Good Morning, Do!  Today is Thursday, August 31  ___________________________________________________ Bonehead award 2 sentenced for 'extreme' child abuse of 10-year-old ___________________________________________________ Q The greater the ignorance the greater the dogmatism. --- Sir William Osler (1849 - 1919) All charming people have something to conceal, usually their total dependence on the appreciation of others. --- Cyril Connolly (1903 - 1974) ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ History: 1964, California officially became the most populated state in America. There went the neighborhood! ___________________________________________________ A newspaper writer, after working for 17 long years, was finally granted two months leave, during which time he would be fully paid. However, he turned down his boss' kind offer. The boss asked, "Why would you turn down such a generous offer?" The newspaper writer said there were 2 reasons. "Well, what are they?" asked the boss. "The first," he said, "is that I thought that my taking such a long leave might affect the newspaper's circulation." The boss asked him what the other reason was. "The other reason," replied the writer, "is that I thought my taking such a long leave might NOT affect the newspaper's circulation." __________________________________________________   Fire Obsidian, much more expensivee than diamond __________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ After four years of separation, my wife and I finally divorced amicably. I wanted to date again, but I had no idea of how to start, so I decided to look in the personals column of the local newspaper. After reading through all the listings, I circled three that seemed possible in terms of age and interest, but I put off calling them. Two days later, there was a message on my answering machine from my ex-wife. "I came over to your house to borrow some tools today and saw the ads you circled in the paper. Don't call the one in the second column. It's me, and don't call the one in the third column. That is your mother, lying about her age, and the one on the next page, that is your nutty sister." __________________________________________ Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days. Finally his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him. "So how was it?" his mother asked when they returned home. "Great," Little Johnny replied. "Did you and your father have a good time?" asked his mother. "Yeah, Daddy especially liked it," exclaimed Little Johnny excitedly, especially when one of the animals came racing home at 30 to 1!" ____________________________________________________   Canmore, AB _____________________________________________________ "And what was the culmination of events that led you to file this action," asked the man's attorney in the divorce hearing. "All through our marriage my wife was less than fully responsive to my sexual initiatives," replied the husband, "but the clincher came one morning at the breakfast table." "Why? What happened?" "She announced, 'Just so you don't get your hopes up, I'm already beginning to get a headache.'" ___________________________________________________ >From Melissa I was self-conscious about going to the gym, because I thought the pounds I had put on would make me stand out among the spandex-clad regulars. I chose a treadmill in the corner so I'd be inconspicuous. However, as I exercised, my worst fears came true. At least a dozen people turned to stare at me periodically. I thought it might be my imagination, but then one woman even squinted to get a better look. Mortified, I stepped off the machine to leave. When I turned around, I realized that the gym's only wall clock had been hanging just inches above my head. ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Things it takes most of us 50 years to learn: 1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it. 2. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-saving time. 3. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment. 4. The most powerful force in the universe is: gossip. 5. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above- average drivers. 6. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is: age 11. 7. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." 8. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. 9. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings." 10. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them. 11. If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its glories, and he decides to deliver a message to humanity, he will NOT use as his messenger a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle or in some cases, really bad make-up too. 12. You should not confuse your career with your life. 13. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter/janitor, is not a nice person. 14. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously. 15. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy. 16. Your true friends love you, anyway. 17. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. ___________________________________________________ While making rounds, a doctor points out an X-ray to a group of medical students. "As you can see," she says, "the patient limps because his left fibula and tibia are radically arched. Michael, what would you do in a case like this?" "I suppose, I would walk funny too." _______________________________________________  DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: David RE: Driver Updates Dear Webby I keep getting these mails telling me my drivers need to be updated. Is that true? David  Dear David No, not true at all. That is just a scam. IF, and only IF, one of your devices needs a newer driver, which is extremely unlikely, that device will call for the appropriate driver automatically. An example is if you get a different mouse. It will call and download the appropriate driver, and just that, and nothing else. Just mark those mails as spam or scam. Have FUN! DearWebby ___________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work,Please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it!Please, help me stay online! _______________________________________________ A Bonehead award has been reported by Rock  Keola Wimbish, Chloe Sergent, Phoenix, Arizona, USA  2 sentenced for 'extreme' child abuse of 10-year-old  Chloe Sergent, the biological mother of the child, and Keola Wimbish were sentenced to 20 years followed by 10 years of supervised probation after pleading guilty to one count of child abuse and attempt to commit child abuse, the Maricopa County Attorney's Office said. Sergent and Wimbish were arrested in April of last year after a family member reported the abuse to authorities. Investigators say the abuse included the child being physically attacked with a machete and crowbar, waterboarded, and lit on fire. Doctors at Phoenix Children's Hospital said the child was extremely malnourished and had multiple severe injuries, including 12 broken bones, and multiple cuts that were infected. The child required surgery. "The abuse this child suffered at the hands of the people who were supposed to love and care for her is horrific," Maricopa County Attorney Rachel Mitchell said. "Im particularly grateful to this young victim who was willing to bravely tell her story. Thanks to the intervention of a caring relative, thorough investigation by police, and hard work by MCAO prosecutors, justice was done." Almost __________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the humor letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work, please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it! Please, help me stay online! __________________________________________________ History Today August 31, in 1823, Ferdinand VII was restored to the throne of Spain when invited French forces entered Cadiz. The event is known as the Battle of Trocadero. 1852, The first pre-stamped envelopes were created with legislation of the U.S. Congress. 1881, The first tennis championships in the U.S. were played. 1887, The kinetoscope was patented by Thomas Edison. The device was used to produce moving pictures. 1920, The first news program to be broadcast on radio was aired. The station was 8MK in Detroit, MI. 1920, John Lloyd Wright was issued a patent for "Toy-Cabin Construction," which are known as Lincoln Logs. 1935, The act of exporting U.S. arms to belligerents was prohibited by an act signed by U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt. 1946, Superman returned to radio on the Mutual Broadcasting System after being dropped earlier in the year. 1950, Gil Hodges of the Brooklyn Dodgers hit four home runs in a single game off of four different pitchers. 1959, Sandy Koufax set a National League record by striking out 18 batters. 1962, The Caribbean nations Tobago and Trinidad became independent within the British Commonwealth. 1964, California officially became the most populated state in America. 1980, Poland's Solidarity labor movement was born with an agreement signed in Gdansk that ended a 17-day strike. 1981, The 30-year contract between Milton Berle and NBC-TV expired. 1989, Great Britain's Princess Anne and Mark Phillips announced that they were separating. The marriage was 16 years old. 1990, U.N. Secretary-General Javier Perez de Cuellar met with the Iraqi Foreign Minister Tariq Aziz to try and negotiate a solution to the crisis in the Persian Gulf. 1990, East and West Germany signed a treaty that meant the harmonizing of political and legal systems. 1991, Uzbekistan and Kirghiziz declared their independence from the Soviet Union. They were the 9th and 10th republics to announce their plans to secede. 1991, In a "Solidarity Day" protest hundreds of thousands of union members marched in Washington, DC. 1993, Russia withdrew its last soldiers from Lithuania. 1994, A cease-fire was declared by the Irish Republican Army after 25 years of bloodshed in Northern Ireland. 1994, Russia officially ended its military presence in the former East Germany and the Baltics after a half-century. 1998, A ballistic missile was fired over Japan by North Korea. The missile landed in stages in the waters around Japan. There was no known target. 2023, Do smiled. 

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