Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, July 2 THANK YOU Bonita !! THANK YOU Bonie ! ___________________________________________________ Today, July 2 in 1982 Larry Walters ("Lawnchair Larry") took flight in his homeade airship that consisted of a lawnchair with 45 helium-filled weather balloons attached to it. He stayed in flight for about an hour. _____________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award: 63 shopper brutally murdered two children for admiringly asking how tall he was ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________________ Inanimate objects are classified scientifically into three major categories - those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost. --- Russell Baker (1925 - ) _____________________________________________________ Sven and Ole worked together and both were laid off, so off they went to the unemployment office. Asked his occupation, Ole said, "Panty stitcher; I sew the elastic onto cotton panties." The clerk looked up panty stitcher. Finding it classified as unskilled labor, she gave him $300 a week unemployment pay. Sven was asked his occupation. "Diesel fitter," he replied. Since diesel fitter was a skilled job, the clerk gave Sven $600 a week. When Ole found out, he was furious! He stormed back into the unemployment office to find out why his friend and co- worker was collecting twice his pay. The clerk explained that panty stitchers were unskilled and diesel fitters were skilled labor. "What skill?" yelled Ole. "I sew the elastic on, Sven pulls it over his head and says.......Yep, diesel fitter!" _____________________________________________________ Photo by Sunny Lo Eastern Kingbird, with the red crown showing, pilots a Red-tailed Hawk. NE of Calgary, June 27th, 2020 ___________________________________________________ >From Eve Men Bashing ~ If you want a nice man, go for a bald one ... they try harder. ~ Go for younger men. You might as well ... they never mature anyway. ~ A woman's work that is never done, is the stuff she asked her husband to do. ~ Women don't make fools of men ... most of them are the do-it-yourself types. ~ Scientists have just discovered something that can do the work of five men ... a woman. ~ There are a lot of words you can use to describe men ... strong,caring, loving ... they'd be wrong but you could still use them! ~ Men's brains are like the prison system ... not enough cells per man. ~ Never trust a man who says he's the boss at home. He probably lies about other things too. ~ Men are like animals ... messy, insensitive and potentially violent but they make great pets! ~ Whenever you meet a man who would make a good husband, you will usually find that he is. ~ Husbands are like children ... they're fine if they're someone else's. ~ The best reason to divorce a man is a health reason: you've gotten sick of him. ~ Men are all the same ... they just have different faces so you can tell them apart. ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Laroy Battle, 19, GUN FREE Chicago, Illinois, USA 63 shopper brutally murdered two children for admiringly asking how tall he was A 63 shop customer murdered a 16 year-old boy and his 17 year-old friend for asking how tall he was, police say. Laroy Battle, 19, allegedly shot Charles Riley, 16, and Jasean Francis, 17, dead on June 20 after they asked him the question while buying candy at the store in Chicago. After the boys queried Battle about his height inside the store, he reportedly followed them out afterwards and fired nine rounds at them, killing both. Riley was struck in the back and left leg, while Francis was shot in the back, chest and left hand. Both boys were rushed to hospital, where efforts to save them proved unsuccessful. Neither of the kids knew Battle before their murders. Chicagos Deputy Chief of Detectives Brendan Deenihan told WLS: The victims commented because, since Battle is quite tall, and they asked him how tall he was, and, you know, hoped to be that tall someday. And unfortunately, obviously, well never see the full growth of these poor children. Both boys were described as very good kids from excellent families who were running errands for their mothers at the time of their murders. Battle was arrested after locals recognized him from surveillance footage released by police. The Chicago Sun Times reported that he admitted being the person on the surveillance footage, but said that he has yet to offer a motive for the shootings. Battle, who has a previous weapons conviction, faces two counts of first-degree murder. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Evie Re: Edge browser DearWebby, I had a good laugh about Helen and her jury duty scammer. Serves him right! New question: Edge Browser My W10 suddenly rebooted for no reason at all, like it does now and then just to remind me who owns me and my computer, and it came up with the Microsoft Edge browser. I was totally pissed about having that installed without asking me. Is it scam ware? Or is it safe enough? I am normally using Chrome and FireFox. Evie Dear Evie I agree it is very rude and uncivilized to install that on you without asking. However, it seems to copy all your settings and bookmarks from Chrome, and do it's best to hide the fact, that you are no longer in Chrome. About the only way you can tell that Microsoft is now controlling and recording your browsing is by clicking the 3 little dots in the right hand top. In there, at the very bottom they timidly admit that you are in Edge. It seems rather sleazy, but it works OK and gets along with W10. Nothing to panic about. They are not spying on you any more than Chrome was, but since you are not a dope dealing terrorist anymore, don't worry about it. Have FUN! DearWebby | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ A Catholic boy was bragging to his Jewish friend. "My priest knows more than your rabbi." "Of course he does," said the Jewish boy. "You tell him everything." _____________________________________________ Two men were at the bar talking about marriage. "I'm seriously thinking about tying the knot," said Jim. His buddy, Bob told him, "You may wish to consider contacting a local group. With the divorce rate so high in America, a new organization has been formed called, "Marriage Anonymous." "Oh really?" Jim said, "What do they do?" "Whenever a man feels like getting married, they send over a woman wearing a torn house-coat, with curlers in her hair and cream on her face, and she tries to nag him out of it,".Bob replied. ____________________________________________ Little Do asked the librarian how to use the card catalog. After pouring over the little drawers full of cards Do approached the librarian again, wanting to know how to spell "tequila." "T-e-q-u-i-l-a," spelled the librarian, and Little went back to the search. A short time later Do came to the desk, looking quite upset. "I just can't find it." "What book are you looking for?" the librarian asked. "Tequila Mockingbird." | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today July 2 in 1298 An army under Albert of Austria defeated and killed Adolf of Nassua near Worms, Germany. 1625 The Spanish army took Breda, Spain, after nearly a year of siege. 1644 Lord Cromwell crushed the Royalists at the Battle of Marston Moor near York, England. 1747 Marshall Saxe led the French forces to victory over an Anglo-Dutch force under the Duke of Cumberland at the Battle of Lauffeld. 1776 Richard Henry Lees resolution that the American colonies "are, and of right ought to be, free and independent States" was adopted by the Continental Congress. 1850 Prussia agreed to pull out of Schlewig and Holstein, Germany. 1850 Benjamin Lane patented a gas mask with a breathing apparatus. (Patent US7476 A) 1857 New York Citys first elevated railroad officially opened for business. 1858 Czar Alexander II freed the serfs working on imperial lands. 1881 Charles J. Guiteau fatally wounded U.S. President James A. Garfield in Washington, DC. 1890 The U.S. Congress passed the Sherman Antitrust Act. 1926 The U.S. Congress established the Army Air Corps. 1937 American aviation pioneer Amelia Earhart disappeared in the Central Pacific during an attempt to fly around the world at the equator. 1939 At Mount Rushmore, Theodore Roosevelt's face was dedicated. 1944 American bombers, as part of Operation Gardening, dropped land mines, leaflets and bombs on German-occupied Budapest. 1947 An object crashed near Roswell, NM. The U.S. Army Air Force insisted it was a weather balloon, but eyewitness accounts led to speculation that it might have been an alien spacecraft. 1962 Wal-Mart Discount City opened in Rogers, Arkansas. It was the first Walmart store. 1964 U.S. President Johnson signed the "Civil Rights Act of 1964" into law. The act made it illegal in the U.S. to discriminate against others because of their race. 1967 The U.S. Marine Corps launched Operation Buffalo in response to the North Vietnamese Army's efforts to seize the Marine base at Con Thien. 1976 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled the death penalty was not inherently cruel or unusual. 1976 North Vietnam and South Vietnam were reunited. 1980 U.S. President Jimmy Carter reinstated draft registration for males 18 years of age. 1981 Soyuz T-6 returned to Earth. 1982 Larry Walters ("Lawnchair Larry") took flight in his homeade airship that consisted of a lawnchair with 45 helium-filled weather balloons attached to it. He stayed in flight for about an hour. 1985 General Motors announced that it was installing electronic road maps as an option in some of its higher- priced cars. 1995 "Forbes" magazine reported that Microsoft's chairman, Bill Gates, was worth $12.9 billion, making him the world's richest man. He has not been that poor since then. 1998 Cable News Network (CNN) retracted a story that alleged that U.S. commandos had used nerve gas to kill American defectors during the Vietnam War. 2000 In Mexico, Vicente Fox Quesada of the National Action Party (PAN) defeated Francisco Labastida Ochoa of the Institutional Revolutionary Party (PRI) in the presidential election. The PRI had controlled the presidency in Mexico since the party was founded in 1929. 2020 Do smiled. |
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