Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, July 4 Happy Independence Day! ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________  Police arrest man for assaulting officer and abandoning stolen ambulance  ___________________________________________________ Today, July 4 in 1776 The amended Declaration of Independence, prepared by Thomas Jefferson, was approved and signed by John Hancock, the President of the Continental Congress in America. ____________________________________________________ The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do. --- B. F. Skinner (1904 - 1990) ____________________________________________________ One day this old lady walks into the doctors office and is shown into a room. When the doctor comes in and asks what the problem is she answers, "I have awful gas, but it doesn't bother me. You see, it's completely silent, and doesn't smell at all." So the doctor, after examining her thoroughly gives her some pills and tells her to take one everyday and come back in a week. So the old lady comes back, and when the doctor asks if her problem is any better she replies, "Well I don't know what you gave me but now my gas smells terribly!" The doctor replies "Well now that we've got your sinuses cleared up let's work on your hearing!"' ____________________________________________________   ____________________________________________________ The medical student was shocked when he received a failing grade in radiology. Approaching the professor, he demanded to know the reason for the grade. "You know the self X-ray you took?" asked the professor. "I do." said the student. "A fine picture," the professor said, "of your lungs, stomach, and liver." "If it's a fine picture, then why did you give me an F?" asked the student. "I had no choice," said the professor. "You didn't put your heart into it." ____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Matthew Thomas Crook, 34, Brittany Cannon, 32, Scottsdale, Arizona, USA  Police arrest man for assaulting officer and abandoning stolen ambulance  After a five day manhunt, police have arrested a man accused of assaulting an officer and stealing an ambulance before abandoning it in a Scottsdale neighborhood on June 28. According to Scottsdale Police, the officer was hit after a driver was stopped and then intentionally reversed into the officer's motorcycle near Indian School and Scottsdale roads. Sgt. Kevin Quon says the male driver and female passenger fled the traffic stop and later struck an uninvolved vehicle near 75th Street and Indian School Road and fled from the collision. "Officers located the suspect vehicle and a brief pursuit ensued. The vehicle entered an apartment complex near 78th Street and Camelback Road and both suspects fled on foot. The vehicle was later recovered by police," stated Quon. Later on, officers learned the suspects had stolen an ambulance from an unrelated medical incident in the area. It was later abandoned and recovered near 79th Street and Heatherbrae Avenue. Quon says the suspects were seen by witnesses running into the neighborhood and the female suspect, identified as 32-year-old Brittany Cannon, was apprehended a short time later. The male suspect, identified as 34-year-old Matthew Thomas Crook, was on the run before being arrested by police on July 1. He is accused of aggravated assault on an officer and theft of an emergency vehicle. Police say Crook didn't go far. Officers found him hiding out at a location in Phoenix. In his mugshot, Crook was seen with facial injuries. Police officials say he was tenderized during a confrontation with officers. "He did try to run from the initial arrest, and we did catch up with him, and thats when he decided to fight with the officers again," said Scottsdale Police Sergeant Kevin Quon. During the confrontation, officials say one officer suffered a knee injury. Officials also say Crook did not have a weapon. "A taser was deployed in the apprehension as well as other uses of force," said Sgt. Quon. According to court documents, Cannon told officers that Crook intentionally crashed into the officers because "he did not want to go back to jail." Both suspects were previously arrested for alleged theft in the Tucson area about a month ago.  
 DearWebby's tech support pits from: Yolanda re: Does Microsoft Office have a PDF editor? Dear Webby Does Microsoft Office have a PDF editor? Yolanda  Dear Yolanda there is no separate Microsoft PDF editor or Microsoft PDF writer available, but the built-in word program can be used to edit PDF files. Have FUN! DearWebby 
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 Tell a man there are 347 billion stars in the universe, and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it, and he'll have to touch it to be sure. ____________________________________________ To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a commitee. ____________________________________________ Two soldiers are late returning from their leave, and now they're standing before their sergeant: "How could you be late for two whole hours? What if a war broke out?" "Well, Sergeant, we went to the opera and we just got carried away with the performance." "Opera?!" the sergeant exclaims. "I know you turkeys got good and drunk, but I doubt you got drunk enough on YOUR salary to wind up in the opera!" ______________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
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 Today, July 4, in 1776 The amended Declaration of Independence, prepared by Thomas Jefferson, was approved and signed by John Hancock, the President of the Continental Congress in America. 1802 The U.S. Military Academy officially opened at West Point, NY. 1803 The Louisiana Purchase was announced in newspapers. The property was purchased, by the U.S. from France, was for $15 million (or 3 cents an acre). The "Corps of Discovery," led by Meriwether Lewis and William Clark, began the exploration of the territory on May 14, 1804. 1817 Construction began on the Erie Canal, to connect Lake Erie and the Hudson River. 1845 American writer Henry David Thoreau began his two-year experiment in simple living at Walden Pond, near Concord, MA. 1886 The first rodeo in America was held at Prescott, AZ. 1892 The first double-decked street car service was inaugurated in San Diego, CA. 1894 After seizing power, Judge Stanford B. Dole declared Hawaii a republic. 1901 William H. Taft became the American governor of the Philippines. 1910 Race riots broke out all over the United States after African-American Jack Johnson knocked out Jim Jeffries in a heavyweight boxing match. 1934 At Mount Rushmore, George Washington's face was dedicated. 1946 The Philippines achieved full independence for the first time in over four hundred years. 1960 The 50-star U.S. flag made its debut in Philadelphia, PA. 1966 U.S. President Johnson signed the Freedom of Information Act, which went into effect the following year. 1987 Klaus Barbie, the former Gestapo chief known as the "Butcher of Lyon," was convicted by a French court of crimes against humanity and sentenced to life in prison. 1997 The Mars Pathfinder, an unmanned spacecraft, landed on Mars. A rover named Sojourner was deployed to gather data about the surface of the planet. 2009 North Korea launched seven ballistic missiles into waters off its east coast that defied U.N. resolutions. 2009 The Statue of Liberty's crown reopened to visitors. It had been closed to the public since 2001. 2021 Do smiled. 
 
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