Dear Webby's Humor Letter
widely read, forwarded, copied and imitated daily since 1994
Dear Webby's Humor Letter, daily since 1994
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Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, January 14

1411
Ophelia DingbatterIf you like my work,
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___________________________________________________ History: on this day, January 13, in 1994, U.S. President Clinton and Russian President Boris Yeltsin signed Kremlin accords to stop aiming missiles at any nation and to dismantle the nuclear arsenal of Ukraine. ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award: Trafficking suspect in Scottsdale arrested after neighbor noticed something was 'off' _____________________________________________________ Q Knowledge is power, if you know it about the right person. --- Ethel Mumford Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish. --- Euripides (484 BC - 406 BC) In journalism, there has always been a tension between getting it first and getting it right. --- Ellen Goodman (1941 - ) ____________________________________________________ My Dad and I were talking the other night about love and marriage. He told me that he knew as early as their wedding what marriage to my Mom would be like. It seems the minister asked my Mom, "Do you take this man to be your husband." And she said, "I do." Then the minister asked my Dad, "Do you take this woman to be your wife," and my Mom said, "He better! Or else..." __________________________________________________ A teacher was taking her first golf lesson. "Is the word spelled 'put' or 'putt'?" she asked the instructor. "'Putt' is correct," he replied. "'Put' means to place a thing where you want it. 'Putt' means a klutzy but unsuccessful attempt to do the same thing." __________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An International Bonehead Award has been earned by Steven Hurry, Scottsdale, Arizona, USA Trafficking suspect in Scottsdale arrested after neighbor noticed something was 'off' A neighbor who felt something was "off" was able to help a woman who was being trafficked by a man in Scottsdale, the police department said. The suspect, Steven Hurry, was reportedly arguing with the woman outside a home when the neighbor noticed something was "off" between the two. Police were called to investigate, and the woman told officers she was being trafficked by Hurry. "I saw a bunch of police cars a couple of weeks ago. I don't know if it had to do with the same thing. A couple of rows, houses down and they were there for several hours and I had no idea what it was," a neighbor said. "You never think it would be happening right next door, a neighbor or Airbnb, or anything going on this close to you." Hurry was arrested and booked into jail on suspicion of sex trafficking, pandering, sexual abuse, aggravated assault, assault, criminal damage and disorderly conduct. Details on the alleged abuse Court documents submitted by the Scottsdale Police Department say Hurry and the victim lived together since May 2022 in California after she began as a housekeeper. On May 25, Hurry reportedly asked her to come with him to Arizona to make money. They first stayed in Tucson. That's where police say Hurry convinced the victim to let him take photos of her for an ad he was going to create to offer her to others for sex acts. "She described making $700 the first time for sexual intercourse in 20 minutes with an unknown male subject, and the defendant took the entire $700. After this, the defendant collected the victim's birth certificate, social security card and other forms of ID and credentials and secured them in a box," the report read. The victim never had access to the box. While in Tucson, police say the victim was forced to have sex with men for money and if she was short on money or didn't place the money in the location Hurry wanted, he would beat her. In late November 2022, Hurry and the victim moved to Scottsdale, staying at the Roadway Inn. "The defendant created and posted ads containing the victim's photographs and advertising sex in the exchange of money, which included $350 per hour for full sex or a quick visit, 15 minutes, for $120," police alleged. ___________________________________________________ >From Linda ___________________________________________________ It's comforting to know that real estate agents are required to be more candid about the properties they represent these days. A Newport Beach, California Internet listing of a duplex revealed that the other inhabitant possessed two cats and "a Scottish terrorist." Taken from Steve Harvey's column in the LA Times. ------------------------------------ Well you got to watch those Scots. There is aparently no sound on earth more terrifying than a bunch of Scots coming home from the bar and deciding to practise their bagpipes indoors. ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ From Linda _______________________________________________ George had minor surgery after a bad accident and gets on the bus one afternoon. He looks quite bedraggled and more like he had been in a bar fight than being hit by a cab, and is still a bit groggy from the anesthetic staggers up the aisle, and sits down next to an elderly woman. She looks George up and down and screeches at him: "I've got news for you. You're going straight to hell!" George jumps up out of his seat and shouts: "Hold it, driver. I'm on the wrong bus! I don't wanna go where SHE goes!" ____________________________________________________ Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about a word his lover said. After marriage, he'll fall asleep before his wife finishes talking. __________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! _____________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits FROM: Megan RE: is Email Tax really coming? Dear Webby I keep getting emails claiming that the guvermint will start an email tax to pay for the national deficit. Is there any truth to that? Megan (NOT Meghan!) Dear Megan The email tax hoax has been around since the early 90s. Tell them that is only partially true and that only spam will be taxed. Have FUN DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A Hunter walking through the jungle found a huge dead dinosaur with a pigmy standing beside it. Amazed, he asked: "Did you kill that?". The pigmy said "Yes." The hunter asked "How could a little guy like you kill a huge beast like that?" said the pigmy: "With my club." The astonished hunter asked: "How big is your club?" The pigmy replied: "There's about 60 of us." ____________________________________________________ Today, January 14 in 1639, Connecticut's first constitution, the "Fundamental Orders," was adopted. 1784, The United States ratified a peace treaty with England ending the Revolutionary War. 1858, French emperor Napoleon III escaped an attempt on his life. 1873, John Hyatt's 1869 invention Celluloid was registered as a trademark. 1878, Alexander Graham Bell demonstrated the telephone for Britain's Queen Victoria. 1882, The Myopia Hunt Club, in Winchester, MA, became the first country club in the United States. 1907, An earthquake killed over 1,000 people in Kingston, Jamaica. 1939, "Honolulu Bound" was heard on CBS radio for the first time. 1943, U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt became the first U.S. President to fly in an airplane while in office. He flew from Miami, FL, to French Morocco where he met with British Prime Minister Winston Churchill to discuss World War II. 1953, Josip Broz Tito was elected president of Yugoslavia by the country's Parliament. 1954, Marilyn Monroe and Joe DiMaggio were married. The marriage only lasted nine months. 1954, The Hudson Motor Car Company merged with Nash- Kelvinator. The new company was called the American Motors Corporation. 1963, George C. Wallace was sworn in as governor of Alabama. 1969, An explosion aboard the U.S. aircraft carrier Enterprise off Hawaii killed 25 crew members. 1985, Martina Navratilova won her 100th tournament. She joined Jimmy Connors and Chris Evert Lloyd as the only professional tennis players to win 100 tournaments. 1986, "Rambo: First Blood, Part II" arrived at video stores. It broke the record set by "Ghostbusters", for first day orders. 435,000 copies of the video were sold. 1993, The British government pledged to introduce legislation to criminalize invasions of privacy by the press. 1994, U.S. President Clinton and Russian President Boris Yeltsin signed Kremlin accords to stop aiming missiles at any nation and to dismantle the nuclear arsenal of Ukraine. 1996, Jorge Sampaio was elected president of Portugal. 1996, Juan Garcia Abrego was arrested by Mexican agents. The alleged drug lord was handed over to the FBI the next day. 1998, Whitewater prosecutors questioned Hillary Rodham Clinton at the White House for 10 minutes about the gathering of FBI background files on past Republican political appointees. 1998, In Dallas, researchers report an enzyme that slows the aging process and cell death. 1999, The impeachment trial of U.S. President Clinton began in Washington, DC. 1999, The U.S. proposed the lifting of the U.N. ceilings on the sale of oil in Iraq. The restriction being that the money be used to buy medicine and food for the Iraqi people. 2000, A U.N. tribunal sentenced five Bosnian Croats to up to 25 years for the 1993 massacre of over 100 Muslims in a Bosnian village. 2002, NBC's "Today" celebrated its 50th anniversary on television. 2002, Actor Brad Renfro, 19, was arrested after being stopped on a traffic violation. He was charged with public intoxication and driving without a license. 2004, In St. Louis, a Lewis and Clark Exhibition opened at the Missouri History Museum. The exhibit featured 500 rare and priceless objects used by the Corps of Discovery. 2005, A probe, from the Cassini-Huygens mission, sent back pictures during and after landing on Saturn's moon Titan. The mission was launched on October 15, 1997. 2022 Do smiled.
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