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 Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, June 16 Have FUN! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Fake California cop arrested thanks to smart mother Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, June 16 in 1976 In Soweto, thousands of school children revolted against the South African government's plan to enforce Afrikaans as the language for instruction in black schools.  More of today in history at HIstory ______________________________________________________ 
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 ______________________________________________________ Ronnie Shakes Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff. --- Frank Zappa (1940 - 1993) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ How many members of your sign does it take to change a light bulb? ARIES: Just one. You want to make something of it? TAURUS: One, but just try to convince them that the burned- out bulb is useless and should be thrown away. GEMINI: Two, but the job never gets done -- they just keep discussing who is supposed to do it and how it's supposed to be done! CANCER: Just one. But it takes a therapist three years to help them through the grieving process. LEO: Leos don't change light bulbs, although sometimes their agent will get a Virgo in to do the job for them while they're out. VIRGO: Approximately 1.000000 with an error of +/- one millionth. LIBRA: Er, two. Or maybe one. No, on second thought, make that two. Is that okay with you? SCORPIO: That information is strictly secret and shared only with the Enlightened Ones in the Star Chamber of the Ancient Hierarchical Order. SAGITTARIUS: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb? CAPRICORN: I don't waste my time with these childish jokes. AQUARIUS: Well, you have to remember that everything is energy, so.... PISCES: Light bulb? What light bulb? Too true! However, I HAVE finally tossed all burned out lightbulbs! I might need some help getting rid of all the empty cardboard boxes, though. _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________   KLUNK! _____________________________________________________ 
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 _____________________________________________________ A woman in our diet club was lamenting that she had gained weight. She'd made her family's favorite cake over the weekend, she reported, and they'd eaten half of it at dinner. Her husband teased her and said she would never be able to stay away from the other half until dinner the next night. The next day, she said, she kept staring at the other half, until finally she cut a thin slice for herself. One slice led to another, and soon the whole cake was gone. The woman went on to tell us how upset she was with her lack of willpower, and how she knew her husband would rub it in. Everyone commiserated, until someone asked what her husband said when he found out. She smiled. "He never found out. I made another cake and ate half!" ____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Juan Rodriguez, Los Angeles, California  Fake California cop arrested thanks to smart mother  A California woman was praised for her momma bear instincts after she distracted a gun-toting fake cop who was terrorizing her husband and four children on Sunday by simply offering him a taco, police said. The family was enjoying carne asada tacos and soda from a food truck in the City of Industry in Los Angeles County around 6:30 p.m. when a dangerous stranger approached the family and began terrorizing them, police said in a news release Monday. The family had stopped to get food after a day at the waterpark. The man, identified as Juan Rodriguez, allegedly claimed to be an undercover cop and flashed his gun concealed on his waistband and flashed a badge in an attempt to prove his identity, police said. The mother, however, saw right through the disguise, police said. The mother instantly began to put together a plan in place to distance her husband, three daughters and toddler who was still buckled in his car seat inches away from the man with a gun, police said. The mother, going for the "taco tactic," offered the 38-year-old suspect a taco and told him she needed to grab napkins from the food truck. The man with the gun continued to flash his gun and ransack through the mother's purse as she walked away, the news release stated. The mother approached customers at the taco truck, told them not too look a back and told them a man with a gun was threatening her family. The taco truck employees and customers immediately called 911. Police found Rodriguez standing next to the family's van when they arrived at the scene. Rodriguez allegedly tried to escape by tossing his gun in the van and trying to get in. Deputies were able to detain the suspect before anything further occurred. Deputies recovered the gun and made sure all family members were unharmed, police said. Rodriguez was charged with child endangerment, impersonation an officer and outstanding warrants. 
 Tech Support Pits From: Richard Re: End to spam  Dear Webby, is there any hope that spam will ever decrease? Richard  Dear Richard Yes, sure, there is always hope. Just rent more senators than the spammers do. (You can't buy them any more, because they won't stay bought, but you can rent them.) As it is, there are spammers suing people who get them kicked out from their servers, claiming that they are protected by the U-CAN-SPAM law. Unless you have more money than the spammers, about all you can do now is to get some good spam control software like FireTrust Mail Washer and get good at tuning it. It's easy enough for anybody to make filters with it, and some people even treat it as a challenging game to stay ahead of the spammers and trash their stuff, unseen. Have FUN DearWebby  
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 A couple moved to the country when they retired. One mild winter, they had a bit of a problem with rodents in the garage. So they bought one of those little sub-sonic mouse repellants, the kind you plug in and they emit some kind of sound that drives off mice. The husband was showing it to their neighbor and explaining that it was an animal repellant. He told her that it worked on every thing from mice to elephants. "Really!?" she said, "Mice to elephants, eh." sounding a bit skeptical. "Yes," he replied, seriously. "We've had it here for a couple of weeks now and we haven't had a single elephant in the garage the whole time!" 
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 >From Bill In a misguided burst of creativity, I installed a night-light into a conch shell I found on the beach. My wife took an instant dislike to it, and at the next yard sale, it was the first thing she put out. I felt vindicated when a woman kept coming back to check it out and finally bought it. "That'll look great in your home," I said. "Oh," she replied. "It's not for me." My bridge club is having a charity sale, and we were asked to bring the most hideous thing we could find. What I have here is the winner!" ____________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Baking Soda and Dawn For Clothing Stains A great way to remove clothing stains is to mix baking soda and dish soap (Dawn) into a paste. Brush it into the stain and let sit, depending on the severity of stain. Leave the paste in and wash clothes as usual, works great. By Shirley  Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com  ____________________________________________________   
13 things found on the internet today. 
 ___________________________________________________ "How was your golf game, dear?" asked Jack's wife Tracy. "Well, I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight's gotten so bad I couldn't see where the ball went." "But you're seventy-five years old, Jack!" admonished his wife, "Why don't you take my brother Scott along?" "But he's eighty-five and doesn't even play golf anymore," protested Jack. "But he's got perfect eyesight. He could watch your ball," Tracy pointed out. The next day Jack teed off with Scott looking on. Jack swung, and the ball disappeared down the middle of the fairway. "Do you see it?" asked Jack. "Yup," Scott answered. "Well, where is it?" yelled Jack, peering off into the distance. "Where is what ?", Scott answered. "My ball! My golf ball!" "Oh, I don't know. I was watching that cute lady over there. Her ball went into the water." ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great deal of money. The distributor noticed that the previous bill hadn't been paid. The collections manager left a voice-mail for them saying, "We can't ship your new order until you pay for the last one." The next day the collections manager received a collect phone call, "Please cancel the order. We can't wait that long. ____________________________________________________  
 Today, June 16 in 0455 Rome was sacked by the Vandal army. 1487 The War of the Roses ended with the Battle of Stoke. 1567 Mary, Queen of Scots, was imprisoned in Lochleven Castle in Scotland. 1815 Napoleon defeated the Prussians at the Battle of Ligny, Netherlands. 1858 In a speech in Springfield, IL, U.S. Senate candidate Abraham Lincoln said the slavery issue had to be resolved. He declared, "A house divided against itself cannot stand." 1884 At Coney Island, in Brooklyn, NY, the first roller coaster in America opened. 1897 The U.S. government signed a treaty of annexation with Hawaii. 1903 Ford Motor Company was incorporated. 1907 The Russian czar dissolved the Duma in St. Petersburg. 1909 Glenn Hammond Curtiss sold his first airplane, the "Gold Bug" to the New York Aeronautical Society for $5,000. 1922 Henry Berliner accomplished the first US helicopter flight at College Park, MD. 1925 France accepted a German proposal for a security pact. 1932 The ban on Nazi storm troopers was lifted by the von Papen government in Germany. 1940 Marshal Henri-Philippe Petain became the prime minister of the Vichy government of occupied France. 1941 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt ordered the closure of all German consulates in the United States. The deadline was set as July 10. 1952 "Anne Frank: Diary of a Young Girl" was published in the United States. 1955 The U.S. House of Representatives voted to extend Selective Service until 1959. 1955 Pope Pius XII excommunicated Argentine President Juan Peron. The ban was lifted eight years later. 1955 Argentine naval officers launched an attack on President Juan Peron's headquarters. The revolt was suppressed by the army. 1961 Rudolf Nureyev defected from the Soviet Union while in Paris, traveling with the Leningrad Kirov Ballet. 1963 26-year-old Valentina Tereshkova went into orbit aboard the Vostok 6 spacecraft for three days. She was the first female space traveler. 1972 Ulrike Meinhof was captured by West German police in Hanover. She was co-founder of the Baader-Meinhof terrorist group and the Red Army Faction (Rote Armee Fraktion). 1975 The Simonstown agreement on naval cooperation between Britain and South Africa ended. The agreement was formally ended by mutual agreement after 169 years. 1976 In Soweto, thousands of school children revolted against the South African government's plan to enforce Afrikaans as the language for instruction in black schools. 1977 Leonid Brezhnev was named the first Soviet president of the USSR. He was the first person to hold the post of president and Communist Party General Secretary. He replaced Nikolai Podgorny. 1978 U.S. President Carter and Panamanian leader Omar Torrijos ratified the Panama Canal treaties. 1983 Yuri Andropov was elected chairman of the Presidium of the Supreme Soviet. The position was the equivalent of president. 1984 Wilson Ferreira Aldunate was arrested upon his return from an eleven year exile. Aldunate had been a popular Uruguayan opposition leader. 1992 U.S. President George H.W. Bush welcomed Russian President Boris Yeltsin to a meeting in Washington, DC. The two agreed in principle to reduce strategic weapon arsenals by about two-thirds by the year 2003. 1996 Russian voters had their first independent presidential election. Boris Yeltsin was the winner after a run-off. 1999 The U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals said that a 1992 federal music piracy law does not prohibit a palm-sized device that can download high-quality digital music files from the Internet and play them at home. 2000 U.S. federal regulators approved the merger of Bell Atlantic and GTE Corp. The merger created the nation's largest local phone company. 2000 U.S. Secretary of Energy Bill Richardson reported that an employee at the Los Alamos National Laboratory in New Mexico had discovered that two computer hard drives were missing. 2008 California began issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples. 2018 Do smiled. 
 

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