Good Morning, Do! Today is Wedmesday, Oct 18 __________________________________________________ History: Today, Oct 18, in 1970, Quebec's minister of labor was found strangled to death after eight days of being held captive by the Quebec Liberation Front (FLQ). ____________________________________________________ Q Setting a good example for children takes all the fun out of middle age. --- William Feather (1908 - 1976) Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely been detected. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) Sex appeal is fifty percent what you've got and fifty percent what you think you've got. --- Sophia Loren ___________________________________________________ If You Can Spare A Coin, Please Hit Paypal With It! ___________________________________________________ BONEHEAD AWARD Pastor Ralph Douglas West in Houston ordered to pay $2.45M after found liable for spreading genital herpes __________________________________________________________ From: "The Gingerbread Man From Erie" To: humor@webby.com Subject: Vocabulary Test I challenge you NOT to think dirty. All of the answers in this quiz are NOT obscene in any way. Vocabulary Test 1) What is a four-letter word that ends in "k" and means the same as intercourse? 2) What is it that a cow has four of and a woman has only two of? 3) What can you find in a man's pants that is about six inches long, has a head on it, and that women love so much that they often blow it? 4) What word starts with "f " and ends with "u-c-k"? 5) Name five words that are each four letters long, end in " u-n-t " one of which is a word for a woman? 6) What does a dog do that you can step into? 7) What four letter word begins with "f " and ends with " k", and if you can't get one you can use your hands? 8) What is hard, six inches long, has two nuts, and can make a girl fat? 9) What four-letter word ends in "i-t " and is found on the bottom of bird cages? 10) What is it that all men have one of; it's longer on some men than on others; the pope doesn't use his; and a man gives it to his wife after they're married? ANSWERS: 1. (talk) 2. (legs) 3. (a twenty dollar bill) 4. (fire truck) 5. (bunt, hunt, runt, punt, aunt) 6. (pants) 7. (fork) 8. (Almond Joy candy bar) 9. (grit) 10. (last name) I know what you were thinking ________________________________________________________   The bears still LOVE the pipeline! _______________________________________________________ If You Can Spare A Coin, Please Hit Paypal With It! ___________________________________________________ From: Tom Ervin HEADLINES FROM 2035 Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, California. White minorities are still trying to have English recognized as California's third language. Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops &livestock. Baby conceived naturally.... Scientists stumped. Authentic year 2000 "chad" sells at Sotheby's for $4.6 million. Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels. Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking. George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036. Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $7.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesday only. 35 year study: diet and exercise is the key to weight loss. Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative. Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights. Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants. Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches. Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest version of Windows so it crashes BEFORE installation is completed. New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters, and rolled up newspapers must be registered by January 2036. Congress authorizes direct deposit of illegal political contributions to campaign accounts. Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman. IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75% __________________________________________________   Alberta Brownies ___________________________________________________ Just got this in from a reliable source. It seems that there is a virus out there called the Senile Virus that even the most advanced programs cannot take care of, so be warned, it appears to affect those of us who were born before 1964! Symptoms of Senile Virus 1. Causes you to send same e-mail twice. 2. Causes you to send blank e-mail. 3. Causes you to send to wrong person. 4. Causes you to send back to person who sent it to you. 5. Causes you to forget to attach the attachment. 6. Causes you to hit "SEND" before you've finished the ___________________________________________________ Anni and Wendy are passengers on a plane Wendy turns to Anni and says,"if this plane turns upside down will we fall out?" Anni turns and says, "No we'll stay the best of friends!" ___________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits  From: Rhonda RE: Videos on W10 Dear Webby I KNOW that W10 is a klutzy nuisance compared to XP or W7, and almost everything needs something extra to get it to work. Right now I am cussing at Gmail not playing movies in mail without downloading them first. Why can't it do it automatically, like in W7 ? Klutzy Nuisance! Then it wnts to sucker me into downloading a driver search program, that is actually a PUP and Trojan. They can stuff that where the sun don't shine! How do YOU get around that nuissance? Rhonda  Dear Rhonda I agree that phony drver search is a PUP and a nuissance. MalwareBytes even blocks it. You do NOT need that crap. If a gadget or program or device needs a driver, it will call for it and download it from the manufactuerer. Most drivers work OK on the first try. Exceptions are mice. W10 has problems with Logitech 5 button mice and cant paste, because it insists on mis-identyfying it as a Microsoft mouse. DUH!!! Other than that it does OK with required drivers. For videos in gmail, you just have to cuss and download it. THEN you are allowed to view it, you dumb slave. Like a lot in W10, you have to cuss a bit. Who knows, maybe a reader has a way around that. Let's hope and pray. Have FUN! DearWebby ________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ If You Can Spare A Coin, Please Hit Paypal With It! ___________________________________________________ ____________________________________________ A Bonehead Award Has Been Reported By Rock  Pastor Ralph Douglas West, 63, Houston, Texas, USA  Pastor Ralph Douglas West in Houston ordered to pay $2.45M after found liable for spreading genital herpes  In Harris County, a jury reached a verdict in the case of a Houston area pastor finding him liable for transmitting genital herpes and ordered to pay for damages. Ralph Douglas West II, an assistant pastor at The Church Without Walls in Houston, was found liable in the case of D.C. v. Ralph Douglas West II for battery, intentional infliction of emotional distress, and fraudulent concealment. The jury's verdict included $1,450,000 in compensatory damages and $1,000,000 in exemplary/punitive damages, resulting in a total of $2.45 million, which is believed to be the largest ever awarded in Texas for a case of this nature. Shaun Murphy, a partner at the law firm Slovak Baron Empey Murphy & Pinkney, LLP, who represented the plaintiff stated, "We truly hope this verdict sends a strong message to people throughout Texas and the United States who are infected with sexually transmitted diseases that they must disclose having the disease before engaging in sexual intercourse with any others. It is also important for those who have suffered harm after being infected due to another's negligent or intentional conduct to know they have a legal remedy." This case represents one of several trial victories and settlements achieved by Murphy on behalf of victims of genital herpes transmission in the United States. Notably, it marks the largest verdict not only in Texas but also in the states of California and Washington. "I suspect there are many people who don't know that in every state in the U.S., it is unlawful for a person who knows they have a sexually transmitted disease to communicate the disease to another person through sexual contact or to even have sexual contact with another person unless they have informed their partner that they are infected with a sexually transmitted disease," Murphy stated. "In fact, it is considered fraud to knowingly endanger another person in this way, which exposes the person who transmits the STD to potential civil liability for substantial monetary damages." ________________________________________________ A man calls home to his wife and says, "Honey I have been asked to go fishing at Paint Lake up in Canada with my boss and several of his friends. We'll be gone for a week." "This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting so would you please pack me enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and tacklebox. We're leaving from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up. Oh! Please pack my new blue silk pajamas." The wife thinks this sounds a little fishy but being a good wife she does exactly what her husband asked. The following weekend he comes home a little tired but otherwise looking good. The wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish? He says, "Yes! Lot's of Walleye, some Bluegill, and a few Pike. But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to do?" The wife replies; "I did, they are in your tackle box." _________________________________________________ History On Oct 18, in 1469, Ferdinand of Aragon married Isabella of Castile. The marriage united all the dominions of Spain. 1685, King Louis XIV of France revoked the Edict of Nantes, which had established the legal toleration of the Protestant population. 1767, The Mason-Dixon line was agreed upon. It was the boundary between Maryland and Pennsylvania. 1842, Samuel Finley Breese Morse laid his first telegraph cable. 1860, British troops burned the Yuanmingyuan at the end of the Second Opium War. 1867, The U.S. took formal possession of Alaska from Russia. The land was purchased of a total of $7 million dollars (2 cents per acre). 1892, The first long-distance telephone line between Chicago, IL, and New York City, NY, was opened. 1898, The American flag was raised in Puerto Rico only one year after the Caribbean nation won its independence from Spain. 1929, The Judicial Committee of Englands Privy Council ruled that women were to be considered as persons in Canada. 1944, Czechoslovakia was invaded by the Soviets during World War II. 1956, NFL commissioner Bert Bell disallowed the use of radio- equipped helmets by NFL quarterbacks. 1958, The first computer-arranged marriage took place on Art Linkletter's show. 1961, Henri Matiss' "Le Bateau" went on display at New York's Museum of Modern Art. It was discovered 46 days later that the painting had been hanging upside down. 1969, The U.S. government banned artificial sweeteners due to evidence that they caused cancer. 1970, Quebec's minister of labor was found strangled to death after eight days of being held captive by the Quebec Liberation Front (FLQ). 1983, General Motors agreed to hire more women and minorities for five years as part of a settlement with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. 1989, Egon Krenz became the leader of East Germany after Erich Honecker was ousted. Honeker had been in power for 18 years. 1989, The space shuttle Atlantis was launched on a mission that included the deployment of the Galileo space probe. 1990, Iraq made an offer to the world that it would sell oil for $21 a barrel. The price level was the same as it had been before the invasion of Kuwait. 1997, A monument honoring U.S. servicewomen, past and present, was dedicated at Arlington National Cemetery. 2013, Saudi Arabia became the first nation to reject a seat on the United Nations Security Council. Jordan took the seat on December 6. 2023, Do! Smiled. Have Fun Dearwebby 

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