Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, April 25 Thank you, Kurt !! ___________________________________________________ Bonehead Award Woman arrested for bank robbery in Tulare, CA __________________________________________________ On April 25 in 1990, The U.S. Hubble Space Telescope was placed into Earth's orbit. It was released by the space shuttle Discovery. __________________________________________________ On the whole human beings want to be good, but not too good, and not quite all the time. --- George Orwell (1903 - 1950) ____________________________________________________ "Say, Ralph, you want to hit the golf course this afternoon?" "Sorry, I can't." "Why not?" "The doctor told me I can't play." "Oh, he's seen your game?" ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ My god! What happened to you?" the bartender asked Kelly as he hobbled in on a crutch, one arm in a cast. "I got in a fight with Mr. Riley." "Riley? He's just a wee fellow," the barkeep said, surprised. "He must have had something in his hand." "Aye,.. that he did," Kelly said. "A shovel it was." "Dear Lord,... didn't you have anything in YOUR hand?" "Aye, that I did." Kelly said. "And beautiful they are, but those particular parts of Mrs. Riley were not much use in a fight!" ____________________________________________________   Tanya Wierenga GHO, Lacombe County, 22/4/2022 (Great Horned Owl) ___________________________________________________ Young writers: "He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up." ____________________________________________________ A meat counter clerk, who had had a particularly good day, proudly flipped his last chicken on a scale and weighed it. "That will be $6.35," he told the customer. "That really is a little too small," said the woman. "Don't you have anything larger?" Hesitating, but thinking fast, the clerk returned the chicken to the freezer, paused a moment, then took the same one out again. "This one," he said faintly, " will be $6.65." The woman paused for a moment, then made her decision. "I know what," she said, "I'll take both of them!" ___________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Hannah Collins, 23, Exeter, California, USA  Woman arrested for bank robbery in Tulare, CA Fox26News  A woman was arrested for bank robbery, police say she handed a note to the teller, stating she was armed, and demanded the money. The robbery occurred on Monday at a Wells Fargo location on the 200 block of E. Tulare Avenue. Police say the woman took off with an unknown amount of money and no weapon was ever seen. Through the investigation, detectives received several tips, identifying her as 23-year-old Hannah Collins of Exeter. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________  DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Eloise Re: Fax Dear Webby, Some time ago you mentioned a free FAX site, but I forgot the URL. Can you please mention it again? Thanks Eloise  Dear Eloise I use https://faxzero.com/ Fast, reliable, and secure.They even send a confirmation request email to you, to make sure nobody else sends a fax pretending to be you. I highly recommend them! Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ The new nun goes to her first confession. She tells the priest that she has a terrible secret. The priest then tells her that her secret is safe in the sanctity of the confessional. She says, "Father, I never wear panties under my habit." The priest chuckles and says, "That's not so serious, Sister Bernadette. Say five Hail Marys, five Our Fathers, and do five cartwheels on your way to the altar." ______________________________________________________ 
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 _____________________________________________ A pastor, known for his lengthy sermons, noticed a man get up and leave during the middle of his message. The man returned just before the conclusion of the service. Afterwards the pastor asked the man where he had gone. "I went to get a haircut," was the reply. "But," said the pastor, "why didn't you do that before the service?" "Because," the gentleman said, "I didn't need one then." ______________________________________________ An attractive young girl, chaperoned by a very old lady, entered the doctor's office. "We have come for an examination," said the young girl. "All right," said the doctor. "Go behind that curtain and take your clothes off." "No, not me," said the girl. "it's my old aunt here." "Very well," said the doctor. "Madam, stick out your tongue." ______________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 The wise old Mother Superior was dying. The nuns gathered around her bed. She asked for a little warm milk to sip so a nun went to the kitchen to warm some milk. Remembering a bottle of whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened it and poured a generous amount into the warm milk. Mother Superior drank a little, then a little more, then before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop. "Mother, Mother" the nuns cried, "Give us some wisdom before you die!" She raised herself up in bed with a pious look on her face, and pointing out the window she said, "Don't EVER sell that cow!" ___________________________________________________  
 Today, April 25, in 1590, The Sultan of Morocco launched his successful attack to capture Timbuktu. 1644, The Ming Chongzhen emperor committed suicide by hanging himself. 1684, A patent was granted for the thimble. 1707, At the Battle of Almansa, Franco-Spanish forces defeated the Anglo-Portugese. 1792, The guillotine was first used to execute highwayman Nicolas J. Pelletier. 1831, The New York and Harlem Railway was incorporated in New York City. 1846, The Mexican-American War ignited as a result of disputes over claims to Texas boundaries. The outcome of the war fixed Texas' southern boundary at the Rio Grande River. 1859, Work began on the Suez Canal in Egypt. 1860, The first Japanese diplomats to visit a foreign power reached Washington, DC. They remained in the U.S. capital for several weeks while discussing expansion of trade with the United States. 1862, Union Admiral Farragut occupied New Orleans, LA. 1864, After facing defeat in the Red River Campaign, Union General Nathaniel Bank returned to Alexandria, LA. 1867, Tokyo was opened for foreign trade. 1882, French commander Henri Riviere seized the citadel of Hanoi in Indochina. 1898, The U.S. declared war on Spain. Spain had declared war on the U.S. the day before. 1901, New York became the first state to require license plates for cars. The fee was $1. 1915, During World War I, Australian and New Zealand troops landed at Gallipoli in Turkey in hopes of attacking the Central Powers from below. The attack was unsuccessful. 1925, General Paul von Hindenburg took office as president of Germany. 1926, In Iran, Reza Kahn, inaerted by the USA, was crowned Shah and choose the name "Pehlevi." 1928, A seeing eye dog was used for the first time. 1940, W2XBS (now WCBS-TV) in New York City presented the first circus on TV. 1945, U.S. and Soviet forces met at Torgau, Germany on Elbe River. 1945, Delegates from about 50 countries met in San Francisco to organize the United Nations. 1952, After a three-day fight against Chinese Communist Forces, the Gloucestershire Regiment was annihilated on "Gloucester Hill," in Korea. 1953, U.S. Senator Wayne Morse ended the longest speech in U.S. Senate history. The speech on the Offshore Oil Bill lasted 22 hours and 26 minutes. 1953, Dr. James D. Watson and Dr. Francis H.C. Crick suggested the double helix structure of DNA. 1954, The prototype manufacture of the first solar battery was announced by the Bell Laboratories in New York City. 1957, Operations began at the first experimental sodium nuclear reactor. 1959, St. Lawrence Seaway opened to shipping. The water way connects the Great Lakes and the Atlantic Ocean. 1961, Robert Noyce was granted a patent for the integrated circuit. 1962, The U.S. spacecraft, Ranger, crashed on the Moon. 1967, Colorado Governor John Love signed the first law legalizing abortion in the U.S. The law was limited to therapeutic abortions when agreed to, unanimously, by a panel of three physicians. 1971, The country of Bangladesh was established. 1974, Portuguese dictator Antonio Salazar was overthrown in a military coup. 1976, Portugal ratified a constitution. It was first revised on October 30, 1982. 1980, In Iran, a commando mission to rescue hostages was aborted after mechanical problems disabled three of the eight helicopters involved. During the evacuation, a helicopter and a transport plan collided and exploded. Eight U.S. servicemen were killed. The mission was aimed at freeing American hostages that had been taken at the U.S. embassy in Tehran on November 4, 1979. The event took place April 24th Washington, DC, time. 1982, In accordance with Camp David agreements, Israel completed its Sinai withdrawal. 1983, Soviet leader Yuri V. Andropov invited Samantha Smith to visit his country after receiving a letter in which the U.S. schoolgirl expressed fears about nuclear war. 1983, The Pioneer 10 spacecraft crossed Pluto's orbit, speeding on its endless voyage through the Milky Way. 1984, In France, over one million people demonstrated to show they favored the decentralization of education. 1984, David Anthony Kennedy, the son of Robert F. Kennedy, was found dead of a drug overdose in a hotel room. 1985, "Big River (The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn)" opened at the Eugene O'Neill Theatre on Broadway in New York City. 1987, In Washington, DC, 100,000 people protested the U.S. policy in Central America. 1988, In Israel, John "Ivan the Terrible" Demjanuk was sentenced to death as a Nazi war criminal. 1990, Sandinista rule ended in Nicaragua. 1990, The U.S. Hubble Space Telescope was placed into Earth's orbit. It was released by the space shuttle Discovery. 1992, Islamic forces in Afghanistan took control of most of the capital of Kabul following the collapse of the Communist government. 1996, The main assembly of the Palestine Liberation Organization voted to revoke clauses in its charter that called for an armed struggle to destroy Israel. 1998, U.S. first lady Hillary Rodham Clinton was questioned by Whitewater prosecutors on videotape about her work as a private lawyer for the failed savings and loan at the center of the investigation. 2003, Winnie Madikizela-Mandela, the anti-apartheid leader and ex-wife of former President Nelson Mandela, was sentenced to four years in prison for her conviction on fraud and theft charges. She was convicted of 43 counts of fraud and 25 of theft of money from a women's political league. 2022 Do smiled. 

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