Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, April 27 Pink Super Moon tonight! ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ After 12-hour standoff at Florida hotel, officers arrest man with long criminal history ___________________________________________________ Today, April 25 in 1965 "Pampers" were patented by R.C. Duncan. ____________________________________________________ I know nothing about sex because I was always married. --- Zsa Zsa Gabor (1919 - ) In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear. --- John C. Dvorak ____________________________________________________ Was it J.Edgar Hoover who once said: "Legalize crime, then tax them out of business!" ? The government of England seems to have been inspired by that and is taxing itself out of the taxing business. They have raised the tax on cigarettes so high that officially admitted over 1/3 (-but actually over 60%-) of the cigarettes smoked in the UK are smuggled and tax free cigarettes. Officially smoking has increased 6.5% in the last year. Since they probably didn't check with all the smugglers, that figure is probably closer to 10%. Since smoking is the leading cause of statistics, the unemployment rate is expected to drop accordingly, as more people find jobs in compiling statistics. ____________________________________________________ During a phone conversation, my niece mentioned that she was taking a psychology course at university. "Oh, great," I said, "Now you'll be analyzing everyone in the family." "No, no," she replied. "I don't take abnormal psychology until next year." ____________________________________________________ Desert Rose Andrew Htut ____________________________________________________ The other night I was waiting for a woman getting ready to go to Walmart. She sat there and put on eyebrow pencil, eye shadow, eyeliner, eyelashes, mascara, toner, blush and lipstick and all kinds of stuff I don't even know the names of, then turned to me and said, "Does this look natural?" ____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Walter Brois, 49, Pinellas Park, Florida, USA After 12-hour standoff at Florida hotel, officers arrest man with long criminal history Pinellas Park police said a man barricaded himself inside a hotel room Wednesday night, leading to a standoff with authorities that lasted for nearly 12 hours. By Thursday morning, they "peacefully" arrested 49-year-old Walter Brois. Pinellas County Sheriff Bob Gualtieri said Brois has been arrested 41 times on 142 separate charges; has been convicted for 38 different felonies and 10 misdemeanors; and spent 13 years in total within the Florida prison system. Most recently, the sheriff said, Brois spent 11 years in prison and was released in late 2020. A few days ago, the suspect held a gun to a woman's head in Pasco County, officials said. "Here we go again," Sheriff Gualtieri said. "He hasnt even been out for a year and hes sticking a gun at some womans head. This is a bad guy. This is a guy who shouldnt be on the streets. Were very fortunate that we were able to resolve this with everyone safe." Pinellas Park police said the incident started Wednesday night as an officer began a stolen car tag investigation at the Sams Club on Park Boulevard North. When the officer arrived, he made contact Brois, but after five minutes, the suspect hopped in the drivers seat, according to Chief Michael Haworth. Chief Haworth said the officer went to the passenger side and gave Brois commands to stop. He drew his Taser and used it twice, but it didn't work. The officer was dragged in the parking lot until he released himself from the vehicle. The police department said the officer had a few cuts and bruises. Investigators tracked Brois to the Comfort Inn and Suites on Ulmerton Road and all guests were evacuated overnight as a precaution. "This is a bad guy. This is a guy who shouldnt be on the street." Pinellas County Sheriff Bob Gualtieri Early on, law enforcement said they learned Brois likely was armed with a handgun. They said he was barricaded inside a hotel room on the fourth floor. "He made it painfully clear he was not going to come out and we would have to come in and kill him," Chief Haworth explained. A window on the west side of the hotel was broken in order to deploy over 50 rounds of tear gas into the room, but there was no response from Brois, officials said. Sheriff Gualtieri said officers decided it was "explosive breaching time" in order to enter through the door. It turned out Brois barricaded the door with furniture and other items. After the SWAT team penetrated the door, a drone was used. "He was in the room, hunkered down, wrapped multiple times in sheets on the bed," Sheriff Gualtieri described. After, the SWAT team deployed bean bag rounds, but during that time, it was confirmed that Brois had a gun, the sheriff said. "During our time in the hotel room, when the SWAT team was in therehe actually took the gun out and racked the slides," Gualtieri said. "So, he was loading the gun. He was armed as we were trying to deal with him. He was racking the gun and prepared to use it." Ulmerton Road was closed in both directions during the standoff, but reopened after Brois was taken into custody. A woman who was with Brois at the Sam's Club was also arrested, Chief Haworth said. Brois faces several charges in Pinellas County, in addition to outstanding charges in Hillsborough and Pasco counties. Pretty Boy Walter apparently was homesick for the jail. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From:Delta Re: Double sided printing Dear Webby I need a new printer. Like you, I got fed up with ink squirters a long time ago. I got 15 years and an awful lot of printing out of my Dell color laser. Now, though, Dell does not make them anymore. Now what? Delta Dear Delta, Actually, I don't think DELL ever made printers in their garage or basement. They just marketed them, after a DELL sticker was put on the outside, at the far away factory. They stopped doing that, and now they market Lexmark printers. Lexmark took over the IBM printer department. At first many people were quite hesitant to buy Asian made IBM/Lexmark printers, but they turned out quite OK and are still in business. When my DELL color laser died of old age a couple of years ago, I bought a Lexmark C2400. The first surprise was that it was extremely heavy. They must have replaced all plastic with cast iron or used Uranium. The second surprise was printing letters, that were more than one page. The page came out part way, then it sucked it back in and did more printing type noises. Finally it spit out the page, and the second page had been printed on the back of the first page. Neato! Takes a bit of getting used to, but you can tell it in the settings not to do that, if you have to print 200 pages, and just want to flip the stack over before you go for lunch. Aside from that peculiarity and the getting used to the printing on the back side, I can definitely recommend that printer. Have FUN! DearWebby One evening as a family was eating dinner, the mother knowing that her young son Johnnie had been telling lot's of lies as of late, announced that she had made arrangements for her son to go over to talk to their priest. The priest had a good reputation for helping people who were compulsive liars. The mother asks her son if he would go over to the parsonage to see the priest. So Johnnie being a very helpful kid went over. At answering the door the priest ask Johnnie if he was at church Sunday, of course he lied and said yes. "Well," said the priest, "I guess you seen what happened at church on Sunday?" "Yes" said Johnnie lying. "Well I guess you saw that big grizzly bear come through the front door and up the aisle grabbing people from their seats and eating them alive?" "Yeah" said Johnnie. "Well I guess you saw that little dog come in right behind him, and stare down that grizzly right in the middle of the church?" "Yeah" said Johnnie, lying again. After a few moments of silence the priest finally looked Johnnie straight in the eye and ask Johnnie if he honest to God believed that story. Johnnie replied, without a quiver, "I sure do preacher, that was my Dog!" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ A fellow decided to decorate his bedroom. He wasn't sure how many rolls of wallpaper he would need but he knew that the irishman who lived next door had recently done the same job and the two rooms were identical in size. "Murphy," he asked, "how many rolls of wallpaper did you buy for your bedroom?" "Twenty" said murphy. So the fellow bought the twenty rolls of paper and did the job. It looked wonderful, but he had 12 rolls of wallpaper left over. "Murphy," he said. "I bought twenty rolls of wallpaper for the bedroom, but i've got 12 left over!" "Dat's funny," said murphy. "So did i." ____________________________________________ miss prissy was going over melvin's records with his anxious parents. On one page was the statement, "melvin used fowl language today." Mr. Messpot, hoping to put the teacher in a bad light, snickered, "ha! You spelled foul wrong." Miss prussy corrected, "no, I meant f-o-w-l. Your child called me a 'dumb cluck' ." ____________________________________________ there's this old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery. One sunday, in the pulpit, he said, "if I hear that word one more time, i'll quit!" Everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say they had "fallen." This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well, until the priest died at a ripe old age. About a week after the new priest arrived, he visited the mayor of the town and seemed very concerned. The priest said, "you have to do something about the roads and sidewalks in town. When people come into the confessional, they keep talking about having fallen." The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had told the new priest about the code word. Before the mayor could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at the mayor and said, "i don't know what you're laughing about, your own wife fell three times this week already, and your daughter fell twice!" ____________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, April 27 in 1296 The Scots were defeated by Edward I at the Battle of Dunbar. 1509 Pope Julius II excommunicated the Italian state of Venice for not paying church taxes. 1521 Portuguese explorer Ferdinand Magellan was killed by natives in the Philippines. 1565 The first Spanish settlement in Philippines was established in Cebu City. 1805 A force led by U.S. Marines captured and destroyed the city of Derna, on the shores of Tripoli. 1813 As retaliation for capturing New York and burning the White House, Americans under Gen. Pike capture York and burned it to the ground. When it was rebuilt, it became Toronto, the seat of the provincial government of Ontario. 1861 West Virginia seceded from Virginia after Virginia seceded from the Union during the American Civil War. 1861 U.S. President Lincoln issued an order to General Winfield Scott that authorized him to suspend the writ of habeas corpus between Philadelphia and Washington at or near any military line. 1863 The Army of the Potomac began marching on Chancellorsville. 1865 In the U.S. the Sultana exploded while carrying 2,300 Union POWs. Between 1,400 2,000 were killed. 1880 Francis Clarke and M.G. Foster patented the electrical hearing aid. 1897 Grant's Tomb was dedicated. 1909 The sultan of Turkey, Abdul Hamid II, was overthrown. 1938 Geraldine Apponyi married King Zog of Albania. She was the first American woman to become a queen. 1938 A colored baseball was used for the first time in any baseball game. The ball was yellow and was used between Columbia and Fordham Universities in New York City. 1945 The Second Republic was founded in Austria. 1946 The SS African Star was placed in service. It was the first commercial ship to be equipped with radar. 1950 South Africa passed the Group Areas Act, which formally segregated races. 1953 The U.S. offered $50,000 and political asylum to any Communist pilot that delivered a MIG jet. 1953 Five people were killed and 60 injured when Mt. Aso erupted on the island of Kyushu. 1960 The submarine Tullibee was launched from Groton, CT. It was the first sub to be equipped with closed-circuit television. 1961 The United Kingdom granted Sierra Leone independence. 1965 "Pampers" were patented by R.C. Duncan. 1967 In Montreal, Prime Minister Lester Pearson lighted a flame to open Expo 67. 1975 Saigon was encircled by North Vietnamese troops. 1978 Pro-Soviet Marxists seized control of Afghanistan. 1982 The trial of John W. Hinckley Jr. began in Washington. Hinckley was later acquitted by reason of insanity for the shooting of U.S. President Reagan and three others. 1982 China proposed a new constitution that would radically alter the structure of the national government. 1984 In London, Libyan gunmen left the Libyan Embassy 11 days after killing a policewoman and wounding 10 others. 1989 Student protestors took over Tiananmen Square in Beijing. 1987 The U.S. Justice Department barred Austrian President Kurt Waldheim from entering the U.S. They claimed that he had aided in the deportation and execution of thousands of Jews and others as a German Army officer during World War II. 1992 Russia and 12 other former Soviet republics won entry into the International Monetary Fund and the World Bank. 2005 The A380, the world's largest jetliner, completed its maiden flight. The passenger capability was 840. 2005 Russian President Vladimir Putin became the first Kremlin leader to visit Israel. 2006 In New York, NY, construction began on the 1,776-foot One World Trade Center on the site of former World Trade Center. 2021 Do smiled. |
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