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___________________________________________________ History: on this day, January 2, in 1968, Fidel Castro announced petroleum and sugar rationing in Cuba. ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award: Drunk Wrong-way driver with kids in car on I-10 in Avondale stopped with grappler _____________________________________________________ Q Thomas Jefferson once said, 'We should never judge a president by his age, only by his works.' And ever since he told me that, I stopped worrying. --- Ronald Reagan (1911 - 2004) They certainly give very strange names to diseases. --- Plato (427 BC - 347 BC) For aught that I could ever read, could ever hear by tale or history, the course of true love never did run smooth. --- William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616) Racists believe their excuses are a religion, and that looting and arson are their holy sacraments. ____________________________________________________ An annoyingly self-righteous man went to the doctor for a check-up. He said, "I feel terrible. Please examine me and tell me what's wrong with me." "Let's begin with a few questions," said the doctor, "Do you drink much?" "Alcohol?" said the man. "I'm a teetotaler. Never touch a drop." "How about smoking?" asked the doctor. "Never," replied the man. "Tobacco is bad, and I have strong principles against it." "Well, uh." asked the doctor, "do you have much sex life?" "Oh, no," said the man. "Sex is sin. I'm in bed by 9:30 every night and I always have been." The doctor paused, looked at the man hard, and asked, "Do you have pains in your head?" "Yes," said the man. "I have terrible pains in my head." "O.K.," said the doctor. "That's your trouble. Your halo is on too tight!! __________________________________________________ In the dorm, one of the favorite intramural sports was water fights. Dousing and bombarding one another with water from squirt guns, glasses, balloons, even wastebaskets. Since each room had a sink, there was endless ammunition. The most frequent target was the resident assistant. Approaching his room one afternoon, he noticed his door was ajar. Looking up, he saw a pail of water balanced on the door's edge, ready to fall on him. As he took down the pail and emptied it into his sink, he thought, 'Those crazy guys actually thought they could fool me with that old gag!' It was then he realized that "those crazy guys" had removed the drainpipe beneath the sink and turned the "U" shaped part of it to point just below his waistline. __________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An International Bonehead Award has been earned by  Sadie Kelly, 32, Avondale, Arizona, USA Drunk Wrong-way driver with kids in car on I-10 in Avondale stopped with grappler The driver, identified as 32-year-old Sadie Kelly, allegedly resisted arrest and had to be pulled from her car. DPS said Kelly's three small children were found unhurt in the vehicle and were released to their father. According to court documents, Kelly admitted she knew she was driving the wrong way on the freeway with her kids in the car. "Kelly stated she knew that she was stopped by law enforcement and fled due to her believing the troopers were corrupt," read a portion of the court documents. Kelly was arrested and booked into jail. She is accused of DUI, aggravated DUI wrong way, resisting arrest and unlawful flight. The westbound exit ramps were closed at Avondale Boulevard due to the investigation. Driving Drunk, with kids in the car, that is a rather serious dingbt malfunction! ___________________________________________________  ___________________________________________________ A girl phoned George the other day and said, "Come on over, there's nobody home." He went over. Nobody was home. ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________  Kathy _______________________________________________ A tourist parked his car in downtown Washington, D.C. He said to a man standing near the curb, "Listen, I'm going to be only a couple of minutes. Would you watch my car while I run into this store?" "What?" the man huffed. "Do you realize that I am a member of the United States Senate?" "Well no," the tourist said, "I didn't realize that. Guess I better find somebody a lot more trustworthy!"" ____________________________________________________ The drill sergeant making his morning announcements to a group of newcomers in a training camp, stated: "Today, gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news. First, the good. Private Brandy will be setting the pace on our morning run.' With this the platoon was overjoyed, as Private Brandy was overweight and terribly slow. But then the drill sergeant finished his statement: "Now for the bad news. Private Brandy will be driving the ambulance, that we might need for those who don't manage to stay ahead of me." __________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! _____________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits FROM: Robert RE: Fake FB friend requests Dear Webby Lately I have received 3-4 friend requests from FB, they are all from alleged women, who have not filled out their profile, and have just one picture, that appears to be stolen from some porno site. Needless to say, my wife gets quite annoyed about it all, and accuses me of inviting the bimbos. What can I do to stop that, without blocking legitimate frined requests, that my wife gets? Robert Dear Robert You can't stop that. Keep in mind that FB is a Stalinist dictatorship, and they really don't give a hoot about you. They make Billions from ads on the phony friend requests, and blocking the ads does not seem to stop them. Just use Skype or ZOOM with real friends. Nobody listens to you on FB anyway. Have FUN DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Dear Dear Webby I wish I could tell you how grateful I am to you for keeping my husband and coach alive even though he died in an accident four years ago today. While everybody else calls me nicknames like "half-pint" and "evil-runt" and worse, Roy always called me "My-Lil- Empress" and in his eyes I was a real person, not just a half size. The more everybody else put me down, the more Roy always did things to build up my self confidence and make me feel good about myself. Giving me a subscription to the Humor Letter under the name that he used for me, that was one of those things. Even though he is long dead, every morning when the Humor Letter greets me with "Dear My-Lil-Empress !", it's Roy boosting me up, and even though I am only 4' 6", I walk tall ! Thanks Roy, and Thanks Webby! My-Lil-Empress Dear My-Lil-Empress It's real people like you who are the reason that I don't mind if the sky turns pink in the east before my previous day's shift is over, as long as the Humor Letter goes out. DearWebby ____________________________________________________ Today, January 2 in 1492, The leader of the last Arab stronghold in Spain surrendered to Spanish forces loyal to King Ferdinand II and Queen Isabella I. 1842, In Fairmount, PA, the first wire suspension bridge was opened to traffic. 1859, Erastus Beadle published "The Dime Book of Practical Etiquette." 1872, Brigham Young, the 71-year-old leader of the Mormon Church, was arrested on a charge of bigamy. He had 25 wives. 1879, Thomas Edison began construction on his first standard generator. 1882, The Standard Oil Trust agreement was completed and dated. The document transferred the stock and property of more than 40 companies into the control of nine trustees lead by John D. Rockefeller. This was the first example of what became known as a holding company. 1890, Alice Sanger became the first female White House staffer. 1892, Ellis Island opened as America's first federal immigration center. Annie Moore, at age 15, became the first person to pass through. 1893, The first commemorative postage stamps were issued. 1900, U.S. Secretary of State John Hay announced the Open Door Policy to prompt trade with China. 1900, The Chicago Canal opened. 1917, Royal Bank of Canada took over the Quebec Bank. 1921, The first religious broadcast on radio was heard on KDKA Radio in Pittsburgh, PA, as Dr. E.J. Van Etten of Calvary Episcopal Church preached. 1929, The United States and Canada reached an agreement on joint action to preserve Niagara Falls. 1935, Bruno Richard Hauptmann went on trial for the kidnap-murder of Charles Lindberghs baby. Hauptmann was found guilt and executed. 1942, The Philippine capital of Manila was captured by Japanese forces during World War II. 1953, "The Life of Riley" debuted on NBC-TV. 1955, Panamanian President Jose Antonio Remon was assassinated. 1957, The San Francisco and Los Angeles stock exchanges merged. 1960, U.S. Sen. John F. Kennedy of Massachusetts announced his candidacy for the Democratic presidential nomination. 1965, "Broadway" Joe Namath signed the richest rookie contract ($400,000) in the history of pro football. 1968, Fidel Castro announced petroleum and sugar rationing in Cuba. 1971, In the U.S., a federally imposed ban on television cigarette advertisements went into effect. 1974, U.S. President Richard M. Nixon signed a bill requiring all states to lower the maximum speed limit to 55 MPH. The law was intended to conserve gasoline supplies during an embargo imposed by Arab oil-producing countries. Federal speed limits were abolished in 1995. 1983, The musical "Annie" closed on Broadway at the Uris Theatre after 2,377 performances. 1991, Sharon Pratt Dixon was sworn in as mayor of Washington, DC. She was the first black woman to head a city of that size and prominence. 1996, AT&T announced that it would eliminate 40,000 jobs over three years. 1998, Russia began circulating new rubles in effort to keep inflation in check and promote confidence. 2004, NASA's Stardust space probe collected samples from the comet Wild 2. The samples returned to Earth on January 15, 2006. 2008, The price of oil hit $100 per barrell for the first time. 2022 Do smiled.
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