Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, June 14 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! _____________________________________________________ Today, June 14 in 1954 U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower signed an order adding the words "under God" to the Pledge of Allegiance. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Domestic Assault with Burrito ! ! ! ! _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! _______________________________________________ Half of the modern drugs could well be thrown out of the window, except that the birds might eat them. --- Dr. Martin Henry Fischer _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Danny said, "I wonder if it's really bad luck to have a black cat cross your path." Jillian said, "That would depend on whether you're a man or a mouse." ______________________________________________________` Dallas Lawn Sprinkler _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Suzanne Hurlvert, 51, Carl Owen Smith, 65, Crestview, Florida Domestic Assault with Burrito Burrito Supreme and Fork Fight Spark Arrests in Crestview - A Crestview couple was arrested early this morning after the wife hit her husband in the back of the head with a burrito during an argument over his alcohol consumption. The husband responded by stabbing his wife in the hand with a fork. The fork's four tines were so deeply embedded they had to be removed by staff at North Okaloosa Medical Center. Okaloosa County Sheriff's Office deputies were called to the Hare Street home of 51-year old Suzanne Hurlvert and 66-year old Carl Owen Smith shortly before midnight after getting reports of a disturbance. They say Hurlvert was relatively calm and in good spirits but had a fork protruding from her right hand. She told deputies she and Smith got into an argument about his desire to go out to the bar to drink every night. During the argument, she hit him in the back of the head with her half-eaten Taco Bell Burrito Supreme. She said Smith then stabbed her hand with a fork he was using to eat a Taco Bell pizza and left their home. Portions of the burrito were located on the floor, scattered on the sofa, and on a lamp shade. An OCSO deputy located Smith at a Crestview bar. Smith initially said he threw the fork at Hulvert but did not stab her. When the deputy showed Smith a photograph of Hurlvert's hand with the embedded fork, he says Smith began laughing and reported a lengthy historic of domestic violence between the pair. Both now face felony charges. Smith is charged with Aggravated Battery domestic violence related. Hulvert is charged with domestic violence related battery, second or subsequent offense. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Mark Re: Find owner of a domain Dear Webby Would you know how to find out who owns a domain name? Friend of mine tried to get her name albeit found out it is registered. Doesn't know who actually owns it. Appreciate all the insights you share. Mark Dear Mark Nowadays it is fashionable for real idiots to hide the ownership of domains. I can see hiding the email address from spammers, but to hide the name of the business or owner, that takes a special kind of stupid. Tell me what name she is interested in. I am one of the sharpest consultants in that field, and can probably find a suitable name that is available. The more details about what she plans to do, the closer a match I can find. I can also help her avoid bad names like whorepresents.com that belongs not to "whore presents", but to "who represents"; or "expertsexchange.com" which has nothing to do with sex change of experts; or "therapistfinder.com", apparently not for finding the rapist, but therapists; or "speedofart.com", which has not much to do with farts in speedos, and so on. A domain name can make or break a business, and the selection of a domain name should of a domain name should not be taken lightly. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. A hat was passed around a church congregation to take up an offering for the visiting minister. Presently it was returned to him...embarrassingly empty. Slowly the parson inverted the hat and shook it meaningfully. Then raising his eyes heavenward, he exclaimed, "I thank you, Lord, that I got my hat back from this congregation." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
My Uncle Joe was arrested for selling home-stilled whiskey. His lawyer put him on the stand and asked the jurors to look carefully at his client. "Now, ladies and gentleman of the jury," concluded the lawyer, "you've looked carefully at the defendant. Can you sit there in the jury and honestly believe that if my client had a quart of whiskey he would sell it?" He was acquitted. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Memory Aid: Changing What's Familiar In order to remember a one-time thing, I take my wedding ring or watch off and put it on the opposite hand. It is so irritating to have it on the wrong hand that I keep reminding myself why it is there. thriftyfun.Com ____________________________________________________ | | Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! |
___________________________________________________ Upon her engagement the exuberant young woman went to her mother and said, "I've found a man just like father!" Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?" ___________________________________________________ >From Blondie With her brown eyes and curly hair, our youngest daughter takes after my husband. At three, she was a lively, mischievous girl, and people often remarked on how cute she was. One day I was standing with her in the supermarket when a woman commented on how cute she was. My smile disappeared when she asked, "Is she really yours?" ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
After our friends were married, they left the church and were disappointed to see that their car looked completely normal. No one had decorated it with "Just Married" signs or tin cans or balloons or anything at all. "Disappointed" was not, however, the word used by the priest who married them. His car was very similar in make, model and color as the groom's vehicle. ___________________________________________________ | Today, June 14 in 1775 The Continental Army was founded by the Second Continental Congress for purposes of common defense. This event is considered to be the birth of the United States Army. On June 15, George Washington was appointed commander-in-chief. 1777 The Continental Congress in Philadelphia adopted the "Stars and Stripes" as the national flag of the United States. The Flag Resolution stated "Resolved: that the flag of the United States be made of thirteen stripes, alternate red and white; that the union be thirteen stars, white in a blue field, representing a new Constellation." On May 20, 1916, President Woodrow Wilson officially proclaimed June 14 "Flag Day" as a commemoration of the "Stars and Stripes." 1789 Captain William Bligh of the HMS Bounty arrived in Timor in a small boat. 1834 Cyrus Hall McCormick received a patent for his reaping machine. 1834 Isaac Fischer Jr. patented sandpaper. 1841 The first Canadian parliament opened in Kingston. 1907 Women in Norway won the right to vote. 1917 General John Pershing arrived in Paris during World War I. 1919 The first non-stop trans-Atlantic flight began. Captain John Alcot and Lt. Arthur Brown flew from Newfoundland to Ireland. 1927 Nicaraguan President Adolfo Diaz signed a treaty with the U.S. allowing American intervention in his country. 1940 The Nazis opened their concentration camp at Auschwitz in German-occupied Poland. 1940 German troops entered Paris. As Paris became occupied loud speakers announced the implementation of a curfew being imposed for 8 p.m. 1943 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that schoolchildren could not be made to salute the U.S. flag if doing so conflicted with their religious beliefs. 1944 Sixty U.S. B-29 Superfortress' attacked an iron and steel works factory on Honshu Island. 1945 Burma was liberated by Britain. 1949 The state of Vietnam was formed. 1951 "Univac I" was unveiled. It was a computer designed for the U.S. Census Bureau and billed as the world's first commercial computer. 1952 The Nautilus was dedicated. It was the first nuclear powered submarine. 1954 U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower signed an order adding the words "under God" to the Pledge of Allegiance. 1954 Americans took part in the first nation-wide civil defense test against atomic attack. 1965 A military triumvirate took control in Saigon, South Vietnam. 1967 Mariner 5 was launched from Cape Kennedy, FL. The space probe's flight took it past Venus. 1982 Argentine forces surrendered to British troops on the Falkland Islands. 1989 Former U.S. President Reagan received an honorary knighthood from Britain's Queen Elizabeth II. 1990 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld police checkpoints that are used to examine drivers for signs of intoxication. 1994 The New York Rangers won the Stanley Cup by defeating the Vancouver Canucks. It was the first time the Rangers had won the cup in 54 years. 2019 Do smiled. |
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