Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, June 7 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! _____________________________________________________ Today, June 7 in 1776 Richard Henry Lee of Virginia proposed to the Continental Congress a resolution calling for a Declaration of Independence. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Woman Told Cops She Stabbed Herself Three Times Because, "I'm Tired Of Living In Trump's Country" ! ! ! ! _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! _______________________________________________ After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, 'No hablo ingles.' --- Ronnie Shakes _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ "Dad," said Little Johnny, "I'm late for football practice. Would you please do my homework for me?" The father said irately, "Son, it just wouldn't be right." "That's okay," replied Little Johnny, "Sometimes I get it wrong too. Just give it a try, couldn't you?" ______________________________________________________` Plant-on-Fire _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Florida woman 46 Palmetto, Floriduh Woman Told Cops She Stabbed Herself Three Times Because, "I'm Tired Of Living In Trump's Country" A Florida woman told police that she stabbed herself in the stomach with a kitchen knife because, I'm tired of living in Trump's country, I'm tired of Trump being president. Cops found the 46-year-old woman standing outside her residence in Palmetto Sunday, according to a police report. She had blood all over her legs, hands, and face, a cop noted. When asked what was wrong, the woman lifted her shirt to reveal three stab wounds on [her] stomach that were still bleeding. She then told the patrolman she had stabbed herself because she does not want to live in Trump's country. The woman was subsequently transported by EMS workers to a local hospital under trauma alert. After evaluating the woman, a cop concluded that there was a substantial likelihood that she will cause bodily harm to herself and/or others. As a result, the officer appears to have recommended that the woman be involuntarily admitted to a mental health treatment facility (per the state's Baker Act). The report states that the woman said she has been Baker Acted before and has attempted to hurt herself in the past. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Bill (The other Bill) Re: Not getting along with W10 DearWebby, I don't know if this is a fact, but my local computer shop told me that W10 and Avast don't get along well. If Bill is using W10, maybe he should switch to another anti-virus program. Bill (The other Bill) Dear Bill A lot does not get along with W10. I don't get along with W10 either, just like I did not get along with DOS 4 or Windows VISTA. For Anti VIRUS I recommend Malwarebytes. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. A visitor asked a West Texas cowboy, "Doesn't it ever rain out here?" The cowboy replied, "Sure. There was a half-inch of rain a couple of weeks ago just a few miles north of here, but I was too busy and couldn't go." The wind blows so hard out in West Texas that at a drive-in theater it once blew Gene Autry right out of the saddle." It was so dry that the Baptists were sprinkling, the Methodists were spitting, and the Catholics were giving rain checks. A visitor to Amarillo asked a local rancher, "How do you stand the wind blowing every single day?" The rancher said, "You just have to get used to it - learn to lean into it. In fact, one day last fall the wind stopped blowing all of a sudden, and all the chickens in the panhandle plumb fell over." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Elizabeth was surprised to receive ten dollars from her Aunt for her birthday. The Aunt asked how she was going to spend it. "I'm taking it to Sunday School and giving it to God." the little girl replied. "He's gonna crap his drawers with surprise over not getting a dollar like usual." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Avocado Peels When peeling an avocado, leave a little fruit on the inside of the avocado skin and use it to scrub your face. The peel with help remove dead skin and avocado fruit makes a great moisturizer. Let it sit for 5 to 10 minutes and then rinse it off. thriftyfun.Com ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ On a military training exercise, the British divisional command radio operators were getting very bored one quiet night, when breaking the silence a voice asked over the air, "Are there any friendly bears listening?" After a moment, another voice replied, "Yes, I'm a friendly bear," and then another voice, "I'm a friendly bear too!" At this point, the Officer at Headquarters grabbed his microphone and let loose a blistering tirade at the operators for fooling around on a radio link. When he had finished, there was silence for about ten seconds. Then a voice said, "He's not a very friendly bear. Let's go to the secret frequency!" None of them knew what the secret frequency was, so they went to sleep. But the British Government is still trying to find it. ___________________________________________________ During training exercises, the lieutenant who was driving down a muddy back road encountered another car stuck in the mud with a red-faced colonel at the wheel. "Your jeep stuck, sir?" asked the lieutenant as he pulled alongside. "Nope," replied the colonel, coming over and handing him the keys, "Yours is." ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
The woman needed encouragement to keep pedaling the exercise bike in her gym. So my friend, the gym manager, said, "Close your eyes and imagine you're riding along Broadway in New York City. It will be more interesting." Inspired, the woman cycled on, but after a minute she stopped. "What's wrong?" asked my friend. " The traffic light's red," she replied. ___________________________________________________ | Today, June 7 in 1494 Spain and Portugal divided the new lands they had discovered between themselves. 1498 Christopher Columbus left on his third voyage of exploration. 1546 Peace of Ardes ended the war between France and England. 1654 Louis XIV was crowned king of France. 1712 The Pennsylvania Assembly banned the importation of slaves. 1775 The United Colonies changed their name to the United States. 1776 Richard Henry Lee of Virginia proposed to the Continental Congress a resolution calling for a Declaration of Independence. 1863 Mexico City was captured by French troops. 1892 J.F. Palmer patented the cord bicycle tire. 1900 Boxer rebels cut the rail links between Peking and Tientsin in China. 1903 Professor Pierre Curie revealed the discovery of Polonium. 1929 The sovereign state of Vatican City came into existence as copies of the Lateran Treaty were exchanged in Rome. 1932 Over 7,000 war veterans marched on Washington, DC, demanding their bonuses. 1935 Pierre Laval received emergency powers to save the franc. 1937 The cover of "LIFE" magazine showed the latest in campus fashions of the times, which included saddle shoes. 1939 King George VI and his wife, Queen Elizabeth, arrived in the U.S. It was the first visit to the U.S. by a reigning British monarch. 1942 The Battle of Midway ended. The sea and air battle lasted 4 days. Japan lost four carriers, a cruiser, and 292 aircraft, and suffered 2,500 casualties. The U.S. lost the Yorktown, the destroyer USS Hammann, 145 aircraft, and suffered 307 casualties. 1942 Japan landed troops on the islands of Attu and Kiska in the Aleutians. The U.S. invaded and recaptured the Alutians one year later. 1944 Off of the coast of Normandy, France, the Susan B. Anthony sank. All 2,689 people aboard survived. 1948 The Communists completed their takeover of Czechoslovakia. 1955 "The $64,000 Question" premiered. 1965 In the U.S., the Gemini 4 mission was completed. The mission featured the first spacewalk by an American. 1968 In Operation Swift Saber, U.S. Marines swept an area 10 miles northwest of Danang in South Vietnam. 1968 Legoland Billund opend in Billund, Denmark. It was the original Legoland park. 1981 Israeli F-16 fighter-bombers destroyed Iraq's only nuclear reactor. 1983 The U.S. ordered Nicaragua to close all six of its consulates and informed 21 Nicaraguan consular officials that they could not longer remain in the U.S. 1994 The United States District Court for the Eastern District of Virginia declared the RMS Titanic, Inc. (RMST) salvor-in- possession of the wreck and the wreck site of the RMS Titanic. 2000 U.S. Federal Judge Thomas Penfield Jackson ordered the breakup of Microsoft Corporation. Microsoft ignored the order. 2019 Do smiled. |
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