Good Morning, Do! ! Today is Wednesday, April 5 ___________________________________________________ History: Today, Aril 5 in 1951, Americans Julius and Ethel Rosenberg were sentenced to death for committing espionage for the Soviet Union. ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award: Chandler police take shooting suspect into custody _____________________________________________ Q People often write me and ask how I keep my wood floors so clean when I live with a child and a dog, and my answer is that I use a technique called Suffering From a Mental Illness. --- Heather Armstrong I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it. --- Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826) _____________________________________________________ Laura was attending her High School reunion and was having a blast. As the evening was drawing to a close, the master of ceremonies for the night proceeded to hand out bottles of champagne to the graduates who had traveled the farthest distance to attend the reunion, the graduate who had been married the longest time, the graduate who had become the most successful, etc. Laura wondered if she was going to get a prize too. Sure enough, the master of ceremonies called out her name. "Laura, you win with 11 kids." and then, trying to be clever, he added in "And champagne is only half the prize. The other half is a giant, economy size bottle of aspirin." "Don't bother with the aspirin," Laura replied. "It's obvious with these many kids that I've never had a headache." ______________________________________________________ Keli and Greg were involved in a petty argument, both of them unwilling to admit they might be in error. "I'll admit I'm wrong," said Keli in a conciliatory attempt, "if you'll admit I'm right." Greg agreed and, like the dear he is, insisted Keli go first. "I'm wrong," Keli said. With a twinkle in his eye, Greg responded, "You're right!" ___________________________________________________  Tetons ____________________________________________________ Recently in Traffic Court, a man who received an expensive parking ticket testified that a uniformed Policeman had given his OK for the man to park there. The Judge asked the man if he would recognize the Officer if he ever saw him again, and the man replied that he would. The Judge then said, "Good. When you see the Officer again, tell him he owes you 57 dollars. Next..." ____________________________________________________  Ana Corbett ____________________________________________________ A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait. Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point." The next class the professor handed the tests back out. This student got back his test and $64 change. _______________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been reported by Rock  Alan Hunter Burgener, 40, Chandler, Arizona, USA Chandler police take shooting suspect into custody Man was wanted for shooting a woman, stealing a vehicle Monday Chandler police say a man wanted in connection to a shooting that happened on Monday near Dobson and Ray roads is now in custody. According to police, 40-year-old Alan Burgener was involved in a shooting with officers on Tuesday afternoon and was taken into custody. Nobody was injured in the shooting involving officers. We can confirm that Alan Burgener is in custody. An officer involved shooting did occur, but neither Alan nor the involved officers were injured. There will be a heavy police presence in the area while this investigation is conducted. Man was wanted for shooting a woman, stealing a vehicle Monday Man accused of shooting woman found a day later near Dobbins and Ray roads. Alan Burgener.pngDobson and Ray incident By: Clayton KlapperPosted at 11:27 AM, Mar 27, 2023 and last updated 11:20 PM, Mar 28, 2023 CHANDLER, AZ Chandler police say a man wanted in connection to a shooting that happened on Monday near Dobson and Ray roads is now in custody. According to police, 40-year-old Alan Burgener was involved in a shooting with officers on Tuesday afternoon and was taken into custody. Nobody was injured in the shooting involving officers. Chandler police gave an update on this incident Tuesday afternoon: Aerial footage from the neighborhood Tuesday afternoon shows a street blocked off and a heavy police presence in the area. Burgener is accused of shooting a woman during a physical altercation between the two on Monday. Burgener and the victim are known to each other, according to police. The victim was reportedly taken to a hospital for treatment for non-life-threatening injuries. Police say Burgener then stole a 2017 silver Ford Mustang from a nearby resident Monday. As police searched for Burgener Tuesday, they say a tip was called in from a member of the public that led them to a home where Burgener was located. According to police, one officer shot at Burgener several times but he was not shot. Burgener was taken into custody and was hospitalized for unrelated medical issues. _________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits Dear Webby CALLER: "Can I email an attachment to my daughter in France?" BUZZY: "Sure, if she has an email address and her ISP allows attachements. What is the size of the attachement?" CALLER: "Oh, a medium sized box. It has her Mothers day gifts in it and I don't want anything to get broken." TINA: "I'm sorry, Buzzy had to be taken to the hospital. Looks like he will need a hernia transplant." Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Today, April 5 in 1242, Russian troops repelled an invasion attempt by the Teutonic Knights. 1614, American Indian Pocahontas married English colonist John Rolfe in Virginia. 1621, The Mayflower sailed from Plymouth, MA, on a return trip to England. 1806, Isaac Quintard patented the cider mill. 1843, Queen Victoria proclaimed Hong Kong to be a British crown colony. 1869, Daniel Bakeman, the last surviving soldier of the U.S. Revolutionary War, died at the age of 109. 1887, Anne Sullivan taught Helen Keller the meaning of the word "water" as spelled out in the manual alphabet. 1892, Walter H. Coe patented gold leaf in rolls. 1892, In New York, the Ithaca Daily Journal published an ad introducing a new 10 cent Ice Cream Specialty called a Cherry Sunday. 1908, The Japanese Army reached the Yalu River as the Russians retreated. 1919, Eamon de Valera became president of Ireland. 1923, Firestone Tire and Rubber Company began the first regular production of balloon tires. 1930, Mahatma Ghandi defied British law by making salt in India. 1933, The first operation to remove a lung was performed at Barnes Hospital in St. Louis, MO. 1941, German commandos secured docks along the Danube River in preparation for Germany's invasion of the Balkans. 1951, Americans Julius and Ethel Rosenberg were sentenced to death for committing espionage for the Soviet Union. 1953, Jomo Kenyatta was convicted and sentenced to 7 years in prison for orchestrating the Mau-Mau rebellion in Kenya. 1955, Winston Churchill resigned as British prime minister. 1985, John McEnroe said "any man can beat any woman at any sport, especially tennis." 1986, A discotheque in Berlin was bombed by Libyan terrorists. The U.S. attacked Libya with warplanes in retaliation on April 15, 1986. 1987, FOX Broadcasting Company launched "Married....With Children" and "The Tracey Ullman Show". The two shows were the beginning of the FOX lineup. 1989, In Poland, accords were signed between Solidarity and the government that set free elections for June 1989. The eight-year ban on Solidarity was also set to be lifted. 1998, The Akashi Kaikyo Bridge in Japan opened becoming the largest suspension bridge in the world. It links Shikoku and Honshu. The bridge cost about $3.8 billion. 1999, Two Libyans suspected of bombing a Pan Am jet in 1988 were handed over so they could be flown to the Netherlands for trial. 270 people were killed in the bombing. 1999, In Laramie, WY, Russell Henderson pled guilty to kidnapping and felony murder in the death of Matthew Shepard. 2004, Near Mexico City's international airport, lightning struck the jet Mexican President Vicente Fox was on. 2009, North Korea launched the Kwangmyongsong-2 rocket, prompting an emergency meeting of the United Nations Security Council. 2023, Do smiled.
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