Good Morning, Do, Today is Wednesday, June 21 Here are some trigger phrases to use in MailWasher or Eudora or whatever you use for diverting spam to trash: Administrator Suspension notice Email Account Suspension Communicado cuartoastral Sponsors Complimentary enlargement Name Brand Meds target=_blank Rolex Offer Confirmation Message Subject Data base of refinance emailing Documents from work MSN Featured Payroll % off .ru/ zip "==_" or "------=_" THIS WILL BE OUR LAST DON'T DELETE THIS MESSAGE If the Body contains "if images are blocked" then hide the message from the messages list , and automatically (without warning or notification) delete the message. This filter takes priority over the friends list. If the From field does not contain"@" or not "." then hide the message from the messages list, and automatically (without warning or notification) delete the message. If the entire header contains "charset=iso-" or "koi8-r" or "GB2312" or the Body contains "base64" or the entire header contains "iso-2022-jp" or "=?windows" or the Body contains "8bit" then mark the message as mail to be deleted. If the Body contains "THIS IS A WARNING MESSAGE ONLY" then hide the message from the messages list , and automatically (without warning or notification) delete the message. No Subject: If the Subject field does not contain RegExpr"\w" then mark the message as mail to be deleted. Cyrillic If the entire header contains RegExpr"Content- type[^\n]*(\n[^\n]*)?charset=(3D)?"?(windows-1251|iso-8859- 5|koi8)" then mark the message as mail to be deleted. Korean If the entire header contains RegExpr"Content- type[^\n]*(\n[^\n]*)?charset=(3D)?"?(ks_c_5601-1987|euc- kr|iso-2022-kr)" then mark the message as mail to be deleted. Japanese If the entire header contains RegExpr"Content- type[^\n]*(\n[^\n]*)?charset=(3D)?"?(euc-jp|iso-2022-jp)" then mark the message as mail to be deleted. This filter takes priority over the friends list. By the way, I have absolutely nothing agaisnt the Japanese or Koreans or ... whatever, as long as they write in one of MY languages. If they write in a language, that I can't read, then they are obviously spammers, who are just broadcasting without knowing who they mail to. There is a place in hell for them, and a place in the trash for their mail. Save the above part and use it for guidance when you make filters. Add whatever additional filters you come up with, and save them online or on your favorite camera chip. Plain text takes a negligible amount of space. Have Fun! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Florida toddler pulls loaded gun from toy box during child welfare check. Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, June 21 in 1859 Andrew Lanergan received the first rocket patent. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ My own business always bores me to death; I prefer other people's. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) I wonder what it means when your grandson is more crotchety than you are. --- Aaron McGruder There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating: people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing. --- Oscar Wilde When you come to a fork in the road, take it. --- Yogi Berra ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ One year, Johnny's family was having the "extended family" cookout at their home. One of the special treats that year was the lighting of the fireworks (Roman candles, bottle rockets, missile batteries, etc.) they had bought out of state. (because they are illegal in their state, of course!) Just before they were to arrive, a cousin calls, saying their neighbor's plans had just fallen through, and could they bring them along to the picnic - they even had extra food to bring. "Sure, the more the merrier!" Upon arrival and meeting of their cousin's neighbor, it is discovered that he's a police officer. The father turns as innocently as he can to Johnny, and whispers to him to grab the paper bag of fireworks sitting in the kitchen and hide them somewhere quickly. Johnny disappears, and the father changes the topic to food for the day. The family had brought some chicken to grill, so the father tells then the gas grill is all set to use out back - just turn on the gas and push the ignition button with the lid still closed. They head out the back, as Johnny comes back in through the front door. The father hurries to him and says "Whew, that was close! That man's a police officer, and he almost saw the fireworks. Did you hide them real well?" "Oh, yes! Nobody will ever think to look in the grill!" _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ >From Rev Garth After finishing an out-of-town errand, I discovered that my car wouldn't start because it was out of gas. A passer-by told me there was a service station a half mile away, so I took a gas can from the trunk and trudged the distance in the sweltering sun. The attendant filled my two gallon can, and I lugged it back and poured the gas into the tank. But when I tried to unlock the car door, it wouldn't open. Just then, I noticed an identical old car parked a short distance away. That was my car. I had filled a stranger's gas tank. Wearily I walked back to the station. The attendant suggested helpfully, "You know, instead of walking back and forth to fill the tank from the can, you could put a couple of gallons in the tank and then drive the car here." ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Rosalyn Faniel, 34, Boynton Beach, Floriduh Florida toddler pulls loaded gun from toy box during child welfare check A Boynton Beach toddler pulled a loaded gun out of his toy box as police were investigating his home for possible child neglect, the Palm Beach Post reports. Police say the Florida Department of Children services was called to the home to speak to the child's mother, Rosalyn Faniel, 34, about child neglect allegations and complaints they received about a man selling drugs out of the home. As Faniel was being questioned by a police officer and a DCF worker, the cop observed her 3-year-old child pull a loaded black 9mm semi-automatic pistol out of his my little learning toy box and start handling it. Officers immediately took the gun from the child. Police say the gun was loaded with a bullet in the chamber and the safety off. Officers searched the house for other potential hazards and found a box of 9mm ammunition sitting on top of a refrigerator in plain sight next to a black scale and pink makeup bag carrying six bags of white/pink powder weighing .6 grams in total. The powder tested positive for `Oxycodone, says the report. Faniel was taken into custody and charged with child neglect Tuesday. She was released from the Palm Beach County Jail Wednesday on a $3,000 bond, according to court records. The Palm Beach Post says Faniel also faces charges for failure to appear in court and violating release conditions, adding an extra $500 to her bond. She is due back in court on July 13. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Ella Re: Phone not showing who is calling Dear Webby, I was told that my new phone would show me who is calling, but it never does, but it shows me who called while I was away. I know it's probably something stupid simple, so I am afraid to ask anybody around here because they will laugh about it for years. Thanks Ella Dear Ella You are just too efficient for your own good. Don't pounce on the phone like a desperate spinster. Relax, compose yourself, and wait for the second ring. Just before the second ring, the calling number will appear. If it is a telemarketer, lift the phone a couple of inches, and bash the rubber duckie, that you have sitting beside the phone, with your other hand, before letting the phone clatter down on it's cradle. If he phones back, then it wasn't a telemarketer. Have FUN! DearWebby Judge to convict: "The prisons are all full,so I'm sentencing you to five years in the waiting room at the department of motor vehicles." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cleaning Chrome Fixtures By Marty Dick [169 Posts, 1,002 Comments] CLR or vinegar ____________________________________________________ | | How Eratosthenes estimated the circumference of the Earth |
____________________________________________________ >From Gina Time Zones! Stationed in Okinawa, Japan, my son and his wife were expecting their first baby. I was elated when he called me at work with the news of my grandchild's birth. I took down all the statistics and turned to relate it all to my co-workers. "I'm a grandmother!" I declared. "It's a baby girl, and she weighs five pounds." "When was she born?" someone asked. Recalling the date my son told me, I stopped, looked at the calendar, and said in amazement, "Tomorrow!" ___________________________________________________ >From Kati: The husband and wife go to a counselor after 15 years of marriage. The counselor asks them what the problem is and the wife goes into a tirade listing every problem they have ever had in the 15 years they've been married. She goes on and on and on. Finally, the counselor gets up, goes around the desk, embraces the woman and kisses her passionately. The woman shuts up and sits quietly in a daze. The counselor turns to the husband and says "That is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do that?" The husband thinks for a moment and replies, "Well, I can get her here Monday and Wednesday, but Friday I work day shift. " | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________ This is an actual conversation I over-heard at the cross walk. A young woman was talking with an older woman, apparently her mother. "I haven't slept in three days," she complained. "The baby is teething and he's up all night crying." "Why don't you just dip a finger into a thimble-full of brandy and rub it on his gums? That will numb them up and put him right to sleep." answered mom. "I can't give the baby alcohol! Lord knows what that will do to him." "Well, it never hurt you any." The look on her face was priceless. ____________________________________________________ | Today, on June 21, in 1404 Owain Glyndwr established a Welsh Parliament at Machynlleth and was crowned Prince of Wales. 1788 The U.S. Constitution went into effect when New Hampshire became the ninth state to ratify it. 1834 Cyrus McCormick patented the first practical mechanical reaper for farming. Others patented reapers at the same time or earlier. 1859 Andrew Lanergan received the first rocket patent. 1893 The Ferris Wheel was introduced at the World's Columbian Exposition in Chicago, IL. 1913 Georgia Broadwick became the first woman to jump from an airplane. 1937 In Paris, Leon Blum's Popular Front Cabinet resigned. 1938 In Washington, U.S. President Roosevelt signed the $3.75 billion Emergency Relief Appropriation Act. 1939 Lou Gehrig quit baseball due to illness. 1941 German troops entered Russia on a front from the Arctic to Black Sea. 1945 Pan Am announced an 88-hour round-the-world flight at a cost of $700. 1954 The American Cancer Society reported significantly higher death rates among cigarette smokers than among non-smokers. They claimed non-smokers did not die. 1958 In Arkansas, a federal judge let Little Rock delay school integration. 1958 Linus Pauling and Detlev Bronke, both Americans, were elected to the Soviet Academy of Science. 1960 In Zurich, German, Armin Hary ran 100-meters in a record 10.0 seconds. 1963 In St. Louis, Bob Hayes set a record when he ran the 100- yard dash in 0:09.1. 1963 France announced that they were withdrawing from the North Atlantic NATO fleet. 1973 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that states may ban materials found to be obscene according to local standards. 1974 The U.S. Supreme Court decided that pregnant teachers could no longer be forced to take long leaves of absence. 1985 Scientists announced that skeletal remains exhumed in Brazil were those of Nazi war criminal Josef Mengele. 1989 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that burning the American flag as a form of political protest was protected by the First Amendment. 2001 Former Haitian Army colonel Carl Dorelien was taken into custody in Port St. Lucie. Dorelien had been in exile since 1994 when he was sentenced to life in prison for his role in a 1994 massacre. 2003 The fifth Harry Potter book, "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix," was published by J.K. Rowling. Amazon.com shipped out more than one million copies on this day making the day the largest distribution day of a single item in e- commerce history. The book set sales records around the world with an estimated 5 million copies were sold on the first day. 2004 SpaceShipOne, designed by Burt Rutan and piloted by Mike Melvill, reached 328,491 feet above Earth in a 90 minute flight. The height is about 400 feet above the distance scientists consider to be the boundary of space. 2017 Do smiled. |
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