". _____________________________________________________ During his first three-month evaluation, a rookie cop mentionedDuring his first three-month evaluation, a rookie cop mentioned to the chief of police that the stress of the job was really starting to wear him down. The chief told the young policeman that when he was a young cop, whenever he was feeling too tense, he'd go home and make love like crazy with his wife for about an hour, which always made him feel better and enabled him to return to work with a much better outlook. The rookie considered this piece of wisdom and said it sounded like good advice; he'd give it a try and see if it helped. The next week the chief called the kid in and asked how things were going. The new cop replied that, in fact, just that morning had experienced extreme stress and had followed his boss's suggestion, with great success. He felt great. After being dismissed by his pleased superior, the rookie abruptly halted at the door and said, "Oh, Chief, I almost forgot. Your wife asked me to tell you to pick up some lamb chops for dinner." _________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Malcolm Re: Does Mailwasher harvest your traffic? Dear Webby I have to be careful about who harvests my traffic. Does your mailwasher harvest and track your adresses? Malcolm Dear Malcolm It tracks spams and puts them into it's database. It totally ignores legitimate mails. In time, it getsmore and more precise in recognizing your typical spam and scam. If you make filters to catch spammers or scammers, it tracks how often they grab and fry something, and show you nice and colorful pie charts about which of your filters were most effective. However, it does not tell anybody about who has spammed you or who has mailed you. The data would be totally overwhelming. Don't worry about it. Have FUN! DearWebby _________________________________________________ Today, February 25 in 1570, England's Queen Elizabeth I was excommunicated by Pope Pius V. 1751, Edward Willet displayed the first trained monkey act in the U.S. 1791, First Bank of the United States (The President, Directors and Company, of the Bank of the United States) was chartered by the U.S. Congress and signed by President Washington. 1793, The department heads of the U.S. government met with U.S. President Washington for the first Cabinet meeting on U.S. record. 1836, Samuel Colt received U.S. Patent No. 138 (later 9430X) for a "revolving-cylinder pistol." It was his first patent. 1901, The United States Steel Corp. was incorporated by J.P. Morgan. 1913, The 16th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was ratified. It authorized a graduated (Marxist) income tax, intended to raw everybody down to the lowest common denominator. 1919, The state of Oregon became the first state to place a tax on gasoline. The tax was 1 cent per gallon. 1928, The Federal Radio Commission issued the first U.S. television license to Charles Jenkins Laboratories in Washington, DC. 1930, The bank check photographing device was patented. 1933, The aircraft carrier Ranger was launched. It was the first ship in the U.S. Navy to be designed and built from the keel up as an aircraft carrier. 1837, Thomas Davenport patented the first commercial electrical motor. There was no practical electical distribution system available and Davenport went bankrupt. 1940, The New York Rangers and the Montreal Canadiens played in the first hockey game to be televised in the U.S. The game was aired on W2WBS in New York with one camera in a fixed position. The Rangers beat the Canadiens 6-2. 1948, Communists seized power in Czechoslovakia. 1956, Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev criticized the late Josef Stalin in a speech before a Communist Party congress in Moscow. 1972, Germany gave a $5 million ransom to Arab terrorists who had hijacked a jumbo jet. 1986, Filippino President Ferdinand E. Marcos fled the Philippines after 20 years of rule after a tainted election. 1999, William King was sentenced to death for the racial murder of James Byrd Jr in Jasper, TX. Two other men charged were later convicted for their involvement. 1999, In Moscow, China's Prime Minister Zhu Rongji and Russia's President Boris Yeltsin discussed trade and other issues. 2000, In Albany, NY, a jury acquitted four New York City police officers of second-degree murder and lesser charges in the February 1999 shooting death of Amadou Diallo. 2005, Dennis Rader was arrested for the BTK serial killings in Wichita, KS. He later pleaded guilty and was sentenced to 10 life prison terms. 2020, In Seattle, WA, Amazon opened its first Amazon Go Grocery store. 2022 Do smiled.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Go to TOP Well, Do , that's all for today.
Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com Please give a friend a subscription to the Humor Letter If the greeting on top does NOT have your first name, or at least your favorite nickname, please tell me. I can correct that in two seconds and greet you properly from then on. If you want to give a gift subscription to a friend, but don't have time to subscribe her or him, just hit REPLY and tell me. I will gladly enter them for you and send them a confirmation request. To reply to me personally, just hit REPLY or write to humor@webby.com If you do not normally get the Humor Letter every day, and this was the first time, then a friend sent you a one time sample or maybe even gave you a gift subscription. If you like the Humor Letter, then you can subscribe at http://webby.com/sub.html You can also UNsubscribe there. If you don't want to receive the Webby Humor Letter, please unsubscribe by clicking the link below: You are currently subscribed to the Regular HTML version with this address: newsletter@newslettercollector.com UNSUBSCRIBE from the regular HTMLversion Give a friend a free gift subscription to the Humor Letter | . |