Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, January 6 Thank you, Clyde!!!! Thank you, Leonard!!! Thank you, Trevor!! Thank you, Hermon!! Thank you, Nancy!! Thank you, Carl! Thank you, Neil!! Thank you, Adrien! Thank you, Gyppo! Thank you, Bonnie! Thank you, Ophelia! Thank you, Amy! ___________________________________________________ Today, January 6 in  1930 The first American diesel-engine automobile trip was completed after a run of 792 miles from Indianapolis, IN, to New York City, NY.  ______________________________________________________ 
 If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
 
   
 Today's Bonehead Award:  Convicted murderer charged with killing girlfriend on Christmas Eve in Wichita  __________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  _______________________________________________ O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet. --- Saint Augustine (354 AD - 430 AD) _______________________________________________ >From Ella My son is the manager of a glass and window company and ad- vertised in the paper for experienced glaziers. Since a good glass man is hard to find, he was pleased when a man who called about the job said he had over 10 years of experience. "Where have you worked as a glazier?" my son asked. The man replied, "Dunkin' Donuts." ________________________________________________`   ____________________________________________________ 
 If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  Thanks for your votes!
 ___________________________________________________  An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Ahmad Khaasanouva Bey, 39, Wichita, Kansas  CRIME & COURTS Convicted murderer charged with killing girlfriend on Christmas Eve in Wichita  A convicted murderer is charged with the Christmas Eve killing of a Wichita woman whose body was found in the trunk of her car after the holiday. Ahmad Khaasanouva Bey, 39, was charged Tuesday in Sedgwick County District Court with first-degree murder in the Dec. 24 death of 41-year-old Melinda K. Sprague. The two were in a dating relationship, Wichita police have said, and prosecutors allege the killing was domestic violence. Bey is also charged with criminal possession of a weapon by a convicted felon. A coworker reported Sprague missing when she didn't show up to work on Christmas Eve. Police found her car behind a business near Harry and Hydraulic two days later. Her body was in the trunk of the car. Bey was convicted in 1999 of second-degree murder in Crawford County, Kansas Department of Corrections records show. He was released on parole in July 2019 after spending about 20 years in prison. He remains in the Sedgwick County Jail in lieu of $500,000 bail on the murder charge. In a separate court case, Bey is charged with two counts of an offender registration violation for allegedly failing to register with the Sedgwick County Sheriff's Office in August and October. That case was also filed Tuesday. He has an additional $100,000 bail set in that case. Also arrested in the murder case was Vanessa Lynne Waner, 34. Prosecutors charged her with interference with law enforcement by concealing, destroying or altering evidence of a murder. She is jailed in lieu of $100,000 bail. 
 DearWebby's Tech Support Pits  From:Eileen Re: Slow hard drive  Dear Webby, Lately my hard drive is getting slower and slower. Just opening a big folder with the Windows file explorer has that silly flashlight waving back and forth for minutes. What causes that, and how do I fix it? Eileen  Dear Eileen That is a typical symptom of bad fragmentation. When you open a file to work on it, it won't fit into the place where it came from, so a fragment gets parked somewhere else. Soon each file has bits and pieces all over the place, and Windows has problems getting them all connected. The built in defrag usually does not work. Almost everybody finds it a big waste of time, just conning people into buying new hard drives, when all they need is a decent defrag program. I use Diskeeper. It is not free, but seems to be worth it's $49 price. It takes a bit of getting used to, since it only works when you don't. The ones, that entertain you with Tetris style graphics usually don't really work. With Diskeepernot much happens while you work, but go make some coffee or do the dishes, and when you come back, the bar graph at the bottom has moved. I don't need entertainment, just results. Have FUN! DearWebby 
 Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
 The man entered the florist shop and ordered a bouquet of flowers to be delivered to his wife. When asked what he wanted on the card, he replied that no card was necessary as she'd know who they came from. Shortly after the flowers were delivered, the florist received a phone call from the wife asking who had sent the flowers. The florist told her that the sender requested no card be included. "Please, I've GOT to know WHO sent these flowers BEFORE my husband comes home for lunch!" 
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
 
  
 A southern woman was rushing to get ready for church. She ran frantically throughout her house, tore through her closet, threw her clothes over her head and ran out the door to her car. When she arrived at the church, she saw a man coming towards her. "Tell - me," she panted in her southern drawl, "is - m - ass out?" "Nope," the man replied, but yer hat's on crooked." ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Save With a Vacuum Sealer Five years ago, I brought a vacuum sealer on sale for $20. We have saved a lot by resealing snack packages and breaking down family packs of meat into smaller portions. Since 2006, we've experienced an economic downturn that forces us to shop out of the freezer. If we had to buy one now, we couldn't. I'm thankful we turned to frugal living while we had money. Drawlee  Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun  ____________________________________________________  
  
 
A Murano glass blower makes me the Ferrari logo 
 ___________________________________________________ A very zealous soul-winning young preacher recently came upon a farmer working in his field. Being concerned about the farmer's soul the preacher asked the man, "Are you laboring in the vineyard of the Lord my good man?" Not even looking at the preacher and continuing his work the farmer replied, "Naw, these are soybeans." "You don't understand," said the preacher. "Are you a Christian?" With the same amount of interest as his previous answer the farmer said, "Nope my name is Jones. You must be lookin for Jim Christian. He lives a mile south of here." The young determined preacher tried again asking the farmer, "Are you lost?" "Naw! I've lived here all my life," answered the farmer. "Are you prepared for the resurrection?" the frustrated preacher asked. This caught the farmer's attention and he asked, "When's it gonna be?" Thinking he had accomplished something the young preacher replied, "It could be today, tomorrow, or the next day." Taking a handkerchief from his back pocket and wiping his brow, the farmer remarked, "Well, don't mention it to my wife. She don't get out much and she'll wanna go all three days." ___________________________________________________ Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a lesson on science. She had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron. Now it was question time and she asked, "My name begins with the letter 'M' and I pick up things. What am I?" A little boy on the front row said, "You're a mother!" ___________________________________________________ A film crew was on location deep in the desert. One day an old Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow rain." The next day it rained. A week later, the Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow storm." The next day there was a hailstorm. "This Indian is incredible," said the director. He told his secretary to hire the Indian to predict the weather for the remaining of the shoot. However, after several successful predictions, the old Indian didn't show up for two weeks. Finally the director sent for him. "I have to shoot a big scene tomorrow," said the director, "and I'm depending on you. What will the weather be like?" The Indian shrugged his shoulders. "Don't know," he said. "They repossessed the TV." __________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 ___________________________________________________  
 Today January 6 in 0871 England's King Alfred defeated the Danes at the Battle of Ashdown. 1205 Philip of Swabia was crowned as King of the Romans. 1453 Frederick III erected Austria into an Archduchy. 1540 King Henry VIII of England was married to Anne of Cleves, his fourth wife. 1720 The Committee of Inquiry on the South Sea Bubble published its findings. 1838 Samuel Morse publicly demonstrated the telegraph for the first time. 1896 The first American women's six-day bicycle race was held at Madison Square Garden in New York City. 1900 In India, it was reported that millions of people were dying from starvation. 1900 Off of South Africa, the British seized the German steamer Herzog. The boat was released on January 22, 1900. 1930 The first diesel-engine automobile trip was completed after a run of 792 miles from Indianapolis, IN, to New York City, NY. 1942 The first commercial around-the-world airline flight took place. Pan American Airlines was the company that made history with the feat. 1945 The Battle of the Bulge ended with 130,000 German and 77,000 Allied casualties. 1950 Britain recognized the Communist government of China. 1952 "Peanuts" debuted in Sunday papers across the United States. 1967 U.S. and South Vietnamese forces launched a major offensive, known as Operation "Deckhouse V", in the Mekong River delta. 1982 William G. Bonin was convicted in Los Angeles, CA, of being the "freeway killer" who had murdered 14 young men and boys. 1987 After a 29-year lapse, the Ford Thunderbird was presented with the Motor Trend Car of the Year Award. It was the first occurrence of a repeat winner of the award. 1994 Figure skater Nancy Kerrigan was clubbed on the right leg by an assailant at Cobo Arena in Detroit, MI. Four men were later sentenced to prison for the attack, including Tonya Harding's ex-husband. 1998 The spacecraft Lunar Prospect was launched into orbit around the moon. The craft was crashed into the moon, in an effort to find water under the lunar surface, on July 31, 1999. 1999 The 106th U.S. Congress opened. The first item on the agenda was the impeachment proceedings of U.S. President Bill Clinton. The trial was set to begin January 7, 1999. 2019 Do smiled. 

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!

ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them
in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog