Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, March 30 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________  Microsoft Called Police after Images Found In One Drive Account  ___________________________________________________ Today, March 30 in 1981 U.S. President Ronald Reagan was shot and wounded in Washington, DC, by John W. Hinckley Jr. Two police officers and Press Secretary James Brady were also wounded. ____________________________________________________ There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes. --- Doctor Who When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. --- Henny Youngman (1906 - 1998) The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it. --- Flannery O'Connor ____________________________________________________ Leroy was in court charged with parking in a restricted area. The judge asked him if he had anything to say in his defense. "They shouldn't put up such misleading notices," said the guy. "The sign said 'FINE FOR PARKING HERE'." ____________________________________________________ Thanks to Lois for this story: I thought I had finally found a way to convince Susan, my continually harried friend, that she needed to find ways to relax. I invited her to dinner and, while I was busy cooking, she agreed to watch my videotape on stress management and relaxation techniques. Fifteen minutes later, she came into the kitdchen and handed me the tape. "It was good," she said, "but I don't need it." "But it's a 70-minute video," I replied. "You couldn't have watched the whole thing." "Yes, I did," Susan assured me. "I put it on fast-forward." ____________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________ A young man visiting a dude ranch wanted to be "Macho", and went out walking with one of the hired hands. Walking through the barnyard, the visitor tried starting a conversation: "Say, look at that big bunch of buffalos." The hired hand replied, "Not 'bunch' but 'herd'." "Heard what?" "Herd of buffalos." "Sure, I've heard of buffalos. There's a big bunch of 'em right over there." __________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Jose Sivira-Molina, 61, Delray Beach, Florida, USA  Microsoft Called Police after Images Found In One Drive Account  A Kings Point Delray Beach resident remains in the Palm Beach County Jail early Monday morning on at least ten charges of possessing child pornography. Jose Sivira-Molina was arrested last week by the Palm Beach County Sheriffs Office. The arrest report was just obtained by BocaNewsNow.com. According to the report, Microsofts detection system alerted that Sivira-Molina was allegedly storing multiple images of young girls engaged in obscene situations in his One Drive account. Microsoft notified police and the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. PBSO obtained a warrant. With the help of Comcast, Sivira-Molina was identified and his location was pinpointed.  
 DearWebby's Tech Support Pits  From: Keith Re: Dual Subscription  Dear Webby I have been receiving two copies of each day's letter. I still wish to receive the daily letter, but only one copy. Thanks, Keith  Dear Keith Down near the bottom you will see the email address that the subscription is for. You probably have two different subscriptions funneling to the same address. Pick the one that you don't want to keep, hit REPLY and tell me which one to knock off. Have FUN! DearWebby 
 The Easterner had always dreamed of owning his own cattle ranch, and finally made enough money to buy his dream spread in Wyoming. "So, what did you name the ranch?" asked his best friend when he flew out to visit "We had a heck of a time," admitted the new cowboy."Couldn't agree on anything. We finally settled on the Double R Lazy L Triple Horseshoe Bar-7 Lucky Diamond Ranch." "Wow!" his friend was impressed. "So where are all the cows?" "When they saw that branding iron, they all ran away." 
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 Years ago, the chaplain of the football team at Notre Dame was a beloved old Irish priest. At confession one day, a football player told the priest that he had acted in an unsportsmanlike-like manner at a recent football game. "I lost my temper and said some bad words to one of my opponents." "Ahhh, that's a terrible thing for a Notre Dame lad to be doin'," the priest said. He took a piece of chalk and drew a mark across the sleeve of his coat. "That's not all, Father. I got mad and punched one of my opponents." "Saints preserve us!" the priest said, making another chalk mark. "There's more. As I got out of a pileup, I kicked two of the other team's players in the ..., in a sensitive area." "Oh, goodness me!" the priest wailed, making two more chalk marks on his sleeve. "Who in the world were we playin' when you did these awful things?" "Southern Methodist." "Ah, well," said the priest, wiping his sleeve, "boys will be boys." ____________________________________________ "What do you love most about me," a husband asked his wife, "my tremendous athletic ability or my superior intellect?" "What I love most about you," responded the man's wife, "is your incredible sense of humor." ____________________________________________ Two rural church deacons who were having a sociable beer in the local tavern when they saw their minister drive by and take a good long look at their pickup trucks parked outside. One deacon ducked down and said, "I hope the reverend didn't see us or recognize my pickup." The other replied indifferently, "What difference does it make. God knows we're in here... and he's the only one who counts." The first deacon countered, "But God won't tell my wife." ____________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
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 Today, March 30 in 1533 Henry VIII divorced his first wife, Catherine of Aragon. 1814 The allied European nations against Napoleon marched into Paris. 1822 Florida became a U.S. territory. 1842 Dr. Crawford W. Long performed the first operation while his patient was anesthetized by ether. 1855 About 5,000 "Border Ruffians" from western Missouri invaded the territory of Kansas and forced the election of a pro-slavery legislature. It was the first election in Kansas. 1856 A peace treaty was signed between England and Russia. 1858 Hyman L. Lipman of Philadelphia patented the pencil. 1867 The U.S. purchased Alaska from Russia for $7.2 million dollars. 1870 The 15th amendment, guaranteeing the right to vote regardless of race, was passed by the U.S. Congress. 1870 Texas was readmitted to the Union. 1903 Revolutionary activity in the Dominican Republic brought U.S. troops to Santo Domingo to protect American interests. 1905 U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt was chosen to mediate in the Russo-Japanese peace talks. 1909 The Queensboro bridge in New York opened linking Manhattan and Queens. It was the first double decker bridge in the US. 1909 In Oklahoma, Seminole Indians revolted against meager pay for government jobs. 1916 Pancho Villa killed 172 at the Guerrero garrison in Mexico. 1936 Britain announced a naval construction program of 38 warships. 1939 The comic book "Detective Comics #27" appeared on newstands. This comic introduced Batman. 1940 The Japanese set up a puppet government called Manchuko in Nanking, China. 1941 The German Afrika Korps under General Erwin Rommel began its first offensive against British forces in Libya. 1944 The U.S. fleet attacked Palau, near the Philippines. 1945 The U.S.S.R. invaded Austria after World War II. 1946 The Allies seized 1,000 Nazis attempting to revive the Nazi party in Frankfurt. 1947 Lord Mountbatten arrived in India as the new Viceroy. 1950 The invention of the phototransistor was announced. 1972 The British government assumed direct rule over Northern Ireland. 1972 The Eastertide Offensive began when North Vietnamese troops crossed into the Demilitarized Zone (DMZ) in the northern portion of South Vietnam. 1975 As the North Vietnamese forces moved toward Saigon South Vietnamese soldiers mob rescue jets in desperation. 1981 U.S. President Ronald Reagan was shot and wounded in Washington, DC, by John W. Hinckley Jr. Two police officers and Press Secretary James Brady were also wounded. 1982 The space shuttle Columbia completed its third and its longest test flight after 8 days in space. 1987 Vincent Van Gogh's "Sunflowers" was bought for $39.85 million. 1993 In Sarajevo, two Serb militiamen were sentenced to death for war crimes committed in Bosnia. 1993 In the Peanuts comic strip, Charlie Brown hit his first home run. 1994 Serbs and Croats signed a cease-fire to end their war in Croatia while Bosnian Muslims and Serbs continued to fight each other. 1998 Rolls-Royce was purchased by BMW in a $570 million deal. 2002 An unmanned U.S. spy plane crashed at sea in the Southern Philippines. 2002 Suspected Islamic militants set off several grenades at a temple in Indian-controlled Kashmir. Four civilians, four policemen and two attackers were killed and 20 people were injured. 2021 Do smiled. 
 
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