Good Morning, Do, Today is Saturday, May 13 Have FUN! DearWebby Todays Bonehead Award: Florida Democrat congresswoman stole $800,000 from charity spenit it on luxury trips, convicted Details at  Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, May 13 in 1861 - Britain declared its neutrality in the American Civil War. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ 
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 ______________________________________________________ Television a medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well done. --- Ernie Kovacs Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question. --- Albert Camus ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ Mary announced that she was going to start a diet to lose some pounds she had put on recently. "Great," Sue exclaimed. "I'm ready to start a diet too. We can be dieting buddies and help each other out. And when I feel the urge to drive out and get a burger and fries, I'll call you first." "Wonderful," Mary replied. "I'll go with you." _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ My aunt's neighbor in New York had a beautiful black cat, named Felix, who spent his days outside and came indoors at night. One cool October evening, he disappeared. The neighbor searched for him in vain for several days. The following spring,, however, Felix reappeared, looking healthy and clean. She figured he's been out sowing his wild oats. Everything was back to normal until that fall, when Felix disappeared again. The next spring, he returned. Perplexed, my aunt's friend began asking neighbors for clues. Finally, she rang the bell of an older couple who lived down the street. "A black cat?" the woman said. "Oh, yes! My husband and I hated to see him out in the cold, so we bought a cat carrier. We take him to Florida with us every winter." ______________________________________________________   Volcano in Iceland _____________________________________________________ 
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 ______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Corrine Brown Florida  Florida Democrat congresswoman stole $800,000 from charity spenit it on luxury trips, convicted  The Democratic Congresswoman received a whopping $800,000 worth of donations for a fake charity that she set up, and used the funds to pay for her own personal concerts and golf trips. We previously reported on this, however she has now been officially found guilty. "Former Democratic Rep. Corrine Brown was found guilty on 18 fraud and tax evasion charges Thursday afternoon in a Jacksonville federal court." "The charges stemmed from accusations she illegally siphoned thousands of dollars from her charity into her own bank account for lavish parties, trips and shopping excursions." "Brown was found not guilty on four of the 22 total charges." Brown served as a Florida representative in the U.S. House of Representatives from 1993 until 2017. She was defeated in her 2016 primary race, but will get a full salary for a lifetime pension. The sentence came after an investigation into the charity "One Door for Education Foundation Inc.," which the prosecutors say was used as a front to line the front pockets of the owners. Fox News also adds that earlier this year, Carla Wiley, president of said charity, pleaded guilty to "one account of conspiracy to commit wire fraud," after it was determined that she laundered nearly $800,000 into the organization over the course of four years. "Prosecutors said Brown participated from 2012 to 2016 in a conspiracy and fraud scheme involving the One Door for Education fund, along with her chief-of-staff Elias Ronnie Simmons and the charitys president, Carla Wiley." "The group solicited more than $800,000 in charitable donations that they said would be used to pay for college scholarships, computers for schools and other charitable causes, prosecutors said." "The money instead was spent by the three for their own personal use, including for a golf tournament honoring Brown and for luxury box seats at a Beyonce concert. The charity awarded only two scholarships totaling $1,200 to college students, according to trial evidence." "Simmons and Wiley previously pleaded guilty to charges stemming from their involvement in the scheme." "Brown, known as a talkative politician who does not shy away from the media, stayed silent as she left the courthouse on Thursday." The money that was stolen, should have been given to "needy children," to help fund their education, according to the Tampa Bay Times. Acting Assistant Attorney General Kenneth Blanco said that "She shamefully deprived needy children of hundreds of thousands of dollars that could have helped with their education and improved their opportunities for advancement, and she lied to the IRS and the American public about secret cash deposits into her personal bank accounts." FBI Special Agent in Charge, Charles Spencer, also added that "Brown took an oath year after year to serve others, but instead she exploited the needs of children and deceived her constituents to advance her own personal and political agendas." Despite this, Brown has still maintained her innocence, according to her attorney. He says that theyre seeking a new trial, and that this is "just part one of a very long process."  ______________________________________________________  Tech Support Pits From: Louise Re: PayPal Dear Webby I got an E mail from PayPal asking for a credit/check card for their records. Is this a legitimate E Mail? It is supposed to be because members have been using stolen credit cards and so they want an additional check card. Louise  Dear Garry Dear Christina Dear Louise DON'T fill out ANYTHING on that! It's a spoof from some crooks pretending to be PayPal. Forward that to the real PayPal at spoof@paypal.com PayPal will NEVER ask you for any information in email. If you had MailWasher, then you would have seen in the preview that the links were phony. Depending on your mail program, you can also see where the links actually go to if you hover the mouse over a link and watch the status line at the bottom. While the visible link may say "http://paypal.com", the status line will show that it's some long number or a totally different domain. Just forward it to the cops at spoof@paypal.com, and then trash that mail. Have FUN! DearWebby    >From Debbie I spent more than two hours in the beauty shop getting my hair permed, cut and styled. Relieved to be done, I went up to the receptionist to pay. "Good afternoon!" she said cheerfully. "And who's your appointment with today?" So I told her I had changed my mind and walked out. 
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 Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Remove Hard Water Deposits From Faucets To remove hard water deposits that accumulate on faucets from hard water, fill a bag with vinegar and tie the bag to the faucet. Allow the faucet to soak in the vinegar for a couple of hours. When you remove the bag, the deposits should be gone. Repeat if necessary.   

Hallelujah from Russia - Goosebumps!

"Hello, hello?" shrilled a spinsterish voice over the phone. "Is this the SPCA?" "Yes." "I want you to send somebody over right away." "What's wrong?" "There's a horrid magazine salesman sitting in a tree teasing my dog." ___________________________________________________

Winners of the 2017 Sony World Photography Awards

Grandpa and Grandma were visiting the kids overnight, when Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son's medicine cabinet. He asked their son about using one of the pills, and the son said "I don't think you should take one; they're very strong and very expensive." "How much?" asked Grandpa. $10.00 a pill answered the son. "I don't care," said Grandpa, "I'd like to try one, and I'll leave the money under your pillow as soon as I break this $50.00 bill." The next morning the son found $110.00 under his pillow. He said to Grandpa, "I told you each pill was $10.00, not 110.00." "I know," said Grandpa. "The hundred is from Grandma. Can you get 10 more?"

Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

It's wise to remember how easily this wonderful technology can be misused, sometimes unintentionally, with serious consequences. Consider the case of the Illinois man who left the snow- filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife, whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint. At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen: Dearest Wife, Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow. PS. Sure is hot down here.

 Today, on May 13 1607 - An expedition led by Captain Christopher Newport arrived at Jamestown, Virginia. The passengers went ashore the next day and this site became the first permanent settlement English colony in America. 1779 - The War of Bavarian Succession ended. 1787 - Captain Arthur Phillip left Britain for Australia. He successfully landed eleven ships full of convicts on January 18, 1788, at Botany Bay. The group moved north eight days later and settled at Port Jackson. 1846 - The U.S. declared that war existed with Mexico. 1861 - Britain declared its neutrality in the American Civil War. 1864 - The Battle of Resaca commenced as Union General Sherman fought towards Atlanta during the American Civil War. 1865 - The last land engagement of the American Civil War was fought at the Battle of Palmito Ranch in far south Texas, more than a month after Gen. Lee's surrender at Appomattox, VA. 1873 - Ludwig M. Wolf patented the sewing machine lamp holder. 1880 - Thomas Edison tested his experimental electric railway in Menlo Park. 1888 - Slavery was abolished in Brazil. 1897 - Guglielmo Marconi sent the world's first wireless communication over open sea. 1912 - Royal Flying Corps was established in England. 1913 - Igor Sikorsky flew the first four engine aircraft. 1917 - Near Fatima, Portugal, three peasant children reported seeing a vision of the Virgin Mary. 1927 - "Black Friday" occurred in Germany. 1949 - The first gas turbine to pump natural gas was installed in Wilmar, AR. 1954 - U.S. President Eisenhower signed into law the St. Lawrence Seaway Development Act. 1958 - French troops took control of Algiers. 1958 - U.S. Vice President Nixon's limousine was battered by rocks thrown by anti-U.S. demonstrators in Caracas, Venezuela. 1968 - Peace talks between the U.S. and North Vietnam began in Paris. 1985 - A confrontation between Philadelphia authorities and the radical group MOVE ended as police dropped an explosive onto the group's headquarters. Eleven people died in the fire that resulted. 1998 - India did a second round of nuclear tests. The first round had been done 2 days earlier. Within hours the U.S. and Japan imposed tough economic sanctions. India claimed that the tests were necessary to maintain India's national security. 1999 - In Moscow, the impeachment of Russian President Boris Yeltsin began. 2017 Do smiled.

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