Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, January 2 Thank you, Clyde!!! Today's Bonehead Award: Cowboy boot-wearing racist kicked black baby boy onto supermarket floor ______________________________________________________ Today, January 2 in 1872 Brigham Young, the 71-year-old leader of the Mormon Church, was arrested on a charge of bigamy. He had 25 wives. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile. --- Albert Schweitzer (1875 - 1965) Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye. --- Miss Piggy ______________________________________________________ >From Ada MY 12-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER asked me, "Mom, do you have a baby picture of yourself? I need it for a school project." I gave her one without thinking to ask what the project was. A few days later I was in her classroom for a parent-teacher meeting when I noticed my face pinned to a mural the students had created. The title of their project was "The oldest thing in my house." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ COLLECTED COMMENTS OF COLLEGE STUDENTS He teaches like Speedy Gonzalez on a caffeine high. Help! I've fallen asleep and I can't wake up! His blackboard technique puts Rembrandt to shame. Textbook is confusing ... someone with a knowledge of English should proofread it. This class was a religious experience for me ... I had to take it all on faith. The recitation instructor would make a good parking lot attendant. Tries to tell you where to go, but you can never understand him. Problem sets are a decoy to lure you away from potential exam material. Recitation was great. It was so confusing that I forgot who I was, where I was, and what I was doing - it's a great stress reliever. Information was presented like a ruptured fire hose - spraying in all directions - no way to stop it. He knows the facts, but doesn't seem to understand why or how they occur. Philosophy might be interesting for a profesor, who is scared of reality. _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question. St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, "What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg? They just made a movie about it." The teacher answered quickly, "That would be the Titanic." St.Peter let him through the gate. St. Peter turned to the garbage man and, figuring Heaven didn't REALLY need all the odors that this guy would bring with him, decided to make the question a little harder: "How many people died on the ship?" Fortunately for him, the trash man had just seen the movie, and answered, "1,228." "That's right! You may enter." St. Peter then turned to the lawyer. "Name them." ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Riff Trace, 31, Wichita, Kansas Cowboy boot-wearing racist kicked black baby boy onto supermarket floor A cowboy boot-wearing white supremacist kicked a one year-old black baby in the back and sent him tumbling to a supermarket floor, police said. Jhavii Whitaker was attacked from behind by Trace Riff, 31, as Trace screamed the N-word at the baby and his 11 year-old sister. Recalling the incident at a Dillon's supermarket in Wichita, Kansas, Sunday, Jhavii's mother Lashantai Whitaker said: 'I heard a thud like a loud thud, and I'm thinking it's something that fell off a shelf or something. One year-old Jhavii Whitaker was kicked in the back by a racist and tumbled to the floor while shopping with his mother and sister on Sunday 'But my daughter started to scream, so I turned around, and she was picking my son off the ground. He was screaming to the top of his lungs.' Lashantai, who is pregnant, was walking just ahead of her children when she heard the commotion, and turned around to hear her daughter screaming that Jhavii had been kicked. The impact had sent the little boy crashing face-down onto the floor, with Riff then alleged to have tried to run away. He was apprehended by shocked eyewitnesses who pinned him to the ground, with Riff reportedly screaming more racist slurs, and claiming to be a white supremacist. Lashanta told KSN: 'He was just referring to us as the N-word and just making it known that he was a white supremacist and repeatedly saying it over and over. 'What person is sitting around at the Dillon's waiting to attack children?' She added: 'I'm hoping that they give him time, and it doesn't happen to somebody else's child.' Riff, who has numerous previous convictions including DUI and domestic violence, was arrested and charged with ethnic intimidation, battery and resisting police. He has since been released on $3,500 bond, with no conditions, to the horror of his alleged victim's family. From: Kay Re: Free interior design program Dear Webby, I am looking for a safe free download program to design rooms in my new home. For instance, new flooring, carpet etc. There are several offered on line, but not sure if they are safe. Thank you for all of your really useful information in you daily letter. Hope you have a blessed, happy and healthy New Year. Kay I am not familiar with any of those design programs. Google for Interior Design programs. You will probably find a few comparative reviews. By the way, stay away from carpets except at the entrance door, where you take your muddy shoes off, and in the bedroom to cut down the noise you make. For the rest of the house use cushion vinyl. Then you can use those flying saucer vacuum and mop robots. And most emphatically INSIST that the vinyl is pulled up 4 inches at every wall, instead of floor boards or trim, that creates black lines unless your maid scrubs off the black line on hands and knees. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. An Australian entered a bar and stood beside a Scotsman. "Where are you from, pal?" asked the Scotsman, after they had chatted for a while. "I'm from the finest country in the whole wide world," said the Australian. "Are you?" said the other, "you have a funny accent for a Scotsman." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Last summer my wife and I met a couple at a restaurant. After lunch, the women decided to go shopping, and I invited the man to go sailing. While we were out on the water, a storm blew up. The tide had gone out, and we were down wind trying to work our way back through a narrow channel. At one point the boat grounded and we had to climb overboard and shove with all our might to get it back in deeper water. As my new friend stood there, ankle deep in muck, the wind blowing his hair wildly, icy rain streaming down his face, he grinned at me, and with unmistakable sincerity said, "Sure beats shopping." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Serving Wine My niece's class assignment was to interview a senior citizen about his or her life, so she asked me, "What was the biggest historical event that happened during your childhood?" "I'd have to say the moon walk," I replied. She looked disappointed. "That dance was so important to you?" Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ | | The 10 Weirdest Science Stories of 2018 |
___________________________________________________ A man received a phone call one day, and the caller asked if he had lost a parrot. He said that he had indeed lost the bird, but wanted to know how the caller located him. The caller said that the bird had landed on his balcony and kept repeating, "Hi, you have reached 555-1234. I can't come to the phone right now, please leave a message at the tone. Screeeech!" ___________________________________________________ >From Ella I used to live in New Brunswick, New Jersey, the home of Rutgers University. The new flock of kids attending college always includes those who need a little help with everyday chores they themselves never did before, such as laundry or grocery-shopping. I was in the dairy aisle for some eggs. As usual, I opened the carton to check them over before putting them in my cart. Beside me, a young man did the same to his carton ...then leaned toward me and asked, "What are we looking for?" ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
Judge: I thought I told you I didn't want to see you in this court again. Defendant: I told the policeman that, but he didn't believe me. ___________________________________________________ | Today January 2 in 1492 The leader of the last Arab stronghold in Spain surrendered to Spanish forces loyal to King Ferdinand II and Queen Isabella I. 1842 In Fairmount, PA, the first wire suspension bridge was opened to traffic. 1859 Erastus Beadle published "The Dime Book of Practical Etiquette." 1872 Brigham Young, the 71-year-old leader of the Mormon Church, was arrested on a charge of bigamy. He had 25 wives. 1879 Thomas Edison began construction on his first generator. 1882 The Standard Oil Trust agreement was completed and dated. The document transferred the stock and property of more than 40 companies into the control of nine trustees lead by John D. Rockefeller. This was the first example of what became known as a holding company. 1890 Alice Sanger became the first female White House staffer. 1892 Ellis Island opened as America's first federal immigration center. Annie Moore, at age 15, became the first person to pass through. 1900 U.S. Secretary of State John Hay announced the Open Door Policy to prompt trade with China. 1900 The Chicago Canal opened. 1917 Royal Bank of Canada took over the Quebec Bank. 1929 The United States and Canada reached an agreement on joint action to preserve Niagara Falls. 1935 Bruno Richard Hauptmann went on trial for the kidnap-murder of Charles Lindberghs baby. Hauptmann was found guilty and executed. 1942 The Philippine capital of Manila was captured by Japanese forces during World War II. 1953 "The Life of Riley" debuted on NBC-TV. 1955 Panamanian President Jose Antonio Remon was assassinated. 1968 Fidel Castro announced petroleum and sugar rationing in Cuba. 1971 In the U.S., a federally imposed ban on television cigarette advertisements went into effect. 1974 U.S. President Richard M. Nixon signed a bill requiring all states to lower the maximum speed limit to 55 MPH. The law was intended to conserve gasoline supplies during an embargo imposed by Arab oil-producing countries. Federal speed limits were abolished in 1995. 1983 The musical "Annie" closed on Broadway at the Uris Theatre after 2,377 performances. 1991 Sharon Pratt Dixon was sworn in as mayor of Washington, DC. She was the first black woman to head a city of that size and prominence. 1996 AT&T announced that it would eliminate 40,000 jobs over three years. 1998 Russia began circulating new rubles in effort to keep inflation in check and promote confidence. 2004 NASA's Stardust space probe collected samples from the comet Wild 2. The samples returned to Earth on January 15, 2006. 2008 The price of oil hit $100 per barrell for the first time. 2018 Do smiled. |
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