Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, September 29 Thank you, Nancy!! ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________  Suspect ambushed Orlando officers with brick and livestreamed attack  ___________________________________________________ Today, Sept 28 in 1982 In Chicago, IL, seven people died after taking capsules of Extra-Strength Tylenol that had been laced with cyanide. 264,000 bottles were recalled. ____________________________________________________ No matter what side of the argument you are on, you always find people on your side that you wish were on the other. --- Jascha Heifetz (1901 - 1987) ". . . if you can tell the difference between good advice and bad advice, you don't need advice." --- Laurence J. Peter "Old people love to give good advice; it compensates them for their inability to set a bad example." --- Duc de La Rochefoucald ____________________________________________________ A woman, cranky because her husband was late coming home again, decided to leave a note, saying, "I've had enough and have left you...don't bother coming after me" Then she hid under the bed to see his reaction. After a short while, the husband comes home and she could hear him in the kitchen before he comes into the bedroom. She could see him walk towards the dresser and pick up the note. After a few minutes, he wrote something on it before picking up the phone and calling someone. "She's finally gone...yeah I know, about time, I'm coming to see you, put on that French nightie. I love you...can't wait to see you...we'll do all the naughty things you like." He hung up, grabbed his keys and left. She heard the car drive off as she came out from under the bed, seething with rage and with tears in her eyes. She grabbed the note to see what he wrote. "I can see your feet. We're outta bread; be back in five minutes." ____________________________________________________   Terri Vidricaire Blonde black bear in Waterton, AB, a bit South of here ____________________________________________________ Little Tommy had been to a birthday party at a friends house. Knowing his sweet tooth Tommy's mother looked straight into his eyes and said, "I hope you didn't ask for a second piece of cake." "No," replied Tommy, "but I asked Mrs. Smith for the recipe so you could make some just as good, and she gave me two more pieces without me having to ask." ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  William David Kevin McClish, Orlando, Florida, USA  Suspect ambushed Orlando officers with brick and livestreamed attack  Two Orlando police officers are recovering after reportedly being ambushed by a man with a brick early Saturday morning in downtown Orlando. The suspect reportedly recorded the attack to live stream Facebook. Orlando police say two officers were standing on the corner of Washington and Magnolia on Saturday just before 1 a.m. The video appears to show the suspect, William David Kevin McClish, hiding behind a car, grabbing a brick, and attacking the two officers from behind without warning. Additional officers responded and McClish was secured and taken into custody. "It was determined McClish set up a camera to livestream the attack to Facebook," Orlando Police Chief Orlando Rolon said. McClish faces several charges, including the Attempted First Degree Murder of a Law Enforcement Officer with a Weapon.  ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________  From: Tanya Re: Link to Gmail Dear Webby, Like you, I lost my address when Telus had their SMTP reposessed by Google. @#$%^&!TelASS!! So now I have to open a browser, and waddle on over to gmail. What a nuisance! Can you make that a bit less painful? Tanya  Dear Tanya Browse to Gmail Look for the little pad lock or icon at the left of the URL Drag that down to the "Pinned" line just below the URL. You can have half a dozen URLs "pinned" there, for easy access. You can also drag that little padlock to an empty space on your desktop, preferably on a side, that is not too crowded with stuff. When you hit that, it will open a browser, if necessary, and jump to the INBOX in your Gmail. That makes it almost as civilized as your ancient Eudora. Not quite, but almost. Have FUN! DearWebby 
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 A boss tells his new employee, "I'll give you 8 bucks an hour starting today, and in three months, I'll raise it to 10 bucks an hour. So when would you like to start?" The employee replies, "How about in 3 months?" ____________________________________________ Mother: "Why are you home from school so early?" Son: "I was the only one who could answer a question." Mother: "Oh, really? What was the question?" Son: "Who threw the tomato at the principal?" ______________________________________________ A redneck boy came home from class and his redneck father asked, "What did you learn in algebra class today, son?" "Well, I learned Pi R Square," replied the boy. "Now, hold on there son," he quickly replied, "you may think I am stupid, but everybody knows that pie are round." ______________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
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 Today, Sept 29, in 1789 A regular army was established by the U.S. War Department with several hundred men. 1829 The first public appearance by London's re-organized police force was met with jeers from political opponents. The force became known as Scotland Yard. 1930 Lowell Thomas made his debut on CBS Radio. He was in the radio business for the next 46 years. 1930 Bing Crosby and Dixie Lee were married. 1940 The radio quiz show "Double or Nothing" debuted on the Mutual Radio Network. 1943 U.S. Gen. Dwight D. Eisenhower and Italian Marchal Pietro Badoglio signed an armistice aboard the British ship Nelson. 1946 "The Adventures of Sam Spade" debuted on CBS Radio. 1962 U.S. President John F. Kennedy nationalized the Mississippi National guard in response to city officials defying federal court orders. The orders had been to enroll James Meredith at the University of Mississippi. 1967 The International Monetary Fund reformed monetary systems around the world. 1977 Eva Shain became the first woman to officiate a heavyweight title boxing match. About 70 million people watched Muhammad Ali defeat Ernie Shavers on NBC-TV. 1982 In Chicago, IL, seven people died after taking capsules of Extra-Strength Tylenol that had been laced with cyanide. 264,000 bottles were recalled. 1983 The War Powers Act was used for the first time by the U.S. Congress when they authorized President Reagan to keep U.S. Marines in Lebanon for 18 more months. 1983 "A Chorus Line" with performance number 3,389 became the longest running show on Broadway. 1984 Irish officials announced that they had intercepted the Marita Anne carrying seven tons of U.S.-purchased weapons. The weapons were intended for the Irish Republican Army. 1984 Elizabeth Taylor was voted to be the world's most beautiful woman in a Louis Harris poll. Taylor was at the time in the Betty Ford Clinic overcoming a weight problem. 1988 The space shuttle Discovery took off from Cape Canaveral in Florida. It was the first manned space flight since the Challenger disaster. 1992 Brazilian lawmakers overwhelmingly voted to impeach President Fernando Collor de Mello. 1993 Bosnia's parliament voted overwhelmingly to reject an international peace plan unless Bosnian Serbs returned land that had been taken by force. 1994 The U.S. House voted to end the practice of lobbyist buying meals and entertainment for members of Congress. 1998 Hasbro announced plans to introduce an action figure of retired U.S. General Colin Powell. 2010 In China, Canton Tower became operational. 2021 Do smiled. 
 
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