Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, March 29 Thank you, Nancy!! Today in March 29 in 1992, Democratic presidential front-runner Bill Clinton said "I didn't inhale and I didn't try it again" in reference to when he had experimented with marijuana. ___________________________________________________ Bonehead Award Delray Beach Man Charged With Murder after he had Bound, Gagged, Killed Victim ___________________________________________________ There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written or badly written. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) It's so much easier to suggest solutions when you don't know too much about the problem. --- Malcolm Forbes (1919 - 1990) Acceptance without proof is the fundamental characteristic of Western religion, rejection without proof is the fundamental characteristic of Western science. --- Gary Zukav ___________________________________________________ Steven confronted his boss and told him: "I think I deserve a raise. You know...there are three companies after me." "Is that so?" asked the manager. "What other companies are after you?" "Well...the electric company, the phone company, and the gas company." ------------------- I have the same problem! ____________________________________________________ One Sunday a priest announced he was passing out minature crosses made of palm leaves. "Put this cross in the room where your family argues most," he advised. "When you look at it, the cross will remind you that God is watching." When the parishoners were leaving church, a woman walked up to the priest, shook his hand and said, "I'll take five." ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what's for lunch. --- Orson Welles ____________________________________________________ WhiteTail Deer, Alberta ___________________________________________________ When Little Johnny's family moved into their new house, a visiting relative asked him how he liked the new place. "It's terrific," he said. "I have my own room, Billy has his own room, and Betty-Sue has her own room. WE can have fun! But poor dad is still stuck in with mom." ____________________________________________________ __For those who thought the hardest part of Physics 101 was the constant conversion from feet and inches to the metric system, including all its Newtons, Joules, and Watts, here are some other useful conversions ;>} Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi 2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: 1 bananosecond Weight an evangelist carries with God: 1 billigram Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 10 nautical miles per hour: Knot-furlong 365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling: 1 lite year 1000 aches: 1 megahurtz Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower 1 million microphones: 1 megaphone 1 million bicycles: 2 megacycles 1 kilogram of falling figs: 1 Fig Newton 1000 grams of wet pants: 1 literhosen 1 millionth of a fish: 1 microfiche 10 rations: 1 decoration 100 rations: 1 C-ration 2 monograms: 1 diagram 100 Senators: 1 doze. __________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Matas Baltus, DELRAY BEACH, Florida, USA Delray Beach Man Charged With Murder, Allegedly Bound, Gagged, Killed Victim Delray Beach resident Matas Baltus is facing a murder charge after investigators with the Palm Beach County Sheriffs Office say he bound, gagged, duct-taped, and wrapped electric cords around a man who he left in a bathroom. That man, identified as Willy Wenji, was dead. BocaNewsNow.com is publishing the entire six-page arrest report filed by PBSO. It details the precision police work that went into investigating the murder and eventually arresting Baltus. The investigation spanned two counties and involved multiple law enforcement agencies. Baltus remains held without bond in the Palm Beach County Jail. The charge: first degree premediated murder. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Olga RE: Dubious emails Dear Webby I keep getting emails from addresses, that I don't know. They try selling everything from weight loss to stop smoking. How did they get my address? How do I sop that garbage? Olga Dear Olga You have a Yahoo adress. Yahoo gets hacked about every second month, and all the adresses harvested and the addresses sold to spammers. Seems to be a lucrative business, because they keep doing that. Some even claim that Yahoo insiders are paricipating. There is nohing you can do about the harvesting. Your remedy is to change your address. Just add a number. Then use Mailwasher to block mail to the old address. You can filter it straight to the trash without even showing in the list. You can still check the trash to see if somebody you know used the old adress. Then you can decide whether you just grin about your MIL's announcement about her plans to visit got trashed, or whether you want to remind her of your address change. Mailwasher is at http://mailwasher.com Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! __________________________________________ A recent bride called her mother one evening in tears. "Oh, Mom, I tried to make Grandmother's meat loaf for dinner tonight, and it's just awful! I followed the recipe exactly, and I know I have the recipe right because it's the one you gave me. But it just didn't come out right, and I'm so upset. I wanted this to be so special for George because he loves meat loaf. What could have gone wrong?" Her mother replied soothingly, "Well, dear, let's go through the recipe. You read it out loud and tell me exactly what you did at each step, and together we'll figure it out." "OK," the bride sniffled. "Well, it starts out, ' Take fifty cents worth of ground beef '..." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
Please donate a dollar,
or two, if you can afford it!
Please, help me stay online!
|
_____________________________________________ An out-of-towner in New York decided to revisit an uptown restaurant he'd enjoyed on a previous trip to the city. Finally catching the eye of an overworked waiter, he said, "You know, it's been over five years since I first came in here." "You'll have to wait your turn, sir," replied the harried waiter. "I can only serve one table at a time." ______________________________________________ "That's real a beautiful fur coat," a friend remarked, "but don't you pity the poor dumb beast who suffered so that you might have it?" The women replied, "Why are you suddenly worried about my husband?" ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
Road signs are a real indication of what an area is like. In Virginia you have signs saying "Deer Crossing". At Yellowstone you have signs saying "Bear Crossing". In Africa you have signs saying "Elephant Crossing". And in Washington DC, you have signs saying "Double Crossing". ___________________________________________________ | Today, March 29, in 1461, Edward IV secured his claim to the English throne by defeating Henry VIs Lancastrians at the battle of Towdon. 1638, First permanent European settlement in Delaware was established. 1847, U.S. troops under General Winfield Scott took possession of the Mexican stronghold at Vera Cruz. 1848, Niagara Falls stopped flowing for one day due to an ice jam. 1867, The British Parliament passed the North America Act to create the Dominion of Canada. 1882, The Knights of Columbus organization was granted a charter by the State of Connecticut. 1901, The first federal elections were held in Australia. 1903, A regular news service began between New York and London on Marconi's wireless. 1906, In the U.S., 500,000 coal miners walked off the job seeking higher wages. 1913, The Reichstag announced a raise in taxes in order to finance the new military budget. 1916, The Italians called off the fifth attack on Isonzo. 1936, Italy firebombed the Ethiopian city of Harar. 1941, The British sank five Italian warships off the Peloponnesus coast in the Mediterranean. 1943, In the U.S. rationing of meat, butter and cheese began during World War II. 1946, Fiorella LaGuardia became the director general of the United Nations Relief and Rehabilitation Organization. 1946, Gold Coast became the first British colony to hold an African parliamentary majority. 1951, The Chinese reject MacArthur's offer for a truce in Korea. 1951, In the United States, Julius and Ethel Rosenberg were convicted of conspiracy to commit espionage. They were executed in June 19, 1953. 1961, The 23rd amendment to the U.S. Constitution was ratified. The amendment allowed residents of Washington, DC, to vote for president. 1962, Cuba opened the trial of the Bay of Pigs invaders. 1966, Leonid Brezhnev became the First Secretary of the Soviet Communist Party. He denounced the American policy in Vietnam and called it one of aggression. 1967, France launched its first nuclear submarine. 1971, Lt. William Calley Jr., of the U.S. Army, was found guilty of the premeditated murder of at least 22 Vietnamese civilians. He was sentenced to life imprisonment. The trial was the result of the My Lai massacre in Vietnam on March 16, 1968. 1971, A jury in Los Angeles recommended the death penalty for Charles Manson and three female followers for the 1969 Tate-La Bianca murders. The death sentences were later commuted to live in prison. 1973, "Hommy," the Puerto Rican version of the rock opera "Tommy," opened in New York City. 1973, The last U.S. troops left South Vietnam. 1974, Mariner 10, the U.S. space probe became the first spacecraft to reach the planet Mercury. It had been launched on November 3, 1973. 1974, Eight Ohio National Guardsmen were indicted on charges stemming from the shooting deaths of four students at Kent State University on May 4, 1970. All the guardsmen were later acquitted. 1975, Egyptian president Anwar Sadat declared that he would reopen the Suez Canal on June 5, 1975. 1979, The Committee on Assassinations Report issued by U.S. House of Representatives stated the assassination of President John F. Kennedy was the result of a conspiracy. 1982, The soap opera "Search for Tomorrow" changed from CBS to NBC. 1983, Erno Rubik was granted a patent for his Magic Cube. (U.S. Patent 4,378,116) 1986, A court in Rome acquitted six men in a plot to kill the Pope. 1987, Hulk Hogan took 11 minutes, 43 seconds to pin Andre the Giant in front of 93,136 at Wrestlemania III fans at the Silverdome in Pontiac, MI. 1992, Democratic presidential front-runner Bill Clinton said "I didn't inhale and I didn't try it again" in reference to when he had experimented with marijuana. 1993, The South Korean government agreed to pay financial support to women who had been forced to have sex with Japanese troops during World War II. 1993, Clint Eastwood won his first Oscars. He won them for best film and best director for the film "Unforgiven." 1995, The U.S. House of Representatives rejected a constitutional amendment that would have limited terms to 12 years in the U.S. House and Senate. 1999, At least 87 people died in an earthquake in India's Himalayan foothills. 1999, The Dow Jones industrial average closed above the 10,000 mark for the first time. 2004, Bulgaria, Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, Romania, Slovakia and Slovenia became members of NATO. 2010, In Japan, the Tokyo Skytree tower became the tallest structure in Japan when it reached 1,109 feet. 2022 Do smiled. |
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Go to TOP
Well, Do , that's all for today.
Have FUN !
Dear Webby from Webby.com
Please give a friend a subscription to the Humor Letter
If the greeting on top does NOT have your first name,
or at least your favorite nickname, please tell me.
I can correct that in two seconds and greet you properly
from then on.
If you want to give a gift subscription to a friend, but don't
have time to subscribe her or him, just hit REPLY and tell me.
I will gladly enter them for you and send them a confirmation request.
To reply to me personally, just hit REPLY or write to humor@webby.com
If you do not normally get the Humor Letter every day, and this was the first time,
then a friend sent you a one time sample or maybe even gave you a gift subscription.
If you like the Humor Letter, then you can subscribe at http://webby.com/sub.html
You can also UNsubscribe there.
If you don't want to receive the Webby Humor Letter,
please unsubscribe by clicking the link below:
You are currently subscribed to the Regular HTML version with this address:
newsletter@newslettercollector.com
UNSUBSCRIBE from the regular HTMLversion Give a friend a free gift subscription to the Humor Letter | . |
