Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, October 17 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award: University of Delaware student arrested in kidnapping, assault of woman ___________________________________________________ Today, October 17 in 1933 Dr. Albert Einstein moved to Princeton, NJ, after leaving Germany. ____________________________________________________ In politics, absurdity is not a handicap. --- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769 - 1821) The more original a discovery, the more obvious it seems afterwards. --- Arthur Koestler (1905 - 1983) The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other. --- Will Rogers Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. --- Albert Schweitzer ____________________________________________________ The first week they were married Mick gave his wife almost all his wages for that week, except for fifty pence, which he kept for himself. The next pay-day his wife said to him "Mick, it must have been hard to manage on fifty pence for the week, I don't know how you did it." "You will" he said grimly, "It's your turn to have fifty pence this week...." ____________________________________________________ Here is an explanation of the school homework policy: Students should not spend more than 90 minutes per night. This time should be budgeted in the following manner: 15 minutes looking for assignment. 11 minutes calling a friend for the assignment. 23 minutes explaining why the teacher is mean and just does not like children. 8 minutes in the bathroom. 10 minutes getting a snack. 7 minutes checking the TV Guide. 6 minutes telling parents that the teacher never explained the assignment. 10 minutes sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Mom or Dad to do the assignment. ____________________________________________________  ____________________________________________________ Tony and John met for the first time in twenty years. "So, how's life been for you?" Tony asked. "Not too good," John replied. "My first wife died of cancer, my second wife turned out to be a lesbian and ran off with another woman and took all our savings, my son's in prison for trying to kill me, my daughter got run over by a bus, my house was hit by a low-flying aircraft, my vintage car rolled off the dockside into the sea, I had to have my dog put down recently, my doctor says that I have an incurable disease and to cap it all my business has just gone bust." "Oh dear, that sounds terrible." Tony said. "What business were you in?" "I sell lucky charms," said John. ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock  An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Brandon Freyre, 20, Maryland, USA University of Delaware student arrested in kidnapping, assault of woman A University of Delaware student is accused of strangling a woman to the point of unconsciousness and holding her captive inside an apartment for hours before throwing the victim down a flight of stairs. According to police, Brandon Freyre, 20, of Maryland, and the victim engaged in a verbal argument on Oct. 8 inside the apartment. During the course of the argument, Freyre allegedly damaged property belonging to the victim. Investigators say the argument escalated and Freyre struck the victim with blunt objects, sprayed her in the eyes with spray paint and threatened to kill her if she contacted police. He is also accused of strangling her to unconsciousness. Freyre allegedly blocked the exit to the room and prevented the victim from leaving the apartment. After about four hours, police say he threw the victim down a flight of stairs and she was able to flee the apartment and contact authorities. The victim was transported to an area hospital by EMS and was treated for non-life-threatening injuries. Freyre knew the victim, police say. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ From: Bonnie Re: Forwarding Dear Webby, I love the picture in today's humor letter & would like to send it to some friends who would get a real laugh from it too. How can I send it on? I am a technology impaired senior citizen, so please make it simple. Keep up the good work. My day wouldn't be complete without a giggle or two from you. Thanks a lot. Have a great day. Bonnie Dear Bonnie You can send them a link to where it is on-line: http://webby.com/humor That web address is also easy enough to remember, so that you can read the humor letter at any library or cyber cafe while travelling, and let the real letter continue to go to your home address. Have FUN! DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
Please donate a dollar,
or two, if you can afford it!
Please, help me stay online!
 |
_____________________________________________ An auto mechanic received a repair order that read: "Check for clunking sound when going around corners." Taking the car out for a test drive, he made a right turn, and a moment later he heard a 'clunk.' He then made a left turn and again heard a 'clunk.' Back at the shop he opened the car's trunk, and soon discovered the problem. Promptly he returned the repair order to the service manager with the notation, "Removed bowling ball from trunk". ______________________________________________ A little boy and girl are playing in a sandbox. The little boy has to go to take a pee and he was told by his mother to always be polite and don't talk about private matters in public. At first he holds it in for a little while because he does not know what to say to the little girl to excuse himself. Then he remembers what his Mom had said at the restaurant to excuse herself from the table. So, he turns to the little girl and says, "Will you excuse me. I have to go powder my nose." And saying that, he leaps out of the sandbox and runs to the washroom. When he comes back the little girl looks up at him and asks, "Did you powder your nose?" "Yes," said the little boy stepping back into the sandbox. "Well, then," says the little girl, "you'd better close your purse because your lipstick is hanging out." ______________________________________________  Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
A loaded minivan pulls into the only remaining campsite. Four children leap from the vehicle and begin feverishly unloading gear and setting up the tent. The boys rush to gather firewood, while the girls and their mother set up the camp stove and cooking utensils. A nearby camper marvels to the youngsters' father, "That, sir, is some display of teamwork." "I have a system," says the father. "No one goes to the bathroom until the camp is set up." ___________________________________________________ Today, October 17, in 1739 Thomas Coram was granted a Royal Charter from George II so a "hospital for the maintenance and education of exposed and deserted young children" in Londond, England. 1777 American troops defeated British forces in Saratoga, NY. It was the turning point in the American Revolutionary War. 1888 The first issue of "National Geographic Magazine" was released at newsstands. 1931 Al Capone was convicted on income tax evasion and was sentenced to 11 years in prison. He was released in 1939. 1933 Dr. Albert Einstein moved to Princeton, NJ, after leaving Germany. 1945 Colonel Juan Peron became the dictator of Argentina after staging a coup in Buenos Aires. 1973 The Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC) began an oil-embargo against several countries including the U.S. and Great Britain. The incident stemmed from Western support of Israel when Egypt and Syria attacked the nation on October 6, 1973. The embargo lasted until March of 1974. 1978 U.S. President Carter signed a bill that restored full U.S. citizenship rights to Confederate President Jefferson Davis. 1979 Mother Teresa of India was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. 1987 U.S. First Lady Nancy Reagan underwent a modified radical mastectomy at Bethesda Naval Hospital in Maryland. 1989 An earthquake measuring 7.1 on the Richter Scale hit the San Francisco Bay area in California. The quake caused about 67 deaths, 3,000 injuries, and damages up to $7 billion. 1994 Israel and Jordan initialed a draft peace treaty. 1994 The Angolan government and rebels agreed to a peace treaty that ended their 19 years of civil war. 1997 The remains of revolutionary Ernesto "Che" Guevara were laid to rest in his adopted Cuba, 30 years after his execution in Bolivia. 2000 In New York City, Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum opened to the public. The 42nd Street location joined Tussaud's other exhibitions already in London, Hong Kong, Amsterdam and Las Vegas. 2001 Israel's tourism minister was killed. A radical Palestinian faction claimed that it had carried out the assassination to avenge the killing of its leader by Israel 2 months earlier. 2001 Pakistan placed its armed forces on high alert because of troop movements by India in the disputed territory of Kashmir. India said that the movements were part of a normal troop rotation. 2001 Italian priest Giuseppe "Beppe" Pierantoni was kidnapped by the terrorist group the "Pentagon." He was released on April 8, 2002. 2003 In the U.S., the Food and Drug Administration approved a drug, known as memantine, to help people with Alzheimer's symptoms. 2003 In Taipei, Taiwan, construction crews finished 1,676- foot-tall-building called Taipei 101. The building was planned to open for business in 2004. 2003 In northwest England, the Carnforth railway station reopened as a heritage center. 2021 Do smiled. |
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |  |
Go to TOP
Well, Do , that's all for today.
Have FUN !
Dear Webby from Webby.com
Please give a friend a subscription to the Humor Letter
If the greeting on top does NOT have your first name,
or at least your favorite nickname, please tell me.
I can correct that in two seconds and greet you properly
from then on.
If you want to give a gift subscription to a friend, but don't
have time to subscribe her or him, just hit REPLY and tell me.
I will gladly enter them for you and send them a confirmation request.
To reply to me personally, just hit REPLY or write to humor@webby.com
If you do not normally get the Humor Letter every day, and this was the first time,
then a friend sent you a one time sample or maybe even gave you a gift subscription.
If you like the Humor Letter, then you can subscribe at http://webby.com/sub.html
You can also UNsubscribe there.
If you don't want to receive the Webby Humor Letter,
please unsubscribe by clicking the link below:
You are currently subscribed to the Regular HTML version with this address:
newsletter@newslettercollector.com
UNSUBSCRIBE from the regular HTMLversion
| . |
Privacy Policy | About 
