Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, December 17  
 
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 ___________________________________________________ History: on this day, December 17, in 1992, U.S. President George H.W. Bush, Canadian Prime Minister Brian Mulroney and Mexican President Carlos Salinas de Gortari signed the North American Free Trade Agreement. ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award:  Michigan man with teeth filed to points kidnapped woman, threatened to rip out her throat  _____________________________________________________ Q People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use. --- Soren Kierkegaard (1813 - 1855) If we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane. --- Jimmy Buffett Imagination is more important than knowledge... --- Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955) He who praises you for what you lack wishes to take from you what you have. --- Don Juan Manuel (1282 - 1349) ____________________________________________________ >From Mona "I am very much annoyed to find you have branded my boy as illiterate. This is a dirty lie. I was married to his father a week before he was born." __________________________________________________ A Border Patrol Agent catches a guy that just might be an illegal alien. However he begs and pleads and asks for a chance to stay. The BPA decides to give him a chance and says: "Ok, I'll let you stay if you can use three English words in a sentence". Of course, the man agrees to this. The BPA tells him, "The 3 words are: Green, Pink and Yellow. Now use them in one sentence." The guy thinks really hard for about two minutes, then says, "Hmmm, Ok...... The phone, it went Green, Green, Green, I Pink it up and sez Yellow?" __________________________________________________ An International Bonehead Award has been earned by  Michael Barajas, 36, Southfield, Michigan, USA  Michigan man with teeth filed to points kidnapped woman, threatened to rip out her throat  The Genesee County Sheriff said a 36-year-old man has been arrested after he kidnapped a woman and threatened to "rip out her throat" if she didn't do what he told her to. According to the sheriff, Michael Barajas was arrested last week by the Genesee Human Oppression Strike Team (GHOST) after authorities said a 20-year-old pregnant woman escaped after three weeks of being held and sexually assaulted. In a Facebook video posted on Wednesday, Genesee County Sheriff Chris Swanson detailed the horrific torture the woman endured after she was kidnapped. According to Swanson, the woman was walking down the street and was in need of a shower and shelter. Swanson said Barajas saw the woman and took advantage her needs by offering her a shower, food, and shelter. Swanson said the woman accepted the offer and Barajas took her to a dilapidated home where he locked her inside a room and tied her to a bed. Swanson, who was telling the woman's story from a home that was stuffed with trash and belongings, did not say if that home was the one where she was kept. However, he said that Barajas had screwed the windows shut and then pointed to a window with screws - keeping it shut. "This guy used the opportunity to not only sexually assault but have people come over and traffic her as she was tied forcibly to the bed while they assaulted her," Swanson said. According to the sheriff, she tried to escape multiple times and got out of the room multiple times and had been even shot at once. On Dec. 8, he said she suffered a medical emergency and was seen by nurses who recognized the woman was in need of help. Swanson said during the entire time she was kept at the house, Barajas threatened to bite her neck with his sharp teeth. "Barajas threatened that if she didn't do everything that he told her to do, that he would bite her neck and rip out her throat," Swanson said. The sheriff held up a photo of Barajas and then showed his teeth, which appear to be filed to points. Swanson said Barajas groomed the woman by filling her need of shelter and even forced her to write a letter where she described Barajas as "her daddy". "This guy is a monster. If you look at the teeth that are filed down and the threats of ripping out a throat, I will say no more," he said. After the nurses alerted authorities to the woman's need, GHOST raided the home and arrested Barajas on multiple charges including human trafficking, kidnappings, sexual assault, possession of methamphetamine and ecstasy, and more charges. Barajas is being held on a $250,000 bond. Swanson said there are other suspects that could be brought in as well and that the case is not over. ___________________________________________________   Those are owls! I once took a simiar picture of baby eagles on Hwy 32 in Utah. ___________________________________________________ A college professor asked his class a question. "If Philadelphia is 100 miles from New York and Chicago is 1000 miles from Philadelphia and Los Angles is 2000 miles from Chicago, how old am I?" One student in the back of the class raised his hand and when called upon said "Professor you're 44." The Professor said "You're absolutely correct, but tell me, how did you arrive at the answer so quickly?" The student said. "You see professor, I have a brother; he's 22, and he's half nuts." ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ One morning, after her husband had gone to work, his wife decided to have a leisurely bath. She undressed and then remembered that the gas was still on in the kitchen. Wrapped in a towel, she went downstairs. She was about to turn off the gas when she heard footsteps. She assumed that it was the milkman since the arrangement was for him to deliver the milk to the kitchen. So she ran to the nearest door, the broom cupboard and made it just in time. The footsteps grew louder. The door was opened. It was the man from the Gas Company who had called to read the meter. For a moment she was speechless. Then she said, "Sorry, I was expecting the milkman." ___________________________________________________   Laura Shorncliff Pier _________________________________________________ Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just proves that the other person was right about you. _______________________________________________ Little Johnny walked up to the front of he class and, with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down. Well,the teacher couldn't figure out what Johnny had in mind, so she asked him just what that was. "It's a period," reported Johnny. "Well, I can see that," she said, "but what is so exciting about a period?" "I don't know", said Johnny, "but, this morning, my sister said she missed one. Then Dad had a heart attack, Mom fainted, the man next door shot himself, and Father Hibbard from the church across the street left for a mission in Africa without even saying Good Bye." __________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ When Joe put both feet in his mouth at the same time, he didn't have a leg to stand on. ________________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits  From: Brenda Re: Facebook Pokes Dear Webby Some sweet old dears insist on poking me on FaceBook. Luckily it is just those on SillyPhones. I don't seem to get poked by computer users. Is there a way to block that silly nonsense? Brenda  Dear Brenda The easiest way to do that is to just ignore the pokes. Don't poke back! seecond easiest is to tell the offenders that you will unfriend them if they don't stop being silly. Third is: Go to Account settings - In settings click on Notifications - Next click on Mobile Push - In mobile push remove the right mark button from Poke and your problem is solved. Have FUN DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A man observed a sign in the window of a restaurant that read "Unique Breakfast" so he walked in and sat down. The waitress brought him his coffee and asked him what he wanted. "What's your Unique Breakfast?" he asked inquisitively. "Baked tongue of chicken!" she proudly replied. "Baked tongue of chicken?... baked tongue of chicken! Do you have any idea how disgusting that is? I would never even consider eating anything that came out of a chicken's mouth!" he fumed. Undaunted, the waitress asked, "What would you like then?" "Just bring me some scrambled eggs," the man replied. ____________________________________________________ Today, December 17 in 1777, France recognized American independence in order to anny England. 1791, A traffic regulation in New York City established the first street to go "One Way." 1830, South American patriot Simon Bolivar died in Colombia. 1895, George L. Brownell received a patent for his paper- twine machine. 1903, The first successful gasoline-powered airplane flight took place near Kitty Hawk, NC. Orville and Wilbur Wright made the flight. 1925, Col. William "Billy" Mitchell was convicted of insubordination at his court-martial. 1936, The "The Rudy Vallee Show" debuted on NBC. 1939, The German pocket battleship Graf Spee was scuttled by its crew, bringing the World War II Battle of the Rio de la Plata off Uruguay to an end. 1944, The U.S. Army announced the end of its policy of excluding Japanese-Americans from the West Coast which ensured that Japanese-Americans were released from detention camps. 1953, The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) decided to approve RCAs color television specifications. 1957, The United States successfully test-fired the Atlas intercontinental ballistic missile for the first time. 1959, The film "On the Beach" premiered in New York City and in 17 other cities. It was the first motion picture to debut simultaneously in major cities around the world. 1969, The U.S. Air Force closed its Project "Blue Book" by concluding that there was no evidence of extraterrestrial spaceships behind thousands of UFO sightings. 1973, Thirty-one people were killed at Rome airport when Arab guerillas hijacked a German airliner. 1975, Lynette Fromme was sentenced to life in prison for her attempt on the life of U.S. President Ford. 1976, WTCG-TV, Atlanta, GA, changed its call letters to WTBS, and was uplinked via satellite. The station became the first commercial TV station to cover the entire U.S. 1978, OPEC decided to raise oil prices by 14.5% by the end of 1979. 1979, Arthur McDuffie, a black insurance executive, was fatally beaten after a police chase in Miami, FL. Four white police officers were later acquitted of charges stemming from McDuffie's death. 1986, Wayne "Danke Schoen" Newton won a $19.2 million suit against NBC News. NBC had aired reports claiming a link between Newton and mob figures. The reports were proven to be false. 1986, Davina Thompson became the world's first recipient of a heart, lungs, and liver transplant. 1986, Eugene Hasefus was pardoned and then released by Nicaragua. He had been convicted of running guns to the Contras. 1992, U.S. President George H.W. Bush, Canadian Prime Minister Brian Mulroney and Mexican President Carlos Salinas de Gortari signed the North American Free Trade Agreement. 1992, Israel deported over 400 Palestinians to Lebanese territory in an unprecedented mass expulsion of suspected militants. 1996, Peruvian guerrillas took hundreds of people hostage at the Japanese embassy in Lima. The siege ended on April 22, 1997, with a commando raid that resulted in the deaths of all the rebels, two commandos and one hostage. 1996, The Red Cross pulled all but a few of its western staff out of Chechnya after six foreign aid workers were killed by masked gunmen. 1997, U.S. President Clinton signed the No Electronic Theft Act. The act removed protection from individuals who claimed that they took no direct financial gains from stealing copyrighted works and downloading them from the Internet. 1998, U.S. House Speaker-designate Bob Livingston admitted he'd had extramarital affairs. 2002, U.S. President George W. Bush ordered the Pentagon to have ready for use within two years a system for protecting American territory, troops and allies from ballistic missile attacks. 2002, McDonald's Corp. warned that they would report its first quarterly loss in its 47-year history. 2002, The insurance and finance company Conseco Inc. filed for Chapter 11 protection. It was the third-largest bankruptcy in U.S. history. 2002, Congo's government, opposition parties and rebels signed a peace agreement that ended four years of civil war. 2004, U.S. President George W. Bush signed into law the largest overhaul of U.S. intelligence gathering in 50 years. The bill aimed to tighten borders and aviation security. It also created a federal counterterrorism center and a new intelligence director. 2022 Do smiled. 

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