Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, February 16 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Today, February 16, in 1959, Fidel Castro seized power in Cuba after the overthrow of President Fulgencio Batista. ___________________________________________________ Bonehead Award Mesa K9 officer tracks down man accused of assaulting woman at light rail stop ___________________________________________________ The crux... is that the vast majority of the mass of the universe seems to be missing. --- William J. Broad ___________________________________________________ While my son was on board the Navy carrier USS GEORGE WASHINGTON, the air wing was busy with training missions. After talking to a pilot, one air-traffic controller accidentally left his microphone on and remarked to a nearby buddy, "That guy sounded just like Elmer Fudd." The airwaves got strangely quiet as everyone listened, realizing that the pilot had also heard the comment. After about ten seconds, the pilot broke the silence by announcing, "Be vewy, vewy quiet. We awe hunting submawenes." ___________________________________________________ In America the late night news used to broadcast this message: "It's 11 o'clock. Do you know where your children are? In Canada they say: "It's 11 o'clock. Do you kow where the beer is?" In England they say: "Its 11 o'clock. Do you know where your wife is? In France they say "It's 11o'clock. Do you know where your husband is?" In Afghanistan they say:" Its 11 o'clock do you know what time it is...?" ____________________________________________________   Sailesh Jain King Kong of Lizards ____________________________________________________ A 6 year old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a church service, "And give us our bus passes, as we forgive those who gas pass against us." ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Leon Jones, 39, Mesa, Arizona, USA  Mesa K9 officer tracks down man accused of assaulting woman at light rail stop  A Mesa K9 officer tracked down a man accused of assaulting a woman at a light rail station, police said. A woman had reportedly been standing at the light rail station on Main Street and Alma School at 4 a.m. on Feb. 12 when she was knocked to the ground from behind. The attacker, later identified as 39-year-old Leon Jones, hit her in the head multiple times and grabbed her neck until she passed out, police said. When she woke up, he allegedly continued to attack her and forcibly removed her clothing before choking her again. "The victim told police that she did not know who Jones was and has never seen him before," police said. A security guard for a nearby business in the area ran to help after hearing her screams, and Jones ran away once he arrived. Police used information gathered from the victim and the guard to look for him, and a K9 officer picked up his scent to track him down. Within 20 minutes, officers say K9 Officer Hasso was able to find Jones hiding under a box behind some bushes in the area. "The dog found him a lot faster than a human would have, and he did a great job in pinpointing his location. That gives us a chance to give the person a chance to surrender, and also approach him in a safe manner," said Officer Heather Kennedy with Mesa Police. Jones was arrested and faces charges of kidnapping, sexual abuse and aggravated assault. "He's not hurting anybody right now. He's not going to have that opportunity. He's away from the general public, and somebody that dangerous needs to not be out in the general public," said Officer Kennedy. He is held on a $25,000 bond.  ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________  From: Shelley Re: All purpose office program Dear Webby Hope this email finds you well! I have been reading your newsletter for... Holy cow a long time now! Do you have any recommendations for an office type program where I can keep/edit pdfs, and write letters etc that are not filled with Spyware and are preferably a lifetime program? I would like to get things backed off of the "cloud" and just on my computer and I'm attempting to manage my dad's estate and there are so many things that I need to save and send. Also do you have any idea about faxing stuff from online or should I just go to staples? Thank you for your help! Have a great week! Shelley  Dear Shelley I do all of that (and a lot more) with Office Libre, which is basically Open Office with a few frills and samples added. Like Open Office, it is totally free, without ads or naggers. Making or filling out PDF files is no sweat. I scanned my signature many years ago and paste that into forms. I don't ever print them. To fax the filled out forms I use FaxZero The zero is for the cost. For just the odd fax now and then, the cost is zero. If you have to fax something to all your fans, there is a small cost. However, fax has gone out of fashion, since Open Office and Office Libre allow you to paste an authentic looking signature into a PDF, and attach that to email. I use FaxZero just when the recipient does not have email and demands a fax. Have FUN! DearWebby GiveSendGo@GiveSendGo Know this! Canada has absolutely ZERO jurisdiction over how we manage our funds here at GiveSendGo. All funds for EVERY campaign on GiveSendGo flow directly to the recipients of those campaigns, not least of which is The  Freedom Convoy campaign. Have FUN! DearWebby 
 Goodman was a moderately successful stockbroker who dreamed of making the big money someday. He took his friend out for a drive, and he chose the route carefully in order to impress on him the possibilities of the brokerage business. "Look at that yacht," he said as they drove slowly past a marina. "That 96' beauty belongs to the senior partner at Merrill Lynch. That one over there 104' is owned by the head of Goldman, Sachs. And look at that huge 210' yacht out there. That's the pride and joy of the top seller at Prudential-Bache." His friend Morris was silent. Goodman turned to look at him and saw a pained look on his face. "What's the matter?" Goodman asked. "I was just wondering," Morris said. "why aren't there any customers' yachts?" 
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 _____________________________________________  The plane was only half-full. When an attractive young woman asked if the seat next to mine was free, my male ego soared. Soon we were chatting pleasantly, and she told me it was her first flight. "Mom said to sit next to someone I thought I could trust," she confessed nervously. "And you look just like my grand-dad." ______________________________________________ When Lisa noticed a broken vise grip in the trash can, she decided to buy her husband a new one for his birthday. She went to the hardware store and asked the salesman, "Do you have any heavy-duty vises?" "Sorry, ma'am," he replied. "I gave them all up for Lent." ______________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 His wife phoned Abe in the office and said: "Darling, come home early, we are going to have my mother for dinner." "Good" replied Abe, "make sure she's prepared well". ___________________________________________________  
 Today, February 16, in 1741, Benjamin Franklin published America�s second magazine, "The General Magazine and Historical Chronicle". 1804, A raid was led by Lt. Stephen Decatur to burn the U.S. Navy frigate Philadelphia. The ship had been taken by pirates. 1857, The National Deaf Mute College was incorporated in Washington, DC. It was the first school in the world for advanced education of the deaf. The school was later renamed Gallaudet College. 1862, During the U.S. Civil War, about 14,000 Confederate soldiers surrendered to Gen. Ulysses S. Grant at Fort Donelson, TN. 1868, The Jolly Corks organization, in New York City, changed it name to the Benevolent and Protective Order of Elks (BPOE). 1883, "Ladies Home Journal" began publication. 1914, The first airplane flight between Los Angeles and San Francisco took place. 1918, Lithuania proclaimed its independence. 1923, Howard Carter unsealed the burial chamber of Egyptian Pharaoh Tutankhamen. The next day he entered the chamber with several invited guests. He had originally found the tomb on November 4, 1922. 1932, The first fruit tree patent was issued to James E. Markham for a peach tree which ripens later than other varieties. 1937, Wallace H. Carothers received a patent for nylon. Carothers was a research chemist for Du Pont. 1938, The U.S. Federal Crop Insurance program was authorized. 1945, During World War II, U.S. troops landed on the island of Corregidor in the Philippines. 1946, A commercially designed helicopter was tested in Connecticut. 1858, The first ironing board was patented by William Vandenburg and James Harvey. 1959, Fidel Castro seized power in Cuba after the overthrow of President Fulgencio Batista. 1960, The U.S.S. Triton began the first circumnavigation of the globe under water. The trip ended on May 10. 1962, Jimmy Bostwick defeated his brother, Pete, to win the U.S. Open Court-Tennis championships for the third time. 1968, In the U.S., the first 911 emergency telephone system was inaugurated in Haleyville, AL. 1970, Joe Frazier began his reign as the undefeated heavyweight world champion when he knocked out Jimmy Ellis in five rounds. He lost the title on January 22, 1973, when he lost for the first time in his professional career to George Foreman. 1977, The Anglican archbishop of Uganda, Janani Luwum, was killed in automobile accident. Two other men were also killed. 1985, "Kojak" returned to network television after an absence of seven years with the CBS-TV special, "Kojak: The Belarus File." 1987, John Demjanjuk went on trial in Jerusalem. He was accused of being "Ivan the Terrible", a guard at the Treblinka concentration camp. He was convicted, but the Israeli Supreme Court overturned the ruling. 1989, Investigators in Lockerbie, Scotland, announced that a bomb hidden inside a radio-cassette player was the reason that Pan Am Flight 103 was brought down the previous December. All 259 people aboard and 11 on the ground were killed. 1999, A bomb exploded at the government headquarters in Uzbekistan. Gunfire followed the incident. The event apparently was an attempt on the life of President Islam Karimov. 1999, Kurds seized embassies and held hostages across Europe following Turkey's arrest of Kurdish rebel leader Abdullah Ocalan. 1999, Testimony began in the Jasper, TX, trial of John William King. He was charged with murder in the gruesome dragging death of James Byrd Jr. King was later convicted and sentenced to death. 2002, The operator of a crematory in Noble, GA, was arrested after dozens of corpses were found stacked in storage sheds and scattered around in the surrounding woods. 2005, The Kyoto global warming pact went into effect in 140 nations. 2005, The NHL announced the cancellation of the 2004-2005 season due to a labor dispute. It was the first time a major sports league in North America lost an entire season to a labor dispute. 2021 Do smiled. 

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