Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, July 10 Thank you, Bonnie !! Dear Karen I am not sure, but I think that is a baby badger. ___________________________________________________ History on this day, July 10, in 1997, Scientists in London said DNA from a Neanderthal skeleton supported a theory that all humanity descended from an "African Eve" 100,000 to 200,000 years ago. 1938 Howard Hughes completed a 91 hour flight around the world. ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award Suspect wanted for double shooting in Pinal County __________________________________________________ Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it. --- Russel Lynes _________________________________________________ "I thought I told you to keep an eye on your cousin," the mother said. "Where is he?" "Well," her son replied thoughtfully, "if he knows as much about canoeing as he thinks he does, he's out canoeing. If he knows as little as I think he does, he's out swimming." __________________________________________________ A woman went to her dentist to have her dentures adjusted for the fifth time. She said they still didnt fit. Well, said the dentist Ill do it again this time, but no more. Theres no reason why these shouldnt fit your mouth easily. Who said anything about my mouth? the woman answered.They dont fit in the glass! __________________________________________________ >Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Oscar Valencia, Pinal county, Arizona, USA  Suspect wanted for double shooting in Pinal County  The Pinal County Sheriff's Office is looking for a man accused of shooting two people in the Winkelman area on July 4. Deputies said Oscar Valencia, 40, shot a 39-year-old man and 38-year-old woman at a home near the Aravaipa RV Park that night before fleeing. The male victim died from his injuries, and the woman is in stable condition. Valencia knew the female victim, but authorities did not disclose any details about their relationship. Valencia fled south down State Route 77 in a silver 2014 Jeep Patriot with license plate DDA1AXA. __________________________________________________ >From Milly My boyfriend and I were lunching at a sidewalk cafe in Huntington Beach, CA. Our waitress looked like a real surfer girl - athletic with a great tan and blond hair. Mulling over the menu, my guy asked her if the roast beef was rare. The waitress gave us a long, blank look, then replied, "Well, no - we have it, like, just about every, like, day." ___________________________________________________ Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn't long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones was having a staggeringly high success-rate, selling insurance to nearly 100% of the recruits he advised. Rather than ask about this, the Captain stood in the back of the room and listened to Jones' sales pitch. Jones explained the basics of the GI Insurance to the new recruits, and then said: "If you have GI Insurance and go into battle and are killed, the government has to pay $200,000 to your beneficiaries. If you don't have GI insurance, and you go into battle and get killed, the government only has to pay a maximum of $6000. Now," he concluded, "which group do you think they are going to send into battle first?" __________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, please hit paypal with it! ___________________________________________________ MONEY It can buy a House But not a Home It can buy a Bed But not Sleep It can buy a Clock But not Time It can buy you a Book But not Knowledge It can buy you a Position But not Respect It can buy you Medicine But not Health It can buy you Blood But not Life So you see money isn't everything. And it often causes pain and suffering. I tell you this because I am your Friend, and as your Friend I want to take away your pain and suffering! So send me all your money and I will suffer for you! Cash or PayPal only please. ____________________________________________________   Ruth DeFoor, Drumheller, AB ___________________________________________________ Search for the perfect woman: 1. It is important to find a woman that cooks and cleans. 2. It is important to find a woman that makes good money. 3. It is important to find a woman that likes to have sex. 4. It is important that these three women never meet. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! _____________________________________________________ "Is there a woman here in need of assistance ?" asked the medic from the ambulance as he knocked on the door. "Yes." replied the man opening the door. "It's my wife. She has an electric vibrator lodged in her." "Well, we'll have to transport her to the hospital." the medic replied. "Those things can be tricky to remove." "Never mind." said the husband. "We have an HMO which doesn't allow Emergency Room visits except for life threatening incidents. But for now, could you at least turn it off ? It's interfering with the TV." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work,Please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it! Please, help me stay online! _____________________________________________________ "Don't worry if your job is small, and your rewards are few. Remember that the mighty oak was once a nut like you!" _____________________________________________________ A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?" Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough." The little girl thought about it for a few moments and said, "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?" ___________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Maggie Re: E-Transfer  Good Morning Webby; Just wondering if you use e-transfer? I don't use paypal. Maggie  Dear Maggie Yes, sure. I use e-transfer for all my utilities and phone and Internet. Just send it to helmut@webby.com Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! _____________________________________________________ >From Eddie Having been married ten years and still living in an apartment,Having been married ten years and still living in an apartment, the wife would often complain about anything, as she was tired of saving every penny to buy a "dream home". Trying to placate her, the husband found a new apartment, within their budget. However, after the first week, she began complaining again. "Joel," she said, "I don't like this place at all. There are no curtains in the bathroom. The neighbors can see me every time I take a bath." "Don't worry." replied her husband. "If the neighbors do see you, THEY will buy curtains." --------------- Did you miss the big fight? ___________________________________________________ Husband: Nancy and Mike make a perfect pair, don't you think? Wife: Yes, I do. He's a pill, and she's a headache. _____________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! _____________________________________________  Jenn Taggart Waterton, AB ____________________________________________________ >From Irene I have changed my system for labeling homemade freezer meals. I used to carefully note in large clear letters, "Meatloaf" or "Pot Roast" or "Steak and Vegetables or "Chicken and Dumplings" or "Beef Pot Pie." However, I used to get frustrated when I asked my husband what he wanted for dinner because he never asked for any of those things. So, I decided to stock the freezer with what he really likes. If you look in my freezer now you'll see a whole new set of labels. You'll find dinners with neat little tags that say: "Whatever," "Anything," "I Don't Know," "I Don't Care," "Something Good," or "Food." My frustration is now reduced because no matter what my husband replies when I ask him what he wants for dinner, I know that it is there waiting. ___________________________________________________ A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious, and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary. Finally John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw up his hands, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly open the freezer door. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arm and said, "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I am sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior." John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued, "May I ask what the chicken did?" ______________________________________________________ 
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 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 
 Today, July 10, in 1609, The Catholic states in Germany set up a league under the leadership of Maximillian of Bavaria. 1679, The British crown claimed New Hampshire as a royal colony. 1776, The statue of King George III was pulled down in New York City. 1778, In support of the American Revolution, Louis XVI declared war on England. 1821, U.S. troops took possession of Florida. The territory was sold by Spain. 1866, Edison P. Clark patented his indelible pencil. 1890, Wyoming became the 44th state to join the United States. 1900, His Masters Voice, was registered with the U.S. Patent Office. The logo of the Victor Recording Company, and later, RCA Victor, shows the dog, Nipper, looking into the horn of a gramophone machine. 1910, W.R. Brookins became the first to fly an airplane at an altitude of one mile. 1913, The highest temperature ever recorded in the U.S. was 134 degrees in Death Valley, CA. 1919, The Treaty of Versailles was hand delivered to the U.S. Senate by President Wilson. 1925, The official news agency of the Soviet Union, TASS, was established. 1928, George Eastman first demonstrated color motion pictures. 1938, Howard Hughes completed a 91 hour flight around the world. 1940, The 114-day Battle of Britain began during World War II. 1947, Saab introduced the Model 92 prototype as its first automobile. 1949, The first practical rectangular television was presented. The picture tube measured 12 by 16 and sold for $12. 1951, Armistice talks aimed at ending the Korean conflict began at Kaesong. 1951, Sugar Ray Robinson was defeated for only the second time in 133 fights as Randy Turpin took the middleweight crown. 1953, American forces withdraw from Pork Chop Hill in Korea after heavy fighting. 1962, The Telstar Communications satellite was launched. The satellite relayed TV and telephone signals between Europe and the U.S. 1962, Fred Baldasare swam the English Channel underwater. It was a 42 miles and took 18 hours. 1973, Britain granted the Bahamas their independence after three centuries of British colonial rule. 1985, Coca-Cola resumed selling the old formula of Coke, it was renamed "Coca-Cola Classic." It was also announced that they would continue to sell "New" Coke. 1990, Mikhail Gorbachev won re-election as the leader of the Soviet Communist Party. 1991, Boris Yeltsin took the oath of office as the first elected president of the Russian republic. 1991, U.S. President Bush lifted economic sanctions against South Africa, citing its "profound transformation" toward racial equality. 1997, Scientists in London said DNA from a Neanderthal skeleton supported a theory that all humanity descended from an "African Eve" 100,000 to 200,000 years ago. 1998, The World Bank approved a $700 million loan to Thailand. 1998, The U.S. military delivered the remains of Air Force 1st Lt. Michael Blassie to his family in St. Louis. He had been placed in Arlington Cemetery's Tomb of the Unknown in 1984. His identity had been confirmed with DNA tests. 1999, The heads of six African nations that had troops in the Democratic Republic of the Congo signed a cease-fire agreement that would end the civil war in that nation. 2002, Peter Paul Rubens' painting "The Massacre of the Innocents" sold for $76.2 million at Sotheby's. 2015, In South Carolina, the Confederate flag was removed for the last time from the Capitol grounds and taken to a state military museum 2022 Do! smiled. 

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!