Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, August 12 Smoke is still thick. The promised thunder showers didn't really happen. There was some faint rumbling in the distance, and for a few minutes there was a bit of a drizzle. I was on my walk when it happened, and did not have to change my shirt afterwards. Still can't see more than a block. The fires are all in BC, and some in Washington, Oregon and California, but with cool air coming down from the Yukon, the smoke seems to get funneled over the Rockies to Alberta. Fire crews have pitched in from the forest industry, from outside the province and outside of the country including New Zealand, Australia and Mexico. I hope they get some good and solid rain soon! I was forest fire fighting in 1971 and know how tough it is to go all out in thick smoke. Have FUN! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Florida Woman Fleeing Police Gets Corralled By Cows Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, August 12 in 1865 Disinfectant was used for the first time during surgery by Joseph Lister. More of today in history at HIstory ______________________________________________________ 
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 A husband is like a fire, he goes out when unattended. --- Evan Esar (1899 - 1995) Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. --- Eugene McCarthy (1916 - 2005) It is the dull man who is always sure, and the sure man who is always dull. --- H. L. Mencken ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ George, a rather arrogant acquaintance, and Do were seated side by side on a train. An announcement was made that all electrical power would be out for a few minutes due to a blown circuit. Seated across from George and Do were two very attractive ladies. Just then the train entered a dark tunnel. A loud smack was heard. As the train left the tunnel, a large red hand print could be seen on George's face. Nothing was said by anyone. The train entered another dark tunnel and another loud smack was heard. As the train left the tunnel, another large red hand print could be seen on the other side of George's face. Again, nothing at all was said. George was thinking....Do must have done something to those ladies and they thought it was me because of my reputation. But Do was thinking....I wish we would go through another tunnel so I could slap that idiot again!!! ------------------------- If you put nothing, or a full name like Ms Ernestine F Trailer-Hooker III into the FIRST NAME slot of the sign-up, that joke will fall flat. It's nearly as bad if you got a gift subscription from a neighbor, who typed your first name or nickname in all small or all large letters because she had a bottle of Southern Comfort in one hand and a donut in the other. If that is the case with your first name or nickname, hit REPLY and tell me, and I will instantly correct it. DearWebby _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________   U Bein Bridge, Myanmar _____________________________________________________ 
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 _____________________________________________________ Having lost weight over the past few years, a lady was discarding things from her wardrobe that no longer fit. Her seven-year-old daughter was watching as she held up a huge pair of slacks. "Wow," the lady said, "I must have worn these when I was a hundred and eighty." Her daughter looked puzzled and asked, "How old are you now?" ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Jennifer Anne Kaufman, 46, Sanford, Florida  Florida Woman Fleeing Police Gets Corralled By Cows  Send in the cavalry ? or is that cowvalry? Its a relevant question, thanks to a video that shows a woman on the run from the law who ended up being chased by a tiny herd of cows. The mooving experience happened Monday night in Sanford, Florida, where authorities were pursuing a white Subaru SUV that was reportedly stolen. Officers attempted to stop the vehicle by using stop sticks, causing it to crash near a pasture, according to The Tampa Bay Times. One of the three passengers, Erin Thomas, 38, stayed with the SUV, while the other two attempted to hoof it into the field. Jamie Michael Young, 46, was quickly apprehended by a K-9 unit, but the other, Jennifer Anne Kaufman, also 46, was about to have a different kind of animal encounter. As she was fleeing officers, Kaufman found herself suddenly pursued by, depending on the source, 12, 16 or 20 young cows. A pilot in a police helicopter above the scene immortalized the encounter, according to Inside Edition. Actually, the group of cows is following her, for a good visual, he said to his fellow officers below. Looks like they may attack her ... Keep going southeast. Shes pretty far into the field now. If you see the group of cows, theyre literally following her and chasing her. Kaufman eventually made it to a fence, where she was arrested by police officers waiting for her. The herds owner, Richard Kondracki, told local station WKMG that he had never seen his bovines act aggressive before but that no one had ever tried to run through the field. if all those cows come running at you. They didnt know them. They dont know if theyre there to hurt them, or steal one of the babies. Officers allegedly found 1.3 grams of cocaine, two spoons, two clear-colored needles and a pipe burned at both ends in the SUV, according to The Orlando Sentinel. Kaufman is facing various charges, including drug possession, possession of drug paraphernalia, trespassing and resisting an officer. She remains in the Seminole County Jail in lieu of $4,500 bond. 
  From: Marty Re: Filters for spoof mails  Dear Webby, I tried that filter, and I am impressed! Not a single false positive, and it caught even more spam than I had expected. Now, how do I make a filter to catch all the useless messages from mcAfee, both real and spoof? Thanks Marty   Dear Marty For that I made this filter: If the Subject field contains "Suspect e-mail detected" OR the From field contains "McAfee VirusScan E-mail Scan" then hide the message from the messages list , and automatically (without warning or notification) delete the message. This filter takes priority over the friends list. For the "OR", toggle the ALL or ANY rules to ANY. According to the cute pie chart in the stats, this filter currently catches and dumps 4% of the incoming mail, unseen. That's the way I like it. The spoof McAfee messages with attached virus are just as useless as the real McAfee messages. The fake McAfee messages with attached virus come from an infected machine of one of your friends or relatives. To find out who that is, turn that filter off and block half of your regular contacts for a day. If the nuisance stops, then the culprit is in THAT half. Now half that list and block just that portion. And so on until you are down to the one, wo IS the culprit. Thell her or him to get Malwarebytes and clean up their act, or else you will block them for good. Then turn that filter on again. Have FUN DearWebby  
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 >From Rita I was walking home last night and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery. 3 girls walked up to me and explained that they were scared to walk past the cemetery at night, so I agreed to let them walk along with me. I told them "I understand... I used to get freaked out too when I was alive." Never seen anybody run so fast 
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 A man goes to a doctor for a physical checkup. The nurse starts with certain basic information and asks, "How much do you weigh?" "One-seventy," the man replies. The nurse asks him to step on the scale and it shows that his weight is actually 183. The nurse asks, "Your height?" "Five-eleven," the man answered confidently The nurse measures and sees that he's only 5' 8". Then she takes his blood pressure, and it is very high. The man says, "Of course it's high! When I came in here, I was tall and slender. Now, suddenly I'm short and dumpy!" ____________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Saving Money on Carpet Save money on your carpet installation by removing and disposing of the old carpet yourself. If you are also painting, do your painting and dry wall work after removing the old carpet. It allows you to paint all the way down to the subflooring without fear of making a mess.  Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com  ____________________________________________________   
  
 
Here Are 15 Of The Most Upsetting Child Ghost Stories
 ___________________________________________________ An old man limped into the doctor's office and said, "Doctor, my knee hurts so bad, I can hardly walk!" The doctor slowly eyed him from head to toe, paused and then said, "Sir, how old are you?" "I'm 98," the man announced proudly. The doctor just sighed, and looked at him again. Finally he said, "Sir, I'm sorry. I mean, just look at you. You are almost one hundred years old, and you're complaining that your knee hurts? Well, what did you expect?" The old man said, "Well, my other knee is 98 years old too, and it doesn't hurt!" ---------------- He should have used his cane and smacked the quack! My father overdid it a bit with his hiking last Sunday and tore the meniscus in his right knee. Medically it's not a big deal, but it is very painful. If you see a soccer player suddenly dance like a one-legged whirling dervish and then fall down clasping his knee, that's from a torn meniscus. The meniscus is like a rubber washer in the knee, cushioning the joint. A sudden twisting impact can tear a little piece of that washer partially loose and makes it press against some nerves. A sport doctor recognizes it instantly and can reach into the knee with a tiny little pipe and clip the torn piece like it was a hangnail on your thumb. The pain is gone instantly and the patient can walk as soon as the local anethetic wears off. That's what they did with my dad and he's hiking again. However, if it is not promptly fixed, the limping affects the spine and leads to all kinds of expensive complications. ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 Ending his sermon, a preacher announced that he would preach on Noah and the Ark on the following Sunday, and gave the scriptural reference for the congregation to read ahead of time. A couple of boys noticed something interesting about the placement of the story in the Bible. They slipped into the church and glued two pages of the pulpit Bible together. The next Sunday, the preacher got up to read his text. "Noah took unto himself a wife," he began, "and she was" - he turned the page to continue - "three hundred cubits long, fifty wide and thirty high." He paused, scratched his head, turned the page back, read it silently, and turned the page again. Then he looked up at his congregation and said, "I've been reading this old Bible for near fifty years, but there are some things in it that are hard to believe." ____________________________________________________  
 Today, August 12 in Today on August 12 1676 "King Phillip's War" came to an end with the killing of Indian chief King Phillip. The war between the Indians and the Europeans lasted for two years. 1851 Isaac Singer was issued a patent on the double-headed sewing machine. 1865 Disinfectant was used for the first time during surgery by Joseph Lister. 1877 Thomas Edison invented the phonograph and made the first sound recording. 1898 The Spanish-American War was ended with the signing of the peace protocol. The U.S. acquired Guam, Puerto Rico and the Philippines. Hawaii was also annexed. 1915 "Of Human Bondage" by William Somerset Maugham was first published. 1918 Regular airmail service began between Washington, DC, and New York City. 1939 "The Wizard of Oz" premiered in Oconomowoc, WI. Judy Garland became famous for the movie's song "Somewhere Over the Rainbow." The movie premiered in Hollywood on August 15th. 1953 The Soviet Union secretly tested its first hydrogen bomb. 1960 The balloon satellite Echo One was launched by the U.S. from Cape Canaveral, FL. It was the first communications satellite. 1962 The Soviet Union launched Pavel Popovich into orbit. Popovich and Andrian Nikolayev, who was launched a day before, both landed on August 15. 1977 The space shuttle Enterprise passed its first solo flight test. 1981 IBM unveiled its first PC. 1986 It was announced by NASA that they had selected a new rocket design for the space shuttle. The move was made in an effort at correcting the flaws that were believed to have been responsible for the Challenger disaster. 1988 The movie "The Last Temptation of Christ" opened. 1992 The U.S., Canada, and Mexico announced that the North American Free Trade Agreement had been created after 14 months of negotiations. 1993 U.S. President Clinton lifted the ban on rehiring air traffic controllers that had been fired for going on strike in 1981. 1998 Swiss banks agreed to pay $1.25 billion as restitution to World War II Holocaust victims. 1999 Hang Thu Thi Ngyuen shot an arrow from a bow with her feet on "Guinness World Records: Primetime" and hit a target that was 16 feet and 5 inches away. 2000 The Russian nuclear submarine Kursk sank and its 118- man crew died during naval exercises in the Barents Sea. 2004 The California Supreme Court voided the nearly 4,000 same-sex marriages that had been sanctioned in San Francisco earlier in the year. 2008 Russia halted its five-day assault on Georgia. 2018 Do smiled. 
 

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