Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, February 6 ___________________________________________________ Today, February 6 in 2000 U.S. First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton formally declared that she was a candidate for a U.S. Senate seat from the state of New York. That seat, a guaranteed shoo- in, had been vacated to make room for her and get her away from the White House before she killed Bill Clinton. ______________________________________________________ Fear not those who argue but those who dodge. --- Marie Ebner von Eschenbach Please give me some good advice in your next letter. I promise not to follow it. --- Edna St. Vincent Millay (1892 - 1950), ______________________________________________________ An assistant to Nancy Pelosi told her she had a fantastic dream last night There was a humongous parade in Washington celebrating Pelosi. Millions lined the parade route, cheering when Nancy went past. Bands were playing; children were throwing confetti into the air; there were balloons everywhere. It was the biggest celebration Washington had ever seen. Nancy was very impressed and said, "That's really great! By the way, how did I look in your dream? Was my hair okay? Her assistant said, "I couldn't tell, the casket was closed. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Armed and dangerous man who escaped from Kansas hospital captured __________________________________________ Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.' Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.' Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.' __________________________________________ Thanks to Lillemor for sending me this picture: Central California coast ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Randy Snodgrass Wichita, Kansas Armed and dangerous man who escaped from Kansas hospital captured Snodgrass was re-arrested in Neosho County at about 1:30 a.m., according to a Facebook post by the Parsons public information office. Snodgrass assaulted a State Worker on Tuesday while returning from Independence and fled on foot from near Hwy 400 and Ness Road, north of Parsons, the post said. A convicted rapist and kidnapper had been considered armed and dangerous after escaping from a sexual predator treatment program in southeast Kansas. Randy Eugene Snodgrass, 58, ran away Monday while being taken to Parsons State Hospital and Training Center, said officials with the Kansas Department for Aging and Disability Services. A state hospital staffer was injured during the escape and received treatment at another hospital. Randy Eugene Snodgrass, 58, ran away Monday while being taken to Parsons State Hospital and Training Center, said officials with the Kansas Department for Aging and Disability Services. A state hospital staffer was injured during the escape and received treatment at another hospital. He was a resident in the sexual predator treatment program at Parsons State Hospital. Snodgrass is on parole after being convicted of rape, aggravated sodomy, aggravated kidnapping and aggravated assault in Douglas County. Kansas Department of Corrections records show the crimes happened in 1990. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Mary Re: Erratic slowdown Dear Webby Every now and then my computer starts actic totally senile, like the proverbial description: It acts like I got 37 tabs open and I have no clue where the music is coming from. When that happens, everything slows to a crawl and I can't do anything except lean on the shut-down button. There MUST be a better way to deal with that! What is it? Mary Dear Mary Hit CTRL SHIFT ESC That brings up the Task Manager. Sort it by memory usage, biggest on top. Most likely the biggest is FireFox or Chrome. Highlight the worst, and hit the END PROCESS button. Probably nothing happens for a while. Just be patient. After a while it will ask you if you really want to end that process. Click on YES. Then go after the next one. As you kill the worst ones, the actions will get faster and faster. After a while your computer speeds up to the speed, that you expect and demand. Generally, anything that takes over 200 MB of RAM is barking too loud and needs to be shut down. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. Son: 'Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.' Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.' Son: 'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.' | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan. 'What was that for?' the man asked. The wife replied, 'That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket'. The man then said 'When I was at the races last week, Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on.' The wife apologized and went on with the housework. Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious. Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again. Wife replied. 'Your horse phoned' ___________________________________________________ European Heaven is where: All the soldiers are British, All the wine is French, All the cars are German, All the lovers are Italian, The weather is Greek, And everything is organized by the Swiss. European Hell is where: All the soldiers are French, All the wine is German, All the cars are Greek, All the lovers are British, The weather is Swiss, And everything is organized by the Italians. ___________________________________________________ Pet Heaven: God turns to the dog and says "The Book of Life indicates that you have been a very good boy. But tell me, in your own words, what are your ultimate principles? What do you believe in?" The dog says "I believe in loyalty, companionship, and love. I have been a cherished part of my owners family for many years." God smiles. "Truly, you have a pure and loving heart. You shall sit at my right hand." He then turns to the parakeet. "What do you believe in?" "I believe in color, flamboyance, and music," the parakeet says. "For many years I have displayed my beautiful feathers and filled my owner's house with song." "Your beauty is truly magnificent," God says. "And your song shall echo through the universe. You shall sit at my left." God finally turns to the house cat. "And you, majestic little predator, what do you believe in?" The cat lazily surveys God's throne and says, "I believe you are in my seat." ____________________________________________ | No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today February 6 in 1778 The United States gained official recognition from France as the two nations signed the Treaty of Amity and Commerce and the Treaty of Alliance in Paris. They both hated the English and did not trust them. 1815 The state of New Jersey issued the first American railroad charter to John Stevens. 1899 The U.S. Senate ratified a peace treaty between the U.S. and Spain. 1900 The Holland Senate ratified the 1899 peace conference decree that created an international arbitration court at The Hague. 1900 U.S. President McKinley appointed W.H. Taft as commissioner to report on the Philippines. 1911 The first old-age home for pioneers opened in Prescott, AZ. 1932 Dog sled racing happened for the first time in Olympic competition. 1937 K. Elizabeth Ohi became the first Japanese woman lawyer when she received her degree from John Marshall Law School in Chicago, IL. 1952 Britain's King George VI died. His daughter, Elizabeth II, succeeded him. 1959 The U.S., for the first time, successfully test-fired a Titan intercontinental ballistic missile from Cape Canaveral. 1971 NASA Astronaut Alan B. Shepard used a six-iron that he had brought inside his spacecraft and swung at three golf balls on the surface of the moon. 1972 Over 500,000 pieces of irate mail arrived at the mail room of CBS-TV, when word leaked out that an edited-for-TV version of the X-rated movie, "The Demand," would be shown. 1973 Construction began on the CN Tower in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. 1985 The French mineral water company, Perrier, debuted its first new product in 123 years. The new items were water with a twist of lemon, lime or orange. 1987 President Ronald Reagan turned 76 years old this day and became the oldest U.S. President in history. 1998 Washington National Airport was renamed for U.S. President Ronald Reagan with the signing of a bill by U.S. President Clinton. 1999 King Hussein of Jordan transferred full political power to his oldest son the Crown Prince Abdullah. 1999 Excerpts of former White House intern Monica Lewinsky's videotaped testimony were shown at President Clinton's impeachment trial. 1999 Heavy fighting resumed along the common border between Ethiopia and Eritrea. 2000 Russia's acting President Vladimir Putin announced that Russian forces had captured Grozny, Chechnya. The capital city had been under the control of Chechen rebels. 2000 In Finland, Foreign Minister Tarja Halonen became the first woman to be elected president. 2000 U.S. First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton formally declared that she was a candidate for a U.S. Senate seat from the state of New York. That seat, a guaranteed shoo- in, had been vacated to make room for her and get her away from the White House before she killed Bill. 2001 Ariel Sharon was elected Israeli prime minister. 2002 A federal judge ordered John Walker Lindh to be held without bail pending trial. Lindh was known as the "American Taliban." 2019 Freedom House announced that Hungary and Serbia were no longer free countries, because they had kicked out and barred George Soros. 2020 Do smiled. |
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