Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, July 23 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Mesa dope dealer arrested for road rage shooting on Loop 101 in Chandler ___________________________________________________ Today, July 23 in 1914 Austria-Hungary issued an ultimatum to Serbia following the killing of Archduke Francis Ferdinand by a Serb assassin, to surrender the assassin. England used that as an excuse to start World War I. ____________________________________________________ It's not true that life is one damn thing after another; it is one damn thing over and over. --- Edna St. Vincent Millay (1892 - 1950) ____________________________________________________ Bob is sitting at the bar staring morosely into his beer. Tom walks in and sits down. After trying to start a conversation several times and getting only distracted grunts he asks Bob what the problem is. "Well," said Bob, "I ran afoul of one of those women's questions my wife asks. Now I'm in deep trouble." "What kind of question?, asked Tom. "My wife asked me in her longwinded and complicated and confusing way, if I would still love her if she was old and fat." "That's easy," said Tom. "You just say 'Of course I will'". "Yeah", said Bob, "That's what I did, except I was confused by the longwinded question and mixed up the tenses and said 'Of course I do.'" ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ A woman was delighted when her fairy-god mother said her breasts would increase in size each time a man says, "Pardon" to her. She walked down the sidewalk, accidentally bumped into a man and he said,"Pardon me." Her breasts instantly grew an inch and she was ecstatic. The next day, she bumped into a man in the grocery store. He begged her pardon and another inch was added to her breasts. She was really pleased about that and grinning from ear to ear and walked into a Chinese restaurant nearby to celebrate. In there she collided with a waiter. The waiter bowed and said, "A thousand pardons foh my clumsy behaviol." ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Adrian Gonzalez, 29, Mesa, Arizona, USA Mesa dope dealer arrested for road rage shooting on Loop 101 in Chandler A Mesa man has been arrested in connection to a road rage shooting on the Loop 101 freeway in Chandler that happened back in January. The Arizona Dept. of Public Safety said 29-year-old Adrian Gonzalez tried to ram another vehicle before shooting at the victim's car on Loop 101 near Ray Road on Jan. 21. No one was hurt in the incident. During the months-long investigation, detectives say Gonzalez was seen selling drugs. A search warrant was served on July 15, and police reportedly found several firearms, a pound of meth, 100 fentanyl pills, heroin, cocaine, Xanax and suboxone in his home. "The narcotics were found in a location accessible to his two- year-old child," police said. Gonzalez was booked into Maricopa County Jail and faces a number of charges, including involvement in a drive-by shooting, drug possession, weapon misconduct, endangerment and child abuse. DearWebby's tech support pits From: IzzyLizzy Re: Fake mail bounces Dear Webby I've been receiving quite a few of these lately from lots of weird addresses. This is an automatically generated Delivery Status Notification. SMTP_Error [] I'm afraid I wasn't able to deliver your message. This is a permanent error; I've given up. Sorry it didn't work out. The full mail-text and header is attached! Naturally, I did not open the attachment. IzzyLizzy Dear IzzyLizzy Yes, the attachment is a virus. Just use MailWasher to dump those, unseen. There is no point bouncing them back, since the sender address is forged anyway. Have FUN! DearWebby In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE - "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!" ____________________________________________ How are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work. ____________________________________________ Mary and Jane are old friends. They have both been married to their husbands for a long time; Mary is upset because she thinks her husband doesn't find her attractive anymore. "As I get older he doesn't bother to look at me!" Mary cries. "I'm so sorry for you, as I get older my husband says I get more beautiful every day." replies Jane. "Yes, but your husband's an antique dealer!" ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, July 23, in 1715 The first lighthouse in America was authorized for construction at Little Brewster Island, Massachusetts. 1827 The first swimming school in the U.S. opened in Boston, MA. 1829 William Burt patented the typographer, which was the first typewriter. 1877 The first municipal railroad passenger service began in Cincinnati, Ohio. 1886 Steve Brodie, a New York saloonkeeper, claimed to have made a daredevil plunge from the Brooklyn Bridge into the East River. 1904 The ice cream cone was invented by Charles E. Menches during the Louisiana Purchase Exposition in St. Louis, MO. 1914 Austria-Hungary issued an ultimatum to Serbia following the killing of Archduke Francis Ferdinand by a Serb assassin, to surrender the assassin. England used that as an excuse to start World War I. 1938 The first federal game preserve was approved by the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service. The area was 2,000 acres in Utah. 1945 The first passenger train observation car was placed in service by the Chicago, Burlington and Quincy Railroad. 1952 Egyptian military officers led by Gamal Abdel Nasser overthrew King Farouk I. 1958 The submarine Nautilus departed from Pearl Harbor, Hawaii, under orders to conduct "Operation Sunshine." The mission was to be the first vessel to cross the north pole by ship. The Nautils achieved the goal on August 3, 1958. 1962 The "Telstar" communications satellite sent the first live TV broadcast to Europe. 1972 Eddie Merckx of Belgium won his fourth consecutive Tour de France bicycling competition. 1972 The U.S. launched Landsat 1 (ERTS-1). It was the first Earth-resources satellite. 1984 Miss America, Vanessa Williams, turned in her crown after it had been discovered that nude photos of her had appeared in "Penthouse" magazine. She was the first to resign the title. 1985 Commodore unveiled the personal computer Amiga 1000. 1986 Britain's Prince Andrew married Sarah Ferguson at Westminster Abbey in London. They divorced in 1996. 1998 U.S. scientists at the University of Hawaii turned out more than 50 "carbon-copy" mice, with a cloning technique. 2000 Lance Armstrong won his second Tour de France. 2021 Do smiled. |
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