Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, June 23 _____________________________________________________ Today, June 23 in 1868 Christopher Latham Sholes received a patent for an invention that he called a "Type-Writer." More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
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 Today's Bonehead Award: Alabaman Arrested For Faking His Own Kidnapping  ! ! ! ! _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  _______________________________________________ A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money. --- G Gordon Liddy If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed." --- Mark Twain "A man is only as old as the woman he feels." --- Groucho Marx The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. --- Lucille Ball I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones. --- Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955) Apparently Iran is stockpiling stones now. _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ >Thanks to Liz for this story: We had made some changes in our lives. My husband had lost 50 pounds and after eight years of being a housewife, I had taken a job in a restaurant. When I returned home after my first day at work, I gave my husband a big hug. He seemed to cling to me longer than usual. "Did you really miss me that much today, dear?" I asked. "No," came the reply. "But you smell so much like pancakes that I hate to let you go." ______________________________________________________` Thanks to Linda for this picture:   _____________________________________________________ 
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 ___________________________________________________   An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Andrew Nunez , 24, Enterprise, Alabama  Alabaman Arrested For Faking His Own Kidnapping  
 Andrew Nunez ,24, reported a kidnapping in order to extort ransom money from a family member. Unfortunately for him, the FBI started an investigation, and determined that he had falsely reported his own kidnapping! This Enterprise, Alabama resident was charged with first degree extortion and false reporting to law enforcement.  DearWebby's Tech Support Pits  From: Carrie Re: Files lost during file move  Dear Webby, I moved a bunch of pictures from my attachments/downloads directory to my Landscapes directory, or tried to. On the way, I accidentally bumped the mouse against my coffee mug, and the files were gone. They are neither where they were before, nor where they were supposed to go. Help! Carrie  Dear Carrie Relax. The files are not gone, just in the wrong place. Look in the email or IM, by which you received them, for the name of one of them. Then click on START, SEARCH, and paste that file name. The SEARCH will find the location. All of them will be there. Then you can complete the move from there to the proper destination. If you have one or more large Terabyte hard drives, that would take too long. In that case use "Search Everything" from https://www.voidtools.com/ It is free, and MUCH faster than the Windows search. Close it when you have copied the location. Especially if you have lots of browser tabs open, SearchEverything turns into a memory hog. Just close it when not using it, and open it again when you do need to search for something. You can search everything, if you don't know the extension, or narrow the search down to videos or pictures or music or text. It is a fantastic tool, just remember to close it when not usiing it. Have FUN! DearWebby 
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 After volunteering to fight for his country in WW II, Zimmerman joined his unit and lined up for his uniform. As equipment was issued in strict alphabetical order Zimmerman found himself at the back of the queue. By the time he reached the desk all the uniforms had been issued. There were none left. Zimmerman was issued with a badge that said "soldier" in red letters."You didn't want a scratchy old uniform anyway," the quartermaster said. "Join the line for your rifle." Zimmerman joined the back of the rifle queue. When he reached the front Zimmerman found that all the rifles had been distributed and then, once again, there were none left. "You don't want to kill people anyway," said the quartermaster. "I'll issue you with a stick and you can shout Bang Bang!" "Thank you," said Zimmerman, and joined the queue for bayonets. "Join the line for your bayonet." Once again, on reaching the desk Zimmerman was disappointed. The quartermaster issued him with a lollipop stick with the advice that he should shout "Sticky-sticky" when using it.....And so on. Within weeks Zimmerman found himself on the front lines shouting "Bang-bang" for all he was worth. On his second day the German enemy began a mass advance. One by one Zimmerman's unit were killed or wounded until only Zimmerman himself remained standing. "Bang-bang!" he shouted, and was amazed to see his German foes still falling. Soon they began to overwhelm his trench and Zimmerman began to stab wildly with his lollipop stick. "Sticky- sticky. Sticky-sticky." Astoundingly it worked. The enemy were dying at his feet. The survivors began to retreat. All, that is, with the exception of one man who was only half way across no-man's land and was still advancing slowly. Zimmerman took careful aim with his stick-rifle and calmly said; "Bang- Bang." The enemy soldier continued his advance. "Bang-bang, bang-bang, bangedy-bang-bang-bang," Zimmerman yelled frantically. Still he came. Before he could reach the trench Zimmerman leapt up and ran at him with the lollipop stick. "Sticky-sticky, he said. And then added "Stab-stab-stab," for good measure. The enemy soldier refused to die and stared at Zimmerman defiantly. By now Zimmerman had had enough. "Wait a minute, " he said. "When I shouted 'Bang' your comrades died, but not you. When I engaged them in hand-to-hand combat with my lollipop stick they fell over dead, but not you. What gives?" "Clankety-Clank, I'm a tank, " said Herr Zanker. 
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 A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!" ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Designate an Area In Your Fridge for Leftovers Leftovers usually need to be used first so create a space on the top shelf of your fridge just for leftovers. Also, try to use clear tupperware or glass jars for leftovers so you can see what is in them at a glance. thriftyfun.Com   ____________________________________________________   
  
You never know what you might find in old hidden attics. 
 ___________________________________________________ >From Eva I took my daughter to the doctor for her 2-year-old checkup. They had her do coordination tests, like stacking blocks, and they watch and see if they walk properly. And then the doctor said, "Allison, can you jump on one foot for me?" So she walked over and jumped on his foot. ___________________________________________________ A wealthy family took their frail, elderly grandmother to a famous and expensive nursing home and left her, hoping she would be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses luxuriously bathed her- fed her a tasty breakfast cooked by a famous chef, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden. She seemed okay, but after a while she slowly started to tilt sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rushed up to catch her and straighten her up. Again she seemed okay, but after a while she slowly started to tilt over to her other side. The nurses rushed back and once more brought her back upright. This went on all morning. Later, the family arrived to see how the old woman was adjusting to her new home. "So Grandma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?" "It's pretty nice," she replied. "Except they won't let me fart." ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 >From Lorraine My husband, Mike, and I had several stressful months of financial difficulties. So one evening I was touched to see him gazing at the diamond wedding ring that symbolized our marriage. "With this ring..." I began romantically. "We could pay off Visa," he responded. ___________________________________________________  
 Today, June 23 in 1683 William Penn signed a friendship treaty with Lenni Lenape Indians in Pennsylvania. 1700 Russia gave up its Black Sea fleet as part of a truce with the Ottoman Empire. 1758 British and Hanoverian armies defeated the French at Krefeld in Germany. 1760 The Austrians defeated the Prussians at Landshut, Germany. 1757 Robert Clive defeated the Indians at Plassey and won control of Bengal. 1836 The U.S. Congress approved the Deposit Act, which contained a provision for turning over surplus federal revenue to the states. 1848 A bloody insurrection of workers in Paris erupted. 1865 Confederate General Stand Watie, who was also a Cherokee chief, surrendered the last sizable Confederate army at Fort Towson, in the Oklahoma Territory. 1868 Christopher Latham Sholes received a patent for an invention that he called a "Type-Writer." 1884 A Chinese Army defeated the French at Bacle, Indochina. 1902 Germany, Austria-Hungary, and Italy renewed the Triple Alliance for a 12 year duration. 1904 The first American motorboat race got underway on the Hudson River in New York. 1926 The first lip reading tournament in America was held in Philadelphia, PA. 1931 Wiley Post and Harold Gatty took off from New York on the first round-the-world flight in a single-engine plane. 1934 Italy gained the right to colonize Albania after defeating the country. 1947 The U.S. Senate joined the House in overriding President Truman's veto of the Taft-Hartley Act. 1951 Soviet U.N. delegate Jacob Malik proposed cease-fire discussions in the Korean War. 1952 The U.S. Air Force bombed power plants on Yalu River, Korea. 1956 Gamal Abdel Nasser was elected president of Egypt. 1972 U.S. President Nixon and White House chief of staff H.R. Haldeman discussed a plan to use the CIA to obstruct the FBI's Watergate investigation. 2003 Apple Computer Inc. unveiled the new Power Mac desktop computer. 2004 The U.S. proposed that North Korea agree to a series of nuclear disarmament measures over a three-month period in exchange for economic benefits. 2013 In Arizona, aerialist Nik Wallenda completed a quarter mile tightrope walk over the Little Colorado River Gorge. 2015 NASA's Mars Odyssey completed its 60,000th orbit around Mars. The spacecraft entered orbit on October 23, 2001. 2015 Verizon announced it had completed its $4.4 billion purchase of AOL, Inc. 2019 Do smiled.